We're here to stay

we won't run, and we won't run

I'll be here to hold your hand

Relationships were a funny thing-- They sprang up organically, taking root in your life even when (and often especially when) you were neither looking nor prepared for them. That was how it was with Perenelle. He had not been looking for someone to hold his interest any more than he had been looking for a new job, but Draco's life was much better for both. Companionship was important. Real companionship was difficult to come by. While his bed had never been empty if he wanted it filled, there had been considerable stretches in his life where a void had existed for him in other ways. Without a sharp mind and quick wit, the Malfoy was not going to ever really be invested in pretty face. He knew well that he did not have to settle--that there were those out there who were just as gorgeous and brilliant as he was--most a good bit more modest, too.

Nell was most definitely not him settling. She was brilliant and beautiful---and he trusted her. The pair had been seeing one another now for a couple months. She had spent more than a few nights at his place, but Draco had not spent very much time at hers. He was going there today, though. She had had him added to the wards, already--something that showed trust was reciprocated between them. So, he was able to floo directly to the castle. Impressive as the Flamel residence was, he had not made any comparison between it at Malfoy Manor. Both were old estates, but Nell's home did not chill him the way his eventual inheritance did these days. There was something welcoming about the Flamel place--perhaps it was just her that made it so.

The wizard had not even bothered to go home after his last lecture. He didn't think it was worth the wasted time. The age they were did not really prevent him from being in the new relationship state of mind. While he wasn't going so far as to be clingy, he was still very eager to spend time with Nell and really looked forward to seeing her. Maybe some couples stayed this way long after the new wore off... Who knew if they would?

Draco had little idea what the future might hold, but he knew that for now he was quite happy to be spending time with Perenelle...and so, tonight, he was going to talk to her. Like really, really talk to her... She had not asked him about his Dark Mark. She'd been aware of it the entire time they had been together, but she had never asked him about it or what he had done. Her choosing to let him speak of it on his own time meant a lot to him. It felt like a gesture of trust and non-judgment in a time when he saw very little of either of those things from a grand majority of the world.

Curses were mumbled under his breath as he stepped out of the flooplace arriving from Bangor to the castle. Draco was graceful in his exit, of course, but he still hated the mode of travel. It was entirely inferior to apparition. He could not even vanish the floo powder off his robes and trousers. Not even bothering with the robes, the Malfoy pulled the black garment off, folding it so only the inside lining was facing outwards and laid it across a chair arm. He had just finished brushing of the dust that clung to him when his girlfriend (was it right to call her his girlfriend at this point? or at this age?) came into view.

A devilish smirk came over his handsome features in an instance and he caught her round the waist, greeting her with the sort of kiss that would have drawn wolf whistles if they had been at Bangor just then. "Hi there," he whispered, his face barely separated from hers. Barely steel blue eyes sparkled as they might her own brighter azure gaze.

@ i missed you • 671  • outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

world comes to an end

I'll be here to hold your hand

'Cause you're my king and I'm your lion-heart.

If someone would have suggested this to her even six months ago, Nell would have laughed. She hadn’t been looking for anything, she had been content by herself for a little while after everything that had happened last summer. But then she had gone to that presentation, and she had found what she hadn’t ever expected. Draco had been what she had never seen coming, because who would have thought? The Flamel and the Malfoy? On paper it didn’t work, but on paper, a lot of things didn’t work. And then someone came along that had the tenacity to say, why not?

They were there. They were pushing that boundary. Saying, why not? And she was happy. He made her happy, because there had been plenty of times when Nell had been content. She had been comfortable in a relationship, she had been at peace by herself. But with him there was a genuine happiness. And she liked that. They needed that, in the world that they were living in. It was messy, and it hadn’t gotten any easier with the epidemic that they had faced, and in a way, were still facing. But there had to be something that gave a little bit, in all of that. There had to be something good.

