You ain't got to be afraid
Of the words you want to say right now
'Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud

@bluebird

He had come back last weekend after being gone for two weeks. He would not say that he had not missed Korea, because he had. He had missed his siblings, he had missed Seoul, but he had not missed Gwangju or his parents or their cutting words. That, he had been glad to be distanced from. However, he knew that it was not possible to run away forever. This was something he had talked about with Blue before graduation, even if it had been hard. His boyfriend didn't like talking about feelings, but there were moments in which such things were unavoidable. Like then. It had been a difficult conversation, but they'd come out of it with a solid plan. One that U-Jin believed would work, and it had. He'd been afraid that it wouldn't though he hadn't admitted that to Blue at any point. After all, he didn't want the other boy to worry. His smile was the brightest thing of all, he wouldn't have it dim on his account.

Before this all began with Blue, he had known that he would have to go back to Korea, settle in an apartment in Seoul, study whatever his parents told him to study, work in whatever government department he was assigned to after graduation, marry who he was told to and have children. There was no room for disobedience, especially not when, for all intents and purposes, they held his little brother hostage. Obey and submit and do your duty, or your little brother will be forced to in your stead. Yeong-Su-yah was far too gentle to put up with what U-Jin did. It would ruin the poor boy. No, he had been planning on disobeying in something minor. Maybe take up one of the many Quidditch offers on the side. Just for a few years. Do what he truly liked. They wouldn't have been able to stop him, not without creating a public scandal.  This was... something he now had admitted to his parents, along with a proposition. He was willing to give it all up, if they would only let him stay in England longer. Without nosing into his business.

They- they didn't want to know. In a way, they must have always suspected. They made sure that he knew, he was to work for the foreign delegate, a new one assigned just for this. One of his mother's brothers. He was to study long distance in Korea's public university and keep his marks perfect. Then, in the future, when his betrothed came of age, he was to return and move permanently. Well... he had told Blue. It was seven years. He had lied to his parents for Blue's sake, after almost two decades of never lying at all. He had told them he would go back. He had told Blue that he would eventually have to go back. Really, though, he had spoken to Yeong-Su-yah. In seven years. He could prepare himself in seven years, could he not? His little brother said he would think of it. It would be a great shame to their family. There had been not a single instance in which a firstborn had willingly renounced their responsibility, not once in over two thousand years. Would he do this for Blue? Looking at him now, he rather did think that he would.

They were in bed, early in the morning with sunshine streaming through the windows. The apartment was still a mess, filled with boxes and boxes of belongings and disassembled furniture. Su-Won slept in his basket. Blue lay against him, eyes closed and hair glowing in the sunlight, skin smooth and pale against his. Right here, right now, he didn't think there was anything he wouldn't do in order to keep this. Who knew? Perhaps, if Yeong-Su decided quickly, he could surprise Blue. Maybe they could play Quidditch together again. He didn't know, but it didn't matter either. As long as he could stay.

Smiling, he leaned closer and placed a kiss on the boy's jaw.

❝So if you wanna kiss the boy then you better,

kiss the boy right now❞

536 w.

@ jin.

notes.

Blue would freely admit that he thrived on attention, he always had, he'd like to blame it on his absent parents; he had been a prime example of a child acting out for attention. But his entire family was dramatic, Bea aside, he learned a lot of his dramatic tendencies from his grandmother after all. The point was: he liked attention and disliked being away from the people he loved. Jin had been gone for two weeks, obviously for something entirely reasonable but still. There was very little doubt that Alice and Amy were tired of listening to Blue's pining. They hadn't even had an actual discussion about what they were (which was definitely, probably, Blue's fault because feelings) but Blue was living with Jin so they were definitely something.

Blue was living with Jin. He wasn't sure that had actually sunk in yet. They were out of Hogwarts, they had graduated, Blue was playing Quidditch professionally, U-Jin was still doing more than was reasonable but that wasn't new. Living together, however, made it a lot easier for Blue to get Jin to slow down. He found that cornering the other boy for kisses was a very effective way to encourage a break.

Despite having met Jin's aunt he still didn't know much about his family. Not that he had actually asked yet, or told Jin much about his own outside of Bea and Alive. What he did know was that Jin would eventually be leaving. They had talked about it, Jin had a duty to his family, and Blue knew that. The same way he knew that Jin would marry a girl his family chose. When he thought about it he had to think about the future (a future he didn't have with Jin) and his throat would burn while it felt like there was a weight on his chest- ultimately he preferred to just not think about it. Blue was a master of ignoring a problem until it went away, or until he had no other choice but to address it because, really, problems didn't often just leave. It was so inconvenient.

