Call Me a Sinner, Call Me a Saint
_{tell me it's over I'll still love you the same}

He couldn't keep doing this, racking his brain for things that he had no control over. He wanted to scream, to yell, to throw something. In the end, he should have known better. regardless of his own personal feelings, or the things that he had been through, he was not good enough for Sheryl Crabbe. Half-blood, has been, drunkard. His past would always dictate his future; words that his now dead father had once repeated over and over as Fenix threw away his youth being stupid. He had had no reason to believe him then. He had no reason to listen to the elder male. Instead, he had lived fast and free and done as he pleased, and it had left him here. Alone in a hospital, his magic lost Fenix had listened as Sheryl had come quietly to him. She had evaded his attempts at kisses before finally giving up, and then she had done it.

She had ended things, and he was left awestruck. His tears and telling her that he loved her did nothing, she would not bend. A trait that he loved about her had him ready to jump out of the window. He had just nodded his head and said that he understood before watching her leave to go back to her room. She wanted to focus on her children, on the bad. He had been distracting her, and she needed him gone. So they were done. Before things had really even begun, and he was pretty sure that the crack that his heart made could have been heard down the hall.

He wanted a drink and badly. He wanted to shag until the world ended around him. H wanted to watch the fire and ash of his life burn around him. He had been so good, done so good for so long and now he just... didn't care. It had only been seven months, not even that if he was honest with himself, and he had gotten sick, then she had. He had no magic now. He was sick still, in the hospital and he couldn't even play to try and make himself feel better. He had some friends who were around, they were all ill too, but maybe spending time with someone would get this off his mind. Writing a song would be fun. He would stop and see Luxx later, but for now, he went to Ziggy's room and dared anyone to stop him. He would be out of here soon he hoped. He was not running a fever anymore, but he still had a cough.

He knocked on the door and stepped inside the room before covering his cough with his arm. "Oi, West. Hows it?"

@ziggy | OUTFIT | 457

Call Me A Sinner
_{Call me a Saint}

Esme was so tired of being in this place. It creeped her out. It really creeped her out that children had been forced in here after going through Merlin only knew what in the muggleborn camps. Poor things. It was heartbreaking. She hated it. She felt powerless and that was the worst of it. Her heart was too big to let injustice like this go by without comment or action. It didn't feel like enough to just put lowkey opposition in lyrical form anymore. Being here made it way too real. This place had been a prison...and this is where they had put kids. KIDS.

It was all too much.

Especially when she felt like rubbish. A part of her was dying. She had seen it happen to the others first. She hadn't gotten sick at the beginning. She'd come later. She knew what was going to happen. Knowing she was going to lose her magic and actually losing it was all together different. It wasn't even that important to her. Her career did not depend on it... but it was still sad. It felt like a limb was fading out of existence.

What was life going to be like after all this?

The question crept into her mind time and time again as she lay in her hospital bed. It was a question she had no answer for. No one really knew what the future held...if the effects from this sickness would last forever. But if they did. That would have to change the magical world forever. Would it die?

She was drawn out of this perilous line of thinking by a melodic voice. Even sick, Fenix Octurius still sounded sexy as hell. She grinned at him and set up more in the bed, pulling her legs under her to make room for him, if he wanted to sit on the end. Fenix was a friend. They had written a few songs together. She wouldn't say she knew him incredibly well, but they got on.

"Spenc-" she warmly offered the first syllable of his real name as a greeting. Her fever had never been as bad as some other people's. It seemed to just hover a bit below 38 (or 100 F). Just enough to make her uncomfortable. The headache was the worst of the sickness for her. But she was learning to bear it after nearly two weeks of having the pain constantly. She could almost block it out.

"Making it...You're looking better. Going to get out soon?" It seemed like it would not be long before she was one of the only people left here in Pyxis. She was glad that the others were getting out, but she really did not like the idea of being here relatively alone. It was too creepy. She wished she could just go home and sleep this off in her own bed. It wasn't like they were actually doing anything to make the symptoms less miserable.

Fenix Octurius | OUTFIT

Call me a sinner
_{Call me a saint}

How could he have been so Wrong about it all. How could he have been blind and thought that a woman like her would want someone like him? It was driving him a little bit batty honestly and he was ready to do something stupid. He would be out of here soon enough and he had plans lots of plans. Pubs he had not seen in years would be revisited, fuck this. What was the point of being sober when everything was just more painful. He didn’t need this, he didn’t want this. He had wanted happiness, and wanted a family, a name that he could be proud of, and yet here he wa, a somehow fading light in an industry filled with up and comers. Young pretty new faces who were pushing him from the spotlight. Then what would he be? Nothing.

