Let's runaway and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

@hal  - outfit

Octi used to enjoy his summers a lot. There had been people to go visit, occasionally hooking up with them. There'd been friends to visit. There had been fun out in the fields, there had been activities with his parents. Not last summer, that had come right after that horrible feast and so many of his friends being rounded up and registered. That had been horrible, he had been so afraid. He had been so worried. He hadn't really enjoyed that summer, he'd stayed home and hidden. Octi wasn't the brave type and he didn't much know how to handle those events. It had been... well, only marginally worse than now. At least now he knew that most of his friends were somewhat safe. Somewhat, the school was better than Kolna, apparently. Jason wasn't. Dev told him that Jason was dead. That had been- when he found out, he hadn't really doubted it? These people weren't people, they were monsters. Jason was kind and shy and- and Oci had cried a lot, and then he'd gone numb, and now he mostly... the last time one of his friends had died, it had been Kit faking his own death. The pain was familiar, but... well, he only felt that gut wrenching emptiness when he thought about it. He tried not to think about it, otherwise he wouldn't leave the house all summer. Again.

Mum didn't want him going anywhere near that school, or the muggleborn apartments. All he could do was write. He had already, because he realised that with their OWLs and the Quidditch Cup, he'd completely forgotten to. That made him a bad friend, he knew it. He just had been so occupied with other things- Octi wasn't always the most lucid of people, that got the better of him so often. Still, he had remembered, and he had even sent some -hah- baked good over. Yesterday, he'd tried to get his mind off everything. He'd gone for a walk in the fields, he'd taken Rufus with him. He'd finally put a basket on his bike and gone for a ride around town. Needless to say, Rufus fell asleep. Baskets did that to her. They didn't live all that far from London, though, and while he had no one to visit really, he'd wanted to come anyway. This time, without Rufus. He'd gotten some pocket money from mum and taken off early in the morning with his guitar on his back. He'd arrived in town somewhere around mid morning, and he'd gone to the park right away. For a nap. The bike was protected by anti-stealth charms for any passer by. It'd been nice for a long while, laying there on the grass in the sun, until some blokes had hit a football at his head. Well, not on purpose, they'd been playing and it shot away and hit him. It'd hurt a bit, it'd definitely woken him up, but they apologised a lot so he figured it was fine. His head was still ringing a bit, but he didn't think he needed a healer or anything. Instead, he'd grabbed his bike again and walked all the way to Diagon Alley. The barkeep at the Cauldron said he could leave it in the little -yard? garden? square?- by the entrance to the Alley, so he did.

It was crowded as ever, really, and having his guitar on his back didn't really help mobility. He wasn't all that sure why he'd come here, he couldn't even floo home with his bike there. Well, he could probably ask the barkeep to shrink it for him, but the fire would get his guitar out of tune anyway. No, okay, he was here for ice cream. That was always a good idea and he hadn't gotten that money for nothing. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, to be cheerful instead of the fear he would've guessed at. Maybe more people were just trying to distract themselves with temporary materialistic gain, like him. There were summer sales and student celebrations and all that. People selling little home made things in corner stores, decorated with colours and flying things and balloons. They were giving those away. He could never help it, so he accepted one. Pale white with something like a little sun inside it, it was great. He wondered how long it would last. It'd be good to have in his bedroom, he wasn't fan of the dark lately.

With a grin, he stepped into Forescue's, guitar and balloon and all.

teenage dream

We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

Hal thought this summer break was exactly what he needed and he was already dreading the end of it. Honestly, why did he even have to go back? He should just make his case with his dad to be able to go to Eton with the rest of his cousins and muggle friends and be done with it. But nooooo, Edward thinks a magical education is paramount because he's the heir of the magical Courtenay line - as if anybody cared about that. Hal certainly did and he didn't think anyone else cared either. Honestly, they were just another bunch of halfbloods that thought too highly of themselves - and, as far as the current administration went, they might as well be chopped liver. Hal tried the Eton Argument since his second year at Hogwarts and he didn't think it was going to work any better now than it did back then - but sometimes he was tempted to try anyway. Just knowing that he'd have proper music, his phone and actual civilisation around was incentive enough to run the risk.

