If I told you all the stupid things I've done

This was not a conversation that she thought that she would ever have to have with Lincoln Orville. Being parents wasn't exactly on the list of things that she had planned on them doing with their lives, even when they had been together. This was not something that either one of them needed now, or had wanted then. If she were being honest, Zoë wasn't entirely convinced that she wanted it now. It was still very fresh. It was still very raw in her head, and she didn't think that there was any way to just accept it. She was going to have to accept it. It was the reality of the situation that she was in. She. Her. Alone. She was in this mess. She was doing the right thing, telling him, but she wasn't convinced that she wanted help, even if he offered it. She could do this. She could handle this. And the Zoë Armstrong that had existed up until this point in her life hadn't been that person. She would have been the person that didn't do this the right way. That made mistakes. That screwed all of this up all over the place. In all honesty, she was still that person. She still didn't want to do this, not really. She didn't even know if she was going to get to. It all depended on what Lady Macmillan could do. If she could help.  And that was a big if. Zoë knew that that was a big if. There was a chance that she was going to go to work, and get hurt in a way that made all of this go away. That caused things to fall apart, and she didn't know if that was falling apart, or just exactly what it was. It was something. If she wasn't worried about it though, she didn't know that she would have risked going and saying anything at all. This was messy, and complicated, and she didn't know what to do. There was nothing to do. She was pregnant, and it was a word that she had had to say out loud too many times over the last couple of days. That was a word that she didn't want to think about at all. Pregnant was not something that she had ever intended to be. There were never kids in the plans. But being a prisoner, and a test subject were never in the plans either. All of this, this entire year of her life, had led her up to this point, and no matter how free or not they were, everything right now, had changed.  She couldn't go back, she couldn't just erase all of this from happening, and Merlin knew that she would if she thought that it was possible. She thought that she would have given just about anything to go back, and do it all over again. She might not even have registered. She just could have disappeared. Celebrities did it all the time. She could have vanished into some muggle suburb somewhere, and that could have been then end of it. She could have gone to New York, or LA, and she could have just been normal. Another pop star that was making it big, and for some reason just refusing to tour in Europe. That wouldn't have been that hard, but she knew that that wasn't going to work. That it hadn't worked then for a reason. That there would never be a time when she thought that she was going to get away with that, and that it was going to all fall into place. People would have turned her in, just for the money. The reward that came with turning a mudblood in was enough for a couple of hits of the good stuff, and they would have sold her out for less. That much she knew.  Junkies and days on the road were going to have to be a thing of the past. There was not a single maternal bone in her body. Or at least she didn't think that there was. But she knew that this kid hadn't asked for her as a mother. Crappy at it as she thought that she was going to be. It hadn't asked to be brought into this world. They had done this, they had made the choices that had led them to this. And there was only telling him about it left now. Zoë didn't really know if he would come, but she had sent him a text, asking him to come here, and meet her. A quiet bar, on the outskirts of the city. No one from the world that she had spent all day trying to disappear in was going to know them here. And no one from the muggle world was going to look twice at the girl sitting alone in a booth on the wall, watching the door, and drinking a glass of tonic water... When the door opened again, and she looked up, she made eye contact with him. Those blue eyes were unmistakable, even across the room. He had come.

Zoë's Outfit

@lincoln

I've blamed on being young
But I was old enough to know

OUTFIT

He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

The entire world was crashing down on Lincoln Orville and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

How could he have been so careless with Izzy? He knew that she was…inexperienced. They should have been more careful. He should have been more careful. How could have possibly thought that —

It didn’t matter. He couldn’t dwell on what happened or he would be kicking himself for the next eighteen and a half years.

They were going to have to move past it.

