Date: January 7th,  2016
Location: Diagon Studios, Flat #3A

When he had walked into his shop this morning, he hadn’t seen himself walking out with his long time friend accompanying home. But he was glad that she had stopped by even if that had been to complete a task for the almighty minister durant, a man that Donovan despised to the enth degree but the feelings he had for Ellya were very different, he didn’t fancy her though he did care for her deeply. He also had a high regard for her and what she meant to him. Ellya was his breath of fresh air, someone he could rely on, though they hadn’t been in contact for many years, perhaps, just perhaps by some miracle they could become friends again.

Donovan looked at @ellya as they walked the corridor towards his flat and offered her a small smile. He wasn’t sure what was going through her head but he assumed it was something similar to his train of thought, and wondering just what was going on here. Really Donovan wasn’t sure if having dinner tonight at his place was a good idea, he didn’t Ellya to lose her job if anyone caught her speaking with him. He would never forgive himself if that happened. He knew just how hard she worked and just how much she risked by coming to his shop and even know by them being together. He just wanted his old friend back and part of his brain reminded him that may not be the easiest task to accomplish.

“Here we are” he told her happily as he unlocked his door and opened it for her to enter before him. Donovan followed her in and shut the door behind him. He took his jacket off and set it on the chair that sat in the living room. “Take a seat, did you want anything to drink? I’ve got wine, sparkling water, apple juice” he asked and listed out the options for her.


Outfit - because why not?
Song

The whole way to Donovan's house, Ellya was debating wether or not to just apparate away to her own apartment. It would certainly save her from a lot of puzzlement and introspection, a lot of necessary pain and self-hatred. Because yes, she did resent herself. For many reasons, one of which was that she had never been brave enough to stand up to her father to be her own person. Another was hurting Don, who had only ever been her friend, and then now letting him worm himself back into her life.

Letting him in would only bring her trouble, she knew that. He was Dimitte, being seen with him would get her fired. He was stubborn and he would want to be her friend again. He would want to help her be her own person. But she was fine now. Well... not necessarily fine, she just was. Which was better than not being as a result of losing her definition of herself.

Yet she missed the easy friendship they'd had back in Hogwarts. Maybe that was why, in a weak moment, she'd allowed herself to be roped in again. Maybe that was why she was running such a big risk. Nostalgia and a curiosity towards what she would find out about herself if she went beyond... well, beyond what she had been told she thought by her father. 

When they passed her apartment door, she stubbornly kept her eyes away from it. A single glance and the will to follow him would vanish. A single glance and Donovan's door would close forever. She didn't understand why the thought hurt her so much. Sure, they'd been friends, and that last year she might have felt a bit more for him, but that was nine years ago. Nostalgia, yes, that was the reason.

Then he smiled at her, right before entering his apartment, and she couldn't find the strength to return it. All the smiles she used were towards people at work, to look welcoming and polite. She hadn't genuinely smiled in a long time, and she felt that any smile she directed at him now would be fake. Ellya was reluctant to lie to him like that, so she just looked to the ground instead of attempting to return the grin. 

Ellya stepped inside in silence.

"Wine, thank you." She told him as she sat down in an armchair. As bad an idea as drinking on a night before work, being in that situation without alcohol was worse. After a second's pause she also slipped off her coat and wrapped it around the back of her chair, folding her scarf over it.

---

That's their song!!

But with a pantyhose

Donovan was appreciative of the fact that Ellya had decided to join him for dinner tonight. He wasn’t entirely sure if she was doing solely in response for the charm he had put on her shoes when she had complained her feet were hurting because of it or because she actually wanted to have dinner with him. A large part of his mind was telling him it was the first scenario, and it made him feel terrible. As if somehow he had forced her to join him this evening just by making sure she was comfortable. Was he a bad friend for that? Were they even friends now or something less? The more he thought about everything, the more pathetic he felt, though he kept up his pleasant expression, it was what he was feeling on the inside. Donovan may exhibit more confidence than the typical Hufflepuff but there were still some occasions where he questioned himself or his actions and this was one of those times.

He wasn’t entirely sure what would have by way of conversation with he and the witch but he hoped the conversation would flow smoothly. He was going to make sure to avoid ‘taboo’ subjects such as Dimitte and her work for the minister. Her figured with the latte topic her coming by the shop for the broom servicing kit was the most time they had focus on where she worked. He didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, though he could see he was already doing that just by looking at her. Donovan wondered if he should make it clear that she was free to leave at any time, she wasn’t obliged to stay, he was content in eating dinner on his own, reading, then going to bed. It was his nightly pattern and it was well practiced. But he feared that if he put forward that offer than he may never see Ellya again and that he couldn’t risk. He may be selfish but was it so wrong for him to want to see her and spend time with again away from either of their workplaces?

