skinny love Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

Tags: @dorian

Outfit

She hadn’t known how it was going to go. She hadn’t turned herself in thinking that she’d know the exact outcome before it had even happened. There were plenty of ways that it could go, and she had known that. She had heard about the regulations… loosening, for lack of a better word. The Minister had changed, and then Muggleborns had two days off a week… then the kids had been sent to a school instead of being forced to work… and then this had happened. They had been sent home. They had been able to leave Kolna, or whatever other building they had been in, and they’d been able to go back to their families and back to their homes--as long as they kept going to work. It wasn’t perfect but it was a definite improvement. And it was more freedom than she had being cooped up in Dorian’s apartment. It wasn’t like she felt trapped there. She knew that he would let her leave if she wanted, and she knew that he was only trying to help her. She could never repay him for everything that he’d done for her. But with regulations getting slightly better, she thought that it was better to grin and bear it with the rest of the Muggleborns, instead of hiding in an apartment that she couldn’t leave without risking getting caught. It wasn’t something that she’d come up with on a whim. It was something that she had been thinking about from the moment that she had heard the news. It was time to take a step in a direction--any direction. And it just so happened that the best move to make was to turn herself back in. It was what she had to do. Cami hadn’t known if she would go right back to being a test subject, or if she would be given another job that was worse… but she didn’t know if there was anything worse than that. It had always seemed like the worst job to her. Sure it was just physical pain, but that was pretty awful. Maybe being someone’s maid would be worse, and having to live in a house of purebloods that could call on her to do whatever, whenever they wanted. Clean up after them, make food for them, wear whatever uniform they wanted--that was more humiliating than painful and she thought that maybe she would hate that even more. That was just beside the point. She knew that she would start work tomorrow, and she would figure it out then. There was no reason to worry about that more than she had to right now. She had honestly barely been able to make it back here--back home, because while the rest of the Muggleborns had been able to go home, apparently those that had run off or hadn’t registered got sent right back here anyway. But that was… fine. That was the least of her worries. She’d always lived in… less than stellar conditions, apart from when she had been at Hogwarts. A crappy apartment was not a problem to her, especially when she was currently like… the only person living in it. As far as she could tell anyway. She had only been here for a couple of hours, but there had been no sign of anybody and there was no personal possessions that looked like they had been moved or… used at all--just things that people had left behind, she assumed. She had been able to find a rag to press against her arm. It had still been bleeding when she had made it back here. Cami knew that she should have expected torture. Maybe she had. Muggleborns that had registered and stayed put had gotten to go home… but she had ran away. She hadn’t necessarily thought that she would just get to go right on home or anything like that. Maybe she had thought there was a chance of her getting killed, but definitely at the very least tortured. But it didn’t make it any easier to deal with after months and months of not being tortured every day. She had gotten used to it before, but that had definitely faded away during her time in hiding. She’d just posted up the couch and decided that she’d lay there until she was too hungry to ignore it anymore. Then maybe she would see if they were still keeping the kitchen stocked. But she hadn’t realized just how exhausted she was until she started to doze off…

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?
Come on skinny love

OUTIFT

He still didn’t understand why she wanted to turn herself in.

Dorian wasn’t sure he would ever understand.

He had never wanted that for her. When he had proposed rescuing her from his brother’s operation and from the oppression of the muggleborn situation, he hadn’t exactly considered what the ramifications would be. Even as they were standing just outside of Icarus Devices that night, he hadn’t exactly come up with a plan. All he knew was that he would take her to his apartment and they would figure the rest out later. Unfortunately, “the rest” never actually materialized.

A part of him was so ridden with guilt that he couldn’t see straight. Maybe he had been the reason. He had tried to convince her that they could leave the country…run away and become whoever they wanted to be, but Cami had seemed so dead-set on staying close to London. She hadn’t wanted to run away from it all. So week in, week out, she had been cooped up in his tiny apartment, living each day like she was…well, a fugitive.

He shook his head, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets as he walked. He knew where she was…where she had to be: Kolna.

It was a piece of shit.