The letter had come after he had gone home for the night. Izzy had fallen asleep early on the couch, Link playing with her hair, his mind in a thousand different places. Did he want a kid? Honestly, he didn’t know. It wasn’t like Link didn’t want to be a father. There had always been a part of him that wanted to be a dad. He wanted to be better than his own father…actually be there for his kid. But at the same time, there was a part of him that was still a party boy. There was a part of him that had gotten blackout drunk just a few weeks ago with Zoë Armstrong because he could. Was that guy going to make a good dad? He somehow doubted it.

He’d probably be a deadbeat. Someone Izzy wouldn’t even want to stay with…Merlin’s Beard, he couldn’t imagine Izzy wanting to raise a kid with someone like him. She was so…good. And he was so…well, damn near unpredictable. He wasn’t there all the time, he had a hectic schedule, he was usually up all night writing plays or drills or drinking until he couldn’t see straight. But he had told her he wanted this. He was going to work for this. And he had meant it.

He would start tomorrow. New leaf and all that. But tonight, there was something else on his agenda and it involved a very large bottle of whiskey.

When he got back to his apartment, it was there waiting for him. He recognized the delicate handwriting and the bar’s address and — without so much as a second thought — he’d gone to meet Zoë. Link pushed the door of the bar open and started searching for her. Was it desperation? Maybe. Maybe he just wanted to let off some steam — he knew that Zoë would be able to help. She was always able to help. Maybe they could drink until they were blackout….because that had ended so well last time. “Glad you owled,” he said, pulling up the barstool next to her and taking a seat. He found that he couldn’t stop shaking his head — he was still in shock. “You won’t believe the night I’ve had, Zo. Whiskey on the rocks and an amaretto sour.” The bartender slid over two drinks and Link immediately clinked his glass against hers before he swallowed the whiskey whole.

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[attr="class","senseshovtab"]tagged: @ link

[attr="class","senseshovtab"]zoë's outfit

[attr="class","senseshovtab"]828

if i told you

[attr="class","sensesborder"]

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[attr="class","sensestextbox"]This was not a conversation that they were ever supposed to have had. It hadn’t been a message that she had wanted to send. But Zoë had sent it because there wasn’t another choice. He had to know. He got to know these things. Because she had made her choice. She had gone to the Ministry today, she had talked to Lady Macmillian. She was going to figure it out. Something. They were going to have to do something. She was going to come up with something. Because Zoë wasn’t going to kill this kid. It wasn’t their kid’s fault that it’s mum was scum to these people. It wasn’t this kid’s fault that it existed at all. But she didn’t think that they were going to do anything to hurt it. She knew that they were cruel. She knew that they were cold, and calculating, and that they didn’t care about them. But this was a kid. A kid that hadn’t even had a chance to be a kid yet. Zoë knew that her number one priority right now, couldn’t be herself. She had spent her entire life looking out for number one, but she wasn’t the one that was important right now.

That was why she was here. That was why she was telling him at all. Because if she was going to tell him anything, it was that he was going to have a kid. She was having his kid. And he could do what he wanted with that. She didn’t want anything from him. Not really. She just wanted him to know. She didn’t need money, or a house, or anything else that women that did this wanted from the guys that got them pregnant. Sure, she wasn’t in the best position in the world, being a muggleborn and all that, but there were worse things. There were worse times. And right now, she thought that she would take this little bit of an upswing as a good thing for this kid. Having a kid in Kolna wouldn’t have been a good idea. She thought maybe she would have made a different choice. But the apartment… The apartment was safe, and it was home, and she could take care of a kid there. Did she know what she was doing? No. Of course not. Did she have anyone to help her? No, of course not. Did she think that she could do it anyway? Hell yes.

Where her confidence was coming from she didn’t know… One minute she thought that this was the end of the world. That this was the worst thing that could have happened, and the next she was certain that she could do this. Was she going to be a good mum? She didn’t know. Did she even really want to be a mum? No. Or at least, she hadn’t. Not until the stupid stick had turned blue, and she was one. She was already a mum. The moment that this kid existed, she was a mum. And now she had to grow up. She had to figure it out. And that meant that the alcohol had to go. That the drugs she had finally weaned herself off of, couldn’t come back into the picture. Ever. Things had to change. Zoë had to grow up. And the first part of growing up, of actually acting like a parent, was telling the other half of this kid’s DNA that it existed. So, she had sent him a note. And she had told him to meet her here, and if he showed up, then she would tell him, and if not, she supposed she’d try again. Because she would tell him.

