Lyla's Outfit

Tag: Beckett Archibald Graves

fathers and daughters you taught me how to fly

It was silly, she knew that. She knew that it was silly to think that anything was going to change, but really, she thought that everything was going to change. Her mum was pregnant. They were going to have another baby in the family, and that was exciting. Lyla thought that having another baby was going to be good, but it was something... Different. That was for sure. They were going to have to contend with things being different around here. And school was going to be different, now that LJ and Cal were gone. Now that Red was gone. Even Caerus. They weren't friends really, but they were teammates, and he was leaving too. Everyone was leaving, and they weren't going to be coming back. She was going back to school, well and truly on her own. Lyla wasn't good with people her own age, and the only people that she was halfway comfortable talking to weren't going to be there anymore. Everything was going to change, and a baby... A baby was good, but what if that changed everything here too? It was a silly thing to worry about, and she knew it, but she was worried all the same. Lyla didn't think that she knew where she got all of this worrying from. Dad certainly didn't seem to worry about this, and Mum... Mum was never worried. She was perfect, in every situation. Olivia Graves could handle anything, and Lyla thought that more than anything, she wanted to be like that. She wanted to be as perfect as her mum was. It seemed like it would be so much easier, not to worry, to just somehow believe that everything was going to work itself out... That was something that she thought was just... Enviable. She was envious, and that wasn't a quality that she wanted shared with everyone, but she was. She was envious. And so, she did the only thing that she could think to do, to try and just disappear for a little while. She had taken a book, and she had wound her way out through the hedge maze, and she was reading. Just leaned up against the edge of one of the benches that they had scattered through here, and she thought that it was peaceful. That it was kind of nice not to worry about things out here. Hogwarts was a million miles away, and Mum was... Probably inside, working on dinner. Not knowing anything about the fact that the bump that was her baby sister was causing her to second guess everything. Having a sister was going to be different than having brothers. Lyla knew that. She knew that another girl would change things in a way that a boy wouldn't have. A boy would have been just like Cal, or Anderson. There wouldn't have been these doubts that were driving her crazy. There wouldn't have been nearly any of the things that were bothering her. She didn't think that it was her sister's fault though. Lyla thought that there was just something wrong with her. Something that made her worry about every little thing that wasn't under her control at all. There was something about all of it that made her worry. Something about all of it that had her concerned about everything. And she thought that it would go away. That it would be gone before the baby got here... In December. But that was a battle for another time. They would worry about that later, so long as she made sure not to mention that part to Mum. There were things that you didn't talk about, and there were just things that you accepted and you moved on. That was what she was trying to do with this. A little sister was going to be a good thing. It was something that they should have been happy about. Mum seemed happy enough with the fact that it was a girl, and Lyla was just glad to see that when they came home she wasn't hiding it anymore. That they told both of them, officially, at dinner last night, after they had celebrated Cal's graduation. He was joining the Ministry, like them. Studying Economics, or something else smart. They were all smart. And the Ministry was something that they were all leaning towards. She knew that she was, Cal had. Mum and Dad had been there since they were teenagers. They were the Graves. In the end, they stuck together, and that was what mattered. They were always going to be the Graves... Whether there were five, or six of them, they were still going to be them. Not even looking up when a shadow landed on her book she was expecting Cal, honestly, sent by Mum to come find her for dinner. "You're blocking the sun, Cal..."