And for now, he was her something good. Nell knew that they couldn’t predict the future. She knew that she had no idea if one day she was going to wake up, and this wasn’t going to feel this way. But until that happened, she wasn’t going to worry about it. And maybe they’d get lucky. Maybe they’d found something that wasn’t going to wear off. It wasn’t impossible, Nell believed in that kind of… well… Love. What her grandparents had had had survived seven centuries, and she thought that she had never seen a day go by where Nicholas hadn’t looked at Perenelle like that. Was it too much to wish for that too?

For all she knew, maybe it was. But she was Perenelle Flamel too, and Nell didn’t really know if people knew what that meant. She didn’t know if Draco knew what that meant, but she hoped that the same kind of magic that had been bestowed in her grandmother, was passed down through her doppelgängers. She hoped that she could be as happy as her grandmother had been, even if she didn’t live nearly that long. Living forever was not what she wanted, but she had made the stone anyway. The same stone that her grandfather had made. The same stone that had been written about in the journals. And she had charmed it the way that Perenelle had written about in hers.

Nicholas was brilliant. Her grandfather had been the only known maker of the Philosopher’s Stone, for centuries. And now she had one too. And even if someone else had made one, it wouldn’t be like this. It wouldn’t have everything that her grandmother had added, when Nicholas wasn’t looking. Because there was only one set of Perenelle Flamel journals in the world. And they were locked in their case, in Nell’s study. Chronologically arranged, from the time that Perenelle married Nicholas, until the day she died. Nell had them all, 700 years’ worth of journals, from the woman that she resembled in every possible way.

Snapping the journal, she was reading closed at the sound of the Floo from the other room she put the journal back on the shelf and then carefully closed the glass over the top of it. A prick of her finger on the lock, and it sprang closed. Only a Perenelle could open that case. It was part of their magic, though no one was sure that they understood it. And she didn’t have anyone to ask. She was the only true doppelgänger she had ever heard of.

There was a smile on her face as she slipped out of the study and towards the fireplace in the foyer. She laughed when he caught her around the waist and kissed him back before she shook her head as he pulled away. There was a sparkle in his eye that she thought matched the laughter in her own, “Careful, I’m going to start expecting to always be greeted like that.”

@ lion-heart • 716 • perenelle's outfit - no coat or scarf

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

We're here to stay

we won't run, and we won't run

I'll be here to hold your hand

Draco might not have been the most affectionate man in public, but he did not shy away from it behind closed doors. Even out and about, he was the type to leave a hand lingering on the small of Perenelle's back, or slipping his hand into hers. He just wasn't likely to take it so far as a kiss. He had rules of propriety and decorum ingrained into him. Somethings about who he had been raised to be and who had chosen to be were more easily changed, because they were more easily noticed. He tried to live a life that was respectful of others. Hate did not fit into that life, but keeping public displays of affection under control certainly did.

But he had no reservations about indulging in a lingering kiss hello when the pair were alone at home. Be it his--or hers. He felt at ease at either. He felt at ease with her. His hands stayed around her waist, holding her to him as Perenelle offered him a saucy retort. A chuckled rumbled up from his chest, pushing the corners of his lips up from a smirk to a full on smile. "I fail to see the problem with that." And he didn't. In his mind, she deserved to be greeted that way--a passionate promise of desire and appreciation was less than what she deserved, truly. Draco thought very highly of the woman...obviously, for him to have gone from single to attached. He would not truly date a woman he did not respect and admire. There had been one night stands who were nothing more than pretty faces and eager bodies, but it wasn't her beauty that caught Draco's attention. Of course, he appreciated how gorgeous Nell was, but he was falling for her mind, her cleverness, and her personality instead of just enjoying her aesthetic. 

"How are you?" he asked, curious about her day and her well-being. His own had not been the best. He had seen his father---and that was always a complicated matter. He felt the need to talk about it, to explain a great deal about himself, his past, and his family, but he really was not sure how to launch into such a discussion. He trusted Perenelle, though. He trusted her with the truth about him.

