Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2019 22:54:43 GMT -5
My heart is weak
'Tear it down piece by piece
Leave me to think
Deep in my structure
I think I still love her
But I need some sleep
Leave me to think
Deep in my structure
I think I still love her
But I need some sleep
They had known that this would happen. It had been weeks and weeks since the plan had changed, and they knew exactly what to expect. But how can someone brace for a heartache? The long and the short of it was that they couldn't. The plan had changed, but his feelings for her had not. And for weeks he had spent every day admiring his beautiful wife, the two heirs that she had given his family, and felt his stomach twist like a snake coiling against it's prey.
This was for the best. As much as it hurt to say and know that, it was. She was going to serve a purpose in Russia. She could carry on another line and fulfill her pureblood duties and he would just..... He would stay here. Forever. Continuing his schooling, continue learning from her father the way he had been for over half of a decade. His life would move on. Right now his only goal was to move forward. Through the ache and the sting of it he would. He would, and he would be OK.
Loving Bailey had never been part of the plan. He wanted to scold himself for ever doing it in the first place instead of keeping a clean and sound mind on the matter...but he knew it was never a choice. A million times over his heart would have chosen her without his consent and a million times over he would have let it do so. Even now as every beat ripped through his chest he did not regret the time he had with her. Dwelling on it was a surefire way to make matters worse, but his mind tended to drift when not kept busy. Phief was determined to make sure he kept it as busy as possible.
Extra practice drills on the quidditch pitch helped. He had even begun taking secondhand magical combat lessons from Alek in the week that Bailey had been gone. Anything that could keep his mind and focus trained was his goal. Today it was Alchemy. Something he enjoyed, something he was relatively good at, and would keep his mind from the fact that it had been exactly one week since he had lost...everything.
The dread of this day had kept him awake most of the night. No surprise, really. He had hardly slept a wink in the days since she had left but he was lucky. He still had magic and the means of making himself look as if nothing were wrong. If he had lost his magic, and the ability to make wakefulness potions, he would have likely brought a great deal of attention to himself. At least this way he was only a mess on the inside. He felt it too as he consciously kept himself from trudging through the Scamander Center.
He was early to class. Exceptionally early, one might even say, as the classroom was entirely empty and darkened. Once he entered the place brightened and he slung his things onto the working desk where he typically sat during class. Finals were nearing and he hoped that he could study or....slowly die at his desk. One of the two. Phief sat at the desk in a much more composed manor than he had placed his things and went about getting his books and materials at the ready.
For a while he read along in the deafening silence that was the Alchemy Classroom. And it was horrible. It did absolutely nothing to silence his mind. When he heard the sound of footsteps he had actually been grateful, for the first time in his life, for the possibility of having company. His head turned toward the noise, spotting the familiar witch as she entered. "
Good morning," he greeted in an attempt at sounding lighter than he felt.
@vivien | Outfit: minus drink, phone, & shades
Notes: woooowww this post is blah haha IM SORRY, DON'T HATE ME
Notes: woooowww this post is blah haha IM SORRY, DON'T HATE ME
MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0