It wasn't like he hated magic. He didn't, really. In his household, he and his siblings were taught that magic was an extension of themselves, to be used as any tool. So his mum had hired magical people to see to the upkeep of the house, though she drew a line on cooking. His father's office was a cross between some sort of technological wonderland and Hal's professors' offices. They had a TV and ordered Chinese on weekends but were treated almost strictly with potions and his parents had a car only for show, since they Apparated and Flooed everywhere. They took the best of both worlds and merged into a household and made it work. What pissed Hal off so much about school was that Hogwarts was so...backwards. Incredible, in its own way, and he didn't think it was horrible. But it wasn't as good as it could be because it was firmly stuck in being a bastion of the Middle Ages in the middle of nowhere, Scotland. It wasn't entirely surprising to him, really, considering most of the wizarding world was like that too. Fuck's sake, Travers only recently stopped wearing corsets in her free time!

One of the things Hal freely admitted that wizards had better than muggles was ice cream. Hands down, there was no competition, really. First time his parents took him to the parlour and he tried out their mango recipe- well, it had been love at first sight. And it was literally the only thing that could drag Hal away from the family estate where they were spending summer to end up in Diagon Alley was that. Ice cream. Yes, pathetic, right, he knew. But still. His cousins were coming over and a few of his mates too. They'd spend a week there at the estate with him, horseback riding and playing tennis and fooling around in the pool. First, though, they'd have lengthy videogames sessions and share information about their respective school terms - Hal's heavily redacted, of course. And that called for ice cream.

Tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter as he waited the man to come back with the answer to whether they had passion fruit ice cream, Hal looked around and- "Octavian?"

tags: @ octi

outfit

LET'S RUNAWAY AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK
DON'T EVER LOOK BACK

    Octi wasn't someone who planned things in any way. He liked to go with the flow. Some people went on and on about taking control of your life and having goals and working to achieve them and Octi just never figured to get on that bandwagon. Octi liked to let life flow, so he went with what was thrown at him. Sure, he wanted to study music and he would like to travel the world, but was he making specific plans to do that? No. He wasn't thinking step by step what he wanted to do and how he was going to achieve that or any of those convoluted plans. He thought that took the joy out of living. Took the surprise out of following the twists and turns of every day events. He didn't know where he would end up, he didn't know who he would meet or run into. He just did whatever he felt like doing at a certain time and went with whatever the outcome was. That was why Hogwarts bothered him so much. As beautiful as it was and as much as he loved his friends, the time tables and obligations really just killed his buzz. It felt like a pretty cage and going back there always just made something inside him wilt. Well, with enough water and fresh air, he recovered. Like now. What day of the week was it? No clue. What time? Dunno. Was he going back home tonight? Who knew. All he knew was that right now, he was getting himself an ice cream. Life.

     The sound of his name made Octi look away from his balloon and to- oh, Hal. His face split into a wide smile and he walked over to the older boy, practically bouncing. Oh, it was so warm today and yes, he might be completely clear headed, but in a way he was just high on freedom. "Hey, Hal! How's your summer? Didn't expect to run into you." Alright, Octi didn't believe in fate, fate was certainty and nothing was certain. He believed in chance, because as rare and unexpected as some things may be, there's always that chance that they do happen. Octi was friends with Hal, and the chances of that happening had been pretty high since he liked to be friends with as many people as possible. Still, he found himself disappointed in that. He met Hal at a point in which he was feeling really lonely and second best. Sometimes, if he let himself think about it, he still did, but Hal didn't make him feel like that. Hal made him feel better and... different. Good in a warm way that he recognised to be a crush. Yeah, he liked it when they sat together, when they talked, when they went to have hot chocolate in the kitchens at night. He liked it a lot, and if he just wanted to hold his hand sometimes? He wouldn't deny it, he did. He also wanted to cuddle, sort of like he used to with Dev but while with Dev it'd be platonic... this wouldn't be. That was why he didn't try to be as physically close to Hal as he was with his other straight friends. It wouldn't mean the same and Hal would only mean it as friendship. Wasn't that sort of like lying? Wasn't that unfair? Wanting more than Hal could give, when he already gave so much. 

    Still, just because he had a crush didn't mean they couldn't be friends. He wasn't stupid enough to think that this couldn't work just because the feelings were uneven. Octi had just never had a crush on someone before and of course the first time would happen when he was feeling vulnerable and sad and someone paid attention to him. Of course. He'd been attracted to people before, he'd liked their personality, he'd considered dating and such... but that had all been some passive observation. He'd never had emotions to go with the thoughts. Now? Now, he had his first crush on a straight boy. That was just fucking great, okay. 

outfit | @ hal | Note

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There were things that...Hal just knew. He knew he liked helping people, loud music and running. He was also pretty fond of snogging, really, though that shouldn't count as a hobby. A soft spot for cooking, for sad people. His brother and his sister, of course. Riding and playing polo and throwing about a rugby ball. He also liked girls. Like, quite a bit. Ever since he'd gotten old enough to realise that they were very, very pretty and very, very soft, he found out that having their attention on him was awesome. Well, depending on the girl, really. Like Lyla. She was great and they were friends. Part of the Halfbloods That Are Important But Not Quite Because They Aren't Purebloods club. She was also genuinely nice and they spent some time together. It was fun, yeah, but he never wanted to snog her. Or anything, ah, less innocent. It was just friendship. Whilst he couldn't say he was friends with Travers, she was a very pretty girl that he wanted nowhere near him in a more than platonic way. Just...no. Maybe Hal had a type? And that type was nice and fun and not scary. Which automatically excluded both Travers and Lyla and half of Slytherin.

