As Fresh as they come|| Open

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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2018 5:55:28 GMT -5

Fruit, for a long time Darius had barely given it a second thought. From a young age wand even when he had been at Hogwarts it had always been readily available to him. That was all it was to him. Sure, it was an alternative to junk food but the latter tasted a lot better. Now for him, it appeared to be a luxury. He didn’t have access to much food as it was, let alone fresh fruit. He just had to make do with what he could. Darius had learned to adapt but he would much rather being living his former life. It was much more pleasant. He had decided that once he was free of this rotten situation, he was not going to take his actual life for granted.

But today was not the day he was going to be able to do that. After working overnight in the mines, he had wanted nothing that to crash in his bed at Kolna but he had to take back some provisions with him. He was starving and was thankful no one could hear how much his stomach was rumbling. Darius had opted to come out to the little village because he wasn't in a mood to face people today. He knew he couldn’t ignore them altogether but at least he could put off seeing them, if he was lucky.

Darius was one to often shy away from people but he didn’t want to see anyone or speak to anyone. All he wanted was to get his food and to head to bed and sleep. He looked a poor state and his exhaustion was more visible since he had just come from working in the mines. The darkness was getting to him and it was almost as bad as the darkness that he felt.

Making his way into the shop he nodded at the cashier and headed straight for where the fruit was on display. He didn’t bother paying anyone else attention. No one else mattered to him. Sighing, he picked up some apples and wondered if he had enough money on him to get anything else.
 
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Post by Anthony Goldstein on Aug 16, 2018 14:34:14 GMT -5

As Fresh as the Come
There was really no point in cooking when there was nobody but himself there to eat it. It seemed like an eternity since Tamara had last been at home with him, ready to eat whatever he put before her. And he didn’t even know when she would be back. He had been often in an empty house when his daughter and wife — ex-wife — had been at Hogwarts, but it had always been clear that they would be back. Two years they had lived like that, until Tamara’s third year. Soon she’d start the fourth, and he could only hope that she was well. He had let Astoria take her, convinced that this would keep her safe. Five seconds after the door had closed behind the two, he hadn’t been that sure anymore. Was it right to trust Astoria? When she had remarried, that hadn’t exactly helped to believe that he had done the right thing. This had been about keeping Tamara safe. Supposedly. Tying herself to such a man hardly seemed like the reasonable step to do so.

It was too late now to go back. He had no other choice than to hope that his daughter was alright and that one day things would go back to normal and he could have her back. At least her. Where her mother was concerned… he felt like he was supposed not to want her back. At least his parents would think so, most of his family thought so. And they had a point. But. What kind of “but” he put against them, he didn’t even know himself. But there was one, be it that he didn’t want to separate Tamara from a mother who had only recently been able to give her the attention she needed or whether the reason was even more simple. And maybe embarrassing. He wouldn’t know, for he didn’t know whether he knew who he had been married to during all those years.

Being sent by his mother to get her vegetables for cooking was unusual, and he half suspected that it was her attempt at getting him out of his shell. He didn’t know why his parents seemed to think he needed any sort of special treatment, but he didn’t have it in him to assure them he was fine. Not when he was not that sure he wasn’t even sure he was. Then the sight of someone in front of him pulled him into the present. It wasn’t that hard to tell to what part of the population he belonged — with time they had started to all look the same. Not on the outside, but there was something in their expression that he found similar to all. “Hello. Do you need help?” he said, deciding there was no point in beating about the bush.


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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2018 16:23:10 GMT -5

For Darius life was rough but that was because he had chosen to face his reality and what he really was or at least what a sizeable chunk of the magical population saw him as. He was not to discriminate against anyone but he was the one facing discrimination and this was for something he could not help. He really wondered if the people who decided he was some foul individual realised that being magical was beyond his control. What would happen if every muggleborn found they had magical abilities at a young age and decided to simply ignore it. It wasn’t as if they were squibs born into a magical family and their family ignored and shunned them. It was not something that could be treated like that. Being able to do magic was more noticeable in the muggle world and if it continued to be ignored they could very well be sent to some kind of institution.

At least when it came to Kolna, that place was not anything that resembled that but it was still less than ideal. He had the task of trying to make his money stretch as much as possible. He was doing well enough so far. He had been used to spoiling himself and those around him thanks to his work as a DJ but now he was far from doing that. He was adjusting, Darius just kept reminding himself it wouldn’t be like this forever.