fathers and daughters When times are hard I know you'll be strong

Tags: Lyla

Outfit

Beckett knew that he’d been being a bit of an asshole lately. He knew it--and that was part of the problem. Even though he was well aware of how he had been acting, it was hard for him to stop. It was difficult for him to come to terms with everything and to move forward without being even just a little bitter. He’d given up on the argument. Liv had been pushing for another baby for over a year now, and every single time he had told her no. He didn’t want another kid. They weren’t getting any younger. They were about to have Cal out of the house, and Lyla would follow soon behind him. Of course he would miss them, but then they would only be one kid away from an empty house and after Anderson was gone, they would have that after nearly twenty-seven years of parenting. He wanted that. He wanted them to have time to themselves, time to travel, time to sleep until noon or spend all day in bed together without worrying about mouths to feed or anything else. But eventually it had just been time for him to stop arguing. It was exhausting. He had hoped, and it had been an awful hope, that Liv maybe just wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant. Maybe they had been fighting for no reason and they would realize that they really were too old to try this again. But at least they had tried. That had been his thought process anyway. They would have at least tried, and there wouldn’t have been anything wrong with it just not happening for them. But that hadn’t been the case. In fact, it seemed like it had been quite the opposite. It felt like nearly the moment that he had given in, the moment that he had said that they had tried, she had gotten pregnant. It had just seemed that fast to him. And he hadn’t been expecting that. He’d hoped that he’d at least have some time to adjust to the idea, to really get used to the fact that he’d agreed and that he’d signed up for another eighteen years of parenting, hundreds more diapers to change, potty training… everything. He had thought that he’d have time to get used to the thought, assuming she could get pregnant at all. Instead, there had been no time for him to really get used to the idea before she was telling him that she was pregnant and he knew that he hadn’t reacted well. He hadn’t been there for her--hadn’t gone to a single healers appointment or asked how everything was going. And he had always been there before. Every time. But this time was different. He knew it, and Liv knew it. He didn’t think that the kids had noticed, though they hadn’t been back from Hogwarts for more than a day. But he hoped that they continued to not notice. And he was trying. He was trying to try, anyway. He knew that he couldn’t be bitter about this forever. Whether he liked it or not, there was another baby coming. And it could never know that he hadn’t really wanted it. She. She couldn’t know that he hadn’t really wanted her. He needed to get past that before it got here. It was just hard to do. Harder than he had ever expected, and he knew that he was being an asshole. He knew that Liv was probably upset and he never wanted to make her upset. But it had felt like she hadn’t listened to his reasoning behind not wanting to have a kid, and when he had conceded and let her have her way, she had been all too willing to just accept that. And he supposed that wasn’t her fault. She had wanted another kid and why would she second guess him when he finally said that it was all right? He just hadn’t been as okay with it as even he had thought and now they were dealing with those consequences. Now he was trying to get passed that so that he didn’t feel like a completely horrible person. Because he did. He could witness himself being awful and still feel like there was nothing that he could do about it because he just wasn’t fully on board with all of this. He just wasn’t. No matter how much he wanted to be, it wasn’t something that he’d just been able to turn on and make happen. He just had to make sure that was something that the kids never caught onto. He hoped they wouldn’t--and that was the sole focus of his thoughts as he headed into the maze to find Lyla. Cal had said she’d come out here and had also offered to track her down but Beck thought he could use a couple minutes out of the house anyhow. “Not Cal.” He said with a chuckle, before sitting down on the bench next to her.

Fathers and Daughters

i knew you would catch me, when i start to fall

There was no reason to think that her parents having another baby was going to change the way that they felt about her, but Lyla had been the only girl for her entire life. Even when they had had Anderson, and she wasn’t the baby anymore, she had still been the only girl, and that had made her special. But now… now she knew that she had this thing that she was worrying about. That she was worried that they were going to replace how they felt about her with this little baby that they were having, and she was just a teenager. She was just the one that bent the rules and did everything that she could to make them proud of her. She was the one that they were just going to let be on her own. Because she was smart. Because she could handle herself. And maybe she was. Maybe she was smart… Maybe she was going to be just fine. But maybe her little sister was going to steal her parents away. And that wasn’t really fair. Because they didn’t treat the three of them any differently now, a fourth wasn’t really going to change that. But she thought that there was just something about it being a girl.

If the baby would have been a boy, she thought that she would have just rolled with it, and it would have all been okay. But it wasn’t a boy. It was a girl, and she didn’t know what to do with that. She didn’t know what to do with not being the only one anymore. What if she was better than Lyla was? What if everything about her was just better than Lyla? She was different, and she knew that. She knew that she wasn’t your typical seventeen-year-old. She knew that she wasn’t going to be making any new friends or anything. She was going to be on her own in Hogwarts, she was going to be on her own here. She didn’t really fit, and she didn’t want to feel like that. She didn’t want to think that they were going to replace her with her little sister, but it was hard not to think that. It was hard not to think that she was just this faulty mess, and she had been enough of a headache that it was worth replacing her with a little baby that wasn’t damaged and faulty.