Seeing how she reacted to his genuine smile, he frowned internally and realised this going to be hard. He half considered making a comment about her finding his floor more interesting than him but he held off. Donovan watched as she took off her coat and scarf and placed them on the back of her chair. He smiled at her one more time as he went into his kitchen and pulled out wine glasses from one of the cupboards and then the white wine out of the fridge. He poured a glass for each of them and carried them back into the living room and handed one to her. “I hope you like white wine” He wasn’t sure what alcohol Ellya liked since he hadn’t seen her in a number of years. He took in her appearance and outfit, she was beautiful really. “So what did you do for Christmas and New Years?” he asked curiously, figuring it was a safe topic.

Ellya took the offered drink and took a gulp, figuring any alcohol was better than no alcohol. She preferred something stronger, fire whiskey or red wine if there was none. But this would do. It wasn't that she disliked it, but she never drank for pleasure so stronger drinks got her sloshed more quickly. She wasn't here to get drunk, though, no. The last thing she wanted was to be so much more vulnerable in front of his disarming.... niceness. Gosh, how pitiful and lonely had she become that even a pleading look from an old friend had her caving?

It made a small spark of resentment grow in her stomach. Not towards Donovan, no, he'd always been that way. Resentment towards everyone that had made her how she was, that made her feel the need to dismiss herself and her needs for common human intimacy. The people responsible were her father and her. Yes, if she hadn't been so cowardly as to let herself be kept under his thumb her whole life then... then she would be a different person. A stronger person.

"Ah, the holidays. I don't have any family any more... and you know I don't easily make friends, I suppose. Didn't spend it with loved ones." She shrugged as looked at him cryptically, gauging his reaction. Really, now that she thought about it, why was he bothering with her? Most people wouldn't, not after how she'd hurt him. "Everyone drops off their paperwork last minute at the office, they all want to have time off. If I don't get it done I'm swamped first thing in the new year. I worked through that during the day and went to Opium at night."

Donovan felt he did his best to hide his surprise as saw just how big of a gulp Ellya took from her glass. The wizard looked down at his shoes to group his thoughts together, though it failed on him because they were everywhere. “Am I right in assuming you don’t like white wine? I’m sorry I’m all out of Firewhiskey or anything of a similar strength” he apologised with a sheepish smile. He was beginning to feel more and more stupid because he was here in his flat with one of his oldest friends and the best he had to talk about was alcohol. Though, on second thoughts there worse things to talk about he realised given their history. One which had been fine until she had pushed him away and he still didn’t know why, but Merlin did he want to know.

He could still recall how they had first started speaking they were on the way to History of Magic a few days into their first year and they ended up getting lost together and arrived just in time for class to start. It was one of Donovan’s fondest memories. Sometimes he would wish they could go back and relive those days when everything was simpler, when her father had started pushing in Ellya into following his way of thinking and when they had stopped being friends and she shut him out. It may be odd that he wasn’t bothered by it but he was so happy to see the witch again that right now and he wasn’t allow himself to feel resentment. Though Donovan did have the within him, it was bound to surface at some point depending how their conversation progressed.

Donovan set his wineglass down on the table having not even sipped on the contents yet and he walked over to Ellya and he crouched down in front of her, but still left enough space between them so she would feel comfortable. He wasn’t even sure what compelled him to do that but he was there now, on his floor in front of where she sat. “Your father died….I’m sorry I had no idea” he apologised, though it didn’t make complete sense because there was no way for him to know if they hadn’t seen each other in a while nor had they kept in contact. He wasn’t even sure what expression he was wearing now, one or either annoyance at his own stupidity or one of regret for not being the one to contact her instead of it being the other way around. If Donovan had to guess, he would say the second one would definitely win. He got to his feet and picked up his glass and took two quick sips. “I’m sorry you got stuck with all that work. Did you at least have fun at Opium that night?” he asked curiously.

Ellya shrugged. "Like and dislike is a matter of perspective. I don't usually drink for pleasure, thus fire whiskey is what I usually drink, it's more effective. I never drink white wine but I suppose it doesn't taste bad, so I guess I like it."

