Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2018 18:37:09 GMT -5
So I will not ask you
Why you were creeping
In some sad way I already know
Why you were creeping
In some sad way I already know
@matilda
Life had changed, life was better. Cassian was different. He felt different, he felt lighter, he felt more alive. It was a wonderful thing, not being afraid of his own shadow. He hadn't felt like this since he was a teenager, since he was bitten and his entire life changed. Since he had to adapt to survive, hide and isolate himself in order to not be hunted down like an animal. And yet? He had been anyway, and he had been put in a cage and he had been tortured and he had never really recovered since then. Now, though, he was recovering. In a way, he thought he'd never really had the chance to get over what had happened to him. He'd always ended up hiding and scared and his surroundings had never served to give him time and space to heal. He'd never been able to afford to heal. With Fer, things were different. His partner understood, he gave him space and time and didn't push him. Sure, he was human and he would never truly understand what they went through. Sure, this didn't mean he was going to trust just any human around him. That he was going to live his life openly as a werewolf for everyone to know. That was madness, he was still taking precautions. Just... life could change, he didn't have to be so extreme anymore. Fer had made sure they weren't hunted down anymore, Fer had promised and after all this time getting to know him, Cassian believed him.
That was why he knew he had to change. It would take a lot of work, but he wasn't fleeing at all anymore and he had understood that his work was not sustainable. Cassian wasn't made to be a criminal. He hated violence, he hated fighting and crime and killing. He was a gentle person at heart and if he'd had his way he would've finished his herbology apprenticeship and lived out his days gardening by his own little cottage and making his own bread in the morning. Well, the apprenticeship was out, he couldn't trust someone with that just yet, but his way of life could change. He could get another job, with all the savings he had. He could move them out of that dingy apartment. Somewhere nice with a garden and proper sunlight, where they would have their own rooms and it could be an actual home. Most importantly, he didn't have to make his pups live in the same fear that he had. Awareness was one thing, fear and isolation was another. He had talked to Niles. As the one to convince him that going to university was a bad idea, it was his job to convince him that it had been a bad idea then and wasn't anymore. Niles was smart, so much smarter than Cass, and he wanted to study magizoology. They had the money, he was sure it would work out.
In the same way, he wanted to talk to Tilly. Now that she was back from Hogwarts, he stayed at home more. Of course he still went to Fer's and worked. He hadn't told her about any of this yet, not even about his relationship to someone he thought he may love. She hadn't asked questions, but he thought she deserved to know the truth. Now, a few weeks after her coming home, he thought she was settled enough to have this conversation. So he'd asked Teddy and Niles to give them the night to themselves. Asked Fer to excuse him from dinner and give Juan and Jason his best -yes, he also had to tell her about the two boys- and came home in the afternoon. Prepared her favourite for dinner and finished setting the table just as she arrived. Turning to the door, he offered a smile. "There you are. Dinner's ready."
That was why he knew he had to change. It would take a lot of work, but he wasn't fleeing at all anymore and he had understood that his work was not sustainable. Cassian wasn't made to be a criminal. He hated violence, he hated fighting and crime and killing. He was a gentle person at heart and if he'd had his way he would've finished his herbology apprenticeship and lived out his days gardening by his own little cottage and making his own bread in the morning. Well, the apprenticeship was out, he couldn't trust someone with that just yet, but his way of life could change. He could get another job, with all the savings he had. He could move them out of that dingy apartment. Somewhere nice with a garden and proper sunlight, where they would have their own rooms and it could be an actual home. Most importantly, he didn't have to make his pups live in the same fear that he had. Awareness was one thing, fear and isolation was another. He had talked to Niles. As the one to convince him that going to university was a bad idea, it was his job to convince him that it had been a bad idea then and wasn't anymore. Niles was smart, so much smarter than Cass, and he wanted to study magizoology. They had the money, he was sure it would work out.
In the same way, he wanted to talk to Tilly. Now that she was back from Hogwarts, he stayed at home more. Of course he still went to Fer's and worked. He hadn't told her about any of this yet, not even about his relationship to someone he thought he may love. She hadn't asked questions, but he thought she deserved to know the truth. Now, a few weeks after her coming home, he thought she was settled enough to have this conversation. So he'd asked Teddy and Niles to give them the night to themselves. Asked Fer to excuse him from dinner and give Juan and Jason his best -yes, he also had to tell her about the two boys- and came home in the afternoon. Prepared her favourite for dinner and finished setting the table just as she arrived. Turning to the door, he offered a smile. "There you are. Dinner's ready."
