Wasn’t there any spell, any potion, any… thing that could make undone what he had just said? Any means to take back his confession? What was magic good for if it was absolutely useless once he really needed help? What he had said, it was so idiotic. It was… It was the truth, wasn’t it? The second part, yes, of course, it was. It was what had bothered him for months by now and made him apprehensive of everyone around him lest someone find out, especially Vi. During all this time, he had feared she or someone else would tell Clio about his crush and incense her. But who had in the end? He himself. Just… why? He hadn’t intended to say these words. He had… what had he wanted? Clio hated him. Why was he forgetting this? Just because she was behaving so differently from usual… was this a game? Were her friends hiding before the clock tower, sniggering at him blindly tripping into the most obvious trap ever? He should go and check. Quickly and brutally make an end to this cruel game. Why was she like that? This wasn’t the girl he had thought she was. This was sneaky and mean and very much not like how she had seemed until now. So, here was the truth at last, glaring at him mercilessly. He could deal with this. He wasn’t feeling like he was falling into pieces inwardly because everything he had thought he knew about his crush was proven wrong. She wasn’t impulsive and sincere and inconsiderate in her honesty. She was false and playing with his feelings and… all the better that she was like that. There was nothing to love about such a person. He just wished that his eyes would have been opened months ago. How had Vi been able to be friends with her for so long when everything about her was a lie? Clio must have known how he felt since forever and now she was enjoying her triumph.

His panic was cut short when she spoke again. This wasn’t the voice he had expected, not the laughter and the ridicule he had already heard in his ears. He glanced at the exit, half expecting that her friends were standing there and enjoying the spectacle. But, no, it was just the two of them and her assuring him that she didn’t hate him. She did! Not! Hate! Him! Could it really be true? He had accepted long ago that she had a deep aversion to him that was too strong to hide, and there was nothing he could do about it but avoid her and hope that one distant day she’d calm down enough to tolerate his presence. And all of this, a scenario that he had not doubted since he first realised that she was haunting his thoughts, it was all his imagination? He had been wrong all along? But Vi… Vi had insisted Clio didn’t hate him. And if her best friend and she herself said so… it had to be true. She didn’t hate him! Didn't hate. Didn't... He couldn’t stop repeating the words to himself. Over and over and over again.

But though she might not hate him, it couldn’t also mean instead that… She had said she had a crush on him. That couldn’t also be true, could it? He was just coming to terms with the fact that the one certainty he had had about her was wrong. He had spent months avoiding someone because he had thought his presence was bothering her. He had reexamined every single word or gesture he had made in her presence, every inconsiderateness he had ever committed towards Vi, trying to figure out which of these were the ones infuriating Clio. And all because of nothing? But he had known she hated him. What she had said, it just... couldn’t... “You really… don’t?” he croaked, hardly able to force the words out of his mouth. “B… but… you…” He had been so certain. At one point it had to have been true, otherwise he would never have become so convinced. “Not anymore?” he asked, desperate to understand. She had decided that she didn’t hate him at some point and he had been too blind to see the change. Too caught up in the past.

Had she really said she had a crush on him? Because all she now said was that she didn’t hate him. She was only making clear that he was the one with the crush. His hand was still outstretched towards her he suddenly noticed. He should drop his arm. How silly it had to look while she wasn’t moving. And neither was he. Nor his arm. “I said it, didn’t I?” he snapped. Why did he now sound so aggressive? What would she think of him? What was about her, that was what he needed to know? And why was she asking anyway again? She had heard him clearly the first time. “I’ve a crush on you. I’m thinking about you all the time. Dreaming about you. Do you need any more prove!” No, stop talking. Stop. Why was he saying all of this? His head would explode any second with how hot it had turned in  a few seconds. He was probably glowing by now. There had to be some way to take back these words. To make undone what was just happening.

“Er, yeah?” he said. He was about to panic, wasn’t he? He couldn’t breathe properly. Probably there wasn’t enough oxygen here. He’d collapse. He’d… Spiked pumpkin juice, he wished! “Because it’s not like I haven’t felt like that for months, right?” He shouldn't sound so angry. And what were his hands suddenly doing on her shoulders? He had almost shaken her. He could stop himself in time, but why wasn’t he taking his hands away? When had he crossed the space between them, they had been standing apart! He should make a step back. Not invade her privacy like that. He had to say he was sorry. He had to move. Go. What a mess. What a huge, irreparable mess.