Draco was not just waiting on his own turn to speak, however. He might have had heavy thoughts on his mind, but he was still able to offer his focus and attention to the woman in his arms. He knew what it took to be in a healthy relationship. That was why he had never been one to enter into one lightly. Being with someone was making them a priority. It was giving your time, your energy, your heart. But it was worth it. Love was worth it....not that he and Perenelle were so far along as to throw around that word, but there was something so special and genuine about what they shared. He might not have been in love with her yet, but he saw this going there. He certainly loved being with her. He loved her company--and was surely in lust with her. Chemistry between them sparked between their bodies, their minds, and their hearts. He felt like a very lucky man. 

@ i missed you • 550  • outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

WORLD COMES TO AN END

I'LL BE HERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND

'CAUSE YOU'RE MY KING AND I'M YOUR LION-HEART.

Who she was, it was a hard thing to explain… Because for the last seven hundred years there had been more than one version of her. For the last seven hundred years, there had been Perenelle’s. The original and one more. There had always been two, since the second one had been born, anyway. Nicholas and Perenelle’s great-granddaughter. She looked so much like her, their grandmother, and then as she had grown, the resemblance had turned into something more. She hadn’t been just bore a resemblance to the woman that she had honored with her name. She had been identical. A doppelgänger. And she was the twelfth one.

The only girl, years after her six older brothers, the mark on her shoulder told them who she was. Perenelle. The last Perenelle born when the Original had been alive. Nell had been fourteen when her grandparents had passed away, and she would never forget it. Nicholas had been the one that had been sent to pick her up from school. Her eldest brother had never looked for forlorn in her life. She had never seen that kind of sadness, and she had known. Somehow, on some level that she couldn’t explain, she had known what he was going to say.

And she had gotten to say goodbye. They were alive when she arrived. It was like they had waited for her. And Albus… Albus had had the stone destroyed. Perenelle had been livid with him, for months. She had hated him with every fiber of her being. And then, before she went back to Beauxbatons, Nicholas found her in her room, and he had given her the case. There had been one for him, and one for her. He had been the last Nicholas Flamel to meet The Nicholas Flamel. And she would never forget what he had said to her that day.

“Tu es Perenelle maintenant.”

If only Perenelle could see her now…

Leaving her arms draped over Draco’s shoulders she smiled up at him when he chuckled. She liked that chuckle. It came from deep in his chest. It made her feel like she had accomplished something every time that she saw him smile. Like maybe they could fight this world together. That if they could just prove that they could be happy, despite all of it, things could really start to change. “Good.” She stood on her tiptoes and pecked her lips against his cheek before she settled back onto her flat feet in front of him.

Without pulling away she shrugged, “I’m alright. It’s been a quiet day. Breakfast with Vic, and then I spent most of the afternoon, after classes, in the study. Working on lessons and pouring over my journals.” She had told him about the journals. Her journals. Perenelle’s journals. He couldn’t get in the case, but that didn’t stop her from taking them out and letting him see them. They were brilliant, and she couldn’t imagine not having them. They were so very important to her. They had led her to what she had created in the other room. The stone was done, and she wanted him to see that too. She wanted him to know her secret.

That was the ultimate act of trust. At least to her. And she thought that he would see that. That she was going to trust him enough to let him in her laboratory. To see what she had made. And to keep her secret. Because the last thing that she wanted was someone to find out that she had it. To try and take it from her. Or to try and use it for something horrible. She had to keep it safe. And the best way to do that was to tell no one. But trusting him… Trusting him meant she wanted to show him. He deserved that. "What about you? Tuesday... You were at the castle most of the day?"

@ i always miss you • 656 • perenelle's outfit no coat or scarf

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

We're here to stay

we won't run, and we won't run

I'll be here to hold your hand

Draco still marveled at every moment he was able to spend with Nell. She was such an incredible woman. Her mind drew him in as much, if not more than her body did (and that was not to say he wasn't incredibly attracted to her: he most certainly was). But she was so much more than just gorgeous curves and striking eyes. She was curious and knowledgeable. She was as interested in and likely even more talented with alchemy than he was. He had no problem acknowledging that. Being with her was not a competition of who could be better or know more--it was a partnership to grow the knowledge and understanding of both...in regards to each other, alchemy, magic, the very world. There was always going to be something more that they could learn together if they just sought the knowledge (and with fantastic shag breaks in between the learning all along the way). That sounded to Draco like a life well lived. 

