Don't let me have misplaced my trust.

@samuel

The more the lockdown seemed to be going on the more riled up Kit was getting, he despised being kept in such a situation that he couldn't do much, sure it was more or less the same as any other time, he wasn't receiving letters or sending them out, that was the norm even before the lockdown. It was the premise of not being able to if he wanted to or if anyone wanted to, which as it was, wasn't the case. Unless of course, you counted his father and the many threats he received from him... Because of being so cooped up Kit's temper had started to become shorter, he tried to keep to himself, he didn't want to take it out on Imogen or Matilda and he felt bad but sometimes when he was pissed. His words could hurt.


Professor Copeland hadn't been on the receiving end of his biting words as such, but he had been on the receiving end of a pissed off  Kit, it hadn't been unintentional the Charms professor's timing was just... bad. He had been grateful to the older wizard for coming and finding him in the Potions classroom, he hadn't expected it to happen, in all fairness he hadn't really expected to still be in there so late but his lack of sleep had caught up to him. He wasn't entirely sure how Professor Copeland had known he was there, his thoughts were leaning towards one of the house elves cleaning had just told the nearest teacher there was a student out of bed and it was just lucky for Kit that it was Copeland not someone who would be... less than understanding. 


It had been nice, having someone noticeably care for him in the school walls but it had spooked him a little, he was on edge as it was so it was a relief when Copeland didn't push for him to tell him what was going on, no, instead he just let Kit do what he wanted and as it was, he'd briefly mentioned a few things on his mind but no more, he'd touched up the fact he was worried about Gen and he'd mentioned his concern for his best friend and that was the extent of it. The fact that he'd snapped when Professor Copeland had made him feel nothing but guilt. he was just trying to help, but Kit didn't know who he could trust nowadays save for a couple of people.


He knew he'd pissed off Copeland when he'd snapped (or it seemed that way at least) after he'd been walked back to the Slytherin common room, it wasn't until he'd talked with Imogen that he realised he may have been a little too harsh with the older wizard and that was why he was here today. He'd put it off for a couple of days but he knew he needed to apologise to Professor Copeland and maybe, just maybe he would actually have found someone in the school walls who he could trust and confide in. 

Taking a deep breath, Kit knocked lightly on the door to the Charms classroom, hoping Professor Copeland would be here before he opened the door and took a hesitant step inside.

Being stuck in the castle and being confined to the grounds was not something even the Hogwarts Professors were even comfortable with. He had other places he would much rather be. Samuel was worried sick at times about what was happening with his mum. Muggleborns were free game or so it seemed from the little news he had received from the outside. He knew that Calli would do her best to protect his mum for him but it was not her responsibility. It was that of Hannah but Samuel had no idea where his younger sister was. Samuel would be mad at his sister for being God Knows where but right now he had other matters on his head. He wanted to know that his fiancé and that their son was safe. As much as Calli may despise the group, her being the daughter of a Death Eater was the best thing for herself and Jeremy right now. Even Samuel had a hard time trying to convince himself of that, despite it being the truth. The man knew that there was so much uncertainty and he was capable of so much more if only he was able to get out.

While he wished he could take his mum somewhere safe, if only he could get past the gates to the school, he could do something for his students. Samuel had a number of Muggleborn students in his house and now a number of them were out but they were not in pleasant conditions but rather they were in whatever housing the Death Eaters deemed appropriate for them. He had no idea what that was meant to be but he had fears it was barely fit for human inhabitation regardless of what blood type a person was. Samuel had never seen the the Work camp for the Death Eaters but could only assume where the muggleborns (who registered) were to live would be worse than that. The group seemed to be hell bent on making life hell for those that they thought were not worthy of being in the magical world.

On the flip side Samuel had a number of students who indeed were children of Death Eaters. He made sure not single them out nor the muggleborns and he never favoured any of them. He liked to think that he was not the only faculty member doing this but he knew that Esther didn’t favour her eagles or anyone from the other houses but the same couldn't be said for Lucian Kirkpatrick. While the man had been disarmed by his own niece at the dance, it seemed he had still favoured her in the wake of the incident. It was ridiculous in Samuel’s mind. He had never liked favouritism but the same couldn't be said for his colleagues.