---

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[attr="class","orange"]prisoner

[attr="class","vanilla"]here behind the wall i feel so small

[attr="class","gummies"]What would make Arthur believe that she disliked him so greatly? It had to have been something she had done, as he was so emphatic, so insistent, that she disliked him. Had she done something out of sheer awkwardness? How embarrassing that someone she cared about thought she vehemently hated him. Was there some sort of mistake she had made? She surely didn't wish for him to assume that she was miserable around him. In fact, it was the opposite. She usually felt euphorically giddy, and then nervous, and then she responded in whatever manner felt right. She usually just shoved all of that down at tried to act like normal. She felt upset that she might have offended him to the point that he had avoided her. But she had upset him, somehow. Somehow, she had given the impression that she disliked him deeply. And, here he was, saying that she hated him, that she hadn't once liked him. It was odd, to say the least.

What was she supposed to do? She had already insisted that she liked him a great deal, that she hadn't held any feelings of hatred towards him... Apparently, it wasn't enough. What wasn't enough about it? Did he want her to prove that she hadn't hated him? She could always go get Vi. Vi had heard enough of her mentions of her crush. Hell, it had gotten to the point that she had stopped mentioning it more than once a day-- it had to have been annoying to Vi. Because, really, why would she want to hear Clio wax on about her brother? Her twin? Octi could help. He knew how much attention she paid to her outfit when they had gone to the club, and Alis had warned her to have fun, not to pay too much attention to what Arthur was doing.

"I've never hated you-- really, I swear," Clio said certainly, furrowing her brows deeply. She would fiercely defend herself in this case. She knew that she was prickly, but to think that she had... Had she hurt him, making him think she hated him? She hadn't meant to. Oh, what a horrid way to continue the conversation. She... She couldn't blame him if he hated her over that. Whatever she had done to make him feel that way... She felt horrible. She was horrible. Horrible and horrifying. She shouldn't have... She didn't know what she did, but whatever it was, Clio shouldn't have done it. "I don't hate you, I didn't hate you. Ever."

It sounded more stammery than she had meant, but she had to... She had to just get the words out. She had to prove it, somehow, but she couldn't think of better words. All she had was her own word, and Clio... She didn't lie. She was honest. "You avoid me constantly," she said, crossing her arms. He had snapped, so she was biting back-- she should be nicer, considering how he assumed she hated him. In her defense, she had been snapped at, first. Of course she would respond that way. "I tried talking to you at the club, and you just looked at me like I went crazy! We were fine last year, when we were talking about your mum, and then you wouldn't even look at me!" She took a breath, trying to steady herself. There was no point in being mad and upset over something like this-- he had already said that he liked her, and she was ruining it! But she felt obligated to defend herself over this. "I mean, I was high, but still! And then at the Halloween Ball, you couldn't look at me, couldn't talk to Vi because I was standing there!"

And then he was very, very close to her. And he had already said that he liked her. Why couldn't she focus on that? Why was she getting so defensive? He had said that he liked her. That he had a crush on her. That he cared about her. Shit. Why couldn't she just process that, instead of getting frustrated? She knew it was hard to believe. She just-- after everything that she had explained, it was hard to believe it. She couldn't believe it. With how close they were, now, Clio was having a very hard time trying to get herself to believe it. She was distracted, just like she normally was when Arthur was around. She was very, very aware of his height and how nice his face looked. In fact, Clio was far too distracted to convince herself that he was telling the truth. "Okay, um... So you don't hate me? And you're... Not mad? That I have feelings for you?" She blushed again, immediately feeling stupid-- he was so, so close to her.

[attr="class","cherries"]# Arthur Stroud   | # 802 | # the ending of this was so difficult to write so sorry if it sucks lol

[attr="class","credz"]♕fai

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There should be relief, shouldn’t there? There shouldn't just be confusion and disbelief, for she didn’t hate him. She had said she had a crush on him. A confession that was far beyond anything he had ever dreamt of. This was the dream he hadn’t dared to believe in. Still couldn’t believe in. How could the opposite from what he had been so sure about be true? It was just too impossible. But how could he doubt such words? Not when they were coming from her mouth. When he heard them said by her voice. It didn’t become logical and magically made sense, but she was not a liar. He couldn’t not believe what she said.

“Of course I-” No, it wasn’t any longer “of course”. The reason for avoiding her… it didn’t exist anymore if she didn’t hate him. If he didn’t make her angry with his presence… all he had done had been completely pointless — or even contrary to what he had wanted. He had hurt her by doing what he had thought would help her. He had done everything the exactly wrong way like the anti-genius that he was. “I avoided you because I thought you… you hate it if I’m there. And I didn’t want you to hate me even more than you already do and so I… I thought if I’d be near you, you’d… I didn’t want to hear you tell me to piss off. Or fight me. Because… Vi…” Did Vi belong in this conversation any longer? This wasn’t about her anymore, not really. Though, had Vi known? How Clio felt? Merlin’s pants, why hadn’t she told him! Or at the club, she also hadn’t said anything. Sure, she had been in a bad state still and occupied by her own problems. He hadn’t been thinking about Clio either when he had gone there, just about his sister and that he had to look after her. He hadn’t even realised that she’d be there too. And when she was- he couldn’t remember. What had he done back then that made her still think about it? “B… but this is it, you were high!” She had just said it herself, so how could she ask? “High! You didn’t have control over what you did or said. You hadn’t been yourself, I couldn’t just… you know how wrong it’d have been if I’d… when I thought you’d wake up the next day and be horrified you had been like that with me and…” They had not been fine talking about his mum. They had agreed about how horrible Hogwarts with its idiotic obligatory balls was, and he had thought they were agreeing on important matters. But before and afterwards, she had glared at him and… he had only told her about his mum because she had been thinking that he was a weirdo and then- “Yeah, I told you about Mum being back and you as good as instantly turned around to go look for Vi. You practically fled from me! What should I think, tell me?” He hadn’t meant it as an accusation. Why were they arguing with each other? They should get along now, they should- They had just both said that they…