Kolna looked like something out of a horror movie, he thought, as he ducked into the door. Dorian didn’t stop walking, didn’t lift his head. He knew that this was just as dangerous for him as it was for her. If people hadn't already made the connection between the two of them, it was only a matter of time before they did. And then…well, Dorian didn’t know. Maybe they would arrest him. Maybe they would throw him in here with her.

Maybe it didn’t matter.

He loved her. That was what it all boiled down to. It was the reason all of this was such a hard pill to swallow. Dorian stopped at the first flat and knocked on the door. No answer, just a small creak of the hinges alerted him that the door was open.

As he walked inside, he saw her, curled up on the couch. She looked so much smaller than she had yesterday. “Cami,” it was such a familiar scenario. Dorian was suddenly tugged backward into time…He remembered walking into the training room where she was nursing her wounds that first day on the job. He remembered helping her put the numbing salve on her open wounds. Even further, he was dragged back, remembering how she had pulled him from the very heart of destruction all those years ago. It had been Cami Ridley that had saved him from himself. And he couldn’t save her. This time, it felt like there was nothing he could do.

He had never felt so defeated. Even staring his own death in the face, Dorian had never felt helpless. When he chose to use or drink, it was a choice that he made. But here…here, he had no power. She was stuck. And it very well might be his fault. He knelt down, brushing his hand over her hair and pressing his lips to her forehead.

skinny love Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

Cami hadn’t known what was going to happen. She hadn’t--and she had thought plenty of it through. She had prepared for being tortured because she’d been pretty confident that it would get to that point pretty quickly. A part of her had even prepared for maybe being killed. It wasn’t as if she wanted to die or anything, but she would have been stupid to not at least consider that to be an option. But she had thought that she’d be ready for whatever was going to happen. With restrictions loosening on Muggleborns, she thought that it was safer to be a part of that than in hiding. That just seemed like common sense to her. If things were getting easier on those that were registered, then being a part of that was better than being in hiding when she was bound to get caught eventually. She had hoped that it would keep Dorian safe. He wouldn’t get caught helping her. She didn’t realize how moronic that had been. She had considered so many different scenarios, had thought through what could happen over and over again, had been sure that she’d prepared for anything. But she hadn’t thought about what would happen if Veritaserum was involved. She hadn’t been prepared to be forced to tell the truth about who had been helping her and now she knew that Dorian was in trouble too. That was exactly what she had been trying to avoid. She had turned herself in because she had thought that it was safer on both of them. Him getting hurt because of her was not something that she thought she could live with. And now that might happen. Cami didn’t know what they were going to do to him, or how bad it would be. She didn’t know if he was going to get arrested and chucked in Azkaban for helping him or… what. She hated not knowing what was going to happen. And she hated that she didn’t have a single way to warn him. She had to go back to Kolna. That was what she’d found out. While other Muggleborns had been sent home, she didn’t get that privilege after having run away. She couldn’t warn Dorian when she was stuck here--and she couldn’t go back to his apartment without putting him at more risk. And obviously, she wasn’t sure that she even had it in her to make it all the way back there. The torture that she’d been through at the hands of the aurors’ office was enough to make her hardly want to leave the couch, let alone walk all the way back to Dorian’s to tell him what had happened. If she thought that she could make it there, and that he wouldn’t get in more trouble, then maybe she would have done it. But she thought that they were both probably better off if they kept their distance. She just had to hope that he wasn’t going to get hurt because of her. She had to hope that his family wouldn’t let something like that happen. Hopefully. All that she could really do was lay down and think about making dinner. Maybe she would later but for now closing her eyes had felt like a much better option. She didn’t think that she was going to doze off or anything like that. She hadn’t realized she was that tired. She didn’t know how long she had even been asleep before she felt a hand on her head, and she shifted slightly. For a moment she had forgotten about everything that had happened and had expected to wake up in Dorian’s bed. Instead, when she opened her eyes, she remembered that she was back at Kolna. Dorian, however… was there. Why was he there? “Dorian…” Her voice was groggy as she shifted to sit up. “What are you doing here?” It had only been this morning that she’d left the apartment and had gone to the Ministry and already he was tracking her down? That just put him more at risk and after what had happened today, she didn’t think that he needed to potentially get himself into any more trouble.