He had been in his classroom reading over his book lists for the following school year when he saw the blonde hair of Kit Virell. Samuel had spoke to the boy recently and it wasn’t evident that something was troubling the young wizard or else he wouldn't have spoken roughly to him.Samuel was the least bit phased by this, he had more important things to worry about than a student losing their cool with him. ”What can I do for you Mister Virell? he asked from the desk he was seated at at the back of the classroom.

Kit wasn't sure how to approach Copeland about things, he never apologised or he rarely apologised. The only person he ever apologised to was Imogen and any of his other close friends, not that he ever needed too, he hardly argued with most of his friends. The only reason he argued with Imogen so much was because that just seemed to happen in relationships and there was a lot of tension between the two of them right now what with her engagement growing closer and not a single hint of it being changed, it was hard on them both and it was definitely taking its toll on them as a couple. When Copeland had found him in the potions room it had been from the aftermath of another argument between the couple, something that he knew was his fault but at the time he'd been too stubborn to admit it. Imogen was just concerned and because it was still a rather foreign feeling for the wizard, he had got defensive when she'd pushed (not unkindly) to get him to talk.

Kit knew that Damion would probably be on the run by now, sure he wasn't a muggleborn but from what he'd overheard in conversations between teachers and what he'd seen first hand with his fellow muggleborn classmates but Oriel was and where Oriel went Damion went. Of course, Kit didn't blame either of them but he was a little pissed because if that was the truth where would he go when he finished school? He couldn't really live with Imogen, she'd be in Sweden most of the time and living here would just complicate things between them even more than they already were. Even if Damion was still at home and Oriel had ran alone, Kit didn't want to go back to the other wizard, ever since Easter and the scenario he and Jay had witness Kit had felt like a burden, a third wheel. There was obviously something between the two wizards and Kit had a feeling his presence would eventually be unwanted there, so why not take himself out of the situation first? The question of the matter though was how. This was another of his worries on top of everything else, when he was Damion he was safe from his father, but if he went he'd be easy to reach, then again he had a feeling he would no longer be safe if he still lived with Damion, his father was getting closer and Kit knew it.

The blonde tore himself from his thoughts as he loitered in the doorway of Copeland's classroom and he rubbed the back of his neck and ran his fingers through his hair anxiously, he wished Imogen had come with him but he'd been adamant he had to do it alone and now that he was here he wanted to run and hide again. He felt awful for snapping at Copeland and whilst he had a feeling that Copeland was used to things like this it was still emotional draining for Kit, as was the case with anyone who'd had an upbringing like his, things played on his mind, words stuck around. It wasn't a great lifestyle but it's what he had to endure. Of course, normally he liked to dismiss it but that was with strangers, people who he'd just pass on the corridor, he didn't care for those people in the slightest but Copeland was his teacher and Kit had to see him everyday.

Stepping inside the classroom was a task in itself and Kit exhaled heavily before making his way up to his Professor's desk and he rested his palms flat on the surface. ”I uh- I wanted to apologise, for the other day. I didn't mean to snap, I've just been dealing with a lot.” His voice cracked a little as the guilt filled him again and he dropped his gaze to the floor. ”So I'm sorry… I guess.”

With the Lockdown firmly in place, Samuel knew it was taking it’s toll on both students and staff alike, he saw it in lions and in Esther mainly. He and the blonde had a unique relationship and that was putting it lightly. Of course they were not going to cross the boundaries because they were trapped in the castle away from loved ones, he had more control then that, he hoped that Calli knew that and was not thinking that he and Esther were going to hop into bed together. He knew that she feared him cheating plenty but he was dedicated to him and to their son. Samuel imagined that when eventually they were all at home that he would immediately notice that Jeremy had grown a bit in his time away. It was over a month since the lockdown had commenced and the man knew that babies did grow at a rapid rate. He wished he was there to see it but he would have to wait to get home and for Calli to fill him on what he had missed. Samuel knew that there wouldn’t have been too many big milestones while he was away where Jeremy was concerned but he hated not seeing his son every day and he was even starting to miss talking to him while he changed his nappy.

