WAS I BAIT, TO PULL YOU IN



THE THRILL OF THE KILL



You FEEL, IS A SIN



I LAY WITH THE WOLVES



ALONE, IT SEEMS

Freya sat on the floor knees to her chest bawling her eyes out at the realization that she was no longer what she once was, she was a completely different being now, someone capable of hurting others, and it scared her to her core. She did not know how to handle this, how to cope with something like this. Her biggest problem yesterday was that she had not been discovered as a singer yet and now she had to worry that on every full moon she might kill someone? This was all too much, she could feel her skin boiling beneath her and she no longer knew if it was because of the attack, the adrenaline from finding all of this out, or the werewolf curse running through her body. She felt trapped in her body for the first time in her life, and she did not know how to make it right, she did not know if it would ever even be right again. She could not see a way in which things could be okay after something like this, she was positive that this was one of those things that people just did not come back from. He finally confirmed her fears with his reply and then for the first time he slid over next to her in what felt like comfort and at first she wanted to shy away but then it dawned on her that he had probably been in her shoes once too, he probably knew exactly how she was feeling and she did really need some comfort right about now. 

He placed his hand on her back and told her that it would be okay, but she just could not see how those words could ever be true. She did not even know how he was able to function the way he was able to, not to mention play Quidditch and be a celebrity. She wanted to lock herself away somewhere so that she never had to worry about hurting someone like that. She could not imagine just being out in the world and knowing she was different, this kind of different, a monster really. He offered help to her and then asked her name she finally looked up from the tops of her knees and turned to him "My name is Freya" she said timidly, before thinking back on his offer to help her. "How do you do it? How do you go out into the world like this? Aren't you afraid of hurting someone all the time? How did this even happen to you?" She asked the barrage of questions that had been ransacking her mind the last few minutes but this time she was more calm, though the tears continued to flow down her face she was at least not shrieking away from him anymore. She wanted his help though, more than she ever wanted anything because she felt without it she would never be able to go into the world again. 

big bad wolf

@freya

Sunday, August 26th, 2018

The guilt that had washed over Alfie was paralyzing. He was frozen on his bedroom floor, just staring at the grains of the wood in the flooring, and listening to the girl cry. Was this his reality now? All from one stupid mistake? A few days ago he was honestly starting to believe that things in his life were turning around for the good again, but it was crazy how fast things could change all from one bad decision, overnight.

Alfie listened with a very tired, blank expression, as Freya asked him another laundry list of questions. Instantly sending his head into another downward spiral, but he knew that this was the least that she deserved. She deserved some answers. "You learn how to deal with it." he stated, unsure how to really explain Lycanthropy to a new person. He hated talking about it. Nothing could have prepared him for this conversation. Alfie took a deep breath in an attempt to level himself. "Wolfsbane potion is what you will need. I can help provide it for you...it's not easy to brew, the ingredients are hard to get a hold of...but I assure you that I can get it for you no problem." he tried to reassure her, but he noticed the more he tried to reassure her, the more he doubted himself. Alfie hoped that he could help the girl. "I was bitten by my best friend eleven years ago. I-I killed him because I couldn't get him off of me." he said softly, swallowing with a sadness in his eyes.

His jaw clenched, mouth going instantly dry because he was getting nervous from sharing way too much information with a stranger. She could easily go to the media after this and have a field day out of some sort of revenge if she really wanted to. It made Alfie sick to his stomach; his insides were twisting and flipping. He turned toward Freya, his brown eyes were surrounded in bags, but he was trying his best to soften his expression. "Freya, I just need to ask one thing of you.."

