Angel On

Fire

Zoë didn’t know what to make of the life that she had gotten herself into. It was one night. It had been one, drunken night, with Link. Of course, it had been Link. It couldn’t have been someone normal. It couldn’t have been someone random that the press was never going to get ahold of. But no, it was Link. And now she was pregnant. And she was doing her best to hide it, but she was nearly halfway. 17 weeks. That was crazy to think about. The fact that she was seventeen weeks pregnant, and she was going to have a baby, and she didn’t… Well, she didn’t even know if she was going to be good at this. She didn’t have much of a choice really. She was going to do this, and she was trying. She had put her all into this. Giving up the things that she had been doing before. Working on being a better person for her daughter. Daughter. The baby was a girl… That was crazy to think about, but it was the truth.

She was going to have a little girl, and she knew that telling Link that had been important. She had sent him a message as soon as she had left the healer. They were going to have a daughter. And she knew that Izzy was going to have a kid too. She knew that Link was going to be there for that kid. It would probably even have his name, but their daughter was going to have hers. Armstrong. She had options. Names… She had names in her head, and she didn’t know if any of them were going to fit. That was a hard decision to make. She was going to have to try and figure that out. But she had time. She wasn’t going to be here until February after all. That was plenty of time. She liked Emerson. And she liked Hadley. But she wanted Link to get a say in that, if he wanted to have one. She was his daughter too.

And that bloody magazine… Zoë thought that she would have liked to have burned every copy of that damn thing, but at the same time, she thought that it meant something that she was still important enough to get noticed. If she really was as much of a nobody as being a muggleborn had made her feel, they wouldn’t have written about her. But she could do this. She could finish the album. She could have this baby, and she could hope that things were going to get better. She could hope that everything was just going to get better. Though, right now, she wasn’t convinced that anyone felt better about anything. Everywhere that Zoë turned it seemed like people were sneezing, and blowing noses, and sniffling. Everyone was catching some type of summer cold, and she was almost convinced to go walking around with one of those germ masks on. She didn’t think that her daughter needed that.

For the most part she was certain that she simply just didn’t want it. Zoë had had her fair share of times when she felt like death, and she wasn’t about to take it upon herself to feel like that while she was pregnant. She didn’t think that that was going to do either one of them any good. She would be miserable, and her little girl was going to get whatever she had from her. That wasn’t necessary. But so far, she felt fine, and she thought that that was for the best. Risking it to take the afternoon and go and see Alice was worth it. She hadn’t seen her for a long time now, and Zoë wanted to check in on both her friend, and the Polyjuciers in general. She had run into Pip Monday a few weeks back, and it had made her curious about Alice. So she had messaged her friend and asked her to meet for a late lunch, or, knowing Alice, it could have just been a regular lunch, depending on when she had gotten up today.

@alice - 690 - zoë's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOXOGRPHY 2.0

[attr="class","reasonalice"]

[attr="class","reasonbgalice"]

[attr="class","reasonbigalice"]

angel on fire

[attr="class","reasonsmallalice"]Had the whole world wrapped around my ring I flew too closely to the sun that's setting in the east And now I'm melting from my wings

[attr="class","reasonbodalice"]Alice was hungover.

It really wasn’t a surprise, given her predisposition for Saturday nights. But she was lucky that she had even made it to lunch today.

The Polyjuicers had had quite the night last night. They hadn’t even been planning on playing when they’d showed up at the club. But, they’d been recognized and before anyone knew what was happening, they were being pushed up on the stage for a set. Course, Alice hadn’t been able to say no to her fans and had convinced the rest of the group that they could play a couple of songs, couldn’t they? They’d agreed and by the end of the night, they’d done nearly a full concert for this unsuspecting club-goers. Notoriety did that, she supposed.

Alice knew that they were on the precipice of something big. She knew that before long, they would be a household name that people talked about. unforgivable five was a good start, she knew. An album that had its finger on the pulse of what was happening in the Wizarding World. It was dangerous, Alice knew, but she also knew that she couldn’t just stand by and watch as muggle-borns were treated the way that they were. They’d written it for them – the people that were struggling with their lives and struggling with the regime that loomed over them. She’d written it for people like Zoë – who she idolized. And Alice was proud of it.