He knew in a few years when Jeremy came to learn about the Lockdown he wouldn’t blame his father for missing a little of his first year but it didn’t stop Samuel from feeling guilty. Such a feeling was far to entrenched right now and he knew he himself would be feeling it for a long time to come. If only he had not come for the end of school year dance or if only he had left after checking the Gryffindor dorms then he would at home with his family rather than here at the castle. But on the flipside his lions would now be here without their head of house he would feel guilty if that was the case. He was therefore thinking it was better that he was here even though his mum was out there and was being targeted due to her blood status and Calli was on her own. He knew that was perhaps now what his fiancé would want to hear but he knew she would also understand his thought process. He of course was not there just for his lions but he was there for all students. Being the charms professor Samuel saw all the students for all their seven years at Hogwarts as the class was compulsory for their entire schooling. Though of course he often saw the students too when he was on his nightly patrols. That was of course how he had run into Kit Virell and subsequently the boy had snapped at him.

Samuel of course could not blame the boy for doing so. Tensions were high for everyone in this lockdown down and no one was happy to be here. Only a handful of staff members were able to come and go from the castle at their own will, that was of course due to their connections to the people who were now effectively running the school, the bastard Death Eaters as Samuel liked to refer to them as. The boy himself for had stopped by the Charms classroom, it intrigued the man as to why the Slytherin was here actually. He looked over at him as he spoke and rose to his feet. ”There is no need to apologise. Plus we are out of school term so there is no way I can put you on detention Mister Virell” he tried to reassure the boy with a faint smile. ”How are you spending your time Mister Virell, while the lockdown is in place?” he asked since there were no classes or exams now for the students to study for. Samuel was curious to hear the teen’s answer.

To say tensions were running high amongst people in the castle was an understatement, people argued, couples broke up, a variety of things happened in a school like this and even more so when it was a boarding school but now that the school year had officially ended people no longer had things to distract them from the drama that was teenage life so things like arguments which were a daily occurrence to witness in the school were far worse than normal, Kit even had first hand experience after all. He and Gen argued quite a lot, but normally they made up rather quickly but since the lockdown they'd had one or two arguments which had been far worse than normal but when you were confined to a place, it was to be expected. It was like they were in a rut. People got up, ate meals and passed the time day in and day out, there was no new news for people to discuss, no letters from family and friends to show off and chat about. There was just nothing. People were just existing right now and it was tedious.

Whilst Kit was loathing the lockdown, he felt sympathetic to his peers more than he was bothered himself, nearly the entire school had families anxiously waiting for them at home, parents and siblings missing them and no doubt going stir crazy, not knowing whether they would be coming home or not and then there were the halfblood's, some of which could have muggleborn parents and they had no idea what was happening to them it was a mess a giant mess and that wasn't even thinking about the teachers, adults who had husbands, wives and children at home wondering where mummy or daddy were, it wasn't fair and it was cold, even for the Death Eaters, but of course they thought of themselves only, strutting around without a care in the world. Kit was looking forward to their downfall, he just had to be patient because he knew it would happen again, just like the history books said happened the previous times the wizarding world was on the brink of war.

It was stupid really, Kit knew he didn't need to apologise, Copeland was a teacher and had been one for years, he had no doubt that teenagers snapping at him was so frequent he was indifferent to it now, but what Kit knew but didn't care to acknowledge openly was that he wasn't here just to apologise. Him being here was a cry for help, he just hoped Professor Copeland was smart enough to figure that out. He needed to talk to an adult, someone who could maybe shed some light on things. There was, of course, the guidance counsellor but Kit didn't trust her yet, he didn't really trust any of the teachers but there was something reassuring about Copeland that made Kit more inclined to talk to him above anyone. If Kit could have his own way he would have just battled with his thoughts alone, but in doing that he was losing his temper more and more and jeopardising his relationship with Gen so even though he didn't want to or lie the idea, Kit had to swallow his pride and open up. But he wasn't going to do it without a prompt, he just hoped Samuel would casually ask how he was then maybe he'd talk.