Merlin, even expressing mild opinions such as this made her uncomfortable. What also made her uncomfortable... maybe not uncomfortable but definitely taken aback, was the position he took next. It was a very... vulnerable position. Very open, its purpose that of bringing to people slightly closer when discussing a sensitive subject. Kind of like the position she used to take to talk to her father when she visited in St Mungo's. Every summer she sat there, on her knees looking up at her as he preached at her, speech garbled and muddled because of his deteriorating illness.

"He died the year after I- we left Hogwarts." She shrugged, suddenly feeling guilty after all the time that had passed. Would he be angry that she hadn't contacted him? Her father had died a while ago, her father was the one that had told her not to see him, but his influence over her didn't vanish when he did. Surely Donovan understood that?

Ellya looked away from him in shame for a few seconds. There was no way she would have contacted him, but seeing his attempts to reconstruct their friendship made her think that she may have prolonged the hurt more than was necessary. But she was obeying her father, in her eyes there was no other choice, as much as she might sometimes... not resent it, but the feeling was close. It was a feeling of discomfort mixed with grief.

His reaction was what could be expected. He was sorry for her loss, even if he'd very clearly hated the man. He was regretful of asking. He was miffed at not knowing, which reminded him of how cut off from her he'd been. She could see it painted clearly on his face.

"Oh, it's been that way for years now. Ever since I got the job. I'm used to it." She shrugged. At his next question she looked back at him, blushing slightly at the memory. Oh, the bloke at the end had been fun, though afterwards it'd left her with a feeling of emptiness. Because that was the only form of intimacy in her life; casual one time sex with strangers. "Yes, well, it was alright, I suppose. Not an uncommon thing, spending new years and Christmas at a club, nowadays."

Donovan looked at Ellya as she responded, it wasn’t like her normal stoic expression she had been wearing. Granted, alcohol preference wasn’t a strong topic of conversation for him, it was something he knew he could discuss with her. Donovan miss what witch was not so subtly getting to by saying that she didn’t drink for pleasure. That statement didn’t sit well with the wizard because he hated knowing she had to resort to alcohol to forget her problems or as a way of pacifying the pain or whatever reason she drank. “Understood, isn’t a regular consumer of white wine but favours Firewhiskey” he nodded with a brief smile as he committed those details to his memory for next time. If that next time ever did eventuate. Merlin he wished it did, but that would all depend on how dinner went and of course on Ellya herself.

Sure he was on the floor next to her, it was probably the closest he’d get to Ellya with the exception when he had stood next to her in his shop asked her to open a little to him. He wasn’t trying to weasel his way back into her life. He just wanted….wait, what did he want? to admit that one point in time he had feelings that went beyond friendship for her? No, he wasnt’ there again, Donovan wanted to be there and to tell the witch he didn’t hate her. He did have very concrete reasons for hating her but Donovan always saw the good in someone. Some in particular like Ellya even if she had treated him like a worthless piece of Quidditch memorabilia at one point in their history. Sure there were some people he truly detested but Ellya would be one of those. She was too special to him and he wasn’t even tricking himself feeling this way, it was simply how he felt.

He nodded as she told him that her father had died the year after they had finished school. “You know I never liked your father much but I’m still sorry Ellya” he told her. This meant that she was now alone, she didn’t have a boyfriend, Fiance or husband from he could tell by glancing for a second at her hand, there was no ring there. She had been alone for this long and it pained Donovan. Had he known about her father passing away sooner he would been there for her. He wasn't’ sure in what capacity but he would have been there.

When she looked away he instantly felt terrible for being this close to her, he knew he had been out of order to even ask her to join him for dinner but he wasn’t going to be satisfied with twenty minutes or whatever she was going to spend in his shop on an errand from work. Was Donovan starting to feel like a pathetic friend? of course he was Should he have contacted her soon out of his will? Definitely. What was he going to do about it now? Well he had no bloody clue.

“Even still, it was the holidays, no one should be offloading work onto you like that. I know you’re dedicated to your job and I applaud you for that darling, but everyone deserves a break, at least one day” he told her as he took another sip. Donovan’s eyebrows rose up as he saw the blush that graced his friend’s features. “Just alright? Something in that blush of yours tells me it was a thousand times better than alright Ellya, well at least you weren’t alone….” he deducted with a sly smile. The pang of jealously was threatening to come out at that moment but he pushed it away very quickly. He had no intention of dealing that tonight, or ever if he could help it. “Feel like joining me in the kitchen while I prepared dinner? I can bore you with my superior knowledge on the charms in a beater’s bat” he laughed as he looked at her for a response before making his way to get dinner ready

Ellya glared at his retreating back without any real malice. "Not a thousand." She muttered.