In some ways, Dorian understood why she wanted to go back. At least, he partially did. He knew that she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life like a runaway hiding out in his apartment. He knew that she wanted to be back in the Wizarding World and she wanted to go back to her life. He could be a lot of things to her, but Dorian knew that he couldn’t be everything. With the restrictions loosening, now was the best time for her to come back (if that was really what she wanted to do). But he hadn’t wanted her to do it.

Perhaps it was selfish of him, thinking that she would stay. Perhaps it was idealistic. Perhaps he had been living in a momentary fantasy. Either way, she’d done it that morning. And he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t stop wondering if she was hurt…or worse. He’d tried to probe around, asking his friends to ask their friends at the Ministry, but everything was being kept hush-hush. He supposed it was for all those other muggleborns out there who had run away.

But Dorian knew that it was dangerous.

He also knew that coming here was dangerous.

After Cami had turned herself in, he knew that he could easily be traced to her escape and her runaway. He had been the last one to see her and while he had chalked it up to sheer coincidence when he had been interviewed about her whereabouts, visiting her here at Kolna, was an obvious indicator that there was more going on than met the eye. But Dorian didn’t care. What he cared about was her safety — her wellbeing. He cared about making sure that Cami was alright. He cared about her. He loved her.

As her eyes fluttered open, Dorian felt himself relax slightly. She wasn’t dead. And she wasn’t hurt…at least, not to his eye. She seemed…alright. That was all that mattered. That was the reason that he had risked coming here tonight.

“M’sorry, love,” Dorian said, smiling though he didn’t feel like it. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” He gently placed another kiss on her forehead.

She was sitting up and Dorian moved to sit next to her, making a mental note that the couches at Kolna were shit, just like the rest of it. He couldn’t imagine her staying here for Merlin only knew how long. Maybe he could just break her out of here, too…

No, that’s not what she wants, he reminded himself before he focused back on her. “I had t’know that you were alright,” Dorian said, reaching up to scratch at his neck. Since he had been with her, he’d become such a big softy. It was obvious that she had had a profound impact on him. “That they hadn’t…” he paused, looking up at her and then shaking his head. He didn’t want to say ‘killed,’ but that had been his biggest fear. “…hurt you.”

Cut out all the ropes
and let me fall

❧

She should have seen it coming. That was the thought that she couldn’t get out of her mind since she had finally made it back to Kolna. She should have seen it coming. Cami had thought she’d thought through every possible option. She thought that she’d determined every outcome, every single one. And in her mind, it had been worth the risk. If regulations were loosening on Muggleborns, it was better to be on that side of things. It was better to be registered and getting to take advantage of the laxer regulations, than in hiding where she couldn’t even leave Dorian’s apartment. It made sense to her. Getting back to that, if life was going to start getting easier. She thought that maybe they would drop the registration all together, and maybe they just thought that they needed to do a little bit at a time. She wasn’t sure. Cami didn’t consider herself to be an optimist, but there was at least a possibility of that happening.

And if it did, she didn’t want to be on the run, hiding in his apartment, and wondering if she got to be free too if she left. Or if she would get punished for leaving in the first place. She didn’t want to have to worry about that, or wonder. If that meant getting tortured for a little bit, in order to be registered again, then that was what she would do. She was sure that she could handle it. It was an option that she had been incredibly ready to deal with. Physical pain was something that she was used to, and while it had been a while… she had been sure that she could deal with it. That she would get through it. Cami had also known there was a chance that they could just kill her. Obviously, she wasn’t going to go into this situation and not at least consider the absolute worst-case scenario. Getting killed was certainly a possibility.