Really? She couldn’t have a crush on him. But then she did remember all these events that he had thought were only bothering him while everybody else had long forgotten. “You were standing there, yes,” he said, searching for words with the reasons that had been so logical only a quarter of an hour ago suddenly gone and he not knowing how to explain anymore. “I thought you hated me, so of course I didn’t talk to you, as that would only have made you angry. I thought. And I didn’t want you to be angry. And I didn’t want to be near you when you showed so much revulsion — when it looked like you didn’t want me near — I wanted to be with you, want to be with you-” What was he saying? That was not up to the point. “-but being with- being where you are… I… if it made you mad, and you’d tell me, and… it was less painful to not see you than to… and you’d glare at me and I’d think, any moment you’d shout at me or… but… but… I was wrong?” Was this still a question? She had answered it, so why couldn’t he believe her? Or he believed her but not himself? Not his ears, not his eyes, not his…

Hands? His hands didn’t belong on her shoulders. He was invading her privacy. Why didn’t she push him away? She should because he had no idea anymore how his muscles were supposed to work. He could do nothing but remain where he was while he was very much aware that he was touching her. Only her shoulders but… it was her. It was what he had always… tried to not dream about. “I am mad,” he whispered. They were more than close enough that she could hear him effortlessly. “Not at you. I’ve never been mad at you. But I must be mad now. You… To think that we... Is there a ‘we’?” What a silly question. This was not what should be said in such a situation. Or done. When his head was a few inches from his  crush’s head while she admitted that she liked him, and when he could see every single freckle on her reddened face, then why was he there stuttering nonsense?

---

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[attr="class","chocolate"]

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[attr="class","orange"]Prisoner

[attr="class","vanilla"]here behind the wall i feel so small

[attr="class","gummies"]How were they both on the same page-- and still confused-- all at once. Clio had half a mind to just freeze the conversation in her head, to go over it slowly and carefully. Of course, she didn't have abilities like that. If she had, she probably would have frozen time a long bit ago so that she could just organize her thoughts a bit better. Because they both agreed, didn't they? They thought one person hated the other. They thought that their feelings were one-sided, and, because of that, they were attempting to shy away from the other person. They both didn't want to overstep. They both didn't want to hurt the other's feelings. So how had the gotten here? Standing super close, defending what actions they had taken, however backwards they were. They agreed, so this should have been easier. Everything should have been easier.

Of course, something could be said about working harder. Harder, that was what this had become. She had watched the Harpies practice over the summer, and Melza had said something rather intriguing: work smarter, not harder. They had taken the hard way out, both ignoring the other out of some stubborn insistence that they each were disliked. Okay, clearly that hadn't been the best choice of action. Because here was Arthur, saying that he had had feelings for months. Months, not just a small time. Months, and they had both been so sure about the other person's feelings of hatred. It was just miscommunication, messing up over and over and over again. And things were finally coming clean, and she was scared and nervous. What was she supposed to say now? Because they were still this close, still standing a breath apart from each other. Still talking about how they were both thinking when things had happened.

"I didn't flee, I just didn't know what to say!" she exclaimed, pushing her bottom lip out in frustration. Okay, so she might have glared-- had she? She remembered being unsure what to do, unsure what to say. She remembered being very unsteady, for once. And she recalled rehashing what had happened, over and over again, unsure as to why it mattered. But he was right, wasn't he? She had been high. But still. "You know, I would've already decked you if I didn't like you. I punched Aphrodite Morgan ten minutes after I met her, and we were in nappies." She said it far too matter-of-fact. She was probably making him regret everything that he had just said. It was just-- she felt like this was justified. She felt like she had to explain herself. But at least this was better than thinking that he hated her. Sure, it was some sort of strange back and forth insistence that they did, in fact, like each other. And sure, she knew that Vi was probably going to throw her hands up in frustration at the whole thing. But it was better. It was better than her thinking that everything was horrid and terrible.

