There's a promise of a perfect happy end
_{And I imagine having just short of that
Is better than nothing}

Distance and space was something that she was good at. Something that she could honestly say that she could do and not think about it. Over the years she and Kit had been friends that were something they had mastered. They knew when to let the other come an go and since she had told him about Phirra things had changed, shifted and maybe that was because of her, maybe the fact that she had done what she had done was a big part of it, but she had no way of knowing. She had no way of being certain about things that were no longer between them. He had not picked her. He had made it obvious who it was that he had wanted and she had tried to move on. She had not really dated. She had shagged a few people, kept in contact with some old friends and had some shag mates. He was doing it again, pushing her away and after their kiss that they had Halloween things had gotten weirder.

Maybe it was like a high that she had been riding that night, that having fun with him had given her, she wasn't sure but things had been weird since then. She wanted to think that there was a good reason for it, that she should have kept her mouth shut, but he probably didn't feel the same, probably never did. She couldn't hate him for that, even if she wanted to, but she couldn't just cut him off either. She loved him, she wanted him, wanted to be around him and days like this when she just felt bad were days when she wanted him around the most. He was her lover, he was her friend, and there would never be a change to that unless he wanted it to, she could never say no to him beforehand and wouldn't be able to say no now. They had been 'together' like this for so long that it was hard to just cut it off, like her emotions. They weren't simple and not a faucet that she could just turn off.

She never felt so lonely as she did on days like this, the one person that she had to talk to about these kinds of things was Kit.... and who was she to supposed to turn to? She ran a hand through her long hair, which was slowly fading back to black and reminded herself to use the rinse to add color back to the blonde. She needed air and didn't want to talk to anyone. She had done all of her homework on Friday save or a History of Magic essay that she had to do, so she decided to take a walk and clear her head. She had too much that she wanted to say, and just not thinking about any of it for a while would be a good thing.

Maybe that was the best thing about being a TA, she didn't have time to think about any of it. She didn't have to think about Kit or the butterflies or the things that he might have to do in the meantime. She had nothing to get jealous of. He was not hers, probably never would be hers and she wanted him to be, but in truth, she didn't see it happening. she was just getting tired of knowing what she wanted and him not wanting her back. When was enough going to be enough?

A cold breeze had blown through the courtyard as she walked and she stopped to look up at the sky. It looked like more snow might be on the horizon, maybe she could have fun with someone if it started to snow. Given that she had friends. if she had them she would.

@hayden | OUTFIT | 638

MA TOLD ME THAT YOU'LL  HAVE TO FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FIGHT FOR IT
THEN DID YOU REALLY WANT IT?

---

It was all nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing to do. Nothing to be seen. Nothing to be heard. Hayden was bored and was running out of ways to amuse himself. He had tried to get Mason to come and have a snowball fight. That was what thirteen-year-olds liked to do. Right? He was very wrong on that one. Mason had opted to stay in the castle where it was warm and where he could study. Hayden should have known better than to recruit his youngest brother. The kid had his nose glued into a book at all times. Why would he want to come out and have fun? He had made his way put to the courtyard where he had told his youngest brother to meet him before Mason rejected him. He stopped when he saw the back of Mandy Baker. He didn't know much about her. Hayden did see that she was pretty. No, that wasn't the right word. All the girls in seventh year were pretty. He tried to search for the word, but nothing seemed right. He watched her from where he stood. Curiosity came to him as he was unsure what she was doing. Finding it more interesting than anything else he could try and find out what was up. He shoved his hands in his pockets to protect them from the breeze that came by. Hayden stood next to Mandy. His steps had been careful. He didn't want to draw attention to himself just yet. He looked out in front of them. One corner of his lips was pulling to the side. Nothing. He held back a sigh, and the turned his head to look Mandy. His eyebrows scrunched once again. Her eyes seemed to be fixed upon the sky. Hayden decided to look for what she was seeing. He scanned the sky. He saw nothing but a faded blue. It was the time of year when it snowed a lot. "Hey." he used his elbow to tap her arm lightly to get her attention. "Do you think if we stare at the sky long enough it will start to snow?" His eyes didn't falter from the sky above.

---

| Word Count: 364 | Outfit: Link | @amanda |

there's a promise of a perfect happy end
_{and I imagine that having just short of that, is better than nothing}

She felt, empty. For the first time in a long time, she had nothing to do besides homework. Her mind and heart had long ago been stolen by a dark-hearted Slytherin, her best friend who meant so much to her, and was everything that she had ever wanted. Kit had taken her virginity, he had stolen her heart and nearly given her the one thing that she had never thought that she needed, a place to belong. That wasn't the case though. The one thing that she had gotten so close to haven, had gotten shut down. She had gotten shut down and time and again her she was alone, again. She had nothing to do with this though, she had made him know how she still felt, the feelings that she still had and now... she had no idea where he was.

This was the one time of year that she hated to be alone. The one time that she wanted nothing more than to be around him, to be made to feel like less of a piece of trash. She knew where her place was now, and she had learned it before, the pain searing through her body with the removal of the cork from the potion bottle. She knew that she was not his choice this time, and nothing would change her mind about the way things were going now. He wasn't going to pick her and Saphirra or no Saphirra he would never love her as she did him.

Damn it. Damn. It. She swallowed and was biting back tears when someone beside her spoke to her and turned her head. Her eyes were still watering and she rubbed underneath them before giving him a small smile, that anyone who didn't know her, would think she was flirting with him. "The sky is like all things, it's going to do something sooner or later. It's about this time of year that the first time comes. "

@hayden | OUTFIT | 330