Lyla knew that that wasn’t fair. Logically she knew that she shouldn’t be upset by this. She didn’t think so little of her parents. She knew that they loved her, no matter what. They were her two favorite people in the world. Right up there with Cal. They were her three favorite people. And she knew that nothing was really going to change, but it was hard to get that through her anxieties. She didn’t think that there was any good reason to think that anything bad was going to happen, but there was no escaping it either. She couldn’t just hide from it for the rest of her life, and she was going to love her sister, no matter what. It wasn’t the baby’s fault. It wasn’t going to easy her fears, nothing really was, until she was here, and Lyla saw for herself that they were going to love her just as much, even with her being here too. This was her family, and nothing was going to change that. Nothing was going to change how much they meant to her, and to Lyla, they were the world.

This was her world. This house, these grounds. This was her childhood. And Cal’s, and Anderson’s, and it would be the new baby’s. This was their world, and to Lyla, it was the very best place in the world. This was where she wanted to belong, more than she thought that she needed to anywhere else. She just wanted to belong here, to always belong here. No matter what the future held, one thing would always be true, she would always be a Graves. She would always be half Beckett, and half Olivia, and this place, this would be her home. When the shadow had come across her, she had thought that it was her brother. He was the one that knew that she had come out here after all, and she figured that Mum would want to have dinner on the table soon enough. But it wasn’t Cal’s voice that answered her, and she looked up quickly when she heard her father. “Dad!” Gathering her legs up so that he could sit down she shifted around so that she wasn’t quite leaning on his shoulder, but it was close. “What are you doing out here?”

@ beckett - Lyla's Outfit

► kaigra ◄

[Googlefont=Audiowide][Googlefont=Marck Script]

If I could catch a star
for you I swear I'd
steal them all tonight

❧

He needed to figure this out. He knew that. He knew that he couldn’t continue to act like this, but it was easier said than done. It didn’t even honestly help him all that much that he was aware of the way that he was acting. It should. It should help for him to be conscious of it, but it didn’t. He still couldn’t help but be… kind of awful about all of this. He just had made a mistake when he had told her that it was okay. He’d made a mistake in letting her have her way when he wasn’t sure it was what he wanted. Not even that--when he had been sure that this wasn’t what he wanted. Having another baby was a joint decision and in letting her make that decision for them, by letting her have her way when he hadn’t actually come around at all, he’d put himself in a bit of a tight spot. He didn’t want to be an asshole, but he also didn’t know how to get past this. He didn’t know how to accept something that he hadn’t been interested in having happen. He hadn’t wanted a fourth kid. That was all there was to it. There was no nice way of saying it, nothing that made it sound better.

There was no prettying up the fact that he just hadn’t wanted one. He had told her time and time again, but it had just never seemed to get through to her. Or… he supposed it had, but it hadn’t changed how she had felt. It hadn’t changed the fact that she had wanted another kid. It was a situation where neither one of them could really win. She couldn’t exactly have one without his okay, and he couldn’t exactly continue to say no when he knew how badly she wanted it. There was no winning. That was what had made it difficult. That was why he had finally decided that he could give in, that he could let her have this if it made her happy. He had promised a long time ago that he’d spend the rest of his life making sure that she was happy. After everything that he had put her through with Eliza, he thought that she deserved to be that happy. He thought that she deserved to have absolutely everything that she wanted. So, he’d given in. He had told himself that it would all be all right if she was happy--and that there was a chance she wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant anymore… or at least, that it would take a long enough time that he’d be able to adjust to the idea.

