Female

@tamara | Outfit

Having the time to actually work out, and knowing that it was part of her job was something that Jac wasn't going to take for granted. She knew that training the way that she did was the one thing that had gotten her back in shape so fast after River had been born. Now her baby was two and a half and she thought that she was more than glad to have her body back to herself. When she had left England to start out with, she didn't think that she was going to have the life that she had now. She had made mistakes, and she knew that she didn't have answers to all of the questions that her brother was sure to have once she finally told him the truth. If she told him the truth. That was still a big if. Because Hannah Copeland hadn't come home. Jacqueline Lindsay had moved to London. And the two were not the same things. Jacqueline Lindsay was from Melbourne. She sounded like she was from Melbourne, she knew the city in and out. There was nothing that really tripped her up anymore, and that was something that she thought was kind of amazing considering that there were plenty of things to trip her up around here. 

Coming back to England was almost a test of sorts. She knew that every time that she went out without makeup, she was taking a chance that someone was going to recognize her. There were only so many altercations that you could make before you really stopped looking like you, and Jac wasn't convinced that she wanted to go that far to hide from her past. She still had the chin and the forehead that she had been born with. Her nose was different. Her cheekbones were a little altered, but the eyes... The eyes were the same, and she had made sure that she hadn't held Samuel's gaze for longer than absolutely necessary before. She hadn't wanted to have a problem. She had just wanted things to work out, and she wanted River to be safe. That was the biggest thing. She wanted her daughter to be safe, and taken care of. Because Ethan wasn't here, and he hadn't been. She had been doing this on her own for a long time now, and keeping the media attention away from her daughter was the key. She was married, if anyone wanted to dig too far into it. She wasn't technically a single mother, even if she didn't think that River even remembered what Ethan looked like at this point. It wasn't as if he had bothered to come to either of her birthdays thus far. Though he had sent gifts. 

It was better than nothing she supposed, but she knew that it wasn't going to be enough forever, and that they needed to just get around to signing the divorce papers. They had had them drawn up, they had just never bothered to sign them, and then he had left, and they were still married. Jac didn't know if he took being married just as seriously still as she did. Though something told her that the answer to that question was probably not. She probably should have just let him go, she should have been living her life, and not worrying about him, when clearly he wasn't all that interested in them. They had been so good, they had been good for two years. And then River had been born, and things had changed. A baby hadn't been a part of the plan, but she had thought that they were happily married, and she didn't know what the problem had really been. Something though. There had obviously been a problem somewhere... Dropping her duffel on the floor at her feet Jac looked up at the menu that was behind the counter. "Can I get the pineapple guava, but then add some acai berry to it?" She knew that it wasn't on the menu, but she thought that it sounded delicious, and was as close as she was going to get to what she had drank in Australia. The kid behind the counter nodded, and Jac looked over at the stools that were along the counter, slipping into the one closest to her, next to a brunette that looked vaguely familiar. Someone that she might have known in a past life almost. She nodded to the smoothie in front of her, "Strawberry?" 

FEMALE

OUTFIT

This was something that she never had expected--something that she couldn't have seen coming. Jack was dead. It was something that had been a fact for her, for years. He was gone. Every time he had left to go fight Muggle battles, which already was something that was difficult for her to understand, Tamara had known there was a chance that he wasn't going to come home. One day, that had become a reality, and it had changed everything. It had been the straw that broke the camel's back, and everything had gone downhill from there. Tamara had tried to hold it all together, she really had, but there had been only so much that she could do. She wasn't healthy enough to stop the rapid decline… she wasn't sleeping enough to keep her job, and then didn't have enough money to keep their house. It had gotten worse and worse, until she had hit what she had known to be rock bottom. That had been when she'd been homeless, when she'd had no money and nowhere to go. That had been the moment where she had known she couldn't fall any farther, and she hadn't known what to do.

But she had picked herself back up. She had kept going. Granted, it wasn't in a way that she was all that proud of now. It had just been necessary. When a one-night stand had left money on the dresser, thinking that he'd paid for it… she had been embarrassed. That wasn't what she had intended. She had just been drinking, and had needed to forget for a little while. She had needed to be with someone like that, so that she could feel something. He had just thought that the girl at the bar wasn't giving him anything for free. It had been embarrassing, but it had also been money. And it had been the start of her picking herself back up and trying to get her life together… even if it wasn't a life that she had expected. Even if it wasn't the life that she thought that she was going to have. It was still something--it was enough to get her an apartment, until she had met Mellie. Then she had been able to stay at Fleur de Lis, and that had been even better. A free place to stay meant that she could save money, and spend what she wanted on… whatever she wanted. It had worked out all right for her. She wasn't ashamed of what she did.