She had no idea what they did to Muggleborns that ran off, only to come back. Or she hadn’t, at least. Until she had actually gotten there today… until she’d experienced it for herself and realized that there was so much that she hadn’t even considered. Cami had been an idiot. She hadn’t even thought about Veritaserum. She had been sure that Dorian would be safe because she was clearly not going to tell them that he’d been the one that had helped her. She hadn’t thought that they would just have Veritaserum on hand to get the answers out of her. She hadn’t thought at all. Now Dorian was going to get into trouble too and she had no idea what was going to happen. She had put him at risk--anything that happened to him, if he got hurt, if he got sent to Azkaban… it would all be her fault.

Waking up and seeing him standing there, she nearly thought that she’d conjured him up with her mind. She was so worried about what was going to happen to him, that she had gotten him into trouble, that she’d somehow just imagined that he was here. There was no way that he’d actually risk visiting her the day she turned herself in. Right? What if someone was watching? Obviously, they were. If she hadn’t gotten him into trouble already, he certainly would have been risking it all just with this choice alone. And she didn’t want him to get into any more trouble. “It’s all right… I didn’t realize I was so tired.” Usually, she was a pretty light sleeper, so not waking up to him coming in would have been a surprise in any normal circumstances, but these were apparently not normal circumstances.

She knew that she had to tell him. She had to tell him what had happened, and that she might have gotten him into trouble too. Cami had no idea what they did to people that helped harbor Muggleborns. He was a pureblood, but would that protect him enough? There was no way to know. “Dorian…” They had hurt her, of course, but she didn’t want to say that. The bruises weren’t yet visible and most of the cuts were covered, thankfully. But that wasn’t the point. “Dorian, they--” Cami still couldn’t get the words out. He was going to be in trouble, he could get hurt, it was her fault. She had done this. Letting out a sigh, Cami ran a hand over her face and tried to compose herself. “They made me take Veritaserum.” She thought he could figure out what that meant… she hoped that she wouldn’t have to actually say it.

@ dorian

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come on
skinny love

❧

He had wanted them to run away. Dorian had thought it was a good plan — they could run to Russia, or Egypt, America…anywhere that wasn’t the United Kingdom. Anywhere where she wouldn’t be treated like…this. He looked around Kolna, trying not to dwell on it. Her life hadn’t exactly been comfortable while she had been living in his apartment, but he was confident that it hadn’t been horrible, either. She’d had shelter, food, water, a bed, and him. But they could’ve had so much more if they’d just…run. They could have been free. Cami: free from the trials of being a muggleborn. And Dorian: free from the obligations of being a pureblood.

It seemed like a pipe dream now that they were here, sitting in this piece of shit apartment. Dorian knew that they couldn’t have left…it would have never worked. As he grew further away from the man he used to be, Dorian found himself becoming closer to his family. Malcolm wasn’t just an out of reach brother. He had begun trusting him again. Dor was able to watch over Pippa, make friends with Medici (and Anička), and say that he was an uncle to two new babies. He was torn between the love that he had for this woman sitting in front of him and the love that he still felt for his family. It was an impossible choice. One that didn’t have a right answer, especially now.

She had to be exhausted, he thought, looking down at her. Usually, if he so much as moved in the morning, she would be awake. He could only imagine what she had been through over the past twelve hours. She had been miserable as a test subject, he remembered. That night when he’d brought her healing and numbing salve to take care of the pain…she’d looked so helpless. Her eyes conveyed a similar emotion now. He wanted to sweep her into his arms and carry her right out of here. They could be on a train to nowhere in a few hours. But she wouldn’t do it. She would fight him. She wanted to be here — she wanted to be where she felt she was doing the right thing. “Must be hard work after being locked in an apartment for months,” he was trying to make a joke, but Dor’s throat felt scratchy. He couldn’t even laugh.

After her next words, Dorian felt the skin on the back of his neck prickle, hair standing straight up as if someone was running static through his very bloodstream. He knew what it meant — after all, they had tried so hard to keep it a secret. There would be only one thing the pureblood would want to pull out of Cami. And it was who had helped her. It was how she had escaped. And the answer, unfortunately for Dorian, was him.