WAS I BAIT, TO PULL YOU IN



THE THRILL OF THE KILL



YOU FEEL, IS A SIN



I LAY WITH THE WOLVES



ALONE, IT SEEMS

Word Count: 766

Freya sat there wondering what she had done in life to deserve this, wondering why she was being punished by some diety above. Freya had never been overly religious though her parent's families had tried to instill it in their children it had never quite made its way down to her. She wondered if that was the reason this had happened to her, if this was the reason she was being punished. Still, she had lived a pretty decent life, she felt she had always tried to be kind to others and do the right thing, she was pretty sure she had always tried to do her part and help someone she thought might be in need, but she wondered if it had been enough? She began replaying every aspect of her life over and over in her mind trying to decide if she was a good person based on the small roll tape of blips that were playing in her mind. It was impossible to judge a life by the few memories she carried though and she rationalized that she was likely only remembering the things that had stood out to her and that there may have been moments that other people remembered of her that she could not. It felt like she was mourning and in some ways she was. She knew she would never be the same, her life had ended last night in some ways and in other ways, it was only just beginning. She knew there would be a new world to discover now but more than anything she wished she was not forced to embrace such a terrible thing. Freya had always been a rather upbeat person with an optimistic attitude, but she did not know how she was going to be that way about this, how could she find the bright side in this situation when she was so certain there was no bright side.? She knew she had to find a way to do so though, otherwise the guilt, the self-loathing would eat her up inside and she did not know how she would live with herself if that happened. 

She tried hard to put herself in Alfie's shoes, she knew he probably felt bad about what had happened but that did little to console her fears and her anger. She knew she would do everything in her power to make sure that no one ever got hurt by her, she was certain she would not be able to live with herself if that had ever happened. She would be a shell of guilt constantly ashamed of what she had done, it was in the middle of this thought that she looked back over at Alfie he seemed to be feeling that way currently and it made her only feel more sympathy for the man who had taken so much from her. She listened as he explained to her about Wolfsbane and how it would help her when she turned as well as how it was difficult to get which only made her more nervous, but she was relieved that Alfie assured her he could get it for her. He explained how he had become a werewolf himself and it was an even sadder story than she could have ever imagined. She felt truly bad for him and for the first time she actually wanted to comfort him "I am sorry that sounds awful...that must have been very hard for you" she said softening her tone towards him to a kinder, gentler volume.  She began to wonder if she was capable of such things, could she hurt her best friend? Her parents? She wondered if the beast ranging inside of her now would be willing to hurt even the people she loved the most and the simple answer was a resounding yes and it made her nervous to ever go back out into society ever again."How do you do it? How do you go back out into the world like this? I don't even know if that is something I can do, what if I hurt someone?" She was lost in the thoughts and images of her loved ones and she was trying to choke back the tears once again filling her eyes when she heard his voice once more. He said he needed to ask one thing of her and she began to wonder what that could be, she somehow wanted to oblige him and she hoped he would stay in her life to help her through this afterward "what is it?" she asked curiously. 

big bad wolf

@freya

Sunday, August 26th, 2018

Alfie sat on the floor, staring at the window. The sunlight was making his head pound, and a messed up part of him wished he could just jump out of that second story window, to never come back. But he wasn't that weak. And a fall from a second story building wouldn't do enough damage. Alfie had always been a fearless fighter, he learned how to make things work in tricky situations because of this. But this was just another level of fucked up. He could tell that Freya was a sweet girl, just by the way she was carrying herself with grace through this entire situation. She seemed sorry for Alfie which made him feel unbearably pitiful, but was it somehow working? Maybe he'd be able to breakthrough with the young lady. He would help her if she allowed him to.

Freya asked Alfie how he managed to live a normal life with this curse and he kind of just gave her a sympathetic shrug. He bit down on his lip, inhaling through the nostrils and exhaling while he tried to think of what to say. Alfie wanted to be honest with her. It was what she deserved. And she wasn't trying to kill him for what he did, so he wanted to keep her on his good side for as long as she'd allow it. "You just do.... You do what you have to do to stay alive. But mainly you have to trust yourself...and be aware of the Lunar calendar." he told her, his eyes shifting down to the ground. There would be a lot more too, but he didn't want to get into the nitty gritty. Wolfsbane Potion would be number one.

Alfie tried to keep his composure for as long as he could, but he could already feel the words spilling from his mouth uncontrollably, all over again. He just couldn't sort his words into strings of sentences anymore. His heart was back to beating rapidly out of his chest. "I-I need you to promise not to tell anyone that I did this to you." he urged her, before realizing maybe that was a bit too forceful of a request for someone he didn't even know. His eyes flickered from her, to the ground and to her again, he was trying to find some sort of anchor in the room to keep himself from having a panic attack or breaking down all over again. Alfie swallowed, trying to rephrase that last statement. "I mean-uh-you know-the media. People. Please don't tell anyone it could ruin me." he cringed at his words shaking his head back and forth and trying to take those words back. "Fuck! That sounded so selfish!" Alfie clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into the palm of his hands. "I will pay you, Freya. I will offer you a place to stay. I will do anything." Alfie pleaded pitfully, sinking to an all new low. He never thought he'd be in a predicament where he'd pay someone off to not sabotage him. But here he was. Paralyzed on his bedroom floor, begging a young lady not to 'tell' on him.. Fuck.