Darius never thought he could find such enjoyment from trying to get some fresh fruit for himself. He often found the same level of enjoyment in the more extravagant offerings of life. But he was learning to have more simple yearnings. If anything all this was teaching him to enjoy the simple things in life. When this was all over he wasn’t sure what he would be like. Right now it was just a waiting game for him.

So many people had lost their lives, and for what? So that muggleborns could be eradicated from society? For what? Were people so stupid that they didn’t see so many muggle things and methods had been adopted by society. Obviously that was the case.

Being out in the open like this really made Darius feel very vulnerable. He was still not used to it. Hopefully this would be a short trip out and then he could get back and crash for a few hours. Why had his cravings for fresh produce got to him so badly? But here was trying to satisfy them. He was still inspecting the apples when someone talking to him caught his attention making him freeze and put back the apple he held back on the pile. Why was this guy talking to him let alone offering to help him? Did he look out of his element or something? ”No….sorry” he shook his head before he moved away slowly to go and pay. Darius only had one apple, it would suffice for now, he supposed.

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Post by Anthony Goldstein on Sept 10, 2018 14:10:54 GMT -5

He hadn’t even seen Tamara since Astoria had left with her. When directly asked, he might not have admitted it, but nevertheless he had thought his wife — ex-wife — would write afterwards — would somehow keep in contact at least a bit. He had signed the divorce papers because he had told her he would do so, but even then he had not thought that it was final. At least not deep down. This was a divorce that was dictated by circumstances that neither of them had in control. And he had wanted to believe that Astoria — or whatever other name form was on the divorce paper — was sincere in what she told him. He had at first, but then both his own inner doubts began to churn as well as his parents open censuring of what she had done. They had never liked her much — they had tried to dissuade him from marrying her, but despite all his respects for his parents, they had to get married. She was pregnant, what kind of a man would he be if he could just leave a woman in such a state. Especially when she had almost nowhere else to go. And his parents might be suspicious that she was only using him, but it made no sense to him. There were so many other men that she could have turned to. Even if there had been selfish motives to her interest in him, it couldn’t be only that. He was hardly the obvious choice. There were so many other DA-members she could have just as easily approached and he’d have heard of that. The DA used to meet sporadically during the first few years after the battle thanks to Neville. So there had to be reasons other than the ones his family accused her off why she had… whatever she had… with him.

Or that was what he had believed, most likely wanted to believe when he had married her. They had both been so young. If he had ever thought about marrying, it hadn’t been anything he’d have expected before he was thirty. He hadn’t even completely admitted to himself by the time he had married her that he loved her. Even when she had started to flirt with him, he had thought it was just a joke or maybe experimenting on her side, so of course he didn’t want to grow to like her only to have his heart broken. With her background she’d never marry him. So he might have in all honesty been a little glad that her pregnancy let her no other choice but marrying him. Up until she signed the marriage papers, he had half expected her to change her mind again — he had even been unsure for a while whether it was even valid with how her name was spelled. But now she had changed her mind, either for the reasons she had stated or for those everybody else seemed to assume. By now he wasn’t sure anymore whether he really wanted to know.

Despite the separation, he spent as much time thinking about Astoria as ever. He should better turn his thoughts to his mother and her vegetables. Or even better, to just what was before him — someone who was too proud to accept help. Must be a Gryffindor. “As far as I heard, the Ministry doesn’t pay for whatever job they assigned you,” he replied. “But I don’t want to force myself upon you. If that apple is enough for you, then fine. If not… it might be better to admit it.”
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2018 2:28:12 GMT -5

It was both annoying and anxiety inducing for Darius to even do the most simplest of things. He could have gone out and bought food like a normal person had the whole muggleborn registration not been in place but this was his life and instead of working in nightclub he had now been in the mines for months. He had lost track of how long he had been doing this. His life was so full of routine that he hadn’t couldn’t even remember when he last saw someone he knew from his previous life. His mind drifted to Shaylee naturally. She had been the first person he had ever truly loved but he didn’t hold it against her for ending their relationship. Sometimes people just drifted apart. They were young also and that meant that they had no right to be tied to each other but he still wished the best for her. Shay deserved to go to university and to be able to do what she wanted. Darius only wanted her happy, it wasn’t a big ask. He had gone on and become a DJ and had enjoyed doing that and working at the Opium. He couldn’t even set foot in that place now. He would only be able to walk inside and that would be it. He couldn’t afford any drinks or snacks. He had very little money to his name now and he had to just go day to day with what he had.

