he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown

@alessia outfit

Life was complicated, more so than she would like to admit to herself honestly. Bella often tried to see the good in people, a fault that had ended her with her heart broken, even though it was always on her sleeve it had not been something that she had expected. She had loved her husband, and though she was young dying was not something that had been on her list of goals just yet. Dying alone had been even worse, because the one person that she had wanted, needed to be there had been elsewhere. He had expected her to raise a child, his child, that had been conceived when she ill, dying even. He had no regard for her or any sense of propriety at all. It was why she was single. She flatly refused to be embarrassed in such a fashion.

Being alone was the hardest part, reaching for someone or something in her dreams constantly, waking up in a sweat, unsure of where she was or how she had gotten there. It was an old familiar feeling that she did not miss. It felt like change was in the air though. She had met someone, a man who got her heart racing and a smile to her face. She rather liked him, and she had seen him a few times since then. She enjoyed his company and had a date set for that night with him. He had even told her that there was someone special that he wanted her to meet. This made her happy, and brought a grin to her pale face. It made her want her work day to go by that much faster.

Sitting at the desk with the usual things she had a Witch Weekly opened and sat, watching the clock until she could go to lunch and pick up a new dress just for the occasion. She could almost bounce in her seat in anticipation. Flipping the pages she looked up as a woman approached the desk and she smiled, pushing the magazine out of view. ”Welcome to St. Mungos. How can I help you?”

Alessia wondered what life would be like for her and her baby had nothing happened with Felix. If he hadn’t made a mockery of her or her baby. She knew that she would get over the shame she had felt by his actions but right now she was still trying to repair her life. Alessia wasn’t sure how long that would take but she had to focus now on Addison. At least Felix had gifted a beautiful baby girl. She had thought she known what love was but definition had flown out the window on a Firebolt when Addison had been born.

She loved her daughter more than anything and would do anything to protect her. Sure she had lost the man she once loved through his greed but he had given her a priceless gift. Addison was precious and Alessia knew she would make sure that her baby girl was happy each and every day of her life. Nothing mattered more. Alessia would return to work in due course and to her job in time too but for now she was looking after her daughter. For a witch who had always put herself first, she had to put her daughter first now and she would do that easily. It was just the two of them. Sure she had support from other people but at the end of the day, it was still just mother and daughter. When Alessia was younger and thought about becoming a mother, this was far from how she saw it happening but then again, she knew that life didn’t always turn out like you would like it to.

She had to stop into the hospital today to pick up some potion from that maternity ward that she was told would help with Colic if and when Addison experienced it. It was still some time off from what she read in the many baby books she had collected during her pregnancy. Frankly, she hoped that her daughter never got Colic because she wouldn’t want to see her little one in pain but then again, it was not something she could keep away. Alessia entered the hospital. Normally she would just head up to the ward to get the potion but she didn’t know if it was busy or not so she thought it was best to wait in reception. She smiled at the reception, the younger woman was not someone she had spoken to much but there was always a first time. She knew her face so she was a bit surprised when she was not addressed by her first name. It was her own fault for not talking to the other witch beforehand. ”Oh, Hi” she smiled as she adjusted Addison in her arms before smiling the redhead. ”It’s me Alessia, I work in the shop….sorry we’ve not spoken before. I was wondering how busy is the maternity ward today or paediatrics?” She wasn’t sure if the latter was the right place but she had to try.

It was hard to forget the feeling that came with coming back from the dead, it was hard to shake the feeling that something, that death was waiting for her just over the horizon. She could never get rid of that feeling and it drove her a little insane at times, those long nights of not being able to sleep, wondering what might have been if she had stayed, if she hadn’t left her husband. It made her a little doolally really, but she didn’t know how to change that. She had people who cared about her and a cute boyfriend who was treating her like a queen. She flushed thinking about him, thinking about their nights together and it made her grin to herself, for just a moment. It wasn’t love, it wasn’t anything near that, but she was enjoying herself for the first time.

She was so used to giving everyone the same greeting that sometimes she just looked at people and didn’t see them. It was something she had gotten used to doing when she herself had been a patient in the hospital. She still blamed them for her almost dying, but when she had decided to do the experimental treatment she had known the risks and that that was a factor. She didn’t want to think about that though, it was behind her, the relationship she had left behind had been better there.

She smiled as she realized who was before her and stood up quickly. ”Alessia! Hey!” She came around the corner and gave the pureblood witch a one armed hug before looking at the baby with a grin. She lived through others, even though it did cause dark days, she still loved babies. She cooed for a moment then looked at the lovely woman. ”Pediatrics isn’t super busy, but the spring wave is in, so you would be waiting for forever.” She said before laughing a little. She wanted to hold the baby, but she never asked to. She secretly worried that she wouldn’t give the baby back when she held them so she didn’t even try.