“They asked how you got out, didn’t they.” It wasn’t a question — just a realization. Dorian wasn’t sure what came next. Prison? Fines? Sentencing in front of the entire court? Public Humiliation? Was there a precedent for things like this? Leaning forward, Dorian put his face in his hands. It wasn’t her fault, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but feel…like they were both going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble.

@camille

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Cut out all the ropes
and let me fall

❧

Dorian had saved her. That was all there was to it. He had saved her on a night where she thought she wouldn’t have made it until sunrise. It was the night that she was supposed to die--the night where maybe she should have died. But she hadn’t. He had gotten her out of that place, had taken her to his apartment and… he had saved her. That was all there was to it. If he hadn’t gotten her out of there when he had, then she would be dead. She was sure of it. For months, they had been figuring things out. He would take her out on picnics and to look at dragons--countries away where it was safe. It reminded her of how it could have been. Of how it should have been if life was different.

Or if she would agree to actually run away with him. To another country, to somewhere where they didn’t have to hide. She would still be a fugitive, but getting a Muggleborn on foreign soil was a lot different than getting one that was still in the United Kingdom. As little as she actually knew about politics, she was quite sure there was plenty of red tape when it came to what an auror could or couldn’t do to get a Muggleborn in a different country. Maybe they should have gone. Those glimpses into a different reality had been nice.

But they hadn’t been real. It didn’t change what she was, who she was. It just… it didn’t.

Cami couldn’t claim to be the bravest person in the world. She wasn’t. But she knew that she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life running, even if it was with Dorian. Even if she was quite sure that she loved him, and that they could make each other happy no matter where they were. Cami thought that this was real, that this relationship--this complicated, indescribable relationship, needed a chance to be real. A chance that they could only have if she wasn’t dependent on him for survival. It wasn’t fair to either of them.

To her, it made sense to choose the answer that wasn’t running. That wasn’t hiding. She had done enough of that. Cami had thought that she could handle this. She thought that she could get through whatever torture they had in mind after turning herself back in. Pain was just pain. Merlin knew that she had experienced more than her fair share of pain over the years. This was no different. That was what she had told herself. She would get through it. Pain was only temporary, and then she could move forward with her life. They could figure things out, if that was what Dorian wanted to do.

Cami would understand if he didn’t. She would understand if he didn’t want his whole family to know that he was with a Muggleborn. Her being a fugitive in his apartment meant that their relationship had been a complete secret. It would be out in the open if she went back to her apartment in Kolna. If he chose for it to be, then people were going to know. But that would be his choice. She would understand if he didn’t want to subject himself to… all of this.

What she hadn’t expected was to rope him into her shit. She hadn’t expected Veritaserum. She hadn’t thought that she would get him into any trouble. But she had. The Ministry knew that he had helped her now. There was no fixing that. Whatever happened to him was her fault. It was just a matter of telling him that. “No, it’s not that. Just a… long day.” She hadn’t even gone to work today. After they had finished interrogating and torturing her, she had gotten to come back here. Not that she was going to tell Dorian that. Not the torture part, anyway.

Her heart dropped from her chest when he guessed it. She knew that he would. She knew that they should have known better--that she should have known better. Why hadn’t she thought about the lengths that they would go to in order to figure out how she’d gotten away and how she had stayed hidden. She should have known. “I’m--I’m so sorry. I was such an idiot, I--” Cami never would have willingly given away her secrets, Dorian’s secrets… never. She’d had a story all planned out to tell them. She hadn’t thought that they would dig deeper. She had thought that Dorian would be safe. Cami never would have done this if she had thought that she would get him into trouble too.

@ dorian

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come on
skinny love

❧

It wasn’t really time for jokes, Dorian knew that. But it was a coping mechanism. Cami didn’t seem to be much in the mood, he noted. “M’sorry,” he said, wrapping his arms around her momentarily. It felt…right. There were days when Dorian wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. He had helped a muggleborn escape. After everything that his family had tried to teach him about what it meant to be a pureblood…Malcolm was a Death Eater, after all…. and Dorian had helped Camille Ridley, a muggleborn, escape from her punishment.

