I went as far as I could

I tried to find a new face

There isn't one of these lines that I would erase
I lived a million miles of memories on that road

The boys had had fun this afternoon, and Andromeda thought that it was good that Davina had the things that she had found in the attic. Not everything, of course. Some of it she had selfishly kept for herself. The things that she had seen Blair use frequently. The journals that she had kept. Andromeda had gone through the box of things left from the other witch’s vanity with scrutiny. She had been the one that had packed them away. Yelled at the elves, in fact, to put it back the way that they had found it. That she would do it herself. But none of it had had the meaning then that it held for her now.

Trying to make sense of the turns that her life had taken took her back through all of the things in this attic. And it was crazy to her, to think that everything in here had once belonged to a woman that was in the same position that she was in now. The woman that had been the Lady of this castle. They were all connected, they were all the same in this small way. But it was the connections to each of them that she found were profoundly different, in herself.

There was the connection to Blair that she could not deny. The evidence of it in her every breath. In every beat of her heart. She was connected to her in ways that she never would have even imagined. They shared a son. They had shared a husband. They shared a life. They shared a magic that couldn’t be explained, and she could never change that. She could never replace that. Everything about herself, she owed to that witch. She owed to the woman that she had loved in a way that she couldn’t explain. She hadn’t been in love with her, but she did love her.

And then there was Bella. Her elder sister had been the Lady of this castle for a long time. Since they were children, practically. And Andromeda was supposed to have followed her here then. Not in the way that she had ended up following. That would have caused quite the scandal. To have married the younger brother, and then fallen into bed with the elder… But she didn’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t gone to London that day. If she never would have seen Ted Tonks, would everything have been different? Would her whole life have played out differently?

Of course, it would have… Everything would have been different. But there was no going back and going back was the last thing that she wanted to do. She didn’t want to erase what had happened to her, or the life that she had lived. She was just trying to navigate this one. And she was trying to do it while being a mother, and while leading five countries through a national crisis. She was trying… But most of the time she didn’t know what she was doing.

Andromeda had to wonder if that was how her mother-in-law had felt, when she had been Lady of this castle… She knew that Calisto had been young, younger even than she had been when she had had Dora. And she had died, having Rabastan. The same way that Andromeda had slipped away from them having Arcturus. The difference was that there had been no one to pull her back. She had been lost to them, and the boys, the big boys of this castle, had grown up without a mother. She would never do that to her children.

She had been saved, and she was not going to leave them again. She was perfect. She was healthy. She felt better than she could have imagined feeling. And part of her wondered, at times, just how much of that was her, and just how much of that was the life that Blair had given her? Was she her? Did she have her years? Or Blair’s? Did she have both? Andromeda couldn’t answer her own questions…

But it wasn’t Blair’s things that had her attention right now anyway. It was the trunk of Calisto’s things that she had finally opened. It had felt… Almost intrusive. To open it. But she after she had finished with the trunk of Blair’s things this afternoon, and Bella’s this evening, she had moved on to this one. She was on her knees, surrounded by the trinkets, and the parcels that she had carefully removed and organized around herself so she would know where to return them. The letter in her hand was very old, and part of it was missing, but it was fascinating, to find an entire life, packed away up here…

Rabastan Ashmedai Lestrange • 794 • andromeda's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

It doesn't matter

where you are It doesn't matter where you go

If it's a million miles away or just a mile up the road

She was on his mind. But when was that not the case? Rabastan had looked for a distraction, for something else to occupy his thoughts. He had been to the Coffin Shop. But that had been unable to hold his interest since losing his magic. He could mentor necromancers. He could share his knowledge, but it wasn't the same. He had always been more engaged in the practical side of necromancy. He couldn't do that now--and so he had little interest in tending to his business. The employees did well enough to keep the place taken care of. The necromantic market in the UK wasn't huge to begin with--it wasn't like the Coffin Shop had ever been raking in the Galleons.

He usually would have thrown himself into work at the Foundation...but it was Saturday. He'd stayed late the night before. There was little for him to do today. He had reports due to him for review on Monday...and surely some of the researchers would be in today using the quiet weekend hours to get some work done. He wouldn't go disturb them. He filled his day to the best of his ability, but as the sun set and the night's darkness crept over Great Britain, he lost the battle with himself. 

He couldn't go back to the castle and not give into his heart's desire. There were others he could call for a night cap, but it was her company he wanted. She was who he wanted to talk to. She was who captivated him. The nursery was his first destination when he made it back to the Lestrange Castle. The boys were there, but Andromeda wasn't. They were in bed, and he was sure they were supposed to be sleeping. But they weren't. Not when the sliver of light filtered in and Arcturus saw that him there--the little boy's call of 'Uncle Basan' woke his brother, as well. He didn't let them get out of bed, but he did give into the plea for a bedtime story. He had not gotten even halfway through The Warlock's Hairy Heart before both of the children were sleeping soundly once more.

The wizard took ginger steps out of the nursery. He poked his head into Andromeda's study, but found it empty as well. Faye was in there, though, doing a bit of cleaning. The elf directed him up to the attic. Rabastan's surprise and confusion at Andromeda being up there showed on his face, but Faye did not seem to notice--or if she did, she did not judge it to be her place to say anything further. 