WAS I BAIT, TO PULL YOU IN
THE THRILL OF THE KILL
YOU FEEL, IS A SIN
I LAY WITH THE WOLVES
ALONE, IT SEEMS

@alfie

Freya had asked Alfie how he coped with this new existence and he had responded in a way that told her there was no one way to handle it, and that even he was not fully sure how to explain it all to her. He seemed calm and somewhat kind, though he ought to have been after what he had done to her, still, she could not help but to feel sorry for him, this life, this existence was one he had not wished for anymore than she had and yet here they both her. She listened carefully as he told her that you do what you have to do to survive, and she knew that she would indeed do that, no matter how much she did not wish for this life, she could never leave it, she worried that she would miss out on the brighter days that were to come and forever the optimist even in this dark situation she was sure there would be brighter days in her future, if she could just make it through.

Next, he told her that you have to trust yourself, and that was something she was not sure if she could do at all. She worried she would hurt others, worried she would even be capable of hurting those she loved most in this world. The stories he had told her about his best friend only served to make those fears grow in her mind. If a best friend could do such a thing, then surely she would be no different, and she was not sure she would be able to make it in the world of normal people any longer. The thought made her sad, she had always been the outgoing type, the life of the party, and it had gotten her many friends in her lifetime, but the thought that she might now have to shy away from people made her a little upset. 

It gave her hope that Alfie was able to still go out into the world and more than that he was able to be a famous Quidditch star, it made her wonder what he did if he ever had a game on a full moon? Either way the notion that he could have this burden on him but still manage to not only be around people but be a full blown celebrity of sorts gave her hope. She was curious when he had something to ask of her, what could he possibly need from her? She watched his eyes shift to the ground as he spoke, he asked her to promise, to promise that she would not tell anyone that he did this to her. He continued on, saying he meant the media and that it could ruin him. She was angry at first that he could even think about his reputation at a time like this, but then she saw him shake his head as if he was having an inner conflict with himself. He stated that he knew how selfish the request sounded. She softened her face a little but still unsure of how to respond to such a request. She could hear the desperation in his voice beginning to build as he began pleading with her, offering her money, a place to stay, anything.

She did not know what to say, it was not like she was planning to go and blab to the media and honestly it made her sad that he thought she would do such a thing, but he did not know her anymore than she knew him. She knew one thing though she was going to need his help if she was ever going to get through this. She would never have taken his money, though it would have helped her, she just could not have done it, but his second offer did resonate with her. She took his face in her hands sympathetically, trying to help his eyes meet hers to see the sincerity in them, "I would not do that, it is just not the type of person I am, I do not want you money, but the way I see it I do need you, you are the only person I know who can help me through this and I am scared to do it on my own" she said steadily, then she kind of chuckled at her next thought to lighten the mood "plus rent is expensive these days and it would be helpful if I could split it with someone, so maybe I could stay here at least for the first few full moons, I will not be any trouble and I will pay my half, I just don't want to be alone right now, what do you say?" she asked hoping that he would be willing to let a complete stranger stay with him under such circumstances. 

big bad wolf

@freya

Sunday, August 26th, 2018

Alfie felt himself spiraling out of control, the world was going to open up and swallow him whole at any moment. But then Freya took his face in her hands and it forced him to look at her. Alfies eyes instinctively tore downwards to the floor at first, refusing to look at her, but he quickly gave in. His face rested in her hands briefly while she tried to get her words out, brown eyes meet hers and he listened to her proposition open heartedly. A part of him believed her when she said that she wasn’t the type to go out of her way to sabotage someone, but he just didn’t know yet. Isn't that something most would say? Alfie found it very difficult to trust people after being in the limelight for so long. Freya had an innocent air about her though, which made him feel like he could trust her. Maybe.