And she wasn't about to cry anymore, so there was that. She wasn't staring at Arthur with tears in her eyes, but instead with a focus and intention. They were going to sort out whatever this was. They were fixing things. They were going over what had happened, and she was actually registering what was going on. Because, really, this was a dream. Arthur Stroud had just admited that he liked her. He liked her, he liked her enough to be worried about upsetting her. That was... It was nice. It was definitely really nice. And he was standing right there, saying that he hadn't wanted to upset her, and that was why he was avoiding her... And she hadn't been avoiding him, not really, but she had been so aware of his distance... She had been certain that it meant that he had disliked her.

Her brain was going in circles, and she was blaming the proximity. They were so, so close. Had she ever been this close to him before? No, this was new. And scary. But she was a Gryffindor, through and through, wasn't she? She was brave and brash and impulsive. She dove into things that were brand new, and she succeeded. And here she was, faced with trying to figure out what to do next, what to figure out... This was uncharted territory. This was something she needed to solve. "I'd like for there to be a 'we'," she admitted, smiling shakily. She remembered the last time that she had smiled at him-- it was at the club. Of course, she smiled a lot when mentioning him to Vi, but that was a whole different point. Now, she was smiling at him. "If you're okay with that."

[attr="class","cherries"]# Arthur Stroud   | # 799 | # gOOD MORNING EVE

[attr="class","credz"]♕fai

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Apparently, there had been countless signs of her liking him, and he had succeeded in interpreting every single one the wrong way. And so had she. He knew which occasion she meant and he remembered her gestures and her expression, only now they didn’t mean anymore what he had been so convinced they meant. How could the same event look completely different just because one change had happened? At one point, he’d have to go back and figure out where exactly he had gone wrong, but not now. Not when it was still so new and so incredible and so beyond anything he had ever imagined. It had bothered him so much how she had run away to search for Vi. Less when it had happened, more later on when he had started to go over all the details that proved that she hated him. Not hated him. “You could have said that,” he mumbled, as soon as he had said it realising how idiotic it sounded. To suggest that she should say she didn’t know what to say. As if he’d do something like that. It was ridiculous. Why was he talking like that anyway? This wasn’t the time for blaming her, for he didn’t blame her. Not really at least. It was sort of her fault that she hadn’t made it clear how she felt. But the same could be said of him, so who was he to talk? How could he blame her when he had committed the same mistake just a thousand times more idiotically? They hadn’t talked to each other for months because of this. If they had only said something, they would have been spared months of trying to stop emotions that wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard he had tried to convince himself that he had to let go. They could have got to this point a long time ago.

He smiled sheepishly. “I thought you didn’t want to because I’m Vi’s brother. Because it'd upset her, and that’s why you let me continue to live.” There should be nothing sweet about violence. But then everything about her was adorable, so how couldn’t this be either. He probably should figure out who this Aphrodite was again; it wasn’t like he had ever cared about more than one very specific sixth-year. What was he doing? Thinking about meeting her friends? Wasn’t he jumping ahead here? They weren’t even in a relationship. Yet. Could they be? She hadn’t said she wanted anything from him. He didn’t know what he wanted from her. He had forbidden himself to think about her. Not that he had obeyed himself all that well, but that didn’t change that he had no idea how to go about all this. What was he supposed to say or to do or… what if he did something wrong? Usually, when he was in similar situations — not similar, he’d never been in a similar situation — when he felt overwhelmed and feared that every new word he said could be the wrong one, he just ran, literally or figuratively. It was sort of enticing, to turn around and go and… maybe corner Vi and ask what he was supposed to do. Begging his sister for advice how to date her best friend? Put like that, it sounded moronic. Yes, it had been a moronic thought. He didn’t need Vi to tell him that… that… okay, he really could use someone to tell him what to do because he was pretty sure that gaping at a girl was not considered romantic.

Romantic? He needed to do something romantic? He didn’t know anything about this stuff. Why hadn’t he thought ahead and prepared how to properly ask her out? But of course he hadn’t thought of this. This had been the very last of things he had expected to happen. Nothing of what he had planned to say still made the least sense. He had thought he’d be talking to a girl who hated him. So why should he think about dating vocabulary. Dating? He was skipping ahead again. They weren’t really talking about this yet. Or were they? He had asked about a “we”. That did mean he had told her he wanted to be with her… why was he still at this point? If they both had a crush on the other, they both wanted the same… he guessed? “M- more than okay,” he said, finally finding the muscles in his face again and he smiled back. That… was it? They were a couple now? It was… How… “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade the next time we can?” This didn’t sound like he had thought it would, not when he couldn’t recall when the next Hogsmeade weekend was. But then what was he to say? Why had he never payed attention to how others dated? Who dated anyway? Nick and Atha? But they were already together since so long, he couldn’t even remember how they got together. Who else? Why couldn’t Vi be dating, then he’d have a prototype to tell him what to do. For he could think of one thing. And it was too early for that, right? There was an order of what came after what when dating and… but what did come next if not… breathing in deeply as if he were about to dive into the Black Lake, he gave up on finding out what was the right thing to do and instead bent down, half expecting her to back away and yell at him to stop, and softly put his lips on hers.