Rab climbed up the stairs with anticipation building in his heart. Just knowing he was going to see Andromeda soon made him feel things that a man should never feel for his brother's wife. But their situation was a complicated one--it wasn't just as simple or as clean as the labels might have made it seem. She was his betrothed. She had been promised to him...and now, he knew--he knew why  she had gone, why she had run away. It had never been to escape him. It had been to save herself from the horrors that Blackmoor held for the Black sisters. Cygnus had cost him the life he deserved. The stupid son of a bitch had driven away the woman Rabastan could have loved all his life--who he could have built a life and family with. He would never forgive the wizard for that. 

He found Andromeda sitting on the floor. Old, forgotten possession were scattered around her. Rabastan watched her for a moment. She was reading. Her hair was up, showing off the smooth curve of her neck. Her dress swept and draped around her. She was beautiful. His breath caught in his throat. Words were difficult to summon. His mouth opened and closed before he stepped closer to her. A warm smile upturned his lips and his eyes shone with affection. It was obvious his attachment. 

"Andromeda-" he breathed out her name, the gently spoken moniker easily heard in the still silence of the attic. Rabastan did not want to startle her. He was curious, though--and so he asked: "What are you doing up here?" He looked around the space. There were things up here he knew belonged to Bellatrix and his mother and all the other Lady Lestranges...which meant there was probably stuff that belonged to Blair, too. It made sense for Meda to be looking for Blair's things, since they'd figured out that Blair's unique healing mastery had been passed on to Andromeda. Perhaps she had found some answers or insights. His eyes were bright with curiosity at that thought. He was most impressed by the magic that Andromeda had manifested. He had so many questions about it...and he knew she did, too. Had she found some answers up here?

@ I was looking for you  • 829 • outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

I went as far as I could

I tried to find a new face

There isn't one of these lines that I would erase
I lived a million miles of memories on that road

Her attention was so caught up in the life that played out around her. Andromeda thought that there were many lives tucked away up here. Lives that had been forgotten. Lives that she didn’t have any interest in. She knew that she was interested in Blair’s life. In the life that her sister had lived here in this place. She wanted to know them. She wanted to know both of them, better than she had when they were alive. Better than she could have dreamed when it came to Bella. And better than she had gotten the chance to when it came to Blair.

Calisto had died before she had even been born. Rabastan was nearly ten months to the day older than she was. So really, she had died before Andromeda had even been conceived. She had had no chance of knowing her, but she would have liked to. The Gamp witch had been young, and beautiful, and she had been stolen away from her sons. She had been ripped away from the world, before she had even gotten a chance to appreciate the people that her children had had the potential to become.

And instead their father had gotten ahold of them. Or at least, he had gotten ahold of Rodolphus. He had turned him into the man that he was now, and she didn’t know what to think about that. Her father-in-law had died when they had been teenagers. Rodolphus had already been the Lord when he had come across her in Knockturn Alley that night. And she had barely been nineteen. Not yet married a year… And she had gone with him. She had let him buy her dinner. And she had let him take her to that hotel room. And she hadn’t cared. She had let him take whatever he wanted from her that first night, because at least a Lestrange was a little more like home.

Only it hadn’t been just the one night. It had been the rest of her life. And now she was Lady of this castle. A place that her sister had held. A place that Blair had held. And a position that Andromeda was no longer sure that she wanted. She spent more time in the nursery than she did anywhere else. And sleeping in their bedroom had already seemed out of character for her. She didn’t want to be there. She wanted to be with her boys. She wanted to be happy.

That seemed like a foreign concept too. Actually, being happy. But maybe that was truly the curse of this castle. Maybe that was why the Ladies had a tendency to die here. Bella hadn’t actually died here, but she had been Lady of this Castle when she had died. Blair though… And Calisto… They had died here. She had died here. Andromeda hadn’t been Lady of the Castle when she had died downstairs, but there was no question that she had slipped away from them. This castle killed the witches that called it home. And all of their things ended up packed away up here.

At least, it had all been packed away until she had started unpacking it. Until she was sure that she was surrounded entirely by things that were not her own. She had hesitated, in opening her mother-in-law’s things. But she had wanted to know her. She wanted to know her as Rabastan knew her. She wanted to know her from her memories, and from her possessions. She wanted to see what she could learn about the witch that had brought the men in her life, into this world. She wanted to know any part of her that she could. To see if she could find any bit of her in the two of them. Or in her grandsons…

The creak of the floorboard, and the whisper of her name had her turning over her shoulder. Andromeda hadn’t realized that he was there. He moved so quietly sometimes that it was rather like living with a ghost. But he was there nonetheless, and she offered a flash of a smile. A small one, just the corners of her lips turned up before she looked away and wiped her eyes as discreetly as possible. She was looking through his mother’s things, and now that he was here, she felt like she was intruding even more. Blair’s things were a little different. Bella’s were hers by rights. But his mother’s?

“Hi…” She cleared her face of traces of emotion and turned back around as she stood. Her dress swirling out around her in a graceful bell as she spun to her feet slowly. “I was looking through some of the trunks that the elves put up here… Bella’s things. And Blair’s journals, mainly. And…” Her hand gestured to the things that were scattered around her in an arc, “These are your mother’s things…”

@ please don't be angry • 819 • andromeda's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0