For he's a jolly
good fellow
and so say all of us

❧

August 28, 2018
Alice and the Polyjuicers' Tour Bus

Oh this was good. This was the best thing that had happened since…well, since Alice and the Polyjuciers had been formed.

Alice sat on the tour bus, sitting upside-down on the overly large couch in the middle of the common area, a copy of Vexed open to the cover spread. A detailed article about Zoë Armstrong. Alice had known that her best friend was pregnant – after all, she made certain to check up on Zo when she could. They had been tour-mates back in 2015, but they’d remained close after the tour had wrapped up. Close enough that Alice was now calling herself Aunt Alice whenever the baby was referenced. But today, it wasn’t about the fact that she knew Zoë was pregnant. Today, it was about the fact that this magazine had no idea who the father was. And that was hilarious.

But this…this was gold.

This magazine – this cesspool of gossip and lies – had given her the greatest gift in the entire world today. While a part of Alice felt bad that she was indulging in gossip at her own best friend’s expense, another part of her just couldn’t help it. Especially since Pip. Fuckin’. Monday. was one of the suggested fathers of Zo’s baby.

Honestly, Alice couldn’t even imagine the gall of this magazine. But another part of her was so glad that they’d published this trash. They were all close friends – she was pretty sure that she would know if Pip had been shagging Zoë. They knew almost everything about one another. The Polyjuicers weren’t just a band. Well, they were just a band, actually. But they were also more than that. They were five people that had found one another. That was the reason that they’d become so successful. They weren’t just five blokes that were singing in a band together because they wanted to make money…they were five friends who played together because they wanted to make music…they wanted to change the world.

And of course, they wanted to make fun of one another when a gossip magazine published outlandish claims about them potentially fathering a child with their ex-tour mate.

Flipping out of the couch, Alice walked to the front of the Tour Bus. “Did you see this?” She asked, holding it out in front of the Driver’s face. He laughed and shook his head, barely giving it a once-over.

“Sorry Miss Alice, I try not to read all the gossip about you kids. Gives an old man a heart attack worrying about all yous,” he had always been sweet – an unofficial member of the band, in Alice’s opinion. But she knew that she couldn’t just ignore it. Not when the possibility of totally humiliating Pip hung in the air. No, she had work to do.

---

A few hours later, she had managed to cover the entire tour bus with pacifiers and other baby-related decorations. The last bit of streamers were hung up and a sign that read CONGRATS DADDY PIP hung from one side of the bus to the other, and finally, after nearly two hours of grueling work and running around like a mad woman to get everything ready, she was satisfied that this – a Father’s Day Party for their “soon-to-be-daddy-band-mate” was the perfect celebration. There was a bit of trash left over, so Alice stepped out of the tour bus to bin it when she ran directly into the man of the hour. She resisted the urge to pick up the melody of “For he’s a Jolly Good Fellow.” “Pip, hi,” Alice said, sidestepping slightly so that the back of her hands couldn’t be seen. “Wasn’t expecting you for a few more hours. Thought you’d still be asleep, actually.” She tried to act as if she was fine, but the smile that played on her lips told a different story. In fact, the smile on her lips told a story of a girl that had just covered his personal room with thousands of copies of the Zoë BabyGate article and pictures of babies with glued on, overly large Pip heads.

@pip | 681 | Outfit

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[attr="class","lyric1misc"]for he's a jolly good fellow

[attr="class","lyricbgmisc"]

[attr="class","lyric2misc"]for he's a jolly good fellow
for he's a jolly good fellow
and so say all of us!