But that had been a mistake. Letting go before he had been all right with the end result had not been the best decision that he’d made. It had gotten them here. It had gotten them to this point, where he knew that he had been more absent so far than he’d been for any of Liv’s past pregnancies. He had always been there before. Any healer appointment that she’d wanted him at, he’d be at, no matter what he had to reschedule. He had wanted her to know that she wasn’t going through it alone. For all three pregnancies, after all, there had been… special circumstances. Cal had been a surprise, and since they hadn’t been trying to have a baby, he knew that she had been a little bit nervous about it. Then Lyla had come so soon after that he knew that Liv had been nervous about it for an entirely different reason. And then Anderson, of course, had come years later as another surprise. He had always wanted her to know that he was in this with her. He had never made her do it alone. This time around, he knew that he’d failed at that so far and he knew that was his fault. His fault for acting this way, his fault for letting go and agreeing to something that he hadn’t wanted.

It wasn’t Liv’s fault in the slightest. It wasn’t as if he blamed her, or the baby, for any of this. He was the one that had given in when he hadn’t changed his mind. He was the one that had said that he was okay with something when he’d really only wanted to make Liv happy. Beck had thought that he’d be past this and ready by the time that Liv was actually pregnant. He had thought that it was going to be fine. But then it had happened so quickly that he hadn’t had time, and he was just trying to get there. He was trying to get to the point where he was okay with it. He wished that it was happening faster, but it wasn’t. He could just only hope that the kids weren’t aware of it--or that they wouldn’t be, the longer that they were home. He didn’t want them to realize that there was anything wrong at all. “To tell you dinner’s ready.” He just as easily could have sent Cal, but he thought that he’d come out here himself.

@ lyla

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Fathers and

Daughters

It wasn’t fair to think that this was going to cause some catastrophic change in her life. Lyla knew that nothing was really going to change. It wasn’t like they were looking to kick Cal out since he had graduated. They weren’t trying to replace anyone, and she knew that. Intrinsically, Lyla knew that everything was going to be fine. But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t still harboring some reservations about the whole thing. Of course, she would never tell Mum that. But it was on her mind. It was something that she was thinking about, and had been thinking about, since the moment that she had found out that the baby existed. From the moment that she had found out that she was going to have a little sister, there had been something in her head that just hadn’t wanted to let it rest. And Lyla was trying. She was really trying to just let it be. To know that it was going to be okay. But that was easier said than done. Most things in Lyla’s life were easier said than done, and she knew that for the most part that was just how life worked. There was no getting around it or changing it. It was just how it was.

And she knew that by the time that her sister arrived, she was going to be used to the idea, and it was going to be fine. Mum having a baby wasn’t going to mean that they were going to love Lyla less. They hadn’t loved Cal less when they had had Anderson. She was being ridiculous, and she knew it. But her brain wouldn’t seem to accept that on a level that she could actually latch on to to make it all okay. And so, she had just taken to removing herself from the situation for the last couple of days. Well, day, really, they had only come home yesterday, but last night and now again tonight Lyla was determined to just give Mum a wide enough berth that she didn’t catch on to the fact that she was a little upset. That she was trying to process how she was going to handle not being the only girl anymore. She knew that she should have been better at it, she was seventeen years old after all. But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to think that they weren’t going to change something.

There was always a possibility that something could change, and Lyla knew that her anxiety was running away with her. That she was inventing scenarios that she couldn’t really expect to pan out. But there they were, making their way through her head in any case. They were still trying to find the answers, she was still trying to find the answers. Because Lyla was a Ravenclaw for a reason, and she liked answers. She knew that that was why Cal liked numbers so much. Numbers worked out. There was an answer in the numbers, and it was just how it was. That was why things were the way that they were. Lyla thought that that was why she enjoyed what Aunt Odelia taught them so much. There were answers in Arithmancy. There were no answers in this. Lyla had no answers to how much things were going to change. She had no answers to just what was going to happen when she had to go back to Hogwarts on her own next fall. And it was on her own. She had never been there without Cal before. Without LJ. They were the people that she had always looked to, relied on. Cal had been in Slytherin, but LJ had always been right there.