Of course, there’d been some negative press when they’d first released it. People saying that they shouldn’t get themselves involved in the politics of it all. They were rock stars not political faces they argued. But Alice had a counterpoint: if they couldn’t use their platform for something that made a difference, what was the point? Good music would carry them far, but Alice wanted to be remembered as a band that cared…not just a band that lived.

But today wasn’t about her. Today had nothing to do with Alice. Because she wanted it to be about Zoë. She had a feeling she knew what she wanted to talk about; the article in Vexed last month was certainly a bomb that had been dropped on the Wizarding World – or at least, on Alice. She hadn’t known that Zoë was expecting. In fact, she still wasn’t sure that she knew anything. Based on the completely false articles Vexed had already run about her, she wasn’t sure there was much that she could believe that came out of that magazine.

But still, she had a feeling.

And, if she was wrong, then she was wrong. But at least she got to see one of her friends and grab lunch before her afternoon meetings with her agent.

Pulling her sunglasses from her eyes, Alice walked into the Clearwater Joint and looked around the room. It didn’t take her long to see Zoë. “Hi, Zo, sorry I’m late, sweets,” her eyes looked tired, but she’d glamoured them to cover up some of the exhaustion. One of these days, it was going to take a serious toll on her health, but until then, she would probably just keep pushing herself to the limit…just to see what happened. “Crazy night last night,” she explained, pushing some of her teal hair behind her ear. She was curious, but didn't want to just outright ask about the tabloids. No, she'd let Zoë tell her if she was ready. “How’re you?”

[attr="class","reasontagalice"]@ pregnant?! | 572 | OUTFIT

[attr="class","credalice"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

[googlefont=Fjalla One]
[newclass=.reasonalice]width:390px;background-color:#404040;padding:35px;border:1px #595959 solid;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbgalice]background-color:#ae81e7;padding:10px;height:115px[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbigalice]margin:-16px 0px 0px 115px;padding:0px 0px 0px 15px;font-size:30px;font-family:Fjalla One;text-align:left;color:#eee;text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonsmallalice]font-family:verdana;font-size:8px;letter-spacing:1px;color:#eee;text-align:left;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbodalice]background-color:#595959;padding:20px;font-family:verdana;font-size:10px;line-height:14px;text-align:justify;color:#eee;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbod balice]color:#ae81e7;[/newclass][newclass=.reasontagalice]background-color:#ae81e7;padding:20px;font-family:verdana;font-size:9px;text-align:center;color:#eee;letter-spacing:1px;[/newclass][newclass=.credalice]text-align:center;font-size:6pt;color:rgb(132, 132, 132);letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;margin-top:5px;[/newclass][newclass=.cred aalice]color:rgb(132, 132, 132);font-size:6pt;letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass]

faded away

you know, I used to be on fire

I'm standing in the ashes of who I used to be

She knew that she shouldn’t have been drinking. That had been what had done this in the first place. She didn’t have the control that she needed to have. And it hadn’t been pills. She hadn’t been doing anything more than drinking, but even drinking was a dangerous path for an addict. She shouldn’t have been doing it at all. She shouldn’t have touched any of it, and she thought that, in a way, this kid was a blessing in disguise. Because she was clean, and she was sober, and she had been since that night. Zoë hadn’t’ done anything that could harm this kid. Because it wasn’t about her anymore.

Since she had realized that she was pregnant, she had known that none of it was about her anymore. Nothing was going to be about her, and her alone, ever again. She was going to have a kid, and that meant that she had to grow u enough to take care of one. She had to figure out how to be a parent. Because she had never had parents that were decent. Getting her locked in a strait jacket and closed up in a white room was not the way to deal with a daughter that they didn’t understand. And it wasn’t like Link had had the best of parents either.

Things with Link were complicated too. He was her friend, and she thought that they could manage to just be friends, after all of these years, but now they were going to be parents, and to make it all worse, he was having a kid with his girlfriend too. That was the part that bothered her more than anything. Because Izzy was further along than she was. They shouldn’t have ended up in that bed at all. Not when he had a pregnant girlfriend at home.