[attr="class","textbodmisc"]Pip had already had a hell of a day and he had just left his apartment. Merlin's beard, every time a new issue of Vexed came out, it was like the world turned upside down. Who on earth had let that woman into England, was his bloody question. As if Witch Weekly didn't do enough damage, they had to have the nightmare that was Valentina De la Vega raining hell down on all of them. Pip could handle the rumours, especially if there was not a grain of truth to them because... well, who cared, he knew what was true. And if they were true then Pip just stood by his decisions. It wasn't the rumours themselves that got to him, really, but more the aftermath of it. He had woken up with a bloody brigade of texts from Soo-Jin, not even having laid eyes on a copy of that magazine yet. Or on anything, really, considering his phone buzzing had been what had woken him up. And that hadn't ended all that bad, since Soo-Jin had popped on over with coffee later, and other surprises. So that could have really been a lot worse.

But now... now Pip had to brave the tour bus. And while Soo-Jin had teased and laughed, then actually put together a gift basket for Zoë in the band's name (which was more than he could have thought to do), he knew the rest of the Polyjuicers would be a little more ruthless. They had lived in close quarters and worked together for the last few years, after all, and the band was like a second family. Anything went, really, and they were a creative lot. Last month, Alice had been the scapegoat, with her lovely appearance in Vexed for getting caught shagging some bloke in a port-a-potty. Brilliant form, Alice. They hadn't let her live that down. Which was why Pip was bracing himself for the worst. There was no way in hell they weren't taking advantage of this beautiful situation, especially because they all knew there was no way that he was the father.

When he rounded the street corner and laid eyes on the tour bus, Pip could feel his pace slowing down a bit. Ugh. He really just had to suck it up and see what fuss they had all made. Or Alice, namely. She was always the more theatrical one, and Pip supposed it wasn't his place to judge because he also went a little too far with his jokes a fair amount of the time. He had just reached the tour bus door and was reaching for the handle when it swung open to reveal none other than the woman herself. Pip frowned lightly, a little surprised that she was so... well, not bringing up that damned article. Although she did seem a little weird, so something was definitely up. "Hey," he greeted with a small smile and the same confused frown as he watched Alice sidestep him. "Yeah, woulda been, got woken up, though." Well, that was one way of putting it, anyways. "You good?" he asked, lifting a foot onto the first step of the tour bus.

@ troublemaker | 530 words | outfit

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jolly good fellow

[attr="class","reasonsmallalice"]For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow, and so say all of us

[attr="class","reasonbodalice"]She probably should’ve called Zoë when she’d first heard about all of this. After all, there was no telling what was true and what wasn’t. For all she knew, Zo could’ve been actually pregnant and just hadn't told her yet. But that would be…weird, wouldn’t it? If Zoë Armstrong was pregnant, she would’ve told one of her best mates, right? Alice shook her head – it wasn’t worth getting worked up about. After all, most of the things that came by way of Vexed magazine were false and fabrications. The Editor had probably picked up the scent somewhere down the line, seen the pair of them hanging out, and decided it was a good stunt to pull.

At least it gave her a reason to make fun of Pip.

The band was her family. Ever since they’d formed, they’d been more like family than her own parents. Fox, well, she’d known him for forever. He was the level-headed one…the one that always made sure to look after the more rambunctious kids. Ziggy was the sweet one – the musician, the old soul. She was the sort of person that Alice hoped she’d be one day. If she could ever leave her childishness behind (though she somehow doubted that was a possibility). Holiday was the crazy one – the one that everyone wanted to be because she was just that badass. She was the one that kept them on their toes. And Pip? Well, Pip was a delight. He was the sort that always made Alice laugh. Out of all the Polyjuicers, he was the one that she was most similar to. And therefore, he was often at the receiving end of her jokes. Not that he minded, she was sure, because the street ran two ways.

“Woken up?” Alice pretended to feign surprise, though she wasn’t sure how convincing it actually was. “By what? An airhorn in your ear? Nothing wakes you up, mate.” Pip was probably already onto her…after all, it wasn’t like Alice to forbid people to entire the tour bus. Or awkwardly hide streamers and other trash scraps behind her back like she’d done nothing. It was going to be funny either way, she thought with a slight grin. But at that precise moment, Pip asked if she was alright and she let out an awkward, almost too excited laugh.