She had needed them then, and she had relied on them for the last six years. This was the year that she would have to rely on herself. And she didn’t know how to do that exactly. She wasn’t great with people that were younger than her. Anderson she could handle. She knew how to be around her own brother. And she thought that when the baby got here she would know what she was doing with a little sister too. Btu older, younger kids. She didn’t know what to do with those sometimes, and Hogwarts would be full of people that were younger than her. And it wasn’t fair to act like Aunt Odelia was going to have time to talk to her really. Lyla knew that she technically needed more friends her own age. But that would really mean having friends at all. And her friends had been limited to her brother, her cousin, and the other Lyla. Which had happened more through Red’s persistence than anything. She would rather be here, with them, and hang out with them, or Ves. That would have been better. But that wasn’t going to be an option, and she knew it. She was going to have to go back. Alone. “Oh. Okay…” Lyla knew that theoretically she should have stood up or something. Made some move to go inside, but she didn’t. Not yet.

@ daddy - 856 - lyla's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOXOGRPHY 2.0

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[attr="class","ctopline"]If I could catch a star for you

[attr="class","cscriptde"]i swear i'd steal them all tonight

[attr="class","cline"]

[attr="class","clyrics"]To make your every wish come true[break]
and every dream for all your life

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[attr="class","cbody"]It was always good to have the kids home for the summer. The house was always far too quiet without them here--and he knew that Anderson missed them plenty as well.
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This summer was a little different, of course, since Cal was officially a Hogwarts graduate. He knew that their eldest now needed to figure out what he wanted to do with his life and it seemed like he had a pretty good idea. Beckett was proud of him for that. It was a Graves tradition to end up in the Ministry. Sort of an unspoken rule, maybe. It wasn’t that he had to go and work in the Ministry. If he wanted to go and do something else, Beckett wasn’t going to get mad at him. As long as he wasn’t doing something completely idiotic.
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It was strange for him, to get used to the idea of having one kid that was old enough to have graduated from Hogwarts. And Lyla would be right behind him. She would be out of Hogwarts before they even know it and he thought that would be even harder, just because she was his little girl. The fact that she was old enough to be out of Hogwarts and nearly on her own was going to be a difficult thing for him to wrap his head around.
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Of course, that part of him that had been excited about the prospect of full time parenting coming to an end had been silenced now that they had another eighteen years before they would have that to look forward to. Merlin, he needed to get past this. He didn’t like that he was still caught up on the fact that he hadn’t wanted another kid.
[break][break]
Liv had. That should be all that mattered to him. Her being happy was more important to him than anything else and it had been… for a very long time. He couldn’t say forever, because there had been a time in their lives when he had put her through the ringer, a time when him being married to someone else had been incredibly difficult on her. But since then, making sure that she was happy was something that was just… so important to him. So, he should just drop this. He knew that.
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But apparently, that was easier said than done.
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Now that the kids were home, it was even more important that he kept his thoughts to himself. The last thing that he wanted was for them to think that he wasn’t happy that they were going to have another sibling. That was information that they just… didn’t need to have. He would get past it, eventually. He was sure that he would. By the time that she got here, at least. It wasn’t that he wasn’t going to love her. He knew that he would love her the second that he saw her--he loved her now. It wasn’t her fault.
[break][break]
He just didn’t know how to get past the thoughts that he was having. The ones where Liv hadn’t really seemed to actually listen to him and the concerns that he’d had about having another kid. The fact that she had been so ready to get pregnant right then and there. He knew that wasn’t even her fault, but it felt like the second he had relented, she had been pregnant. There had been no time for him to even get used to the idea that they were trying, and that there would eventually be a kid in the picture.
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And that had led… to this. He didn’t know what Liv was thinking about it. But they would figure it out. For now, he knew that he just had to keep a lot of his thoughts to himself and focus on how glad he was that the kids were home. And since Liv didn’t immediately hop up to head inside, and she had been hiding out here in the first place, Beckett had a nagging suspicion that she might be upset about something herself. And that was something that he wanted to solve. “Something on your mind?”
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[attr="class","cnotes"]690 ● @ lyla ● outfit