Zoë had seen him come in and she had moved from the table booth in the corner to the bar. They didn’t need to sit in the back. They could sit up here, and he could have a drink, and she could listen to him talk. She could let him get whatever was on his mind out there in the open, and off of his chest, and then she could tell him. Because she didn’t want to tell him and ruin everything. She would let him talk for a while first. That seemed like the move. When he ordered for her she didn’t say a word. She wasn’t going to drink that. She couldn’t. But she wasn’t going to correct him either. She had been drinking the same thing since Hogwarts. Ordering something else now, something as odd as water in a bar… that would make him suspicious. “That bad huh?” She nodded to the bartender in thanks when he set the glasses down, and tapped hers to his, but she didn’t lift it any higher than that, “What happened?” Somehow, she thought that it would have to do with Izzy, and she really didn’t want to know, but friends. They were being friends. And friends asked about stuff like that.

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I'VE BLAMED ON
BEING YOUNG BUT
I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW

❧

He couldn’t get it all straight.

Lincoln was going to be a dad.

He was going to be the worst dad. The absolute worst dad in the entire universe of the world. He never had a good role model growing up, he was too self-absorbed and career-focused to even be a dad. And there was nothing he could do to change all of that.

He knew that wasn’t true. Lincoln was lying to make himself feel better. It was selfish, but he wanted a reason to say that he wouldn’t be good at this. He wanted an excuse because truth be told, he wasn’t ready. He was only in his early thirties and he’d never thought about having kids, really. Even when Izzy had brought it up a few times, he’d dismissed it as her “nesting” instincts, or something like that. He wasn’t the kind of guy that had these crazy aspirations of becoming a father. He just wasn’t. Link would rather drink beer, watch Quidditch, and party until the sun came up with the woman he loved. A baby…a kid complicated all that. With a child, they wouldn’t be able to do whatever they pleased, whenever they pleased.

Link took his drink and practically poured it down his throat. When the glass was empty, he slammed it onto the bar’s counter and coughed loudly. He was going to regret all of this in the morning. The drinking, the hangover, the telling Izzy that he had slept with Zoë right after she had announced that she was pregnant. All of it. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he just wouldn’t remember at all. That probably wasn’t what a good father would say, but right now, Link wasn’t sure that he even cared. “That bad,” he muttered when he finally regained some of his composure. He wouldn’t be surprised if the paparazzi caught them hanging around together for the second time. It didn’t matter now – now that Izzy knew what he had done.

He wasn’t even sure where to start, but he somehow knew that Zoë would understand. She always understood. Even though they hadn’t been together in years – even though they’d grown so far apart over that time – she always understood him. She was the person that knew him best. Not Donna, not his deadbeat father, but Zoë. “Izzy’s pregnant,” he said, finally, leaning forward and burying his face in his hands. He could be real with her. His voice was desperate, almost as if he wished someone would jump out of the woodwork and tell him that it was all some sort of sick joke. But he had no such luck, the bar was about as quiet as it had been when they first walked in. Link raised his finger to the bartender, only then revealing his face. He was flushed, pink with embarrassment and stress. “She’s fucking pregnant and the first thing I told her was that I slept with you.”

