Hey, @octavia

Sorry it's been so long, a lot has been going on. First of all, I'm not dead, surprise. Though I guess you might've already known that. I told Dea, at some point, though I don't remember if that was before you were put in Pyxis. I told Octavian, who might've told Dev. I'm not sure. Communicating has been hard. I didn't even go to see my sisters for... months. It's no way to treat friends, though, so I'm sorry.

I'm not in Pyxis, obviously, and I'm not in Kolna either. Some stuff happened and I was kept apart for months, they wouldn't let me leave. I could write, I guess. They told me I could. I just didn't. Looking back on it, I might've been in shock, or maybe depressed. I just didn't want to talk to anyone much. I'm out, though. I'm living in a nice place, they treat me well too. I can't go back to Hogwarts but they got me tutors so I don't have to go to Pyxis either. No one hurts me, they're... Lord Parkinson is who I'm living with. He's very nice to me.

Droning on about myself sucks, though, so please, tell me what's been going on with you. Is the school as sucky as I've been told? Are you going to have to go back to work next year? I ran into Jesse and he had to go right back to work, which is downright awful. I hope you're okay. I asked Lord Parkinson and I was allowed to send a box with treats from Honeydukes, I hope you get them instead of the guards confiscating them. At least, Lord Parkinson said he'd make sure they got to you. He's friends with the head of education or something. I think.

Lots of love,

Jason

17 July 2018

Jason!

I am SO RELIEVED to hear from you, you have no idea. I had a feeling you were alive. Call it women's intuition. Well, Dea had told me not to worry, anyways, so I figured if she wasn't looking to take names and kick arse you were probably relatively okay... still, I can't say I wasn't worried. Don't worry about apologizing though. Whatever you're going through, I know you're trying your best. I'm just glad to hear from you.

I'm really glad to hear that you have tutors at least. What have you been learning lately? After you had disappeared I was definitely looking forward to seeing you around Pyxis maybe... but again, I know you're trying your best. If you need someone to talk to, about ANYTHING, I'm here for you. It's good that you're safe.

Lord Parkinson? That's unexpected. How'd that happen? Well, at least if he's nice.

Pyxis is the suckiest. It's so dull and their library is honestly pathetic. I assume after this I'll be put to work - it's not like they're teaching us anything that could be used for much more than "muggleborn work." Cleaning spells and that sort. Still, you know me - I have this sliver of hope that something will happen and I'll get my shot at Hogwarts again. I guess it's kind of stupid, but I have to be as optimistic as possible with Aidan starting at Pyxis in the fall. Besides, I still haven't given up on the animagus dream (although the greenhouse here is so shit, they don't even have mandrakes).

I love the treats - chocolate cauldrons always were my favourite. I wouldn't worry about confiscating, one of the guards here is kind of... a friend? He's nice enough, anyways. So don't hesitate to send any more of these my way, if you know what I mean.

As much as Pyxis is shit... it would be more fun with you around. Miss you, Jason. Looking forward to the next letter.

Love,
Octavia

18th July, 2018

Tav,

Yeah, she wasn't all that worried I think. Lord Parkison went to talk to her, apparently he's friends with her boss? Or something. Told her I was somewhere else, alive, and all that. I guess that was lucky because it's been hard to reach out to people. Not because I'm not allowed to or anything, I'm happy where I am, but because I didn't wanna talk to anyone it's just been hard. A lot changed so talking to people from before the changes happened just felt uncomfortable, I suppose. Of course I did end up writing, as you can tell. Wasn't really fair to any of you.

I know you're there for me, so thank you, but this isn't something I can really talk about. Won't be going to Pyxis and I won't be put to work either. I think I'm just supposed to exist? And not get in the way. Yeah, Lord Parkinson. He took an interest in my case, I guess? Doesn't care about my bloodstatus. That's why I get to stay with him, since I can't be let go, being a muggleborn, but they won't put me to work or send me to school. He said I could just stay with him, which is better. Better than going back to Kolna or being locked up. I have my own room and I can go out into the garden and he bought me a broom so I could explore the grounds. Imagine that, Tav. Mum couldn't even buy me new robes every year.