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[attr="class","vanilla"]here behind the wall i feel so small

[attr="class","gummies"]At some point, Clio thought that she would be able to look back at this whole situation and grin. It could have honestly gone a lot worse. There could still be miscommunication, still be some uncertainty. They could still be gaping and attempting to spew out some sort of words, but to no avail. They could be trying to focus on different things. And it was funny, that this was how it had all started. Everything had started that way. They didn't know how to speak to each other from the start. They had misinterpreted, they had assumed... They had messed things up purely off of that. They had avoided each other purely to make sure that they didn't do anything wrong. How stupid that was? No wonder her mother insisted that she was emotionally stunted. She barely attempted to admit to feelings, and on the off chance that she did, it was only moments after that she kept things bottled up. She had hid instead of speaking, and she had assumed instead of attempting to fix things.

Things would have been easier if they had just stopped guessing. Because, when they kept assuming, they were messing things up. Clio had just guessed-- and Vi had told her otherwise, hadn't she? More than once. Vi had told her that she was being ridiculous, that she shouldn't have just decided that Arthur didn't like her. But Clio had thought she saw the signs. She had been so, so certain. Because it made sense, to her, that he wouldn't like her. And she had been so, so wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong... Clio was very happy that she was wrong. And then a bit embarrassed that she had said she would have punched Arthur. It wasn't a secret that she did try to fight a lot of people (what with her and Aphrodite essentially having a pact to curse one another on sight). But she was a bit unsure what to think that Arthur would know. And then, she had to think for a moment. Would she have made an exception? The rest of her friends-- the few, of course, that she had-- didn't really have siblings that she associated with, or ones that she disliked.

Then again, she did have the thought to punch Amelia Zabini. Carin had mentioned they were being silent and distant, and... Well, that wouldn't do. But she did find Carin's brother to be a bit soft, and she knew that Athazaz would somehow find a way to blame himself. Then she would have the Head Boy mad that she had upset his boyfriend, and Clio, while all about dismissing authority at most turns, really didn't need to be in trouble for smoking and the like on Hogwarts grounds. But Arthur... She didn't think she would have punched him in the face even if she didn't like him. Or would she have? She didn't know-- she did like him, so she probably wouldn't have punched him. She really couldn't fathom not liking him; even before she had a crush, she didn't dislike him. And, of course, he was right-- it would hurt Vi's feelings, and she wouldn't have done it on those grounds.

That was all besides the point now, wasn't it? Because she liked him, and he liked her, and this whole confusing thing was finally making way for a brand new confusing thing. Instead of staring at each other certain that the other was angry, now Clio was standing there with the overwhelming uncertainty of what was supposed to happen next. What else was she supposed to say? Because she was certainly distracted again-- Arthur smelled nice, and he was so close, and they were on the same page, and, and, and... She couldn't ask Vi, for more than one reason. Actually, all she could hear Vi saying was "remember to ask before kissing someone". And what if she was jumping ahead? She certainly shouldn't do that. She wouldn't want to get ahead of the whole situation, especially when they didn't even... Okay, okay, she could focus.

Hogsmeade. Good. Yes. And then she realized she didn't actually agree out loud-- thankfully not even a half beat too late. "That sounds great! Um, not to that pink place though, right? It's a bit... much." While Clio did try to support every type of femininity (and Melza would kill her otherwise), it was just... Not her speed. She had taken Vi on a gag lunch there, and it was painful. A moment later, she was doubting how she answered. Was that not good? What if Arthur had wanted to go there? Oh, she shouldn't have trashed it, even if she was dialing back how much she disliked it. And why couldn't she remember the name of the tea shop? Had all words attempted to fly away? Before she could continue to be overly flustered, searching for the next thing to say, the next way to explain that really, she would go there if he wanted...

Arthur Stroud was kissing her. Her first thought was a curse-- she hadn't been expecting it, she didn't know what was coming. Of course, after surprise, she was completely and utterly thrilled. This wasn't anything that she would have guessed would happen today. No, not at all. And certainly not after the start of the conversation. And! Oh, what were her hands doing? Her arms were still crossed. She moved them to his waist as she kissed him back.