It hadn’t been smart, in hindsight. But Link had needed Izzy to know. Especially now that she was having his kid. He’d needed her to know the truth, the whole truth. And that meant that he had slept with Zoë a few weeks back. Of course, she’d left right after that. Slapped him square on the jaw and left. He deserved it, he knew. He fucking deserved it. The bartender put the second glass down in front of him and Link immediately lifted it to Zoë’s. He wanted to get sloshed. “Cheers, yeah? Cheers to being a bloody da.” He felt confused – bitter, sad, stressed. He felt everything he was sure a new father wasn’t supposed to feel. But he knew Zoë would understand – he knew that she would have something to say to him that could make this all feel a bit brighter.

@ zoë | 637

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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If I told you

I barely know what love is

But boy if that's what this is

Determination. That was what was going to raise this kid. Because Zoë certainly didn’t actually know anything about raising a kid. She didn’t know anything about being maternal, and loving, and warm. Right now, the witch was just banking on the fact that she was going to know what they do when they handed her her baby. That it was just going to be instinct that pushed her forwards. That told her what to do. She had never really relied on anyone but herself. At least not since everything with Link had fallen apart. And she hadn’t had anyone else to really lean on. But she was fine. She didn’t need anyone to lean on. She was good. She had friends, obviously. She had Alice, and she had Cami. And they were her friends. But she didn’t think that she was going to need to rely on them any time soon. Not like she would have relied on Link.

Still. That wasn’t an option.

And there was no sense in dwelling on what she knew that she couldn’t have. Because Link wasn’t hers to have anymore. There was something with Izzy, and that was, well, that was whatever. He could choose that, if that was what made him happy. Zoë wasn’t convinced that that was what was going to make him happy, but that wasn’t her place to judge. She was going to be his friend. They were friends now. And she was just going to support him in that, strange, relationship he had picked out for himself. But she had to tell him this. Because this kid was his. She knew that for sure. There was no other option. Zoë hadn’t been with anyone else for months. Options hadn’t been that great in Kolna, after all. But Link hadn’t been Kolna. Link had been after release. It had been familiar.

That was the worst part. That even after all of this time, it hadn’t felt wrong to end up in bed together. It had felt kind of right. And she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t let it feel right. That was never going to be okay. Because he wasn’t hers. He wasn’t hers to have, he was Izzy’s, and she wasn’t going to get in the way. She was just trying to be honest.

Seeing him right now though, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to tell him. Not if he was already having what looked like a miserable day. She didn’t want to make it worse. Because this could wait. She could wait a couple of days. They could get drinks again. Or he could. Because she wasn’t going to drink the amaretto that had just been set down in front of her. Zoë watched him for a minute, trying to decide what it was that was bothering him. It wasn’t his family. He would have told her that by now. He would have come in here ranting about Donna, or Van. He would have had something to say. But this wasn’t that. This was something else. Something she didn’t have the clues to figure out yet.

“What?” She heard the words come out of his mouth, and she should have had something more eloquent to say, but in that moment the floor fell out from underneath of her. Izzy was pregnant? That was… Well… That was… It was a good thing, she supposed. But the way that he was taking it told her that he hadn’t been expecting it, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him the truth. She was too. “No!” Zoë felt her eyes go wide, “She said she was pregnant and you told her about me?” It had been night. One very drunk night. But he had still told her, and she didn’t know what to do with that information. He didn’t have to tell her that, and he had, he had been honest with her.

She didn’t know what to do, or what to say? What do you say to that? What were you supposed to say when you were pregnant too? When the butterflies in your stomach were well on their way to becoming two tiny feet? Because she was having his kid too… She was pregnant… “Cheers.” She lifted her glass to his and tapped it to the side before she put it back down. “To being parents when we least expect it and are totally unprepared.” She smiled a little bit, “We’ll figure it out, Seeker. We always do.” They hadn’t, they had given up once before. But Zoë thought that this time was different. There was no giving up this time.