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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Fathers and Daughters

i knew you would catch me

when i start to fall

If she knew what was coming, that might have been easier. But she didn’t know. None of them knew. There was no telling what it was that they were up against. She knew that life was like that. That they were supposed to face the future unknown, but Lyla was worried. She was worried that she was the only one going back to Hogwarts. She was worried that they were going to have another baby, another girl, and that she wasn’t going to matter anymore. Because she was grown. Daddy might not have wanted to admit it, but Lyla was seventeen. She was grown. And she knew that there was going to be something special about a new baby. There had to be, for them to have had one. There had to be some reason, and Lyla had no idea what it was. She just knew that she was being ridiculous about this whole thing. They weren’t going to love her less…

Still, she thought that she wanted to give herself some space to think. If she thought about it in the house then Mum was going to see, and notice, and Lyla thought that there was something more to it than that. She was Dad’s. Cal was Mum’s. He was Dad’s too, she knew that, but she also knew that Cal went to Mum first. She was too much like Mum for that. And Cal was too much like Dad. They were clones, as Uncle Nate liked to say. One of each of them. And Anderson was a blend. He was still little enough that he wanted Mum more. And Lyla got that, but what if the baby wanted Dad? What if a new baby took Dad away from her? Sharing with the boys was one thing, she had learned to share with her brothers, but a girl? Another girl could change everything.

Lyla wasn’t going to say any of that in the house though. She wasn’t going to upset anyone. She just thought that she was going to have to work harder to try and get behind the idea of a little sister. And she would. She would get there. It was just that knowing it was a girl… She had wanted it to be a girl. She had thought that she wanted a little sister, when she had first cornered Mum about being pregnant in the first place. But now that she knew, Lyla was a bit more hesitant. She was worried about things that were out of her control. Things that she didn’t really need to worry about. Because no one was going to replace anyone else. That was silly. They weren’t going to love her less or love the baby more. They were going to love them the same. They were all the same.

And they were all different. They all had something that made them unique. That made them special. She had quidditch, Cal had numbers. Anderson would have something. And the baby? The baby would always be the baby.

Sighing a little bit, she shook her head when Dad pressed a little further. She should have gotten up. She should have walked inside with him, and he wouldn’t have worried about what was bothering her. He would have let it go. Or she could have hoped that he would have. But she knew her dad. She knew that he knew her. As much as she would have liked to leave well enough alone, she knew that he wouldn’t if he thought that she was upset. And the way that the question was phrased, Lyla had a pretty good idea that he knew that something was up. “Just worried.” That was the truth, she was worried. About school, about being alone, about having to face it all on her own. And about being a big sister again. About it being a girl…

@ daddy • 648 • lyla's outfit

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[attr="class","ctopline"]IF I COULD CATCH A STAR FOR YOU

[attr="class","cscriptde"]i swear i'd steal them all tonight

[attr="class","cline"]

[attr="class","clyrics"]TO MAKE YOUR EVERY WISH COME TRUE[break]
AND EVERY DREAM FOR ALL YOUR LIFE