And she knew that he hadn’t known. She knew that there was no way that he could have known when they had slept together that night. That they could blame it on the alcohol. But their daughter was going to be here in February, and that meant that they were going to have to figure out how to do this. Zoë didn’t want to get in the middle of whatever was happening with Izzy, most days. There were some days that she really wished that she didn’t exist. There were some days where she wished that Coffee Shop Girl would have stayed Coffee Shop Girl. But that wasn’t the case. They were a mess. All of them, and she didn’t know what to do about it.

There were no good answers to how to deal with this. Not when her face was on the cover of a magazine, and they were making guesses about who the father of her child was. She knew that they were going to talk. As soon as she had realized that she was pregnant Zoë knew that there was going to be talk about it. People had seen her out and about with Link at that club that night. They had seen her with people that she considered her friends. But to anyone that knew her, there wasn’t really any option. No one was going to really guess that the baby was Link’s. Not unless she told them. It had been years, after all. They were just friends now. Friends that were having a kid…

Chuckling a little bit when she saw Alice come in, Zoë could tell by looking at her that the amount of sleep that she had had last night was probably enough to fill less than one hand’s worth of fingers. She looked like she had seen both ends of last night’s candle burn out. “You’re fine. You look like hell.” There was a bit of a laugh to the end of her words, but she thought that telling the truth was what friends were for. “I’m fine. Starving. My date was late, and my bump is hungry, but fine.” Her smile stayed as she referenced the bump that she had taken to confirming to people that she cared about since that article had come out, and since her pants didn’t fit right anymore…

@ hangover queen • 701 • zoë's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[attr="class","reasonalice"]

[attr="class","reasonbgalice"]

[attr="class","reasonbigalice"]

angel on fire

[attr="class","reasonsmallalice"]Had the whole world wrapped around my ring I flew too closely to the sun that's setting in the east And now I'm melting from my wings

[attr="class","reasonbodalice"]“Hell’s never looked this good,” Alice said, reaching up to press the pads of her fingertips under her eyes. She could clearly feel they were swollen with bags and she hadn’t bothered to put on a show for Zoë. She knew her too well. Even if she had, her best friend would probably be able to pick them out in a matter of a few minutes. Alice knew eventually even glamours wouldn’t be able to cover up how exhausted she was. She would reach a wall that she couldn’t climb and then, she would finally have to rest. Fox was probably worried sick about her, but she truly did her best work when it was late and she was running off of coffee, alcohol, and sheer will-power. Alice liked to burn the candle at both ends – it was just a part of who she was. Late nights were for writing song lyrics and working through chord progressions. It was those late nights that helped them write unforgivable five. Without them, who knew where they would be?

She imagined that in five years, she’d look back on this period in her life and wonder what, exactly, she’d been thinking. She couldn’t be a reckless rock star for the rest of her life, could she? Then again, Myron Wagtail had done it and he’d turned out just fine. Alice sighed, reaching up to toy with a piece of her turquoise hair before she decided to just tuck it behind her ear. She didn’t even have time to work her Metamorphmagi magic. She was way too tired for that shit.

Pausing, she looked up sharply at the word ‘bump.’ “You are pregnant! Oh my Merlin, Zoë!” So Vexed had been right. That was probably a first. Alice just hoped that they hadn’t been right about pegging Pip as the father. That would be a disaster.

But, they needed to celebrate, she thought, waiving down the woman that was caring for their table this morning. Alice would get them something they could both enjoy – something that celebrated this momentous occasion. Her best friend was going to be a mum! And that sort of made her an Aunt, didn’t it? Of course, Zoë wasn’t her sister, but she was as close to a sister as she’d ever had. “A round of mimosas…” Alice paused, biting down on her lip and holding up a finger to their waitress. “Not those…Bloody Mary’s? No, erm…” who knew it was so difficult to order a virgin drink around here? “Waters? Can we just have two glasses of water and a huge plate of chips or something?”