@ link • 775 • zoë's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

I'VE BLAMED ON
BEING YOUNG BUT
I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW

❧

It was strange how thankful Link was to have Zoë back in his life. For the period of time that she had been gone, he hadn’t realized just how much he had missed her. Fast forward a few years and he was running through the Dumbledore Conservation Park and nearly ran right into her. It had seemed, after that, that things had fallen back into place. Sure, it was awkward. How could it not have been? They hadn’t exactly broken things off on the best of terms. Link had been spiraling and Zoë had tried to be there for him, but in the end, there was nothing that could be done. He had to run his own course. And run he had. For years, it had seemed like nothing would tether Lincoln again. He wouldn’t be the man that he had once been – successful and in love – ever again. At least, until he had run into Izzy Cavanaugh at the coffee shop a few months ago.

Things had shifted after that. He’d made an effort to settle down and to get to know her. She was innocent – angelic, even. She wasn’t the sort of girl that he typically saw himself with, but that was what made her so interesting. It was as if she had some sort of invisible pull on him. He wanted to know everything about her because he had never known someone like her. He’d never taken the time to get to know a woman like that.

Of course, that was what had him trapped. Love. Bloody love. How was he supposed to contend with that? Not that he wanted to escape, but even if he did…even if he wanted to run as far away from this baby and these responsibilities as he could, Link knew that there was no way to get away. He was already in over his head. He loved Izzy. And that made things all the more complicated.

Complicated because he had indeed slept with Zoë just a few weeks ago. It had been a momentary lapse in judgment, he assured himself. But a part of him wondered if he had wanted it. No, Link shook his head, trying to free himself from such thoughts. It hadn’t been that. It had just been the allure of his old life. With the cameras snapping pictures and the drunken stupor, it had just felt like old times. And old times meant that they checked into a hotel and…

Link polished off his drink with no problem, grimacing as the whiskey burned the back of his throat. “Oh yeah. Didn’t even think about it before it was coming out of my mouth. ‘I’m pregnant,’ she said and then my dumb arse blurted that we were shagging at the Adria that night.” Link tipped forward, putting his head on the countertop of the bar. He didn't need to admit that it was a good shag. He certainly didn't want to think about it. He couldn’t look at Zoë. Maybe because he was afraid that he would see something…else. Maybe because he was afraid that he would see that little twinkle in her eye like he’d seen a few weeks back. The sort of spark that had been there all along. The one that he was so desperately trying to ignore.

As he lifted his head for her toast, Link couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly. Even though it seemed like the whole world was going to hell, he could always count on Zoë for a good chuckle. However, his smile faltered when she called him Seeker. There were those memories, again. Threatening to unhinge something that he needed to keep tightly locked away. “Parents, hah,” he lifted his hand and ordered another drink, desperate for something to keep his mind off of all of this. Maybe they could just get drunk tonight. That would certainly make him feel better, he thought. “I’d be a horrible dad. I’m going to be a horrible dad.” He muttered, looking over at her. “Never once in our whole relationship did you think, Yeah, that Link, he’s going to be a good father. Because you knew better. Izzy has no bloody idea.”

@ pop star | 701

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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[newclass=.cred a]color:rgb(132, 132, 132);font-size:6pt;letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass]

if i told you

I BARELY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

but boy if that's what this is

Learning to rely on other people for anything had never really been something that Zoë had done. Growing up she hadn’t had anyone to rely on, and then the one person she had let in had hurt her. And he was also the one person that she was going to share something with for the rest of her life. She was going to have a kid. His kid. And that connected them. That meant that they were going to be in this together, in a way. Some small way. Because she wasn’t going to ask him for anything. She didn’t need his help. She wasn’t going to rely on him again. That would never do.

Zoë didn’t need to rely on anyone. She was good. She could do this. This kid was what was going to keep her on the straight and narrow now. Because if there was one thing that she wanted, it was to give this kid a better life than she had had. And she knew that she could do that. She could be a better mum than her own mum had been. Because she was going to care. She was going to understand magic. There weren’t going to be any asylums. Or psych wards. There weren’t going to be any strait jackets. She was going to be supportive, and kind, and warm. She was going to learn how to do this. She was going to learn how to be a mum that this kid deserved. Because it hadn’t asked to exist. It hadn’t asked for them to get drunk and be dumb. But they had. And now here it was.