He honestly would have done anything she wanted. Taking money from her seemed wrong after what he had done to her, she shouldn't had owed him anything at all. “You can stay in the spare room for as long as you need. I'm not home much during the days because of practice, press, and games, so you'd have the place to yourself quite a bit... I understand that you're scared, but I will help you through it all. ” Alfie told her, trying to keep a steady, reassuring tone, and his face from faltering too much. His brown eyes met with hers, “Save your money. You don’t have to pay me anything, Freya, I really don’t need it...” he insisted, shaking his head in protest with a slight frown. Quidditch and broom making gave him more than enough financial support, he didn't need money from a young lady... maybe he could help her financially in some way by not having her pay him. However, in the end, he'd agree with whatever Freya wanted - even if she insisted on paying him.

Alfie took a breath in and swallowed, feeling himself slowly return to planet earth by the second. His eyes fell to scratch marks on her arms, trailed to her legs, he could barely look at her due to this mess being a product of his own work. Alfie gaze fell onto the young lady, "How are you feeling? I have elixirs that can help ease the pain.." he asked her sympathetically, ready to assist in however he could in the matter. It seemed like he was going to have a very long day ahead of him, which was unfortunate, because all he wanted to do was crawl into his own bed and forget about the world.

WAS I BAIT, TO PULL YOU IN
THE THRILL OF THE KILL
YOU FEEL, IS A SIN
I LAY WITH THE WOLVES
ALONE, IT SEEMS

Freya wished she could be anywhere else but here right now, she was processing so many different feelings and emotions. She did not know how to feel and she already felt like she had been through the entire rainbow of emotions since the moment she had awoken. She could not fathom how she had gone from being terrified of the man before her to asking to live with him. She imagined that loads of women would have loved to have been living with him and yet here she was the lucky winner, but she did not feel very lucky in her current state. She felt quite the opposite of lucky, like someone up above must be wishing her harm and she had only barely escaped death...merlin she could have died. How was she going to live with the man that almost killed her? She looked over at Alfie and the look on his face was not one of intimidating measure, he did not look like he would hurt a fly in that moment and she had to choose to believe that was true.  She needed Alfie, whether she liked it or not, whether he liked it or not, she needed him to help her through this. She did not know for how long, how long does it even take for one to feel confident in their ability to not kill someone? She looked at the visibly shaken man before her, he did not look confident in his abilities, and that did not fully make her feel that much better. Still, he was all she had so she would have to rely on him to help her through this and she would have to learn to trust him.  She knew one thing at least, she did not want to cause trouble for him, she did not want to give him over to the media or anything overly dramatic like that, she did not feel he deserved that after seeing how much he was clearly beating himself up over what had happened without her adding to it. She listened closely to his words which for the first time since they had been talking gave her real comfort. She was beginning to feel like she was talking to a friend instead of the person who almost murdered her. He insisted that she did not need to pay him and she decided that that was a battle she would fight another day, she was already thinking of clever ways to sneak money into his pocket when he wasn't looking.  Freya had gotten so caught up in all of the feelings and the seriousness of their conversation and now the fact that he had told her she could actually stay with him that she had become a bit numb to the pain that was radiating in her body. She saw Alfie look down at the scratches and marks covering her body and as her eyes, following his, she began to realize the severity of some of the wounds, he asked how she was feeling and stated that he had elixirs to help with the pain "I am a little sore" she said trying to downplay the pain she was feeling "I suppose it would not hurt to take something, would you mind helping me to stand?" she asked politely.

TAGS @alfie WORDS ### OUTFIT link

Made by Siren of GS and THQ

big bad wolf

@freya

Sunday, August 26th, 2018

Alfies head was spinning, but he was slowly starting to feel like his feet were planted on the ground once again. At least he didn't have that impending feeling of spinning out of control completely. Somehow she had gotten him to calm down a bit as well. The way she had reassured him that blackmail wasn't her style, and all she needed what his help and guidance in exchange, a place to stay. This would be interesting. Alfie had lived alone for so long, other than his ex girlfriend Ari living with him for a short time, which was nice while it lasted, but he quickly learned that mixing romance and work wasn't the wisest choice for himself. It made things very messy.