He smiled against her lips when she rolled up to kiss him again. Endorphins washed over him to have her in his arms.  His brain and his body had  a very real and tangible reaction to the woman. She literally made him happy--to see her, to feel her. It brought serotonin washing over him. The manifestation could be seen in goose bumps on his skin and in the swelling of his irises. Black pushed back the pale blue as he looked down at her. He was a man smitten. 

"Sounds nice. Were you looking for something in particular?" He asked, in reference to her looking through the journals. Draco was fascinated by them. They truly were incredible manuscripts. It always felt like a true privilege anytime he was given the opportunity to read one. It had felt monumental to him the first time that she had shown him the missives. Even knowing of their existence felt like a gift. It warmed his heart and meant so much to the man that Perenelle would share them with him. Draco trusted her and he could see that the trust was reciprocated. That meant so much. It gave the promise that there could be a future between them: something real and lasting.

He nodded at her assessment of his own day. "Mostly, yeah I was. I held some office hours and graded the quiz I gave to this morning's class. I had an afternoon lecture over on campus, but it was a short one." Draco was not always so prompt in marking assignments, but he had felt it was necessary to know what to cover in the class on Thursday. Most had done well enough, he was comfortable moving on--and the few who had failed the exam, he had already sent owls with some additional assigned reading to help them catch up. It seemed that a couple students had just missed a few crucial points in his initial lectures...and honestly, Dolohov had just failed to teach certain topics that by Draco's opinion should have already been well covered by this point in the term. That was neither here nor there, though. He would make up for it, the class would just have to go a bit faster than it might usually...and that included his marking assignments.

He tightened his grip on her momentarily giving the woman a bit of a hug before he let the embrace fall away. His hand still found hers, though. He wanted contact with her when he said his next words: "Are you busy? I actually sort of wanted to talk. I had a surprise visitor at the castle today...My father came." He led them over to a sofa, where the pair could sit closely, but still be able to face one another. As he sat, he rubbed his hand over his face. Where did he even start when it came to Lucius? Perenelle knew that the pair were not close, but she did not know the full history that existed between them. 

@ i missed you • 670  • outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

WORLD COMES TO AN END

I'LL BE HERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND

'CAUSE YOU'RE MY KING AND I'M YOUR LION-HEART.

The woman that she had become was someone that she was proud to be. Nell didn’t think that there was any reason that she shouldn’t be proud to be Perenelle Flamel. It was a burden, at times, but it was one that she willingly picked up again every day. It was one that she wouldn’t part with for anything. The twelfth Perenelle doppelgänger. The thirteenth Perenelle. She knew that that meant something, and she knew that it was something that they were going to always have to live with. She and Nicholas. It was something that they couldn’t change. That they had been the last ones to know them. But even Nicholas didn’t have the same legacy that she did to uphold.

She was a Flamel. And she knew what it was that she had done. She had created a new stone. It was finished. And she had done it… Differently. She had had help, and then she had had the help obliviated. She had had the elves help her, and she knew that that wasn’t exactly the classiest way to do things, but she had needed the help, and she couldn’t complete the final step herself. She had needed someone to cast that final spell, and now it was done, and she had finished it. It worked….

That was, perhaps, the thing that she was most proud of. People could create them, but that didn’t mean that they were going to work, and hers did. It worked. It worked because she had tried it. There were things that had once been silver, that were now gold. And while she did not intend on asking it for eternal life, she was sure that that would work as well. She had given herself a ticket to immortality. If she wanted it. That was a secret that she didn’t think that she could share with just anyone. But she could share it with him. She wanted to share it with him.