The little flutter in her stomach that was their baby. She couldn’t feel it yet. There wasn’t even a bump. But she was pregnant. And she felt that in a completely different way. They were having a kid. She was having a kid. And she had texted him, asked him to come here, and meet her, so she could tell him that. Only to realize that Izzy had beaten her to it. Of course, she had. Of course, this would happen to her. Izzy was pregnant too. And Zoë didn’t want to get in the way of that. He could have his perfect little family, if that was what he wanted. But she thought that it couldn’t have bene all that he wanted. Izzy? And a kid? And everything else? He wasn’t the white picket fence type. He never had been.

Zoë had wanted to tell him and tell him that she was keeping it. But that she didn’t expect anything from him. It would be up to him what he wanted to do when it came to their kid. Now she didn’t even know how to tell him. How did she tell him, when he was already freaking out about this? How did she tell him that she was pregnant too? She hadn’t thought that she was going to use this to get him back. She wasn’t even sure that she had wanted him back. She had wanted him. There was no denying that. But she didn’t know if she would have risked getting hurt like that again. Risked the spiral that it had sent her down last time. Zoë had been a mess, losing him. But he hadn’t come after her. And that had been enough to tell her that she wasn’t as important to him as he had been to her.

“Jesus Link…” Of all of the things that he could have said. Of all of the things that could have come out of his mouth right after Izzy had told him that. “That was what you thought to say?” She shook her head and waved the bartender down, “Can I get a glass of water, please?” She didn’t think that she was going to make it through the rest of this conversation without something to drink, and she couldn’t actually have a drink. So, water was better than nothing.

When the bartender put it down in front of her Zoë wrapped her hands around it and she looked over at Link. What was he going to do? What were they all going to do? “No, I didn’t think that. We were young, and stupid. The last thing that we could have done was have a kid.” She believed that, they couldn’t have handled a kid back then. “Now though? I think we can do it. You’re going to be a good dad. We’re going to count on instincts kicking in, or something.” There, she hadn’t exactly told him. But we implied that she had to learn too, right?

@ seeker • 776 • zoë's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[attr="class","reasonlink"]

[attr="class","reasonbglink"]

[attr="class","reasonbiglink"]

if i told you

[attr="class","reasonsmalllink"]I'VE BLAMED ON BEING YOUNG BUT I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW

[attr="class","reasonbodlink"]Link wanted to slam back a few shots at the thought of what he’d done. Admitting to Izzy that he’d slept with Zoë right after she’d announced that she was pregnant? Probably the worst thing he could’ve done. Probably the worst thing anyone had ever done, he thought as he reached up and ran a hand over his brow. He wasn’t meant for stuff like this…monogamy, marriage, dating, children. Christ, he was more a child than most people and now he was…having one? Fuck it, he thought, taking his drink as a shot anyway. If he came home drunk, at least it wouldn’t surprise Izzy. She’d gone.

Maybe it was karmic justice or something of the like. Just the world punishing for leading with his pants instead of with his head. If he’d been smart, he would’ve used something…Merlin’s Beard, what had he thought? That Izzy, the virgin, was taking some sort of Birth Control potion? Idiot!

He still wasn’t sure this was what he wanted. He’d spent years and years running from a long-term relationship after Zoë, afraid of getting his heart broken. And now what? Now he was going to…marry Izzy? The alcohol was getting to his brain faster than he cared to admit.

He didn’t want to think about marriage. He didn’t want to think about kids, either, but that didn’t seem like much of an option now that Izzy had revealed that she was knocked up. Link brought his fist down on the bar in front of him before raising a finger to the bartender and ordering another drink. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe after all these years, he deserved a kid that was going to make him settle down and actually become a better man. Because he’d never, in his entire life, thought this was something he’d wanted.

