What did normal kids do when they were her age? She tried to remember what she had been doing in Hogwarts, but she couldn't remember it. Not now. Besides, the time tables for her year were completely different this year, so she wasn't entirely sure. She didn't even get a chance to figure it out, not this year, and likely not ever again. It was a pity, really. She was still young. She knew that because everyone pointed it out, not for any other reason. She thought that she could try to be normal at Kolna, but she had been wrong. She didn't get a chance to read, she didn't get a chance to learn... She could only work, and then she could sleep. There were few other students her age involved, and then they didn't really want to talk. She was one of the younger ones, and she didn't really know why. Maybe there were more kids who were younger than her... And that was scary. That was terrifying, really. Because she was young. She was little. What happened to the kids who were younger than her? Who were definitely showing magic? They were probably suffering, or they would be suffering... And they wouldn't know what was normal, and what wasn't. Were they going to get their letters? She could see that happening.

Olive knew that this wasn't normal. She knew that normal kids didn't get Hogwarts letters, go to school, and then get snatched away from school because they decided that Muggleborns were bad. That wasn't normal. Nothing about this situation was normal. She wondered what she would be doing, if she had been born normal. If she was a normal witch she might have been in the library with Berry, regardless of the time. She would be with Berry, and everything would have made sense. But she wasn't. She was on a boat, and she was in trouble, but things would get better. Things had to get better, at some point. She wouldn't ever go back to Hogwarts, she knew that, but things were going to get... normal. Next to normal. Close. And this was her fault, this getting in trouble, which she understood. It was on her. She had been the one to start this because she had been looking for something to get better, and she had wanted to stay. She knew that wasn't normal, wanting to stay with your kidnappers. It was just better on the boat than it was anywhere else. She was holding onto that thought, holding so tightly that she didn't want to get rid of the knife in her hand. She got it, really. She understood the anger and the sadness and the doneness, but she wanted things to finally be normal.

"Okay," she said, looking down at her feet. He wouldn't tell her, she had to ask herself. That was fine. She could muster up the courage for that, she could try to be a bit more brave than she normally was. But she didn't think that it was going to go well, at least not for a bit, because she knew that Kirk was going to be mad at her. He had to be. This person was, and that meant that Kirk would be, and so would the others on board. They were mad, and they were going to yell at her. Yelling was fine. Yelling was always going to be fine. Olive would deal with the yelling, and she would try to be better. Because she deserved the yelling, didn't she? She was a stupid muggleborn, so she deserved the yelling. She was stupid and she made mistakes, and that was her fault. There was no other way for her to change, was there? She had to be lectured. It was the only thing that made sense. So she would suck it up. She would ask them why, and she would listen when they yelled at her. "Who are you on the ship?" She didn't think she was allowed to ask. It sounded like he didn't care for questions, but the words were already out of her mouth.

She had to keep the knife, there was no other thought in her mind. She had to keep the knife. She had to save it, she had to keep herself safe. She didn't have anything else. It wasn't hers, but she didn't have anything that was hers. She had wanted the knife to be. "From everything. If you get Kirk to kick me off, I'll need it." Olive hated that. She hated how she was really only passing through, how she probably was going to be dropped off somewhere. And it wasn't fair. She couldn't do anything about it because of her age, her lack of magic, and her inability to just... do anything right. "I'll give it to you, and then I'll apologize on my own." It wasn't one of the options, but she didn't really care for any of the three. She didn't want to go with him. He was frightening, and he would yell. She couldn't throw it away, either, since it wasn't hers. So she would do it on her own. "What did you teach?" Well, at least she knew that he just didn't like her on principle, and it had nothing to do with her blood status. That was almost easier to deal with. 

Oriel would need to go back to the island after this, maybe tomorrow or the day after, if they were good days. Just lay in the sun and breathe and be warm. Calm. Not numb, like he usually was, not manic like he could be when he got too immersed in an experiment. Calm and at peace, like he was when Kirk was around, when he was holding him or touching him. It was quite something, that of the many things he'd thought he needed a pirate captain to spoil him with silks and jewels had not been one of them. He'd thought he needed to go back to his old life, sometimes, but that was as big a mistake as he could make. What was his old life? Living with Damion? His mind was wonky at best, erratic at worst. Before that? Locked up in his study at Hogwarts, not going out except for one night stands, too afraid of any sort of relationship because he didn't trust his own choices or judgement on people. Did he have to go to a spot before that? Which of the many terrible relationships was least awful? Or maybe his time in Hogwarts? With his mother sick and dying. Before that? He was fourteen, before that. No, he had to stop looking at the past, had to stop thinking about what he'd had at some point. He had to think about what he wanted from the future, which was hard to think about when until recently, he hadn't wanted a future at all. He was fine here, with Kirk. He was happy here. This was where he wanted to be.

O raised his eyebrow at the question. What was he on this ship? He was obviously not a sailor, they didn't wear silk robes. He was Kirk's. That was really the only thing he'd used to define his own position on this ship. He shared the captain's bed, the captain brought him anything he wanted and looked only at him. At least, that was what he assumed from the fact that Kirk never came back smelling of others. What should he classify that as? "I'm Kirk's boyfriend." It felt stupid, the word. It didn't explain that Kirk had saved his life, that he didn't demand anything from Kirk and yet the man gave him everything anyway. That Kirk never sought out relationships after his marriage and yet he had kept O and cared for him every day. It felt superficial and childish, the title boyfriend. Maybe partner would have been better, but that gave a sense of permanence that he wasn't sure they had yet. Kirk didn't want to be rid of him any time soon, but maybe Kirk would grow tired of him and finally decide to just drop him off at his supposed brother's doorstep. Who knew? He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to leave. Not the ship, not the island, those were just places. He didn't want to leave Kirk.

"Don't be dramatic. You're a child, he won't be dropping you off anywhere that you'll get hurt. He's not like that." O rolled his eyes. But Kirk better drop her off somewhere, he'd said nothing about children on the ship. Hell, he knew that Kirk didn't even like kids. Didn't like them, didn't want them. Why he had taken her on board was anyone's guess, but he supposed that he had been offered money to smuggle her out of the country. Was he taking her to the sanctuary? Kirk didn't know where the entrance was or how to get in and it didn't seem like he had talked to Anton about it. He hadn't mentioned anything to O at all and he was the only connection Kirk had to the caves. It was strange. Maybe Kirk didn't have a plan at all. Bloody pirates. "Fine. I'll hold you to that." He held out his hand. She found her own option and while it wasn't one he'd given, he was just glad he didn't have to deal with her much more. Besides, it showed that she did have brains after all. He was too tired to be annoyed anymore. "I taught alchemy." Optional course for NEWT students, Os necessary in Transfiguration and Potions and Arithmancy in order to take it. Needless to say, there had been very few students in his class and none of them had been thick.