Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2018 6:17:52 GMT -5
OPEN
And I wished for one more day
to give my love and repay debts
to give my love and repay debts
Iseul-imo had given him mooncakes. It was surprisingly heartbreaking, but he had thanked her with a bow and kept them. Couldn't really bring himself to take a bite yet, he just held them against his chest, in their brown paper bag. She had probably meant well, tried to cheer him up by giving him something to remind him of home, but it was another kind of reminder. One that he didn't want. All they did was bring that letter back to the forefront of his mind. If there was one good thing that fever had done was that it had burned all conscious thought from his mind. In his least lucid moments, he almost imagined that Blue had changed his mind. Or at least come to visit him. No such thing. Maybe Blue was sick but U-Jin didn't know where his bo- ex boyfriend was. The fever had made him forget that he was disinherited and that the only good thing that could've come from that was no more. U-Jin had never had a problem with his duty, he'd been angry and frustrated at his parents for taking his toil and strain for granted, yes, but he'd never wanted to take that out on his brother or his clan. By getting disinherited, the clan suffered and his brother had to take up his mantle. Yeong-Su was too soft to be suited to such a thing. That was not a fault, being soft in their world was hard and U-Jin admired him for it. But it was still unsuited to be head of the clan and his little brother would suffer for it. No, being the heir would not have been a problem, if it weren't for Blue. The moment he read that letter, stating that he could not be the heir if he lost his magic, he'd... not taken it as hard as he could. It was not something he had done, he had not dishonoured them. He'd taken it as liberation and he'd presented it to Blue... only for his then boyfriend to realise how serious it had all been. That U-Jin meant it when he said he wanted to stay. It had scared him off and now- well, who knew where he was now? U-Jin didn't. He'd checked the apartment and Blue was moved out completely. So the only person he'd wanted to get rid of his duty for was gone and he was discarded with nothing to show for it.
He could go back to Seoul, of course. His parents said the clan would still look after him, would still support him financially. He could go home- if the borders were ever reopened. He didn't know if he wanted to go back, though. He had no magic anymore. He couldn't live in Seoul without magic, he would have to live in muggle society like all squib and... well, it felt a lot like being cast out. Like a squib, yes, except for the fact that U-Jin had lived in magic society all his life. He still had his memories. He'd been the heir to one of the largest clans. He would be home but... not in the way he wanted to be. Once, he had thought that if he were free, he'd play Quidditch. That was what he'd always wanted to do. Now, though, he couldn't even do that. His magic was gone, he couldn't fly again. Something that had given him so much peace, that had calmed him, that had brought him joy. He had lost that and he didn't know if he'd ever get it back. It seemed like everything had come crashing down on him, as if he were drowning in the shreds of his life. It was... it made living hard. What was he to do now? He didn't know. Right now, he was sitting on a park bench, holding his moon cakes. Letting his mind spin in its circles, reminding himself over and over of everything that had happened. Pouring salt in the wound by sitting right in front of the Quidditch pitch. His only company was Su-Won, but he was prowling the grass behind the bench. U-Jin just... felt lost.
With a sigh, he shook his head and opened the paper bag. He examined one of the cakes for a few seconds. The golden glaze, the delicate details. Still somehow warm- Iseul-imo must have cast a heating charms. She had kept her magic, somehow. What he would do for that privilege. So... he took a bite out of the cake and chewed, turning his head up to watch the cloudy, autumn sky.
He could go back to Seoul, of course. His parents said the clan would still look after him, would still support him financially. He could go home- if the borders were ever reopened. He didn't know if he wanted to go back, though. He had no magic anymore. He couldn't live in Seoul without magic, he would have to live in muggle society like all squib and... well, it felt a lot like being cast out. Like a squib, yes, except for the fact that U-Jin had lived in magic society all his life. He still had his memories. He'd been the heir to one of the largest clans. He would be home but... not in the way he wanted to be. Once, he had thought that if he were free, he'd play Quidditch. That was what he'd always wanted to do. Now, though, he couldn't even do that. His magic was gone, he couldn't fly again. Something that had given him so much peace, that had calmed him, that had brought him joy. He had lost that and he didn't know if he'd ever get it back. It seemed like everything had come crashing down on him, as if he were drowning in the shreds of his life. It was... it made living hard. What was he to do now? He didn't know. Right now, he was sitting on a park bench, holding his moon cakes. Letting his mind spin in its circles, reminding himself over and over of everything that had happened. Pouring salt in the wound by sitting right in front of the Quidditch pitch. His only company was Su-Won, but he was prowling the grass behind the bench. U-Jin just... felt lost.
With a sigh, he shook his head and opened the paper bag. He examined one of the cakes for a few seconds. The golden glaze, the delicate details. Still somehow warm- Iseul-imo must have cast a heating charms. She had kept her magic, somehow. What he would do for that privilege. So... he took a bite out of the cake and chewed, turning his head up to watch the cloudy, autumn sky.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west