Pyxis sounds awful, I'm sorry your brother has to go there too. Zach and Zia have a magical dad, so thankfully they're not classified as muggleborns. They get to go to Hogwarts, which is good. Sounds to me like Pyxis is just servant indoctrination, but maybe that's just me. I am sending a couple of mandrake leaves in the envelope, so you can try. I copied over a couple of pages from Lord Parkinson's library books? The ones that talk about animagi magic. Maybe it'll help you. If not to get back to Hogwarts, at least that. Maybe if you succeed you could run away, but I guess you wouldn't leave Aidan behind. That wouldn't be a great thing to do.

Yes, more chocolate cauldrons. I get a lot of allowance, so this is no issue. Remember to share!

Miss you too.

Love,

Jason

19 July 2018

Jason,

I guess I can't say I understand where you're coming from, but I trust you. As long as you know that you have people here for you, I know that you'll reach out to any of them - me included - if you ever need it. Lord Parkinson seems nice enough. I guess I'm judging him solely on the fact that he doesn't care about your blood status... but all things considered, that's saying a lot nowadays. Besides, getting to fly, that's amazing. I've always been a bit scared of heights - or more scared of falling, really - but it's not even an option at Pyxis. It's funny how differently you look at things when they're an option versus when they're not. I almost regret never playing Quidditch now.

Servant indoctrination is a good way of putting it. Pyxis just feels like this prison in disguise. A prison of the mind and body, if that makes any sense. I don't think I remember the last time I actually learned something I hadn't known before in one of my classes here. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the feeling of struggling in class. I miss the feeling of having something to work towards, I guess. Part of me hopes this is all temporary, but I'm not entirely sure that means that things will get better. Merlin, I must sound crazy right now!

I don't even know how to thank you for the mandrake leaves. I'm already trying to figure out a schedule or some way I could get this started. I'm gonna have to make sure I don't get caught either - wouldn't want to waste your efforts. I guess I would never run away if Aidan was here but... at least it might help me feel more like myself. Merlin, thank you.

All right, I'll TRY to share. Only because you asked so nicely. I'll keep you updated on animagus developments... but part of me hopes you'll get to see it all in person in the near future. Is it silly to be so optimistic nowadays?

Love,

Tav

21st of July, 2018

Tav

    Yeah, you know me, I don't really like bothering anyone. It's alright, I'm comfortable and I'm safe, so things could really be much worse. I know Lord Parkinson won't let anything happen to me. Dea says that I'm being too trusting, naïve even, but I think that being on my toes about everyone won't do me any good. Especially since we're talking about people that have helped me. I know what you mean about opportunities, though. I'd never thought I'd miss grass as much as I did until I moved to live with Lord Parkinson.
    I think things are both better and worse like this. I mean, you're not doing all that work you used to, so that's better. Being locked up and pumped full of all of this useless stuff isn't good either. Isn't that kind of dangerous? As soon as I start to think well, it could be worse I remember that it just serves to normalise this. I shouldn't. Yes, it's awful too and that's what matters. I know I'm lucky that I'm getting private tutors. I feel like I'm learning as much as I did at Hogwarts, only much more easily. They pay attention to me and what I don't understand, you know? Adapt to what I need and what's hard for me. I'm very grateful for that.
    No problem, really. Ask me for anything else you need. Nobody here will ask questions.
    I sent more candy now, I remember you liked the pumpkin pasties and the licorice wands. Personally, I like sugar quills better. Do tell me how the animagus stuff is going. Is it hard to keep the leaf under your tongue constantly? I don't think it's wrong to be hopeful. This will be your last year, I'm sure you can get through it. Then when you get out, I'm sure Lord Parkinson will let me see you. It'll be alright, I'll try to help.

Love,