Some years ago Darius had been able to afford anything he wanted and could get it he wanted but this was not the case now. Sure he had his muggle bank accounts but he was not about to go there in the few good-looking clothes he had and have people look down at him and think he should be sleeping in some halfway house. Darius was not about that. So what if he was proud but being submissive at the same time? It was just how he was and he did what he wanted with as much as he could. Darius tried to make the best of his situation. He had some money at least but he was not about to splurge on anything let alone food. They fed them at the mines, at least one meal during their shifts and he made sure he ate well each time. There was no knowing when he would next get to eat. He may as well seize the chance.

But he was dying for something fresh today. He reminded himself it was just fruit and this was something he never spent all that money on. Living by himself Darius didn’t have to think to much about food. He often used to grab something on the run but there were a few times he used to resort to cooking for himself at home. His food was far from anything they would serve at Chutne Jidlo but then again he was not going for that.

When he had stepped into the grocer, he hadn’t expected to speak to anyone except to make small talk with the cashier. That much he could have handled but nothing more. So someone trying to help him had a little apprehensive. What was he to do. ”Well, I do have some money” he explained. Was this bloke trying to insinuate he was about to steal? He was not going to do that. Sure he may have looked like crap but he was about to pilfer a few apples. ”Are you trying to help me? Why? You don’t even know me…..sorry, I don’t trust many people nowadays” he tried to explain as he sighed and put some of the apples into a plastic bag in preparation to pay for them shortly.
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Post by Anthony Goldstein on Oct 18, 2018 16:00:17 GMT -5

It didn’t much matter now whether his past decisions had been mistakes. The past was past, and nothing could be changed about it. As far as the matters he had consciously decided on, he couldn’t say they had been mistakes. Or if they had been mistakes, there still was nothing that could be changed about them. He had to make the decisions that he had made. Maybe he should regret what had happened because of reasons he didn’t know. But then, he couldn’t wish that these things hadn’t happened either. If Astoria hadn’t got pregnant out of the blue (not that blue, of course, but still, very blue), he wouldn’t have married her, would he? Her pregnancy had been the only reason why he had actually had the courage to suggest to her marrying, even then expecting her to say no. They were from two so different worlds that their relationship should not function. She was a Slytherin, a Death Eaters’ daughter, raised to be a blood supremacist. He on the other hand was the grandson of a woman who had defied the law by her relationship with a Muggle and had stood against Grindelwald — not to forget what had been going on simultaneously in the Muggle world. His background was about as different as it could be from hers. There was no common starting point. But Astoria had apparently wanted to marry him and not felt like there was any need to discuss matters. And he didn’t want to approach her with subjects that might pain her.

And there didn’t seem to be a need to talk about their differences. Things seemed to be… okay. There was their son, and when he looked at him, he felt like they needed nothing else in common as long as there was this perfect human being. But he was no more. Tamara had soon afterwards needed his attention, and Astoria had fallen apart. It had been the last of situation in which it would have been fitting to discuss their background — not when she had hardly the will to live. He could only try to support her and give Tamara a bit of normality when her own mother could hardly look at her. As much as possible, he thought he had done all that was possible and Tamara didn’t blame him for anything. Now though maybe she did. He didn’t know how to respond to her letters. Her mother had married a sort of person that he simply hated the idea that his daughter would be near to, not out of jealousy — weirdly enough he was not at all jealous… maybe because it was a simply absurd idea that anyone could actually love Theodore Nott? — but because the man was simply dangerous. But as far as he knew, Astoria hardly spent time at that man’s house and Tamara none at all. But still, he had no idea whether Tamara was in any danger. He did trust (no matter how often his sister wrote to him that it was delusional) Astoria to do everything for their daughter’s safety, but he still worried that he’d endanger her by being too much a part of her life. And in the end, he also worried that keeping their contact to a minimum might harm her more than anything else.