He was going to hit the studio and write too, he knew that he had feelings for Sheryl and things had been good in his eyes, but they were probably better off. After all her dick of a brother seemed to have a problem with him, Tib hated them together, and honestly, he was shocked she even liked him from the get go. Maybe it was the depression talking, or the pain of the loss of someone he cared for but he really wasn't’t about this life. He was just getting too old for it maybe. He wasn’t that old really, there were older in the business, but with his addiction, and his issues maybe it was time for him to hang up his mic and bow out.

He looked like shit and he knew it. He felt even worse, but he was holding it together the best that he could. He gave the pretty woman a small smile and nodded his head. ”Esme, how is it that I can be in the worst of moods and yet you brighten it almost immediately. “ Not even flirtatious, a statement of fact. He had never really tried to sleep with her, mainly because he respected her too much, and he didn’t want to lose her friendship. She was good to him, and they got on pretty well. A smile broke his face and he nodded his head. ”Yeah, magic is gone and from how it seems others have been doing, not long before they toss me out. “ He laughed and shrugged. ”I like the attention, don’t judge me.” He said before winking and laughing a little, rubbing his chest that was still sore from all the coughing.

@ziggy | OUTFIT | 430

Call Me A Sinner
_{Call me a Saint}

Esme curled her legs up to her chest, resting her chin against the smooth bare skin. Heat radiated off her, compliments of the slightly elevated body temperature. Thank Merlin, she had gotten a professional esthetician perform a semi-permanent hair removal charm on various parts of her body a few years prior. The magic was supposed to last at minimum ten years--which she had done for convenience before, but now she was just happy she was not going to have to try to shave her legs the muggle way.  She had seen more than a few nicks and cuts on friends back in New York--and have even gone with one mate to provide emotional support when the girl had gotten herself waxed. That seemed like torture and was definitely not worth it. At least that wasn't something she had to worry about in her new life without magic. 

There were going to be a lot of changes in life after this sickness. So many little things were going to be so much more difficult, it was an overwhelming thought that spun her mind when she tried to imagine it all---and that was just what she was thinking about, how much had not even registered yet? At least she knew a lot of people who would be going through the same sort of struggles--it made it easier to not have to face the unknown alone.

It was a nice break from her worrisome thoughts to get a visit from Spencer. She grinned as he said she brightened his day. "I'm just great like that-" she joked, but the woman really was touched by the words. It was really nice to know that even when she felt kind of like crap that she was still bringing some joy into the world. 

Ziggy had to laugh again when Fenix said he liked the attention he was getting here. "Pretty sure you get attention every where you go, love," she countered. "Besides you could just pretend you still feel bad and stay here with me, I'm not even close to getting out of this place." Her voice dropped just a little bit as she admitted: "And it gives me the heebie jeebies. It's bloody creepy here."

Fenix Octurius | OUTFIT

Call me a sinner
_{Call me a saint}

Everytime that he got a woman into his bed something seemed to go wrong. Every time that his behavior worked to his advantage someone or something had to come and just pull the fucking rug out from under him. It was like this every time. What was it about him that made him so fucking unlovable? What was it about him that made no one want him? Was he that bad of a person? What made him so hard to deal with? He knew that he had issues, and yes, he knew that stalking people and convincing them to sleep with him did not count as a date, just like convincing a fan to sleep with him was not a date, but that was kind of who he was. Opportunistic is what he called it. He never tried to be perfect, he was broken, he was a mess, and that was the appeal, right? Trying to heal the broken rock star wh just needed you and your love the whole time. Wasn't that what women wanted? To be the one who fixed the broken one? He had no idea and he was getting tired of trying to figure out what they wanted.

Hot, cold, fast, slow. No one knew what they wanted, but he offered them a chance to be something else, someone else for like fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes based on how much he had drunk beforehand. Sheryl had loved it until they had gotten sick, he had loved her in his way, he had loved being with her, and now she was dropping him because her piece of shit son 'needed her' he was a god damn grown man, but yeah whatever. He wished her luck with it but he just really needed to move past all that shit and drama. Tib was a good kid, don't get him wrong, they were like fire when they performed together, but this was hard for him to separate.

"Well, of course I do, I am an attention whore, love. Sort of what we do, you know. Could be so much worse you know, we could have had such different outcomes, but they know we aren't going to die. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Plenty of people have left already." He said before nodding his head. "We can hold up in my place with booze and take out to nurse you back to health." He wiggled his eyebrows, even if he knew there was a very large chance that he would be shut down. Didn't mean a bloke couldn't fucking try.

"At least we can leave, pisses me off thinking about the poor kids who were trapped here."

@ziggy | OUTFIT | 456