But he knew that he couldn’t stand for it. From the moment that he had seen her on the floor of Icarus Devices, Dorian knew that he had to do something. She had been the one that had pulled him out of a very similar situation all those years ago, so he felt as if he owed it to her. When it had first happened, it hadn’t even been about her being born of two muggles. It had everything to do with who she was as a human being, not who she had been born to. For a brief time, he had thought that it was a fluke. He liked Cami because he knew Cami. The fact that she was a muggleborn was simply…irrelevant.

As the months progressed, Dorian found himself questioning even those ideologies. What if there was more to being a witch or wizard than just your blood status. What if it truly didn’t matter what you were or to whom you had been born? Dorian wasn’t sure that there was any evidence that they — a pureblood family from the Sacred 28 — were anything better than the Muggleborns that were still being housed at Kolna. So he was left questioning his own stance on things — left questioning if he felt this way because of Cami or if Cami had opened his eyes to the reality of the situation. Dorian wasn’t quite sure. All he knew was that his family would be disappointed either way.

And, apparently, they were to find out.

He knew that it wasn’t her fault. If they had used the truth serum, there was nothing she could have done to override it. Maybe if they had obliviated the memories… then again, Dorian wasn’t sure he would want that. He couldn’t imagine a world in which Cami didn’t remember him and didn’t remember what had happened over the past few months.

Dorian held her a few more seconds before he let go and stared up at the ceiling. They would come for him…and then what? He wouldn’t lie. He couldn’t lie. If they had used Veritaserum on her, it was likely that they would do the same to him. And then what? The truth would come spilling out like leaking oil in his Daimler SP250. She blamed herself...Dorian sucked in a breath, turning towards her and cupping her face in his hands. He tried to smile. "No, Merlin, don't blame yourself, Cam," Dorian shook his head. "This...was never my best idea." He realized how bad that sounded and backpedaled. "Not saving you. Merlin. I just meant...figuring out what we would do next."

@ cami | 530

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[attr="class","ctopline"]Come on skinny love just last the year

[attr="class","cscriptmud"]pour a little salt we were never here

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[attr="class","clyrics"]My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my[break]
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

[break][break]

[attr="class","cbody"]She had just wanted to be…
[break][break]
Merlin, she didn’t even know.
[break][break]
Whatever lucky that she thought that she’d had in turning herself in today just felt absolutely foolish in light of everything that had happened. Cami had wanted to be… proactive. Was that it? She wasn’t even sure. She had wanted to be on the right side of everything that had happened. When the new Minister had taken over, she had wondered if being in hiding was the best, but not much had changed so she had determined that it had been.
[break][break]
But with news of the curfew lifting, of them being able to go back to their homes instead of living in that horrible ghetto, she had thought… well, she had thought that maybe it was going to be the start of more changes. Changes that would eventually have their lives going back to normal, and she wanted to be on the right side of that.
[break][break]
If she was in hiding, then she was always going to be looking over her shoulder, peeking out the window, wondering when they were going to get caught. But if she turned herself in, then eventually… who knew what was going to happen? Maybe this was closer to being over than they even realized. She didn’t want to have to come out of hiding at the end and find out that it didn’t apply to her because she was a fugitive, because she had run off and broken the law.
[break][break]
Maybe that made no sense. At this point, she wasn’t sure that it did.
[break][break]
But she had thought a lot about it, and she had thought that it was for the best. It saved Dorian from getting into trouble if they were eventually caught, it saved him from worrying about what would happen if his family showed up for a surprise visit and a Muggleborn runaway was sitting on his couch. It would make everything easier on him, and that was what mattered most to her. That was what had had her going to the Ministry to turn herself in. It was for the best. That was what she had told herself.
[break][break]
That just felt stupid now. Stupid, naïve, and hundreds of other words that highlighted her absolute idiocy in thinking that this was going to help them. Cami had thought that she’d gone through every possible situation, everything that could go wrong, but it had somehow slipped her mind that they might go to extreme means to figure out where she had been.
[break][break]
It had completely slipped her mind that she might get Dorian into trouble, if she didn’t have the power to stop herself from telling the truth and that was exactly what had happened.
[break][break]
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
[break][break]
It was all she could think as Dorian wrapped his arms around her, and she did the same, pressing against him as she wrapped her arms around him. How much trouble had she gotten him into? What was going to happen now? She didn’t know if he was going to get arrested, if he was going to get sent to Azkaban or chucked in these apartments with her or what. She wanted to think that they wouldn’t do anything too extreme. He was still a pureblood. He was still one of them. But if they wanted to make an example out of him, then it could all end very badly.
[break][break]
Him being here was probably not good. She should really tell him to leave, and keep his distance, in hopes that that helped somehow. But she couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth to say that. She was glad to see him. It made this horrible day a little less awful to even just have him near her, which was completely unfair of her after everything that had happened today. “I wasn’t exactly helpful in figuring that out either…” He would have left, he would have fled the country and gone with her anywhere in the world--Romania, maybe, she knew that he liked it there. But a part of her hadn’t felt right about running. She didn’t quite know why. And look where that had gotten them.
[break][break]