“Good, psh, yeah o’course,” Alice said, leaning even more heavily on her arm as she blocked his way to the Tour Bus. She wasn’t going to be able to get away with it for long – she just wished she had a few more minutes to dispose of the evidence…as if he wasn’t going to know that she was responsible.

She knew she was busted. There was very little she could do at this point to stop Pip from walking into the tour bus and seeing what she’d done. Alice was actually a little sad that she hadn’t managed to set up cameras and record the whole thing. Honestly, the fans probably would’ve eaten it up like cake.

“You gonna come in? Or just stand out there like an adoring fan?” Finally, she moved out of the door frame, allowing Pip access to the place that he called home – sometimes, at least.

[attr="class","reasontagalice"]@ daddio | 541 | OUTFIT

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[attr="class","lyric1misc"]he's a jolly good fellow

[attr="class","lyricbgmisc"]

[attr="class","lyric2misc"]FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
AND SO SAY ALL OF US!

[attr="class","textbodmisc"]It had been a morning already. Pip didn't know how else to describe things. He had awoken to an onslaught of messages from Soo-Jin, all pressing questions concerning some article that he had yet to even lay eyes on. Not that he minded any messages from Soo-Jin, really. Ever. But he much preferred them not to be on the topic of some supposed unborn child of his. Still, he could admit it was pretty amusing, that he was a suspected father of Zoë's baby. Soo-Jin seemed to believe him, and Pip wasn't sure why that was so relieving. Usually, he wouldn't really care. It wasn't like it was true, and a fling was just... a fling. Right? So it shouldn't have mattered all that much, whether Soo-Jin chose to believe him or whatever rubbish his boss decided to publish.

It did, though. Which was a little weird for Pip to admit, but it did. Anyways, that had been fine. Soo-Jin had believed him, she had come over with coffee and plans to make some sort of gift basket for Zoë--a way to say... sorry? Pip wasn't all too sure on the details, but Soo-Jin had seemed to know what she was doing. And then the rest was just a very good way to spend his rather late morning.

Pip knew what was happening. He was aware of it, anyways. Usually, if Kes knew the names of his current fling by heart, it was a good sign that it was turning into more than a fling. But things were still new, and Pip wouldn't push. Maybe a part of it was the fear of approaching some uncharted territory--which he would never, ever, admit out loud.

He had, though, only half been joking about hiring Soo-Jin for the band somehow. They could use a personal assistant, right?

Alice had that look on her face that was absolutely untrustworthy. Pip knew it all too well--it was like looking in a mirror sometimes. The band, all of them, they fit like puzzle pieces. Throughout the years, though, Pip had learned that Alice was most likely some long lost sister of his. It was the only explanation for the eerie similarities in personality--and for why he could always tell when something was a little off. This was... one of those moments. But he brushed it off for a moment at her light jab. "Please--keep an open mind, Alice," Pip shot back with a smirk.

Something was definitely off. His expression turned into one of suspicion as he raised an eyebrow at Alice's flippant reply. "All right then..." He would find out soon enough, honestly. Secrets between the band were short-lived, as far as Pip knew--which, he supposed, defeated the purpose of a secret. Still, he had a feeling that whatever she was up to would come to light very soon.

It was more the fact that she looked so pleased with herself that was putting him off.

Pip shrugged as she moved aside, fully lifting himself up onto the steps of the tour bus to enter. "Yeah, sure--" He was hardly one step in, but that was all it took. Pip cut himself off, stopped in his tracks, then slowly turned to look at Alice with a sigh. The bus was bloody decked out. Streamers everywhere, like they just won some fancy music award. Honestly, Pip didn't even think they put in this much effort for birthdays. CONGRATS DADDY PIP stared him in the face like an omen from hell. "Bloody hell, Alice..." he trailed off with a light laugh.

@ up to no good | 597 words | outfit

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF GS + WW

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