Alessia knew that she would be making frequent visits for Addison in the coming years but she didn’t think she would be visiting the hospital so soon. It wasn’t time for her daughter’s vaccinations but her daughter had a temperature and anything she tried was not working. A cold compress, giving her a cool water bath, nothing. Alessia maybe working to extend her knowledge in Alchemy but she was not that confident when it came to portions, especially for those concerning children. She knew it was not necessarily hard but she didn’t want to risk it by trying attempt to give Addison something she had concocted on her own. She wasn’t even sure if it was a potion that was needed in this instance. She was best waiting to see a healer.

She knew the hospital got busy. She had seen it during each of her shifts at the gift shop. People didn’t just come in there just to buy a present for a new baby, they came in there for a number of reasons. There were gifts for everyone, new babies, and general get well gifts and gifts to encourage a patient during their long treatment. Alessia would miss serving those customers who came to the shop but she was much happier to be at home with her baby daughter. Addison was her life now. No one was going to take that away from her. Her ex-husband had decided he didn’t want to be involved and that was his own doing as far as Alessia was concerned. She felt horrible for her daughter. She had been lucky to be the apple of her dad’s eye as a child but Addison was going to be so lucky. Moving on to another relationship was far from Alessia’s mind right now. She was more concerned with looking after her baby girl and making sure she was well and happy. She would try to do that as much as possible, even if that meant she had to play the role of both parents.

Even with the temperature, Addison didn’t seem too fussy. But that rang an alarm in Alessia’s mind. She had thought children would be more irritable when they were unwell. Her baby had managed to look somewhat happy when Bella had come around to say hello properly. Alessia returned the hug, also using one arm given that she was holding her daughter. She wasn’t sure what Bella meant by ‘spring wave’ unless she was alluding to many babies being born. ”Oh you’ve not met Addison….this her” she smiled brightly as she shifted the blanket to Bella could see the baby better.

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tag: @alessia // words: 321 // notes: ---

The one thing that she wanted more than anything else in the world was to be a mother, and she knew that being bitter about her circumstances would never make it any better. I was just hard. It seemed like every time she was feeling alright about it, someone she knew was having a baby Or she saw a red haired child and she couldn’t help but wonder what her child would look like. She was mourning the loss of something that she could never have and it struck deeper than she liked to show. There were good days and bad days, but she had learned a long time ago to fake a smile even when she was falling apart. It was how she had made it through her divorce after all

Friends came and go and there those that she connected with and those that she didn’t. She liked Alessia. She was a pureblood, yes; and she was a lady, but she wasn’t rude to Bella. She didn’t try and make Bella feel inferior. Perhaps that had a lot to do with the fact that Bella had magical parents, or that she had a job in the same place but Bella lacked friends, so she wasn’t going to knock it.

Looking at the baby when Alessia pulled back the blanket Bella beamed. ”Oh, Alessia. She’s so beautiful! “ She hated that the poor thing was probably feeling poorly and she held out her finger for the baby to grasp. When she did Bella laughed. ”She’s got a tight grip too, she’s strong. That’s a good thing.” She didn’t get too close, as to not expose the baby to more germs and pulled her red hair over one shoulder.

”How have you been?” She often saw the other woman coming and going from the Gift Shop, but Bella didn’t get to speak much.

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Alessia hated the uncertainty of having a sick child. Addison was still so young and she had not been able to build up her immunity just yet and it made her feel so sorry for her daughter. While she was alone, it only human that someone in her place would break down and start to fret manically but this was Alessia. She still handled herself with so much charm and poise. She was never going to act any other way when she had been like this for so long. She knew was what expected her, she hadn't earned her title by marriage, no, this had been what she had been taught from a very young age. If she needed to break down she did so behind closed doors. Even those times were so few they could be counted on one hand.

The witch knew it was not right but right now her only concern was her daughter’s health. People could question her as much as they wanted but it was not concern and really, if they questioned her, then their priorities were in the wrong order. Alessia wasn’t the only person who was waiting for a healer. The waiting area was far from empty. But she hoped that the fact she worked here and also who she was would bump her up the queue a little. Well, she hoped it would work.

Alessia didn’t interact much with others that worked at the hospital. It was both a pride thing and she only did so out of necessity. Of course there were healers she knew since she had come here for her appointments and had had Addison here but other than healers she knew few others past their names. She thought she it was the least of her worries.

However, she did know Bella given that the woman worked on the front desk and was admittedly thrown off when she didn’t recognise her at first. ”Yeah, she definitely looks like a Selwyn” And thank Merlin for that! She only hopefully that Addison didn’t grow to resemble Felix. She soon pushed that thought from her for what seemed like the millionth time and smiled at the red head. ”That she does….I hope that’s a sign she’ll be strong with her magic too” Alessia replied standing a little taller before he brought the blanket around to cover Addison properly again.

”I’m well thank you, easing into motherhood, it’s been interesting to learn things about Addison along the way and sometimes I just sit there and marvel at her” The brunette replied beaming. ”How’s it all going around here?”

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