Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2019 18:41:37 GMT -5
there's more to life than the sun and the sea
suppose it all starts with a little you and me
Shoes, she needed shoes, in the worst way. She had nothing that worked for this and the one pair that she liked to wear for her internship had broken that morning so she had been forced to wear flats instead and she looked a mess. She didn't need to look perfect, even if her personal standards made her want to look that way, at least. Her sassy attitude had gotten her into quite a lot of trouble over the years, but this was something that meant something to her, she had reasons for wanting to do each and everything that she was doing now. She had a reason, she had purpose and though she did miss being the wild little shit that she had been for so long, she knew that it would only continue to bring her heartache.
She still had her days where she was wild and brilliantly a pain in the ass of her professors, but for the most part she had reigned herself in since the night she had told Kit about their kid. About the thing that might have been, but he had moved on with Imogen. He had chosen another and though she wished that she could be angry, she really couldn't. He had done what he thought was best for him, and someone more stable, someone who had a head on their shoulders and knew what they wanted was what he had picked. Looking back, she didn't blame him, really. Mind you, this did not mean that it did not hurt, it really did. It hurt that He seemed to be saying that he did not love her and for a while, it had hurt her. It had hurt her but she was better now. She really was. She had gotten help, the help that she had needed and was finding the things that were haunting her.
Like her family. She knew their names and their jobs. Being an intern now meant that she would be able to find them, find her family, and maybe she might be able to find home. Find where she belonged if she belonged with them. She had a lot that she had to learn about herself now, but that didn't mean that she would find a home. She had rented a place of her own, with money that her adopted parents had given her. She was still not ready to fully forgive them but she was letting them back into her life and trying to not hold a grudge. Of course, it wasn't going to be all forgive and forget, there would be a great deal that had to be fixed, but she was trying to try. Attempts were being made on all sides to fix whatever had broken, but she knew that the fault would always, somehow be hers. She just wanted a place to belong, she just wanted somewhere she fit. What the fucked up part was, was that she wasn't even sure she deserved it after everything that she had done, but it was just another complex to hide and another reason that she had to work through all this. She had stopped drinking, she had stopped being an idiot, she had cut off Kit, the only thing that she had left was the way that she felt about herself. And that was a work in progress.
Pulling herself from her thoughts she saw Kyler and could not help but smile as she waved to him, growing closer. "Hello, stranger."
She still had her days where she was wild and brilliantly a pain in the ass of her professors, but for the most part she had reigned herself in since the night she had told Kit about their kid. About the thing that might have been, but he had moved on with Imogen. He had chosen another and though she wished that she could be angry, she really couldn't. He had done what he thought was best for him, and someone more stable, someone who had a head on their shoulders and knew what they wanted was what he had picked. Looking back, she didn't blame him, really. Mind you, this did not mean that it did not hurt, it really did. It hurt that He seemed to be saying that he did not love her and for a while, it had hurt her. It had hurt her but she was better now. She really was. She had gotten help, the help that she had needed and was finding the things that were haunting her.
Like her family. She knew their names and their jobs. Being an intern now meant that she would be able to find them, find her family, and maybe she might be able to find home. Find where she belonged if she belonged with them. She had a lot that she had to learn about herself now, but that didn't mean that she would find a home. She had rented a place of her own, with money that her adopted parents had given her. She was still not ready to fully forgive them but she was letting them back into her life and trying to not hold a grudge. Of course, it wasn't going to be all forgive and forget, there would be a great deal that had to be fixed, but she was trying to try. Attempts were being made on all sides to fix whatever had broken, but she knew that the fault would always, somehow be hers. She just wanted a place to belong, she just wanted somewhere she fit. What the fucked up part was, was that she wasn't even sure she deserved it after everything that she had done, but it was just another complex to hide and another reason that she had to work through all this. She had stopped drinking, she had stopped being an idiot, she had cut off Kit, the only thing that she had left was the way that she felt about herself. And that was a work in progress.
Pulling herself from her thoughts she saw Kyler and could not help but smile as she waved to him, growing closer. "Hello, stranger."
tag: @kyler // words: 587 // OUTFIT