“Not really.” She didn’t think that she had to be, and she knew that he didn’t think that either. It was just simple curiosity. “Just taking it all in, like always.” Her alchemical studies would never end, Nell thought that they would find her on her death bed, someday decades, or even centuries, from now, with an alchemy journal in her hand. If she had to choose her own way to go out, she hoped that it was like that, and not fighting in some unforeseen war. She had done that, she didn’t want to go back to fighting, ever, if they could help it. And this relationship gave her hope for that.

A Malfoy and a Flamel.

Nell smiled when he affirmed that he had been at the castle most of the day. She was always glad to remember things like that. She wanted to know him. To really know him, and that meant even the little things. She wanted to know if he had something weighing on his mind. She wanted to know if he was going to need this or that in the mornings. There was trust between them, and that gave them strength. Something that they had to have, to build anything more than they had now. “Full of important things though, I’m sure.” Her smile was warm, and bright, but Nell got the feeling that there was something weighing on him. Something he hadn’t told her yet.

When he hugged her and took her hand, she shook her head gently. “Not busy at all.” When he led her to the sofa, she pulled one leg up in front of her, and let the other one remain to the floor. Turning to face him she was open, calm. His father was a sore subject, and she knew that. Reaching out, Nell put her hand on Draco’s knee. The contact seemed important. A reminder that she was here, and that she was ready to listen. Whatever it was that he was ready to share, he had her full attention. Without knowing anything more than the little she already did, Nell didn’t know what to say, but she felt like she had to say something. “Whatever it is, whatever he did… I’m listening.”

@ let me carry some of that burden • 704 • perenelle's outfit - no coat or scarf

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

We're here to stay

we won't run, and we won't run

I'll be here to hold your hand

How did he even start to explain the situation with his father to this woman? Her family was incredible. The little things he knew of them, the comments she made, it all spoke to the differences in how they were raised. His father had been his idol for a time. He had lived to earn the man's approval and praise. That had been his childhood. Any problem he faced was one that he thought Lucius could solve.

Until he came face to face with the reality of just how worthless and powerless that man really had been. Lucius had not been able to solve the problems that really needed solving. He could throw money at things. But that was not enough. That had not been anywhere close to enough. Not when Voldemort came back. Not when Death Eaters invaded their home.

Lucius had failed--and now the man still had the nerve to show himself around Draco, to scold him, as if Lucius was some paragon of what a man was supposed to be. He had failed to protect his child. He had failed to protect his wife. He had failed to protect his home. Nothing mattered beyond those three truths. All the things Lucius managed to do right, all his smarts, it didn't matter. It would never matter to Draco, because the things that the wizard had failed at were the most important. Protecting home and family was the primary duty of father and husband. Period.

But how did he break that down into small bits of information? How did someone convey enough of the truth for it to make sense without going too far? Many of the secrets he carried were his mother's to share, not his. He hung his head a little bit as he tried to find a place to begin. "I don't know even why he decided to show up today. I am sure there was some point to it." Draco did not know what it was though; there was no reason, in his mind, for his father to be at Hogwarts. He was not on the Board of Governors anymore. Perhaps he was trying to be. Lucius was always reaching for power.

"Just seeing him... It fucks with my head, Nell. He is such a piece of shit, and he pretends like he is the best thing to ever happen to this bloody country. I just get so angry when I'm around him. It's dangerous. He and my uncle already think I'm a blood traitor. I never know what he is going to ask me to do or tell me I have to do. I never wanted to be a Death Eater. I am not like them. I never have been." The words fell off his lips, random and tangential. Most of the people he could call friends like Kate had been around for so long that they knew...she knew it all. He didn't have to say or explain, because she understood. The only person he had every really tried to talk to about it all had been Honora...that had been years ago now, and it had been just as difficult then. Maybe not quite so much since the Death Eaters were not in power and he didn't have the same fears back then.

He huffed, lacing his fingers with Nell's. "I've never killed anyone. I am probably the only person with this bloody mark that can say that and it be true. I was supposed to. That was the first task Voldemort gave me. Seventeen years old, freshly marked because of my father's mistakes in the Department of Mysteries. Lucius was in prison and I was supposed to kill Dumbledore. It was a suicide mission. Punishment for him dolled out on me. That's how it always is--someone else is always paying for his mistakes." There was anger and pain in his voice. Hints of loss wove into the timber, too, for all that had been lost.