Lately, though, he just...couldn't find it in himself to go and talk to one of his usual hookups. He could have, sure, but most of the time Hal preferred to spend time with his friends or practising quidditch or being with Octi. Who was a friend, yes, but also deserved a category for himself. For some reason. Because, in Hal's mind, there were people and friends and family and Octi. Who was both people and a friend but, somehow, surpassed these labels to create one of his own. Hal...made the tactical decision not to question why his mind decided that it needed to make this distinction. Just like it was pointless to wonder where his goddamn sex drive had gone. It would return or it wouldn't but Hal wouldn't make a fuss. He had too much to do, to worry about. It wasn't like he had been full of free time anyway to spend with things that were, in the grand scheme of things, frivolous. Besides, now that he was on break and no longer hella stressed, he was sure that he'd be able to deal with that. There were parties and plenty of willing birds about and Hal was going to take advantage of that. Right. The only reason why he hadn't yet was because his break was just...in the beginning. And he had plenty of time.

Octi...Hal didn't even know, how could he even be real? In his mind, he'd equated him to a fluffy bunny once and it was probably a bit demeaning? But goddamnit if his friend didn't look cute and cuddly and adorable with those curls and carrying that balloon. Dressed like that. Hal couldn't help but smile at him, Octavian's general disposition and his sunny personality were just contagious. Even to himself, who was a happy person in general - that was, when he wasn't stress personified. "Going great, thanks! Yours? You look happier," he remarked, knowing that the pressure of institutionalised education weighted a bit on his friend. It...was something Hal would never understand but that was okay because Octi was just special. Himself. "Hah, neither did I, really. Was planning on a fully muggle summer, you know, to get rid of the homesickness. But ice cream, mate. Here, come and have some with me before I leave."

He wrapped an arm around Octi's shoulder's, still grinning, and turned back to the counter. He smelled like nature. How could a person smell like bloody nature? "Choose something, my treat."

tags: @ octi

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words: 623

LET'S RUNAWAY AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK
DON'T EVER LOOK BACK

    Octi supposed that he had never considered himself straight. His parents had always worked very hard to make sure that nothing was ever fixed or constant in his head. He could be whatever he wanted to be, call himself whatever he wanted to call himself, and if the next day he wanted to change that then he could. He should never limit himself or his existence or identity. Therefore, he never limited who he could like in what way. All he ever forced himself to be was kind, because everyone deserved kindness. No matter what. It was something he would never allow to change within himself. What he liked, though- at first, he'd started liking girls. That was the simplest thing, that was the example he'd always gotten as a child. His parents were a boy and a girl, Alis' parents were a boy and a girl. It was the most normal thing, so that was what he considered himself as a small child. The more time he spent with Alis, though, he came to understand that normal and usual had little to do with him and his preferences. Alis was always taller than him, always wider, more formed. It took until puberty for him to understand why exactly he liked that. It made him feel safe, secure. He and Alis tried some things out, and while they both understood that physically they had enjoyed things, they were far too close since always to think of each other as anything else. That was the moment in which he understood not only that he liked boys, but that he liked very particular boys. What he liked about girls started to fade, eventually, the softer he as a person got. What he needed from someone in such situations was usually to be looked after, to be taken care of. That was the position that was traditionally considered as that of the feminine side of things. Therefore, when he was with girls, that was what they wanted and what they expected Octi to provide. Slowly, he had started to limit his partners only to boys. Not because he didn't physically like women, but because he didn't like sleeping with them.
    Liking boys was, however, a double edged sword. He knew what he liked and he liked it a lot, so it was hard from him to hold back when it came to pleasure. He easily went along with propositions, wanting to keep his mind clear of any emotional influence, but he always got attached. Not romantically, not really, but he always cared about the people he was intimate with. Far beyond mere friendship but not what anyone would consider to be un-platonic. It was complicated but he understood it, that was enough. Things were changing, though, because he was feeling something else. Not for anyone he'd been with before. Even though both Kit and Jay had hurt his feelings, neither of that lasted very long. He could move on from that which meant that what he felt for them never went beyond the caring he felt for every other lover. No, the change appeared as soon as he started being friends with Hal. Well, friends. Hal was straight, but they did a lot of things he had only done with some of his non-straight friends. Nothing like making out or beyond that, but things like napping together and cuddling and kissing each other on the cheek. Octi held Hal's hand and he found himself not going to any of his lovers at all. It was strange, it was- unusual. What he felt here was not something he should be feeling. It was unfamiliar and, most importantly, it was pointless. Hal liked only girls, which meant that crushing on him would only serve to harm their friendship. That was hard to remember when Hal smiled at him like this, wrapped an arm around Octi's more slender shoulders and guided him to buy him an ice cream.
    "Me? I guess- summer always helps. Home, you know? Missed my parents and our house. Everything feels better there." He smiled, sinking into the taller boy's side. Admittedly, he had been having a hard time at the end of the school year. It had been- everything had been going on. Kit and Jay and- not something he wanted to think about. Being home was more comfortable, it helped him heal. Sometimes he compared it to slinking into his cave and licking his wounds, but that was an exaggeration. It was just finding somewhere he belonged in order to get himself back in shape. He'd need it, to start the new year. "Really? Uhm- they have new tastes, right? I want lavender and honey, please." He offered Hal a smile, internally knowing it was far softer and sweeter than that which he would offer a platonic friend. He couldn't help it. Well, Hal would never know that he adored being there so much. Not the ice cream parlour. His arms.