[attr="class","cnotes"]695 ● @ dorian ● outfit

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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skinny love

[attr="class","reasonsmall1"]WHO WILL LOVE YOU? WHO WILL FIGHT? WHO WILL FALL FAR BEHIND? COME ON SKINNY LOVE

[attr="class","reasonbod1"]Where did they go from here? Dorian really wasn’t sure. Was there anything they could do? He couldn’t break her out of here…not again. He had been her knight in shining armor once, but this was what she wanted now. She wanted to turn herself in so she was on the right side of the law. Not that he could really blame her. Dorian got it – he understood. But he didn’t want it to be this way. Lester was going to get word of what had happened and who knew what would happen after that. Would he drop the hammer on the troublesome youngest Nott? The answer was probably. But Dorian didn’t know the extent of it all.

Perhaps he would forbid Dorian to see Cami – forbid him to visit her here at Kolna. Would he listen? Lester was a fool if he thought that Dorian would stay away just like that… He’d always had an addictive personality. Even growing up, it was so easy for Dorian to fall into things. Dark Arts when he’d been young, cars, women…Leisel. Drugs, dragons... It was just who he was.

They probably thought that one day he would grow out of it. One day, he’d see that he was running his life by choosing these things over everything else. But he never did. Dorian never saw the light at the end of the tunnel because he was comfortable in the darkness. He was comfortable in his addictions. Maybe it was because he could blame his bad behavior on them. His actions never just fell on Dorian Nott. They were covered up with excuses: oh, it’s Dorian’s temperament – it’s Dorian’s addiction. Excuses.

He didn’t want to live like that anymore, though. He was tired of living behind a veil of thin excuses to get away with whatever he wanted. Dorian wanted sobriety. He wanted a life with Cami. And for once in his life, it had nothing to do with his addictive personality.

They would figure something out – they had to. He wasn’t just going to let her rot here as a test subject for the rest of her life. Dorian would figure something out. Merlin, he would even petition the Minister if he had to. Surely the Nott name had some pull with Andromeda Lestrange, didn’t it? Though he doubted she would entertain any sort of leniency when it came to a muggleborn.

But they wouldn’t run anymore. Dorian was so tired of running – whether it was off to Romania to drink his life away or just to his apartment so he could hide Cami away from the rest of the world – he didn’t want to do it anymore. No, It would be them against the world. “Honestly, I didn’t expect that we would even get this far,” he’d been expecting them to be found out way before now. “We’ll figure out way out of this one, somehow.” There was reassurance in his voice – like Dorian actually believed what he was saying.

“Who knows, this could be a tide shift for the whole muggleborn thing altogether,” he wasn’t sure what the Ministry had planned, but if they were lessening the regulations, maybe it was only a matter of time before they were in the clear.

[attr="class","reasontag1"]@ cami | 542 | OUTFIT

[attr="class","cred1"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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