It's always where i find myself

not enough but too weak to let go

Outfit Jaxon Jameson Cole

She should have known better. She should have known better than to let herself be happy, because she was just hurt again. Not that she was shocked, it was how it always happened. She didn't expect for things go her way any more. she was going to run her businesses, and raise her son. She had the income she needed now, and she had a roof over her head. She wasn't worried about bills any more. She wasn't worried about much of anything really. She had enough on her plate that rushing herself  into all of this had felt right. She had loved Al, yes; but now she was left picking up the pieces that he didn't want to deal with. She was used to that though. Renny was asleep upstairs and a charm had been set to tell her if he was crying. She was working. Not busing tables or bartending but placing the orders she needed for things.

The place was a mess and Dean had no idea what the hell he had been doing. Good lord. She was tired and yawning already, so sitting at the table near the bar and the wall where pictures of people who were friends used to hang she sat with her legs crossed as she looked at it. it was now filled with celebrities who visited. Quidditch players, models, and musicians who signed pictures for her. She had not been in charge long yet but she had no doubt that the wall would fill up yet. She looked up and saw that someone had been waiting at the bar for a while and had not been helped yet.

"Hailee!" She called and the girl was off flirting and helping someone else. Muttering to herself Affy went behind the bar and sighed before tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Can I help.... Jaxon?" She asked him with a small smile. She had not seen the man in a few years. He had been ahead of her in school. She couldn't believe that she was already twenty four. She really didn't feel it.

Giving this town lots to talk about

appearance | @afro

Jaxon had been at Opium for a bit, but one bint was just really getting on his nerves. She had thought she was going home with him--and while he did want to get laid tonight, it wasn't so much that he was willing to put up with another moment of that banshee's screeching. So, when she had gone to the little girl's room, he had gotten the hell out of there.

Not quite ready to call it a night, he decided to leave muggle London and head over to a spot known to be friendly to those with his particular affliction. He liked going to the Roadhouse, because it wasn't as easy to pick him out as a wolf--and he wasn't out publicly at this point in time about this lycanthropy.

Maybe he should have gone somewhere else, though, because serve was rubbish. He had been waiting an age for drink--and the barkeep was busy flirting up some other bloke. Had she seen what HE looked like? She could have been flirting him up. Just as Jaxon was getting ready to get up and leave, a blonde came over. He did not recognize her immediately, but when she spoke his name, memory tugged at his mind bringing up slightly fuzzy images, blurred by time and alcohol, of them at a party. He'd definitely shagged this girl a few times. It had to be at least two years since that last time, though.

But what was her name?! Damn- He was going to look like an ass if he couldn't think of it... but for now, he would cover with his good ole boy charm and some Conway Twitty lyrics. "Well, hello there, darlin'...nice to see ya. It's been a long time. You're just as lovely as you used to be." His deep, country drawl drew out the greeting, and there was nothing musical about his delivery. He didn't think he would get caught deploying song lyrics to amp up his flirtation. There was very little chance that the witch across from him would be familiar with the old country western song. Not a lot of Brits were familiar with American music of that genre or time period.

Running two businesses was not something that she was enjoying really. She liked the bar as much as she did the daycare but she wasn’t going to be able to keep running both of them like she was. She was going to hire managers for both of them to help her, and she knew that it would take a lot for her to be able to trust the people but she couldn’t work herself into a grave. She couldn’t do that to herself or to her son. He was pretty much the only constant thing that she had in her life and she would not change him for the world. He would be two soon and it felt like it had been so much longer since he had been born.

Affy had little family, her brother was dead, her husband had left and filed for divorce and was off doing who knew what. Her parents were a different issue. They had disowned her when she found out she was pregnant. They got angry that she had decided to keep the child, but it was a part of her. he was a part of her, he was her world. How could she even think about giving that up? How could she think about ever giving the one thing that mattered to her up?

Now she had the bar, and the daycare, she had other things to occupy her time, and she knew that a relationship would just muck that up. She wasn’t looking for anything for a while. She had to repair the damage that her ex’s had done. She had to repair her life, and get things together, for herself. She tucked some of the curled blonde hair behind her ear and gave the man a smile. She wrinkled her nose at the words he said and tilted her head. She had heard that line before and blinked a few times. She had a blurry memory of doing shots with him at a party, and waking up at home alone the next day in the wrinkled sheets. ”I think you used that line once before, sir.” She said with a small laugh and laughed a little.

”It’s been three years, there about? Party somewhere, right?” She couldn’t even remember where the party had been. Good lord, that made her feel both old and like a whore all at the same time.

Had he used that line on the blonde before? Surely not... Going with denying it, Jaxon grinned a sheepish, boyish grin--something he could still pull off despite getting up closer and closer to thirty. There might have been a beard on his face, but he still had a lot of boyish charm about him. No matter how strong the man's jaw got, his mess of curls and warm dark eyes kept him looking young.

"Now, I ain't nothing, if I ain't original, darlin'---I thank you just always drawin' out the compliments from this simple man. Ain't got none of those flowery, purdy words that wax poetic about how good lookin' ye are." He was all charm and country twang--His voice was so much deeper than anyone else's in the bar. It brought this raw vibration to the place. 