There was no way Blue could ask Jin to disregard his duty to his family, not more than he already was, but he could ignore the future and enjoy being in Jin's bed.

He was awake, he usually woke up when Jin did even if he ended up going back to sleep soon after. The bed was all set up, the closet and a set of drawers as well because Blue knew what his own priorities were thanks, aside from that though? Their apartment was a bloody mess. A lot of their furniture still needed to be set up, boxes unpacked, and yet everything felt settled. Domestic. Su-Won was probably nearby, Jin was definitely close judging by the kiss Blue felt against his jaw.

"G'mornin'," Blue mumbled, a soft smile slipping onto his lips as he opened his eyes. It was too early for proper articulation. He lifted a hand to trail his fingers against Jin's cheekbone and down his jaw. Resting his fingers against Jin's neck, Blue rolled his head to look at him without his face half-smushed into a pillow.

© SETHANIEL OF adox 2.0 + WW.

@ blue

Outfit

You ain't got to be afraid

    U-Jin had always been closes with his siblings but since he'd come to England it felt as if they'd become strangers to him. He used to spend the entire year with them at school so it didn't really matter if he disappeared during the holidays and spent all his time with muggles on the streets. Now, though? He was sent to Hogwarts, on the other side of the world, and when he went back for the summer he disappeared once more, only returning to take part in his sister's wedding. Then he vanished again until right before he was to return to England. Then another year away and now he went back for only two weeks which he mostly spent either arguing with his parents or out on the streets. It wasn't a surprise to him to realise that his little brother had become a stranger, he could barely recognise the boy when he last saw him. Of course, he was sixteen now instead of fourteen, and he had been forced to grow up a lot very suddenly. Yeong-Su-yah had been in Mahoutokoro with both U-Jin and Min-Seo-noona from the very beginning, and when she graduated U-Jin had still been there to provide support and guidance. He was supposed to be there for another year before Yeong-Su-yah had to start to be completely independent at school. U-Jin had not been there to look after him as he should and- and he was surprised that his little brother didn't blame him. He knew that U-Jin had been sent away because their parents could no longer stand his misbehaviour and yet he'd said that... that U-Jin had been misbehaving because he couldn't stand them anymore, that he was trapped and meant for bigger things, and that it was their fault for punishing him when U-Jin had not truly brought any shame upon them that anyone could know of. U-Jin had not expected that and... he wouldn't say that he was not moved. It was this which had prompted his little brother to... well, as he had put it himself, free U-Jin.
    He wasn't planning on telling Blue yet. Wether that was the right choice or not, he didn't know, but he wanted to avoid getting Blue's hopes up in case Yeong-Su-yah didn't manage all the improvement he was planning on. By this point, he was pretty sure that he wanted to stay forever, or at least for as long as Blue would have him. What did it matter that Blue wouldn't say the word boyfriend out loud? U-Jin knew the truth and that was what mattered, he didn't need to be coddled by things Blue couldn't admit to. There was time for that. Hopefully, at least. Hopefully, Blue wouldn't get tired of the uncertainty of U-Jin's permanence and leave him before he got a definite answer from his brother. It was- he regretted having to put this weight on Yeong-Su-yah's shoulders, but in a way, he hadn't. His brother had approached him of his own volition with the idea and if he hadn't, U-Jin would've never considered it. Did he hate himself a little for it? Yes, he did, because it meant that he wouldn't burn the world down for the boy beside him. That there were some lines he wouldn't cross. Still, it felt like a clock was ticking. Like one of these days, he would snap and he'd write to his brother that he was quitting the clan wether Yeong-Su-yah was up to it or not. Would it be cruel? Very. He thought it would be even crueler to leave Blue alone.
    "Morning, jagi." He offered a calm smile and his eyes fell shut at the gentle touch. Blue could calm him with just this, could pull his attention from any thought or task with a single touch of a finger. He supposed that he once would have been scared of such abandon, but looking at Blue now he thought that there was nothing more natural than that. "We have time, still. It's early." So he moved closer, pulling the other boy to himself, still sleep warm and wrapped in their sheets.

Of the words you want to say right now

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