Link paused, looking over at her carefully. Was she serious? She actually thought this was a good idea? If someone had told him that he would be discussing kids and the like with his pop star ex-girlfriend from ten years ago, he’d have tossed them off his pitch for being ridiculous. But this was no dream…as much as Link wished that it was.

“Kid’s going to grow up with issues. A dad that’s more interested in Quidditch scores than changing diapers unless my “instincts” kick in,” he said, shaking his head. He believed that. He was probably going to be a dead-beat dad. He’d never even had a real one of his own, growing up. His father was more interested in keeping up pureblood appearances than he was with hanging out with his bastard son.

But Zoë had faith in him and, as much as Link wanted to say that the way she felt about him had no bearing, he would be lying. He regarded her opinion highly, even now. She’d always been his sounding board and, no matter what happened between them, Link believed they would always be friends.

“I’m still young and stupid. The only thing that’s changed is I’ve started greying up top,” He’d yet to actually see a grey, but Link figured now that he was having a kid, it was only a matter of time before he became a silver fox.

[attr="class","reasontaglink"]@ zo | 539 | OUTFIT

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IF I TOLD YOU

I BARELY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS

BUT BOY IF THAT'S WHAT THIS IS

Her life up until now hadn’t been smooth sailing, and Zoë thought that this was probably even more rocky than she had expected. She didn’t think that there was any part of this that wasn’t going to make her a little crazy. She was having a kid, his kid, and she was a test dummy for whatever it was that they were working on, and she didn’t know what to think about that. She didn’t know what to do.

Tell him.

That was what she was supposed to be doing right now. She was supposed to be telling him that she was pregnant. But how she was supposed to do that when he was already worried about his girlfriend being pregnant… Zoë thought that she was in a right state to make decisions like that. She was going to have to tell him something. He couldn’t just not know. But she didn’t know what to say either. Was she just supposed to come out and say it? Did that make it better, or worse? Maybe she didn’t say anything. Maybe they just let it go.

But could she do that? Did Zoë really think that she could just let this go and not tell him that she was carrying his baby? They hadn’t planned on having kids ten years ago. But everything had changed since then, and she didn’t think that there was any reason to believe that things weren’t going to be different now. If Izzy hadn’t been pregnant, she would have told him. She would have told him in a heartbeat. She wanted him to know. There was a part of her that couldn’t help but think that this was how it should have been. That they should have always ended up here.

Not like this though. This wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to steal him away from the possibility of a real family. She didn’t want him to think that she was trying to ruin anything. She wasn’t. Zoë would do all of this on her own. She could handle it. But she didn’t think that it was fair to not tell him at all. The baby was his. And she was her. Someone would notice that she was pregnant sooner or later. The world was not going to miss the fact that Zoë Armstrong was pregnant. This world, or the muggle one. And she was going to have some explaining to do.

She was going to have to tell them something, or she was going to have to put something on the birth certificate. And there was really only the one option. There was really only ever Link. Zoë didn’t think… Well, she didn’t know. It was hard to know. But she didn’t think that she would have kept the baby if it wasn’t his. She didn’t want to put herself through all of this, especially right now. Especially with the way of the world that they lived in. Bringing a baby into all of this mess… It wasn’t something that she thought that she could actually pull off without getting hurt. And she wasn’t about to make it worse on herself for just anyone.

For him though? She would have his baby. “I’m sure your instincts will be fine. We can’t have our kids growing up with parents like ours after all. We have to do better.” Her own parents had been, less than understanding, about the fact that she had magic in her veins. And she knew that his father had always been disinterested in him, and that Tara Parkinson had ended up raising him more than anyone else. Zoë shook her head at him, “I think that’s okay. You’re allowed to be young and stupid. No one really knows what they’re doing. And you’ve always been a pretty good improviser.”

@ i'm pregnant link • 639 • zoë's outfit

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