[attr="class","cherries"]# Arthur Stroud   | # 916 | # boom

[attr="class","credz"]♕fai

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Hogsmeade was the number one romantic date location, or so he had thought a second ago, until he had suggested it. Not that they could go to any other places until the holidays. And the stupid holidays had just ended. Why hadn’t they had this conversation before the Christmas holidays. Then, they could have spent time together. Gone to Diagon Alley or somewhere else in London. Movies, that might be an option. His mum sometimes took them to this Muggle thing. He was sure he had seen couples there. Where did Clio live anyway? Vi certainly had said it at some point. Hopefully near enough to London that they could see each other over the Easter Break. And over the summer. And then she’d go back to Hogwarts and he… why think in advance? He had wasted the Christmas holidays by sitting glumly at the family table with everything around him feeling broken. But now, now he would spend every possible second with Clio, and everything was whole, perfect. Certainly, his parents’ relationship was still weird, and they wouldn’t explain anything. But this was their problem. They were supposed to be adults, who could solve their own affairs. Like he had done today. He now had a girlfriend. Not just any girlfriend, but the only one he had ever wanted — or since the Halloween Ball. That was just because he was slow, though, so it didn't count. He had loved her as long as he could think, he just hadn’t noticed before. But it didn’t matter anymore because at long last he had noticed. And all he had to berate himself for was having lost so many weeks, months, maybe years, that they could have had together. But it didn’t matter. Now they would stay with each other. Hopefully. There was a painful moment of her being silent when he had suggested Hogsmeade, but then she answered, and he was so happy to hear her voice accepting his suggestion that he didn’t register at first second part of what she said.

Pink place? There was a pink place in Hogsmeade? Which one again, he had never been in a pink place; no, he had heard something mentioned… “Oh, that Puddingfoot thingy, no, I wasn’t planning to,” he said. Wait, that was the place couples went to, right? The place for dates. So, she might not want to go there, but maybe expected him to plan it. Because it was a couple thing to do! And he had just said that he wasn’t planning on couple things. What were couple things anyway? He had no idea. Why had he never given this stuff any thought? It had never seemed like an option ever before, that a girl, a real, corporeal girl of flesh and blood, would want to go out with him. And he was a year older than she was, to top it all off. That should mean he knew more — but he knew nothing. Not that he had the least idea what she knew, and he was certainly not going to ask because… awkward? Or he just really hated the possibility that there had been something before him? Not that it should matter — and it didn’t matter — that was why he didn’t want and didn’t need to know. It was just the two of them now. And right now that was both elating and scary.

Just… wasn’t there an awful lot of stuff he could do wrong? And if he knew something about himself, then it was that he managed to do things wrong usually. He had never so much wanted to do everything exactly right as much as in this moment. It wasn’t supposed to be this difficult, was it? It should be simple. It was just her and him and they were together. End of story. Beginning of the story. A beginning he really didn’t want to ruin — though maybe thinking too much about it was ruining it. There were other couples at Hogwarts after all, he must have noticed some stuff of what they would do together. Well, not really, no, he had mostly ignored them. It was sort of embarrassing to watch couples, wasn’t it? So, could they be embarrassing together? It’d be better to stop overthinking things and just do what he felt like doing, hoping that Clio would agree. After all, they had already agreed on all the important stuff, or at least him liking her and her liking him, so she might also be okay with a kiss.

He hadn’t had the time to think what would happen if he actually did kiss her — which was probably for the better because then he might have decided that it was too early. And for the first one or two eternally lasting seconds, he had gained the conviction that he had committed a huge mistake and his time with Clio was now over before it had even started. Because she didn’t react. Or move. Or… anything. And he had just reached the decision that he had to let go of her and bring several feet of distance between them before apologizing profusely. But then… she moved her hands, and for a split second he thought she wanted to push him back, which, okay, would only have helped him do what he had told himself to do, namely stop touching her. He didn’t even have the time to feel anything but resignation until her arms were around him. And she was kissing him. And… his arms tightened around her, and he forgot to worry about whether he was a rubbish kisser and just decided that he would be happy never again breaking away from Clio. This could last forever.

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Words: 960

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[attr="class","chocolate"]

[attr="class","sprinkles"]

[attr="class","orange"]prisoner

[attr="class","vanilla"]here behind the wall i feel so small

[attr="class","gummies"]Had she made the wrong choice, downgrading that gross pink place? That was what a bunch of couples did, as far as she had heard. Her brother, of course, hadn't ever gone, but he had always been one of the more quick-acting people. He dated, he moved on. Hell, he had even made out with Octi when he was bored. Her sister, on the other hand... Hadn't Olive gone on a date there? To the tea shop? She had said something of it, once... It was a pity that she couldn't remember. But she and her sister were completely different, she wanted that said. They weren't the same, not at all. Her sister was flowery and silly and sweet. She had actually enjoyed that whole date. Clio knew that she wouldn't like it from having already been in there. But what if Arthur would have? She should have kept her mouth shut, she should have figured out if it was something he was fond of. She shouldn't have guessed. They had already had an issue with that-- guessing that they each hated each other. She should have asked.

