If I told you this was only gonna hurt

If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn
Would you walk in?
Would you let me do it first?
Do it all in the name of love

@alayla Outfit

You never really see it coming, making bad decisions; however Caterina Shafiq tried to not see it as thus. She wasn't really making bad ones, just small ones. Ones that could affect her future were nothings that she honestly thought about. She lived her life day to day and didn't really think about things beyond that, and there were two reasons. She wasn't Xiomara, and she was never going to be. She didn't want that life, arranged marriage, children less than a year, keeping house. It wasn't who she was, and her father knew this. So she had the deal that she did. She had to marry Michael unless she found love with someone else before hand, but they had to be from a good family, or rich enough to afford her. 

She knew the life that she had, she knew what she expected of her, and she knew what she wanted. None of them were the same things. She refused to be like so many others who did what they wanted, she would defy her father if she had to, but this was her life, and she was going to control what happened to her. She didn't care if she got kicked out of the family, she had the money that she needed, and she connections. She would be okay. She wouldn't go to Xiomara, because she knew how her older sister could be and having Lady Crabbe give her a talking to wasn't something she neeed in her life. 

She had her secrets and she like to keep them that way, having people knowing her business fucking constantly wasn't something that she was interested in doing, at fucking all. Rolling her neck she sighed and walked into the Adria, then into the restaurant where Alayla was going to meet her. Giving her name she was shown to a table and ordered some champagne for them, like the extra bitch that she was.  

Alayla had been looking forward to catching up with Caterina, the pair had had quite a good friendship in school and once upon a time you could probably have been likely to see Alayla, Cat and Gen all together being the sly bitches they were. But that was then and this was now. Now Alayla had had to put that bitchiness aside and step into the adult world and as it had turned out, that adult world now included a husband and baby on the way. Those were two things Alayla had never expected to have happened to her, she had hated children and had severe commitment issues yet Logan had walked into her life with his perfect looks and perfect smile, and just perfect everything and she’d found herself falling head over heels for him. Marriage had still seemed a long way off, she hadn’t been big on the idea but when she found out she was pregnant, Alayla had done something she’d never expected to do, she had suggested marriage; but, if she was being honest. She was glad she had.

The witch strolled into the Adria where she had agreed to meet Caterina, she’d ended up running a little late as Adrianna had decided she wanted to be difficult for Alayla, but finally after some soft words from her daddy and a mug of herbal tea, her daughter had stopped wriggling and Alayla had been able to get on with what she was doing. When she was inside the restaurant she gave her name and was guided to a table where she smiled at Caterina and hugged her friend before quirking a brow at the unopened bottle of champagne in the ice bucket. ”I fucking hate you.” Alayla said affectionately with a roll of her eyes, She knew her friend was a bitch but she knew that Cat wasn’t a bitch to her friends unless you deserved it.

She sat down across from her and ordered a sparkling water and turned back to her friend, ”I’m sorry I’m late, Adrianna was being difficult… How are you?” She asked her friend, putting her handbag down on the floor at her feet.

Being engaged and agreeing to this madness that her father had arranged was stupid, she hated all of it, and that she had to go through with it, but she knew that the more that she went along with things the less likely it was that he would give her shit for the life that she chose to live. She was happy that she could enjoy her life, what there was of it when she wasn’t in class or doing homework. There were times that she knew that she would have to give up something, like time with people that she wanted to be with, but she had to have priorities. School, then boys. It was that easy, and something that she didn’t bend on. She had Mikey, Jaxon, and Van. Her hands were full and honestly, it was by potions and sheer will alone that she hadn’t ended up pregnant.

Van was becoming her favorite, but only because he was so much more available than the others. He wasn’t currently touring and he liked to spend time with her, which meant that he treated her well. It made her smile, and glow, and she couldn’t help but to giggle sometimes when she thought of him. She had no expectations of what he would do for her, or with her, She had no expectations for the way that things would be between them, they had fun and that was it. That was all she wanted to think about for now. She had a year before she had to make a decision. A whole year before she would marry someone. Whether she loved them or not.

Seeing her friend walk into the room she smirked for a moment. Knowing full well that she would look like a total bitch for having the champagne, but she intended to drink it all herself. She was after all an extra bitch like that. She didn’t give a fuck what people thought of her and never had. The only people that mattered were her mother and her friends, and Alayla had known her long enough to know exactly how she was. ’Oh, bitch, no you don’t. I got you some sparkling cider coming. I feel like spoiling myself. So shush.” She would spend every Galleon of her father’s money if she felt like it.

”How is she difficult. She’s still inside you, not mewling until the break of dawn.” She said with a quirk of her brow. Her siblings brats were around enough when she was younger that she had invested in earplugs.

Alayla was so used to Cat making such outlandish comments and actions that she wasn’t even remotely surprised at the fact there was a bottle of champagne in front of her – mocking her. But then again, after Alayla had fallen pregnant and she had Logan back in her life, her drinking and smoking had been missed all that much; sure she did occasionally crave a smoke but after a while in waned and she could just get on with her laugh. She knew it made her cranky when she hadn’t had a smoke but Logan had also come to just accept her moods and leave her to it. She did feel bad afterwards whenever she took her temper out on him, but he always told her not to worry and forget about it. But that was the problem with Alayla she did worry and she couldn’t forget about things. She loved Logan, something she never thought she could do and she didn’t want to cause any trouble whatsoever by snapping too much, one day maybe she’d push him away and she didn’t want that. Call it pathetic or whatever but Logan was her happy ending and Adrianna? She was a happy beginning.

She never thought she’d marry and get pregnant straight out of school, she was always careful when she was sleeping around but somewhere down the line she and Logan had made a mistake and forgotten the protection or anything like that and now here they were. It could be argued Adrianna was a huge mistake and in a way she was, but she was also a blessing. Alayla had grown a backbone against her mother, she’d got her happiness back instead of letting everything be dictated for her, it was still difficult, it was her mother after all that she was cutting ties with, but it was a case of needs must. She didn’t want that poisonous woman in her life, Logan’s life and certainly not Adrianna’s life. ”Is it non alcoholic?” Alayla asked promptly and she stunned even herself, a few months ago, Alayla would demand it was alcohol but now she couldn’t, it was weird but she was getting used to it. ”You always feel like spoiling yourself. Every damn day.” Alayla pointed out with a somewhat affectionate eye roll.

Alayla shook her head and chuckled, ”Oh Caterina, babe. It’s not that easy, I have morning sickness like it’s no ones business and she wriggles constantly, the only time she’ll stay still is when she hears Logan’s voice. And she was difficult today because my back hurts, my feet ache, I got no sleep and had a migraine all morning and that is just some of the shit I’m dealing with today. I’d rather she was up crying all night, at least then I’d be able to quieten her down. At the minute I just have to wait it out.” She complained, secretly though she did quite enjoy everything that her daughter threw at her, she just wished it wasn’t everything all at once… that was a nightmare for her.