After this very brief, but terrifying encounter, Alfie could tell that Freya was a sweet girl. The young, petite, woman seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. She also showed that she had a good sense of humor, which was also very refreshing. Her calmness was throwing him off a bit because Alfie thought that she would try to rip his head off...break a window...or something worse, but she was still keeping it together. He was mostly grateful that she wasn't crying anymore.

Freya asked for a bit of assistance off the floor and Alfie obliged. There was no need to say any more, he honestly wanted to help however he could, this was nothing. "Aye, I got you.." Alfie looped an arm behind her back, draping her arm around his neck, lifted her from the cold wood floor and gently onto the bed, careful not to agitate any of her fresh wounds. An awkward look couldn't be hidden from his face. He kept getting glimpses of the scratches, unable to get over how messed up she was -- all because of him. These overwhelming tidal waves of guilt kept crashing down on him. Alfie bit the inside of his cheek, unable to think of any comforting words to say in that moment. So, he spun on his heel and took a couple of steps into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet where his pre-made elixirs were stored. The cabinet was lined with many phials of different shapes, sizes, and colors; the elixirs main purposes being for pain, sleep, anxiety, and other ailments.

Alfie selected one of the tall, skinny, blue phials. The liquid inside being a pain and sleep sedative, "Your wounds will be healed in a few days, but there may be some scarring.." he told her truthfully, shaking the phial vigorously to activate it before popping the cork off and handing it over with an extended hand. "Bottoms up." he encouraged her to drink, his brown eyes soft, "It'll make you feel really drowsy, but it'll take away some of the discomfort so you'll be able to sleep it off."

Still feeling responsible for her well-being since he got her into this mess, he removed his wand from his pocket. Without a word he grabbed her arm lightly, pointing his wand at her forearm without thinking twice, "Tergeo" his lips moved, and a small cloud emitted from his wand, removing a patch of smeared blood instantly from her skin. It didn't even occur to him that she could be a Squib because he didn't really know many - if any at all - in his social circle. He probably definitely should have asked before performing incantations on people, but Charms had always been his ~thing, aside from quidditch. Healing charms were his specialty, since he and his mates had a penchant for getting injured on and off the pitch, he learned these things over time.

WAS I BAIT, TO PULL YOU IN



THE THRILL OF THE KILL



YOU FEEL, IS A SIN



I LAY WITH THE WOLVES



ALONE, IT SEEMS

This whole experience had taken more out of Freya than she would ever care to admit. She tried to remain strong and to paddle forward but she was wearing thin, she had gotten the answers she needed now she needed to give her body the time it deserved even if she could have asked a thousand more questions before her eyes closed she knew her body would never allow her to be so liberal in a time of scarce supply. She was running low on everything, blood, energy, and the ability to keep her eyes from shutting on her involuntarily. Still, she felt the need to at least hear his answer before she succumbed to the pain and the draining energy inside her. She needed to know if he would allow her to stay and if she would be able to learn from him. If she had the peace of mind that he would be there not only just when she woke up again but also for a while after that then she felt she could rest more easily.  It was going to be a long journey there was no doubt about that and she needed to know if he would be there for all of it, she needed to know if she could count on his presence or if she would have to figure this all out on her own. It was a big deal to let a stranger into your home but it was also a big deal to nearly kill someone and turn them into a monster so she figured they were on a rather even playing field at this point.  His next words reassured her more than he ever could have known, allowing her to stay and telling her he would help her through it all. She felt near immediate relief, he told her to save her money and that he did not need it and he said it in a tone that made her feel arguing would be pointless so she conceded to him, but she assured herself it was just this once and that she could always fight him on the subject later.  He looked her over and asked her how she was feeling even offering elixirs to help with the pain. In truth, she felt like she had been run over with a car and then thrown down a 50-foot building, but she was hanging in there, Freya was much stronger than she would ever let on. Still, if he had something to help with the pain she was not going to turn it down by any means. She laid there in the bed pulling the covers tightly over here "I suppose taking something would not hurt, I have to admit this is not the greatest feeling I have ever felt, but I am hanging in there, you'll have to do a lot worse to keep me down" she said with a small sly smile.

TAGS @alfie WORDS 492 OUTFIT link

Made by Siren of GS and THQ