So, other people’s problems. Yes, there were still other people in this world and they were worse off by far than he. It was not as terrifying as last time when they either killed, imprisoned, or reduced their victims to beggars, but it was still horrible. Twenty years ago, he and his friends had fought at Hogwarts for freedom and now this. “That’s understandable,” he replied. “Why you should trust me? Because it’s not really going to harm you if you do. The worst that can happen is that the clerk won’t sell the goods.” That might not have been the best way to put things. It wasn’t always the best to be direct, just the easiest — unless Astoria was concerned.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2018 6:10:02 GMT -5

Darius often argued with himself that this was temporary but he had been at it for so long that it appeared that it was hardly temporary. Sure there had been groups of people who had suffered at the hands of others for longer but Darius felt like this had just gone on for so long. He wasn’t sure if there was any end in sight for them. Yes, things had relaxed a little but that didn’t mean he was going to be able to regain his old life again. He missed it, he had once had the freedom to go anywhere he wanted as well as having financial freedom and he hoped he would have that level of freedom again. So many bad people were walking the streets freely with that kind of freedom and here he was. Darius had not had a perfect life but he had never wronged anyone, his only crime (if you could call it that) was that he had been born with what was the wrong blood. When he had first started at Hogwarts, he had been excited to be there then had come the name-calling and for the most part, he had dealt with it. He had had Shaylee with him to remind him he was not a mudblood and that he did, in fact, belong in the magical world.

When Darius had graduated, he had really found his place in creating and writing music. While it wasn’t exactly magical, he still made his presence felt in the world by working a magical club and even looking into spells that would assist him in music creation. While he had no longer had Shay in his life during this time, she had never been far from his mind. He had always wondered where she was and what she was up to and more importantly if she was happy. When the registration decree had come down from the ministry, he had begun to think of her again. Darius didn’t even know where she was, if she was even in the country still since she had left to travel.

She deserved to be happy doing what she wanted as did he with creating his music. But now he had a different life. One which offered him no chance to be happy. He worked in the mines and he didn’t have much contact with people so Darius was a little shaky when it came to talking to people. If he did question people’s intentions, it was purely because he had to be sure that people were being genuine. He knew that only a select few really looked down on him but just couldn’t tell who was nice and who was despising him. Darius looked to the clerk at the other guy spoke to him. Why wouldn’t he be served? He had the means to pay for his fruit and did he look so bad that a cashier would refuse to serve him? ”What do you mean there is no harm in letting you help me?” he questioned wondering just who on Earth this guy was and why was he trying to help him. ”Are you another muggleborn?” Darius asked, he looked much better dressed so the answer was likely to be negative.
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Post by Anthony Goldstein on Nov 26, 2018 16:44:40 GMT -5

Somehow, things had never gone in his life as he had planned. Or even as he had expected. He hadn’t ever really had much time to come up with major plans. Life had kept dictating him a course, and he had done as he felt was his duty. But though he had always adapted to the best of his abilities, still things wouldn’t proceed as expected. Nothing had ever played out as he thought that it would — or even should. Students shouldn’t have to form secret organization against the state — or fight in a battle as if it were a final. Teenagers shouldn’t have to watch each other die by curses — even less attempt to cast deadly curses themselves. Teenagers shouldn’t become mothers and lose their child less than three years later. A child shouldn’t grow up with a mother that couldn’t look at her. Decisions shouldn’t be made for a thirteen-year-old either without asking her.

He hadn’t meant to hurt Tamara when he had agreed to the divorce and her living with her mother. In all honesty, it hadn’t occurred to him that she should have a say in the matter. It had afterwards of course. He should have asked, not let Astoria deal with her. He had thought he did what was best for her. Maybe — probably, why should he not believe that her mother wanted her best? — this was the best. But the way Tamara had been treated in the process had been wrong. He had been… less hurt than… shocked, maybe even horrified, when Astoria had told him they needed to divorce. But he had believed her, had considered her arguments sound, and agreed to what she had proposed. And while he couldn’t fault himself for having trusted her, not when he still trusted her — most of the time, but he had too much free time to think — he should have asked her to give him some time to think things over. She would have understood, of course she would have. She was a Slytherin, she wouldn’t follow her first best impulse. Thinking things through thoroughly would have appeared natural to her. And they both should have included Tamara in the discussion. She was old enough for this. She had been lucky enough to grow up-

He couldn’t think about this. Thankfully, he had something else to think about for once. There was a Muggleborn, and it was only natural to offer all the help he could give. Anyone he knew would do that… apart maybe from Astoria… he hated when he suddenly realised that he couldn’t tell for sure how the woman he had spent over fifteen years of his life with — had loved all this time and to this day — would react in a situation. He was supposed to know that. But never mind. It wasn’t what he should be thinking about now. “What I said,” he replied. “That if you need help, you can say so, and if I can help, all the better, if I can’t, you’re not the worse for it.” Probably still not the best way to talk to a person who might very well be traumatized. He should think about a continuing education programme in psychology, maybe that’d help. “No, I’m not,” he said. “But I was at Hogwarts in nineteen ninety-seven and -eight. I knew enough Muggleborns who missed that year, and I don’t like to see history repeat itself.”
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2018 8:18:51 GMT -5