Then she got up and followed him, drink in hand and taking the bottle with her for good measure. As she walked her eyes roamed over the apartment, already knowing the layout as it was directly above hers. The insides were very different, though, because they were very different people. Besides, Ellya barely ever spent any time at home other than sleeping or sitting at her table with a pile of work. There were no personal touches in her apartment. If she were to suddenly disappear, no one would know what kind of person she was, other than... non-personal.

"You know I never cared much for Quidditch... then again, I wasn't allowed to." She said as she arrived, though there was no bitterness in her voice, just wistfulness. "I'd be more interested in what you've been up to, but feel free to explain the intricacies of the game, if you wish."

Her tone was slightly closer to the joking tone she'd had when they were young, if not completely there. Things would never go back to how they were, she wasn't stupid enough to think they would. She didn't even know if she wanted things to be the same. That would mean that all the changes she'd gone through since then were worthless. Nothing would change the fact that she hurt him maybe too badly to forgive -Merlin knew he shouldn't forgive her- and that she'd been so alone for so long she'd forgotten how to be... the Ellya he thought she was. Every day she was alone with her own thoughts and now that she was confronted with a figure of her past -someone who'd known her for real- she noticed how she just was. She didn't live, she didn't have a private life, no friends, no family, no real personality... not a personality which she was completely sure was her own, at least. Nothing she was was her own, and the knowledge made her ashamed.

Looking over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen, he couldn’t help but snigger at her muttered response. “I take it the bloke wasn’t that good huh?” he asked with a chuckle, he didn’t expect a response nor did he really want one anyway. It wouldn’t sit well and it would definitely clash with the jealousy that still stirred within him no matter how much he wanted to toss it out the window. Donovan had only suspected she had spent the night with some bloke because it was the exact expression Charlotte had once worn, but that had been after their night together. Though of course nothing had come from that between them, except for a whole lot flirting that followed.

“I remember that very clearly, I think when I told you I was made captain that you would lose me as a friend and did you? You also told I’d gain a lot of groupies, but didn’t happen either” he laughed before he started pulling thing out his kitchen cupboards which were navy blue in colour and placing them on his grey coloured counters. When he had first moved in here he changed the colours of the kitchen cabinetry numerous times before he finally decided on the current colour scheme, it had been this way for many ways and it worked for him which was good because did enjoy cooking, even if he just prepared meals for himself.

“As for the charms...let’s see” he trailed off as he went to take the chicken out of the fridge before he started to cut it up on the chopping board. “Well there’s a momentum dispersion charm so when a beater hits the bludger the force isn’t ricocheted through their arm, therefore reducing injury” he said before he looked at her to gauge just how bored she was at this point. “There’s also a charm that stops the bat from freezing over” he explained before he went back to getting dinner ready.

Donovan continued preparing dinner and moved to answer her next query. “As for what’s going on with me, nothing much, I go to work, I come home I cook muchl like you are seeing now, I see Elisa and have dinner with my parents once a week if I can” he shrugged. His life wasn’t exactly exciting and he was fine with that, well at least he kept telling himself that.

Instead of acknowledging his comment about her... company on New Years, Ellya took another drink and refilled her glass. He'd been... festive, but nothing had stirred inside her. She didn't mean affection, or anything as sappy and naive as that, but there had been absolutely nothing. No desire to know anything about him or to ever see him again in her life, even in passing. It had left her reeling for a while, stunned at her own lack of human connection. Then again, she doubted he thought any different.

"Not that you would have noticed." She snarked. "But yes, you did have groupies. None of them plucked up the courage to ask you out and you tended to not notice things until they hit you in the face."

She didn't know how much he'd improved on that, but she assumed he had. People change, people mature. She didn't think she would have been able to get through that first half year of his captaincy without secretly hexing someone if he had noticed them.

Ellya listened silently to his explanation on beater bats. They were pretty reasonable charms, useful, delicate. She didn't really care either way, but she stored up the information anyway. The reason as to why she did that wasn't really clear, though she refused to acknowledge the small voice telling her that it was because he cared. Because he sounded enthusiastic when he spoke of it. Why that was a factor in her reasoning was anyone's guess. It wasn't like they were friends again, not if she was being truly honest.

"Sounds like a calm life." She commented. "How's Elisa?"

To be completely honest, she was a tiny bit jealous. A normal job with normal hours that he enjoyed -something he had started to enjoy of his own accord, not because someone told him he should- and a family that loved him. That sounded nice.