The waitress ran off to get started on their order and Alice leaned forward, not sure if they could talk freely or if she should keep her voice down slightly so the whole world didn’t hear what they were on about. “I knew something was up with you. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Congrats, ah!” While Alice herself would never want to be pregnant, she felt that Zoë would be miles more a better mother than herself. She’d be great at it, really. “Are you excited? Is Pip the dad? Please tell me Pip’s not the dad…”

[attr="class","reasontagalice"]@ don't say pip | 538 | OUTFIT

[attr="class","credalice"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

[googlefont=Fjalla One]
[newclass=.reasonalice]width:390px;background-color:#404040;padding:35px;border:1px #595959 solid;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbgalice]background-color:#ae81e7;padding:10px;height:115px[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbigalice]margin:-16px 0px 0px 115px;padding:0px 0px 0px 15px;font-size:30px;font-family:Fjalla One;text-align:left;color:#eee;text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonsmallalice]font-family:verdana;font-size:8px;letter-spacing:1px;color:#eee;text-align:left;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbodalice]background-color:#595959;padding:20px;font-family:verdana;font-size:10px;line-height:14px;text-align:justify;color:#eee;[/newclass][newclass=.reasonbod balice]color:#ae81e7;[/newclass][newclass=.reasontagalice]background-color:#ae81e7;padding:20px;font-family:verdana;font-size:9px;text-align:center;color:#eee;letter-spacing:1px;[/newclass][newclass=.credalice]text-align:center;font-size:6pt;color:rgb(132, 132, 132);letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;margin-top:5px;[/newclass][newclass=.cred aalice]color:rgb(132, 132, 132);font-size:6pt;letter-spacing:1px;font-family:verdana;[/newclass]

faded away

YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE ON FIRE

I'M STANDING IN THE ASHES OF WHO I USED TO BE

Deciding to work on an album had been an undertaking. But being back in her apartment meant that she had access to everything that she hadn’t had in the alley. She had access to her equipment, and with equipment she could produce a record on her own. She could do that, she could make sure that it was ready to go, and she could release it, when she was ready. Maybe when the baby got here. That would be something, if she were in a position to release an album, while she was still registered. While the whole world seemed to be against them. She wanted to do it, to prove that she could.

Because they still knew her name. There were still people talking about her, she had been on the cover of a gossip magazine. And if the world was still talking about you, you were still someone. She was still famous. She was still someone that people noticed, and she liked that. She thought that she could use that. Because one of these days she was going to finish the album. And she was going to release it. And then where would they be? Because they couldn’t stop her. They had let her go. Or as much as they had let any of them go.

She had her studio back. She had everything that she needed for a raw, and real cut album. And she thought that it was something that they were just going to have to get over. Because she was careful. When she sang about magic, it was never in a way that the muggles were going to question. Being a crossover artist like that meant that they couldn’t control her completely. It meant that everything that was happening in the muggle world was still happening. It meant that they couldn’t stop her from making money. It meant that they couldn’t control her completely. And so long as they didn’t have complete control, she wasn’t giving up.

Zoë had never been all that good of a Gryffindor. Her basic instinct wasn’t naturally to fight back. But that had changed a little bit when it wasn’t just her anymore. Her daughter deserved better than that, and she was going to make sure that she didn’t let her down.

“I don’t know about that… Did you even look in a mirror this morning?” Zoë knew that over the last year and a half she hadn’t exactly looked the best most of the time, but she thought that she looked a little better than Alice did this morning.

Chuckling a little bit when Alice registered what she had said, Zoë nodded. “I am. Vexed finally got something right.” She didn’t think that they had gotten a whole lot of it right, even if they had used one of their guesses on Link, and that did happen to be the correct answer, but they weren’t the best at getting things right. Her chuckle turned into a full on laugh as Alice tried to order something that she could have. Reaching up she put her hand on the girl’s arm. “Bring her a Bloody Mary, and me a water.” Just because she wasn’t drinking didn’t mean that Alice couldn’t.

“You’re very excited about this.” It felt nice to know that there was someone that was excited for her. She knew that she hadn’t been the best friend during all of this, but she did love Alice. “I’m glad. She’s going to need her godmother to dote on her.” She had already decided on Alice for that. And Link could have an opinion, if he wanted one, but she wasn’t changing hers. She was still Zoë, and she was choosing Alice. This little girl was going to grow up with stars all around her. “She's not Pip's. No worries there.”

@ yes, i said godmother • 640 • zoë's outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0