She got by. And she enjoyed the simple pleasures in life. Tamara had known that it was never going to be any more than that--it couldn't be. With Jack, her chance of real happiness was gone, so she would take what she could get. Being at Fleur de Lis hadn't been bad. She had grown accustomed to it. The other girls there were nice enough. She didn't really get close to all that many of them, but still… they had been nice. It had been her life--not perfect, not anywhere close, but it wasn't bad. At least, not until she had seen Jack standing there and she realized that her husband was alive. After years of thinking that he was dead, he was… right there. Alive. Tamara had thought that she had to be hallucinating, that someone slipped something in her drink or… something, but he was real. He had been there. And now, somehow, they were trying to work all of this out. That was probably what she considered to be the most unbelievable.

After all she had done, she didn't know how he could possibly want to be with her anymore. She didn't know how he could even stand to look at her, or sleep next to her night after night, knowing where she had been… or not even knowing exactly, because that was a long list of men and women that she didn't have the real names of. If he wanted details, if that would make him feel better, then she'd tell him whatever he wanted to know, but she was afraid of that too. Afraid of what he would think, what he would say. He hadn't judged her yet, not out loud anyhow, and she didn't want to lose him. Not when she somehow had him back, after all of this time. She had tried to adjust to having a normal life. She knew that she needed to get healthy and get a real job, but she was working on it. It wasn't exactly easy when she still was getting pretty much no sleep. Today, she'd made the decision to try to work out… which had been a mistake, with how exhausted she was. After the failed attempts, she'd headed over to the smoothie bar and had taken a seat at one of the stools. She supposed she'd tried, which was something. Tamara glanced over at the woman who spoke to her, smiling slightly. "Keeping it a little simple, I guess… half of those flavors don't even sound like fruit." She didn't even know what an acai berry was, if she was being completely honest, but she was hardly a smoothie aficionado. She wasn't sure she'd even had a smoothie in years.

There were things about her that she had changed. There were things about her that she couldn't change, and when she had become Jacqueline, Hannah had had to decide what fell into each category. She had had to decide what it was that she was going to be okay with losing, to keep herself hidden. What she would lose to keep herself safe. Hiding in plain sight. And then she had done something crazy, like become a professional athlete. It was a little more difficult to keep herself hidden when there were thousands of people that knew her name. It wasn't what she had expected at all. Hannah Copeland had left England to get away from everything that was here. From her brother, from her father. To try and not hurt her mother as badly all of the time. She had run from all of that. But the young blonde girl that had left wasn't going to be coming back. She was gone. Hannah Copeland was gone. Jacqueline Lindsay had come back to England in her place, and she thought that there were definitely pieces of them that were the same… But it was what they looked like, and what they had done with their lives, that set them apart.

At least, for the most part. She was a professional Quidditch player now. One that had been born and raised in Melbourne. That had gone to school in Australia. She had married an Australian healer. They had had a little girl. She had built an entire life, being Jacqueline Samuels. Jacqueline Lindsay. It wasn't something that she was going to give up now. She was going to be Jac for the rest of her life. She was going to keep that identity. The one that wasn't likely to get anyone else around her hurt. She had never told Ethan the truth. She didn't know if she could bring herself to tell Samuel, or their mother. She didn't know. She didn't know a lot of things. What she did know, was that she was a Wasp now. What she did know was that working out was part of her daily routine. What she did know was that they were actually paying her to be here pretty much. Coming back and playing in England was something that she never would have imagined for herself. She was convinced that she was going to fall on her face here. That her changed identity was going to come back to haunt her.

But she couldn't do anything about it until that happened. She couldn't do anything about the fact that she was just going to have to figure out who she was, and who she was going to be. They were her family, but whether or not they were going to accept who she was now… that she didn't know. She didn't even know if and when she was going to be brave enough to fessing up that she was in England. There was a reason that she had come back though. Their mother. She was muggleborn, and with everything that was going on, she had wanted to know what it was that they were doing and just how it was that he was protecting her. Because if there was one thing that Jacqueline thought that she would always know about her brother, it was that no matter what Samuel was going to protect the people that he cared about.

Jacqueline thought that she didn't qualify anymore. She wasn't his sister. She was, but she wasn't, and whether or not he would accept that, she didn't know. She was home now though, and it was only going to be a matter of time before she ran into him again. It wasn't like London was all that big after all, and she did know that he was working at the University. She had tracked him down when she had gotten here. Just enough to make sure that she knew more about him than he did about her. Knowledge was power, after all. It was the one thing that had had Hannah almost sorted into Ravenclaw instead of Gryffindor. Though that never would have fit in the end. She had much more of a fighter's heart than a scholar's. The brunette witch chuckled a little bit as the woman next to her spoke. "I suppose that's true. Strawberry and banana are classics. You can't seem to go wrong." She didn't actually know how to talk to a stranger that she thought that she recognized. It was something that she thought that she was going to have to learn. "I'm Jac."