Still in need of a drink, his eyes flicked over to the beer taps. Then, he nodded that way. "How bout you pour me a tall one--I'll take that German brew ye got on tap---many thanks, ma'am." A wink punctuated the request--and his grin made his dimple appear and do the same. He was all charm and flirtation.

The seeker gave a nod of agreement to Aphrodite's next words. "That sound about right..." He grinned wickedly--that mischievous gleam glinting in his dark eyes as he added: "As I recall it, you and me had us a real good time." 

Jaxon shifted his expression, putting on big puppy dog eyes and looking all sad like as he said: "But then mornin' came and you didn't owl or nothin'...I must not have made too much of an impression." 

There had been plenty of times that Affy and Chris had broken up, plenty of times they had had times where they didn’t even speak for weeks. They had been a volatile pair. When things were good, they were amazing; but when it was bad, it had been very bad. Affy remembered those times with perfect clarity, the endless days of no sleep, they way that her eyes hurt from crying and rubbing at them. She remembered times like that party where they had been fighting but then he had found her and been so sweet and good to her, that had been the best sex that they had ever had, and one of the last times.

The witch missed the Italian male at times, she missed his smile and they way that she would watch him as the sun rose, sweeping through the windows, taking her breath away as the plains of his face were revealed to her alone. As if he was some Adonis for her alone. Of course, finding him cheating proved that wrong and it still hurt. They had been together for so very long. They had been together for so long and then he had just swept it all from the table with some buxom brunette who looked like she had walked off some runway.

The blush and laugh that came from Affy was something else and she couldn’t help but bite her lip. Sweet Merciful Merlin was he adorable. She just wanted to run her hand through his hair and the feeling felt a little familiar, but she brushed the feeling away. Getting a glass she poured the beer, making sure to leave room for the head to form at the top of the glass, placing it before him she gave him the price and leaned on the bar top. She smiled as he spoke but it faded and that crease on her forehead formed. She had been drunk, really drunk that night. She had been in someone else’s home and had woken in a panic rushing to get to work, noting nothing but dark hair. Hair she had assumed belonged to her Fiance.

Oh gods. Oh, good god. It took a minute of hard thinking but some pieces of the night came back. Seeing Chris hitting on someone, getting angry and drinking like crazy. Talking to someone in the shadows on the terrace, making out, and then moving to find a room. Why had she thought it was Chris. Oh GOD. ”Oh, fuck me” She said before pouring herself a shot and downing it before pouring another and taking in a deep breath.

”You’re absolutely certain that it was me?”

It was damn cute the way the witch responded to his flirtations. She was still really easy on the eyes and he enjoyed flattering a pretty things (be they male or female). It was good to be the cause of a bit of blushing and a sweet smile. Jax liked making others feel good and did what he could to make sure that happened--both in and out of the bedroom.

His flirtations seemed to have not the greatest results, though, when he mentioned their night together. She had been drinking--they both had. But he had not thought that she was too far gone to realize what had happened between them. Hell, he was even pretty sure that it was her that had come up to him at first flirting. He had welcomed the attention and been all about what had happened.

It didn't cross his mind then (or now) that he might have taken advantage. He wasn't that type of guy. Blokes and birds came to him--he didn't have to chase. He didn't force himself on anyone and never would. His partners were all willing--and he was sure that included this pretty little blonde. He couldn't even help himself when she mumbled out fuck me under her breath. He flashed her one of his most mischievous devil-may-grin's and drawled: "I done did that, darlin'."

Taking a sip of his beer, his eyes were a bit confused as he looked over the glass at the woman. Shagging him was not usually the sort of thing that made a woman want to take a shot, but the barkeep had just knocked one back real quick like. She asked if he was sure...and he gave a nod. "Yes, ma'am. I sure am. I might have a reputation of gettin' around, but I do keep straight those I take to bed. You gotta know I ain't gonna forgot a purdy thang like you--ain't no way...But I guess I ain't quite as memorable. Keep givin' blows to my ego like that and I'm gonna be cryin' over here."

Affy felt sick to her stomach, and a cold sweat settle onto her skin as her heart thudded, making her blood pulse through her veins at an ever growing rate. She wanted to scream, this wasn’t possible but the more that she thought about it, it was. Chris had been cheating on her, and they hadn’t been intimate in weeks, and when they were, he had used a charm. The idea of children sickened him and she couldn’t help but feel like a fool. No wonder he had left. Shame coursed through her and then she looked up slowly, taking in his words.

He had no idea, and she couldn’t just throw it out there like that. She needed to calm herself down and the alcohol would help with that. This wasn’t the end of the world but it did change things with her son. It changed who he was, it changed anger that she felt towards Chris. Maybe she could let it go. Maybe she could learn to not hate him. Renny could go by her last name. He could live a life full of empty thoughts about his father. She could lie to him.

She smirked for a moment and sighed before shaking her head. ”I don’t drink that heavy very often, and when I do I black out. So I am usually at home. I thought it was my ex that I had slept with. Gotta admit, feeling kinda shitty about that right now. “ She couldn’t tell him like that, but she knew that she was going to have to. Asking him up to her apartment was going to look bad, but she wasn’t against shagging him. She wasn’t against it, but the last time had not gone very well…

”Look there is something I need to talk to you about, about that night. Since you obviously had a clearer head than I. I live above the bar. Free booze as long as you listen to what I have to say.”