@ i missed you • 662  • outfit

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

WORLD COMES TO AN END

I'LL BE HERE TO HOLD YOUR HAND

'CAUSE YOU'RE MY KING AND I'M YOUR LION-HEART.

Just looking at him, Nell could see that there was something wrong. She could see it in the way that he had deflated in front of her. He had seen something horrible today. And the mention of his father had been enough. She didn’t have to know all of the details of their lives to know that Draco Malfoy did not care for his father. And it was a relationship that she struggled to understand. It was one that she could only see from the outside. But it was his to tell. It was his life that she was trying to understand. And that was a very personal thing.

It was all so real, and so intense, and she knew that he didn’t have to try and explain it to her. She knew that he didn’t have to try and deal with all of those emotions, all of that pain, and everything that his father brought up in him. But if he wanted to. If he wanted to get it out, to talk about it, to think about everything that it caused him, she would listen. Nell would listen, and she would absorb it, and if she could help him, if she could make it easier on him to just make it through today even, she would try.

Seeing him come in like that, hearing him speak, she didn’t matter anymore. Right now, in this minute, how good or bad her day had been didn’t matter. He got the floor; he got the space. If he needed to talk about it, they would talk about it. If he needed to scream, they could go outside and scream to the heavens. They could just walk in silence. Or sit in front of the fire. They could do whatever he needed to try and breathe again. Perenelle knew better than to interrupt him when he started to speak.

He was talking to her, yes. Explaining things that she knew had to be so hard for him to say, and she wasn’t going to interrupt that. Not to say anything. Not good, or bad. Nothing comforting, or helpful. She was going to let him get it out. She was going to let him speak, and then she would respond. She would tell him that she saw how good he was. How brave. How smart. That if he was the kind of man that they considered a blood traitor, then they were the ones in the wrong.

The fear in his voice cut straight to her heart. She cared about him, Merlin and Morgana she cared about him. And to see this. To see this pain that he had stored away inside of him, it made her want to go back on what she had just thought. It made her want to fight that war. But a personal one. One waged solely against the man that made him feel like this. Perenelle could not definingly say that she had never killed. She had fought that war, to win. She had fought to kill. And she knew that there was more than a good chance that she had.

But she knew that that wasn’t what he needed to hear right now. She knew that that wasn’t the support that she should give. Her thumb grazed over the back of his hand as he twinned her fingers through hers. She didn’t know what to say, or what advice to give him. She didn’t really know what to do except try and take in the information that she was being given.

Saying that she was sorry felt wrong. But she was. She hadn’t known that they had tried to use him on a suicide mission. She hadn’t known that he had been punished for his father’s mistakes. Killing Albus Dumbledore was a feat that no one could have pulled off at seventeen years old. That she believed with all of her heart. “Draco…” She squeezed his hand gently in her own. “I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you manage to hold all of this inside of you, and still be the phenomenal man that you are.” Maybe she was going to say all the wrong things. But she wanted him to know that. That he was phenomenal. “You don’t have to pay for them anymore. You don’t owe him anything.”

Nell’s free hand came to rest on his cheek and she met his eyes. “You have built a life that is so full of purpose, and goodness.” She shook her head gently. “That mark on your arm does not define you. Not in my eyes. Not in the eyes of so many others.” Words were just words unless there were actions behind them, but Nell didn’t know how to put her words into actions. How to show him she wanted to help… “Can I help you? Is there something we can do, to ease the weight of this?” This was uncharted territory for her, she didn’t know what would help, she didn’t know if there was any way to do anything at all. But she wanted to. She wanted to so badly. “I want you to know, that I don’t believe you were ever like them. That I believe in the man I see. The good, honest, generous, kind man, that’s sitting right in front of me. In my eyes, you are so much more than they could have ever dreamed to be.”

@ so much to carry • 911 • perenelle's outfit - no coat or scarf

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0