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[attr="class","cbody"]Beckett was worried about this.
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He didn’t want to be, but it didn’t change the fact that he was. It didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t fully gotten on board with it. He could see himself being a bit of a jackass, he could witness himself acting that way, but he still couldn’t bring himself to act any differently. It was just… hard. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that they were having another baby. Yes, he had given in, but after a year of Liv nagging him about it nonstop, he had been tired of arguing about it. He had been tired of trying to explain that three kids was enough for him. That he didn’t want to be parenting into his seventies.
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But now he would be.
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Maybe Liv didn’t understand because she was younger than he was. He couldn’t begin to understand why his logic had seemingly gone right over her head, but she had never seemed to even try to understand where he was coming from. The fact that their kids had been unplanned hadn’t made them any less wanted. The fact that they had been engaged and not married didn’t change anything either. He didn’t know why semantics like that mattered to Liv when she was the one that had been fine with being just engaged. He would have married her years ago.
[break][break]
She was the one that had been fine with keeping things the way that they were and now she was the one saying that she wanted to have his baby with her last name finally being Graves. He didn’t know why that mattered to her, but apparently it did. And since she had wasted no time in getting pregnant, he’d had very little time to warm up to the idea. He knew that it had resulted in him being not nearly as supportive as he had been in past pregnancies and he was really trying his hardest to get past that. He was trying to be okay with it because the baby was coming eventually, whether he liked it or not.
[break][break]
It wasn’t like it was their fault either. It wasn’t that he wasn’t going to love it because he was sure that he would. But it didn’t change the fact that he thought he’d changed his last diaper until he had to talk Cal through it if he got married. He thought the next time he’d be holding a baby that was related to him, it would be a grandchild not another child. Cal was young, but he still could be married before too long. It had seemed much more reasonable to him than having another kid eight years after Anderson.
[break][break]
Now he was going to be subjected to years of no sleep, and thousands of diapers, and all of their children wouldn’t be out of the house until he was seventy-three years old. By then the Maldives probably will have sunk, and he would be old. Too old to enjoy the fact that they were finally free of kids and able to travel or do whatever they liked.
[break][break]
Salazar, he knew that he needed to stop thinking about it. He wanted to focus on the kids that were here and that were home for the summer. It was obvious to him that something was on Lyla’s mind. “Worried about what?” He didn’t want her to be upset about anything—whether it was her school, or her internship, or anything else.
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[attr="class","cnotes"]585 ● @ daughter ● outfit

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS

I KNEW YOU WOULD CATCH ME

WHEN I START TO FALL

Lyla didn’t like the unknown. She didn’t like when she wasn’t in control of things. She thought that there were too many variables in their lives right now. There were too many things that she didn’t have a good enough grasp on. She thought that it was going to need some work. That it was going to be something that she was going to have to wrap her head around. Going back alone. But now she had other things to worry about too. She had to worry about going back to school. And she had to worry about being replaced by a baby…

That was a silly fear. No one was going to be replacing her. But she thought that it was something that she was going to worry about anyway. She was going to have to figure out what it was that they were going to do. Was she going to stay here after she graduated? Of course, she was. They weren’t going to kick her out. They hadn’t kicked Cal out. But she was worried that they were suddenly going to decide that they wanted to do it all themselves. That they were going to want more space for Anderson, and for this baby that they were having. That they were going to decide that she and Cal were grown…

And it was a silly thing to worry about. No one was going to care that she was eighteen when she graduated. No one was going to care that she was still living here, so long as she was going to school and doing something with her life. And so, she thought that she was just going to have to try and make the best of it. She was going to have to try and make sure that she didn’t let things get in her head and bother her. And when they did, she thought that she would find her way out here. Because out here, lost in the maze, she didn’t have to think about anything else. She could find some inner peace. And really, she thought that they were all going to need that space, and frame of mind.

Getting away from the house helped. Getting away from Mum for a little while helped. Because Mum would just know. And she didn’t want that either. She didn’t want them worrying about her. They had enough to worry about. Cal was starting University. And they were having a baby. And it wasn’t like they didn’t have high stress jobs. They had plenty to worry about without worrying about whatever was wrong with her too.

That was partially why she had been surprised to see Dad when she had looked up, instead of Cal. It was instinct to think about it being her brother that had come after her. But it had been Dad. And she didn’t know if that was better or worse. Better, because she knew that she could be a little less strong around Dad, but worse because if he was the one asking questions, she wasn’t likely to lie to him. Lyla had been Daddy’s Little Girl since she was big enough to really have a preference like that.

When he did ask her, she shook her head, “Everything.” That wasn’t a very specific answer, but it was the truth. It felt like everything in the world was on her mind. She was worried about so much, and she was worried about nothing all at the same time. “I’m worried about what happens now, I guess…” Cal was going somewhere different, come fall. And she was going to be on her own. Truly on her own, in that castle for the first time. Having Aunt Odelia wasn’t the same. It wasn’t going to make the whole any smaller. Not the way that the boys had.

@ tell me everything's going to be okay • 641 • lyla's outfit

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