Being labelled for something he wasn’t didn’t sit well with Darius. He was no mudblood, he had felt that way for so long even when he had been at school and had heart that name numerous times. He was not perfect, that was true, he had many faults and had made many mistakes, more than could be counted. But here was labelled for something he wasn’t. Yes, he had had his older brother with him when he had entered the magical world all those years ago but now he was here on his own so to speak. Darius was fine with that as he knew it better that Nate look after himself and his own affairs. It was like everyone had to fend for themselves was the best way to go. Darius was all to aware of that.

For Darius, the hardest part of all the things he faced was where his next meal would come from. He had for be careful with food. That was something he never had to worry about when had been a DJ and had been working in America or in Canada. But it was what he had to be concerned about now. Most days he got by but some days he struggled. He never wanted to let anyone know he was having a hard time but at times he was too obvious and he couldn’t get away with pretending like all was okay. There were limits to it all. Darius was not a proud person but he was sure that he didn’t need help. He didn’t want to impicliate anyone else in his situation. As noble as that was, it was not one he should be putting himself into volutarily. Darius knew this but he was stubborn at times. While he was far from being alone in all this, because there were many muggleborns out there in his situation, he knew had was able to reach out if he needed to.

He was here at the grocer to hopefully pick up whatever provisions he could. But he had very little money on him and this other person had made mention of the possibility of him not being served. Darius wanted, did that make his apperance very obvious. It must do if the other bloke had picked up on. Darius looked the other man up and down before looking around the shop, his gaze lingering on the cashier before looking back to the man. ”I hope this isn’t some trick,,,” he felt he had every right to question it as in the magical world, you could never be too sure who you were dealing with. Darius may not have been at Hogwarts during the time period that the other man mentioned but he knew what happened during those years. ”I see….that was a hard time….who are you?” he said as he put the fruit back on the display slowly and brushed off his hands on each other and he put them into his pockets biting his lip.
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Post by Anthony Goldstein on Feb 24, 2019 16:05:15 GMT -5

Fifteen years ago, it would have been easy. At least that was how it felt like nowadays, no matter how well he knew that things never seemed easy while they were happening. Also, what he’d have thought as a twenty-something hardy mattered after all this time. It was no longer of interest. Or it shouldn’t be, he wasn’t always sure what was the case. There certainly were times when he wished that he had never met Astoria after finishing school — if surviving certain death a dozen times in a few hours could count as finishing school. That should have been the worst experience he’d ever make. And in a sense it was. At the same time though, it was also one that was easy to lock away. To abstract. What had happened during the Battle of Hogwarts, it had been so far beyond the ordinary, so out of the ordinary, that it could easily appear like a dream — a nightmare. It would be too much to say he was traumatized, not after all those years and talking about these events over and over again and coming to terms with them, but no therapy in the world could wipe out the memory of friends dying while he could do nothing. Every single opportunity to take another breath was a gift when Killing Curses were raining down on you.

Looking back, he had no idea how he or anyone had survived. It was almost as if a completely different person had been there fighting, one that he could observe from afar, detached from who he was now. Someone who lived in a simple world — a harsh and cruel world for certain, but one in which it was clear which course of action was right and which wasn’t. His present self on the other hand did nothing but rethink his decisions again and again. Or at least this happened with every decision he made concerning Astoria. And Tamara as a consequence. Though the girl wouldn’t even exist if he had had a brain (according to his sister’s choice of words). He couldn’t really wish for her not to be. And the more he thought about his decisions that had led him to this point, he couldn’t say that they had been right, but at the same time, how could he have made another one?

As abhorrent as it was, the political situation was at least one where it was easy to see how fundamentally wrong it was. It was all the same as it had been during You-Kno- Voldemort’s reign. And that made it all feel just as oddly detached from his as the battle. There may be Death Eaters in charge, persecuting the innocent, but it didn’t feel like it was happening to him. It was of course still happening and he knew he had to do what he could to oppose. But it wasn’t making him question anything, didn’t make him doubt everything that had happened during the last years, not like Ast- “My name’s Anthony Goldstein,” he said, introducing himself. “I’m just a Healer.” It wasn’t often that people were intimidated by him, and, combined with him being as little skilled at socializing as he was, it was an uncomfortable feeling