Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2019 20:17:45 GMT -5
I'm just a fool
For holding on to something that
Is never ever gonna come back
I can't accept that it's lost
For holding on to something that
I can't accept that it's lost
It was hard to accept the fact that there were just some things that she could not change. Not about life or anything, but more specifically her, her life. She didn’t want to be like this. She didn’t want this bullshit, this drama. She wanted to be free of the pain that her life had been, but most of the stupid boys that she tended to let into her heart. She didn’t need that, she didn’t want that anymore. She wanted to be happy, to find her family and even if they didn’t want her. cause they probably didn’t, she wanted to find them, to know them and know the people that they came from. She wanted all of this. She wanted to know that the people that she loved more than anything else in this life, was going to be there for her. Amanda wanted to wake and not question everything that she knew and loved. It was more than she probably deserved, and more than she would ever have, but she wanted it just the same.
She had gotten an internship with the hospital in Ireland, and she had a very hard time saying the name with her thick accent but she tried. She was debating on going to the hospital herself and getting her birth certificate, but she wasn’t sure they would even give it to her. Would they even let her have it? She ran a hand into her long hair and was humming to herself as she walked through the school towards the Deputy Headmistress’ office. She was getting ready to head out, but she had finished her TA duties first and was going to ask the elder woman’s opinion. She liked the Blackwood professors. They were rather interesting and she was always curious about them. They were both rather lovely, and it brought a smile to her face to see that kind of love. After everything with Kit and then Brandon, she had kind of... stopped caring. She was young and pushing herself over and over into somehing that wasn't going to work had been... toxic. She had loved him, and on some kind of level, she always would. It was intense and insane and would pull the breath from her at any given moment, but she didn't miss the pain.
It was why she had sought the internship. Something else other than Classes and studying to keep her busy. To keep her sane. She had a goal now. She knew what she wanted to try and do with her life and she was taking steps to get there, but the first part in reclaiming herself was finding out who she was. The door was open but she stopped and knocked on the door. "Professor Blackwood?"
She had gotten an internship with the hospital in Ireland, and she had a very hard time saying the name with her thick accent but she tried. She was debating on going to the hospital herself and getting her birth certificate, but she wasn’t sure they would even give it to her. Would they even let her have it? She ran a hand into her long hair and was humming to herself as she walked through the school towards the Deputy Headmistress’ office. She was getting ready to head out, but she had finished her TA duties first and was going to ask the elder woman’s opinion. She liked the Blackwood professors. They were rather interesting and she was always curious about them. They were both rather lovely, and it brought a smile to her face to see that kind of love. After everything with Kit and then Brandon, she had kind of... stopped caring. She was young and pushing herself over and over into somehing that wasn't going to work had been... toxic. She had loved him, and on some kind of level, she always would. It was intense and insane and would pull the breath from her at any given moment, but she didn't miss the pain.
It was why she had sought the internship. Something else other than Classes and studying to keep her busy. To keep her sane. She had a goal now. She knew what she wanted to try and do with her life and she was taking steps to get there, but the first part in reclaiming herself was finding out who she was. The door was open but she stopped and knocked on the door. "Professor Blackwood?"
tag: Amaryllis Avery Blackwood // words: 452 // OUTFIT