But she had guessed. Well, it likely wouldn't be a disaster, right? Maybe she could voice a different idea. Somewhere else fun that they could go. Where did people go on dates? She could ask Maggie. Was that a good plan? Probably not. Maggie was just as awkward as she was. But she was dating, wasn't she? She knew she could also ask Octi or Alis, but... Well, while she did love them, they weren't the wisest ones when it came to romance. And, again, she didn't want to ask Vi. She didn't want to bother her with stuff like that. It felt like it wasn't fair, asking her about her brother. That would be dragging her into things, and she was sure this wasn't something that Vi wanted to know. Of course, she was going to have to tell her later. Wait. Which one of them got to tell Vi first? She usually knew where Vi was, but she thought that was cheating. Besides, Arthur and Vi were twins. So was that fair of her, to seek Vi out immediately after? Or... Okay, now she was overthinking. She was ruining the moment, the whole situation... Just by overthinking.

At least she wasn't overthinking the whole kiss aspect. Actually, she was extremely grateful she wasn't driving herself mad with constantly moving thoughts. Because this? This was nice. This was amazing, actually. This was what she had been distracting herself from, and this is what had wound up happening. Did she ever think that she would get here? No. No, she didn't ever think it would happen. She was so sure that she would end up getting over her crush, moving on, pinching her arm until she finally was able to say that she was fine. But no. Here she was! Kissing him! She was half-convinced that she was dreaming, that things were going to change so suddenly and so rapidly that she would know. It would make sense that this was a dream, but... Well, nothing was as clear when she was asleep. So it wasn't a dream. She was really kissing Arthur Stroud, who didn't actually hate her, who actually had feelings for her.

Even when they parted, she didn't move-- she kept her arms around him, and she felt a smile on her lips. She probably looked like an idiot as she stared up at him. She felt like an idiot, at least. But a happy idiot. A very happy idiot. Out of everything, she hadn't been expecting this. The whole conversation had been a whirlwind of events, but this... It hadn't been something she could have predicted. Then again, it wasn't like she would have listened to any sort of nagging feeling that pushed her towards the thought. She would have assumed that it was just wishful thinking, anyway. It was still, yeah, but now it was fact. An actual, living fact. She and Arthur had kissed, and they were a "we". And they were going to go on a real date.

Shit. Was Melza going to threaten him, now? She wouldn't mention anything to her until she could figure it out. She'll have to ask Skye if she could control Melza for a bit-- or ask Aunt Gwenog instead. "Um.." Great. Where had all of her words gone? She nearly had a million of them, running around in her head, but as soon as she opened her mouth-- gone! "The next Hogsmeade trip's in February. 'Cause the next Saturdays are Quidditch, Quidditch, Hufflepuff match, nothing, then Hogsmeade." Was she stupid for knowing that? Someone had posted the details on the Gryffindor bulletin, and she had accidentally memorized it.

[attr="class","cherries"]# Arthur Stroud   | # 800 | # i feel like this is so bad sos

[attr="class","credz"]♕fai

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What was maybe the strangest thing to happen today out of all the strange things that had already happened was that he wasn’t nervous anymore. He had been nothing but worries, disbelief, and doubt until the exact moment when she had kissed him back. There had been so many questions he needed to ask her, and himself. But he couldn’t remember them, not a single question in the world, because this was answer enough to everything he had never asked. Or maybe he had asked. He couldn’t remember, as there was nothing but the present and the fact that he was with Clio. He was vaguely aware that there were other problems in his life that had nothing to do with Clio Jones, like his marks or his parents or Vi's well-being and that they were important. But it was impossible to remember why. And there was also no point in remembering when nothing but the present mattered, for if he thought anything else, he’d have to deal with the fact that the present was not an endless stretch of time but only a moment that was over as it happened.