outfit | @ hal | Note

template by punki of adoxography

Hal wasn't exactly used to be confused. In fact, he often preferred not to think about things he couldn't control and left them to be solved at their own time. After all, if there was nothing that he could do, what use was it to worrying about it? He always tried to make things as good as he could, of course, to make everything work in his favour and that of the people he loved. It would be hell the day Hal stopped trying making everything perfect for everyone. From his family to friends to barely acquaintances, it was almost like a fatal flaw of hhis, trying to make sure everyone was as happy as they could be, taking up as much responsibility as he could to make sure no one else did. Was it healthy? Hell, no. It was the furthest thing from that, actually. And he was well aware of that. Just as he was aware that being annoyed because he was confused- of being angry at himself because of this, wasn't healthy. Hal, in fact, was likely the least mentally healthy person in the history of ever - and he freely admitted that. Lying to himself wasn't a skill he'd ever acquired and didn't think he had any use for, honestly. If the occasional feeling of helplessness and irritation was the price to pay to have a working mind...well, Hal at least could drink? That was a positive thing, he supposed.

It felt, however, that everything that he'd been not-struggling with just bloody disappeared when he saw Octi enter the stupid ice cream shop. How was that actually possible? They hadn't even been friends for long, okay, and yet Hal felt as if the world would do something like implode if Octi disappeared from his life. That was...the most ridiculous thing he'd ever contemplated in his life because it was codependent like hell and slightly terrifying. Especially since he'd known people for longr and they didn't quite mean the same to him. Eh, whatever. Hal always thought that he could use a new best friend. Or, at least, a magical best friend. Ned Percy was alright - as far as Percys went, - how he could be related to Thomas and Henry Percy was anyone's guess - and they got along well. Had known one another ever since they were babies, in fact, and Hal liked his best friend. But Percy couldn't know about magic which meant that he was screwed in some ways. Not even his cousins could, really, and it really put a damper on the whole 'trust your family above all' thing that his parents had preached to him ever since he could remember.

He- was not going to think about any of this. Because that would give him a headache and not help any and now he was going to have some ice cream with Octi. Yeah, that was good and not confusing at all. Confusing wasn't something he liked doing and would always consciously choose to shy away from it. Like now. "I know exactly how you feel, mate. I mean, I could almost kiss the estate grounds' when we arrived there. My cousins want to murder me for going off grid for so long," Phillip had actually mentioned bringing up The Emerson Incident during family dinner if he disappeared again and that would be one hell of a disaster. Hal- someone needed to figure out how to make texting work in that bloody castle. Octi slotted almost perfectly to his side and Hal squeezed him a bit, smiling. "Yeah, they've got tons of it. I'm pretty sure some of them are alcoholic but-" snickering he relayed their orders to the man behind the counter. Lavender and honey for Octi, passion fruit for him. That smile- Hal had to smile back, tugging playfully on one of Octi's curls. Their bowls were served and Hal carried both of them to a nearby booth, so Octi could still stay against him.

tags: @ octi

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words: 663