When Professor Copeland spoke, Kit glanced up at him and nodded once in acknowledgement, offering him the tiniest of smiles, ”You'd think that because we're still in the school rules like that would apply… at least I know I can run wild and not receive a detention.” He replied trying to make light of the situation but failing miserably. ”I spend most of my time walking. And if I'm not walking I'm in one of three places.” Those of course were the places he felt safest, the common room with Gen, the potions classroom alone and the Twilight turret, sometimes alone and sometimes with Gen or Matilda. ”I'm just waiting for the lockdown to be lifted, I hate it here. I feel like an animal a zoo, not to mention I've seen him walking around.” He told Professor Copeland bitterly, casting his gaze downwards. ”What do teachers do now that they don't… well… teach?”

Samuel was missing Calli and Jeremy terribly much the same he was certain everyone here was experiencing. He knew that eventually he would be home with them but right now he wanted to speed up time to when he was back in London at home with Jeremy singing to him in his nursery or with Calli cuddling on the sofa while they watched a muggle movie together. It was the simple things really that he missed the most. Hogwarts under the lockdown was not a place where even the small things could be enjoyed. There was no room for people to share a laugh while on their way to the Great Hall for dinner. Even his common room was less than boisterous and that made him fearful. He was not so much scared for the physical safety of his lions because he would protect them and defend them in a heartbeat if he needed to but he was more concerned with their mental well being. While they were not restricted solely to the castle, it was still boring to see the same scenery for so long. He knew it had to be harder for the students than the staff here. Each night the staff here were able to go home if they wish while the students were not able to leave the castle (unless they were interns somewhere) and Samuel missed that.

He wanted to be home with his family so much but right now he was unable to leave the castle. Only a certain amount of staff were able to do and he hated that. Samuel had never been a fan of there being rules for one group of people and another set of rules for another group. It had never been fair in his mind and right now it was sitting in the front of it, given what he was seeing around him. Samuel had never loved Death Eaters and now he loathed them. Sure his soon to be father in law was one but even Percy was distancing himself from the group to. It made the man laugh honestly. The group thought they had it all set but there were having divisions within their own ranks too. It was comical to think about really. Samuel hoped that while this all was going down Percy was keeping well. He hated that Cali had her hands full during time and he was stuck here. In one way he felt so isolated despite there being so many others around. Esther was here and they were friends but he needed Cali with him. Never had he ever thought that a woman would have such a profound affect on him.

His mind and the fact he was missing his witch so much had sent him on his many walks around the castle. This was how he had run into Kit who had been upset and unsurprisingly snapped at him. That outburst had barely bothered the man. If a student had snapped at him for no reason then he would have intention to put them on detention or reprimand them somehow. However, there were two things that were going in his favour right now. That he had one a reason to be upset was one thing and the other was that they were out of term now.

Samuel had not expected to see Kit here at his classroom. Students didn’t come to classrooms these days, unless there were after privacy or if they were there to seek coms consolation from a professor. The man knew that the Slytherin was not here for either of those reasons. ”Well I wouldn’t go that far, remember the professors here aren’t the only ones able to punish you” he warned with a look to match. He seriously hoped that Kit or any other student didn’t do anything to anger the Death Eaters. The wizard in front of him was just lucky that no one from the group had happened upon him the other night. Samuel feared what any Death Eater who was on patrols around the castle would do when they crossed paths with a student who was out of their dorm or common room past curfew.

”Walking seems to be something that everyone here is doing more and more of” he commented with small chuckle. When Kit mentioned his father in a roundabout way the professor sighed, hoping to move off the topic as quickly as possible. ”Well just remember you’re not the only one on exhibit at this zoo”He told Kit as he reverted back to his warning look from before. ”We professors don’t teach, no son, we socialise where possible. I’ve gone down and see the animals near the magical creatures enclosures too. “ he informed Kit.