He wasn’t sure when or why they broke apart. There just came a point where they had because some time later he realised that she was smiling up at him. Oh, and he was smiling back, apparently since quite a while and probably stupidly. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered as long as she was smiling like that. He hadn’t known she was capable of such a soft expression. There had been that one time during the summer, but she had been high and he hadn’t thought anything of it and… now she was smiling at him, and he knew it, and it was a miracle. He really should go back in his memory and reconstruct why they had needed so long to reach this point. But not now. Not today. Not while he was far too busy memorizing every detail of her face that he had up to this point tried so hard not to look at. Could it really only be minutes since he had been convinced that he needed to avoid any eye contact in case it angered her? It was so easy and simple standing here with her. It made sense. Not that he could say why, and upon waking up this morning, he would have very much disagreed with himself, but the morning was long ago. He had been mistaken about so many things back then, but now everything had been solved, far more easily and logically than an Arithmancy problem. Not that it was logical because it was insane, but at the same time, there could be no question that it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Wh-” He needed a second before his brain caught up to what she was talking about. Right, he had asked her to go to Hogsmeade with her. Not that he had forgotten, it had just… lost much of its weight, of the significance that it had had when he had said it. Because now, things were different. Of course, they’d go to Hogsmeade together, it was not a question anymore. Or at least not to him… why was there something like a doubt again? There shouldn’t be. And there wasn’t. No, they were still standing there with arms around each other. That was enough. “Quidditch, yeah, exactly, Vi’s started training again,” he said, trying to arrange his thoughts the right way. But why had he mentioned Vi? Yes, because she was on the team. And with Atha being captain, Quidditch was hard to completely ignore, at least when Hufflepuff was playing. There was a match against Slytherin upcoming, which meant… right, two other matches before that, it added up with what Clio was saying. “When’s Gryffindor playing? I’ll go and watch,” he said and lowered his head to rest it lightly on Clio’s, not wanting to move away from her yet. Gryffindor wasn’t playing Hufflepuff, he hopefully remembered this correctly. Otherwise, he’d have to… have to… he’d decide later on what he’d do then. “So that means… the second Saturday in February? Not that we won’t see each other before that or… Right?” He moved away from her enough that he could glance down at her face. It was stupid to worry about this. Just because they’d go to Hogsmeade together, it of course didn’t mean that it would be the next time they’d see each other. Hogwarts wasn't infinitely big. And she wanted to be with him too, so this was idiotic. Like a lot of what he had said already.

“Er, do you want to sit down again?” he suggested. It was weird talking to her while her forehead was level with his throat, and the only other option to sitting was standing further apart — which would definitely be worse. “When’s your next class?” he asked. Not that they could stay here for forever or even until dinner, it was too cold for that, but he didn’t want to go yet nor could he think of any other place for them to be. There had to be other places, Hogwarts was huge. Something would come to mind, and until then, it was warm enough here if they remained this close.

---

Words: 891

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[attr="class","chocolate"]

[attr="class","sprinkles"]

[attr="class","orange"]prisoner

[attr="class","vanilla"]here behind this wall i feel so small

[attr="class","gummies"]They were so close to each other, and her arms were still wrapped around him-- thank goodness nobody had walked by them yet. Even then, Clio wasn't sure that she would even let go. No, she liked this. She could finally be this close to him, and she didn't want to let go yet. She wasn't distancing herself. She wasn't making sure that she kept her gaze down, her words clipped. She was actually able to stare at him, albeit awkwardly. She was still vaguely concerned that she was annoying him. But he had kissed her, so... And then everything rushed over her again, and she was still grinning, still close. She didn't feel the need to pull away, to look another direction. She was warm and content and happy and... She didn't imagine that something like this could happen-- or would happen. Clio assumed the rest of her sixth year would pass just like her fifth: she would study hard for exams, whatever adult she felt was worth her time would inevitably abandon her.

To be fair, the latter was already happening. But she didn't think there would be anything in between that. She didn't think that she would be standing this close, she didn't think she would have kissed Arthur. But no, it had happened, and her year was ultimately different because of it. In the good way, of course. Always in the good way. She knew she would be happier because of it. They were going to go to Hogsmeade, they were actually... dating? Could she call it that, if they hadn't gone on a date yet? She wanted to. They weren't going to be able to even go on a date until February, and it just seemed so far away. Too far away to leave things like this up in the air. But she was still vaguely unsure what Arthur would want, and she knew she had to ask. She had to make sure they were on the same page.

They had to be. She had already overthought, and now she was done. She was Clio Jones. She didn't do stuff like that. She was sure, she was positive. Look what being unsure had gotten them both? She could have kissed Arthur a month or so ago. But no, they had both been unsure. And as she had her arms wrapped around him, she was sure that she was trying to convince herself that she wasn't going to be uncertain like that again. It wasn't like her. "We're the two matches before Hufflepuff's," she answered, smiling as he lowered his forehead. They were still close. And now they were closer. It just felt right, and she was a little bit gladder that she didn't have to crane her neck. "Of course we'll see each other before!" She hadn't meant for it to be that loud, but she meant it. She wasn't going to just hide for three weeks. No, of course not. They were going to definitely see each other before their Hogsmeade date.

"Sure. My next class isn't for a bit; I have Herbology next," she said. Sitting was good, but staying was fine as well. No matter how cold she got, she was going to end up in the greenhouses, and it was warm and stifling in there on a good day. Clio didn't move for a few seconds, her fingers just toying with his shirt as they stood that close. And then, she unwound from him and purposefully took his hand. "We can also go sit somewhere warm, if you'd like."

[attr="class","cherries"]# Arthur Stroud   | # 598 | # boom we got the clio confidence back

[attr="class","credz"]♕fai

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