Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2018 1:29:55 GMT -5
((CW: incest mentions, consensual))
Melina's hands slid across the creamy cardstock, light on the embossed words. She half-remembered watching a relative make them-- it had been another lifetime ago, and she'd still been half a girl again in France. How self-satisfied she'd been with herself, content to think of marrying Simon, how self-absorbed she'd been. Ballet and Simon and Devereux-- that was all she had cared about. She'd been confident in her life-- she would marry Simon, she would dance, and sometime, somehow, she would would have children, possibly after an accident that would leave her unable to dance, if her center of balance would be thrown too much, if her body was likely to swing through difficulties.
It was possible-- she and Simon were close enough relations on both her mother's side and her father's side, as her own parents were first cousins, and his paternal grandparents twins with her same-gendered parents. Had it worked out between her sister Melisandè and his father, he would have been nephew as well as first cousin once removed. Had that happened, they possibly wouldn't have been engaged (Bretta, Angeletta, Camila were all more likely), and Aldric was likely to have married Alix Jeanne. His sons would have married Edmond's daughters, his daughters Edmond's sons, and rightful lines of inheritance would have been established. What would she have been? Would she still have been a dancer? She wouldn't have fled back to England, but she would have been extraneous enough to.
Had her cousin married her, she would likely have fallen comfortably into life of Châtelaine. She would have headed the cadet branch of Devereuxs to the north and to the west from the Devereux seat in Brittany where they were the second family in influence, and she never would have been allowed to go to Avalon, as she would have been expected to direct Simon's actions. She still did, if from England, but she was expected to bow her head to Julianna (married to Simon, and residing in the chateau, for all that they were equals in rank, Julianna's place in the physical seat made the difference). Even all these years later, she wondered-- would she have ever learned?
When Simon had told her he couldn't marry her because he wanted Julianna, her heart had felt as if it had cracked to pieces. She'd loved him, had been certain of that. She'd been with him, had seen her life with him. Had that only been because she was told that would happen? She'd been the perfect daughter, shining in every field she was placed in, leading by example, the exemplary Devereux who did as she was told, and charmed all the older relatives.
She didn't know, didn't know if she ever would. All sorts of love had been mixed up in there-- Simon was her cousin, and she'd spent two days a week living with him, the same amount she'd spent living with her parents and Melisandè. His parents were two of her godparents, and her parents were two of his. Their third godparent was her sister Melisandè, who had carried Melina for her parents. He had been her best friend; she'd almost been closer to him than her own twin. Simon had broken that for their cheerful cousin.
She forgave him, though, or had had to seem like she did. Three heads could not be fighting with each other, and for all that she lived away, she must be seen to get along with Simon, with Julianna for the sake of--
A card cut a line against her finger, and she let out a low hiss, sucking the blood from the papercut.
Melina's hands slid across the creamy cardstock, light on the embossed words. She half-remembered watching a relative make them-- it had been another lifetime ago, and she'd still been half a girl again in France. How self-satisfied she'd been with herself, content to think of marrying Simon, how self-absorbed she'd been. Ballet and Simon and Devereux-- that was all she had cared about. She'd been confident in her life-- she would marry Simon, she would dance, and sometime, somehow, she would would have children, possibly after an accident that would leave her unable to dance, if her center of balance would be thrown too much, if her body was likely to swing through difficulties.
It was possible-- she and Simon were close enough relations on both her mother's side and her father's side, as her own parents were first cousins, and his paternal grandparents twins with her same-gendered parents. Had it worked out between her sister Melisandè and his father, he would have been nephew as well as first cousin once removed. Had that happened, they possibly wouldn't have been engaged (Bretta, Angeletta, Camila were all more likely), and Aldric was likely to have married Alix Jeanne. His sons would have married Edmond's daughters, his daughters Edmond's sons, and rightful lines of inheritance would have been established. What would she have been? Would she still have been a dancer? She wouldn't have fled back to England, but she would have been extraneous enough to.
Had her cousin married her, she would likely have fallen comfortably into life of Châtelaine. She would have headed the cadet branch of Devereuxs to the north and to the west from the Devereux seat in Brittany where they were the second family in influence, and she never would have been allowed to go to Avalon, as she would have been expected to direct Simon's actions. She still did, if from England, but she was expected to bow her head to Julianna (married to Simon, and residing in the chateau, for all that they were equals in rank, Julianna's place in the physical seat made the difference). Even all these years later, she wondered-- would she have ever learned?
When Simon had told her he couldn't marry her because he wanted Julianna, her heart had felt as if it had cracked to pieces. She'd loved him, had been certain of that. She'd been with him, had seen her life with him. Had that only been because she was told that would happen? She'd been the perfect daughter, shining in every field she was placed in, leading by example, the exemplary Devereux who did as she was told, and charmed all the older relatives.
She didn't know, didn't know if she ever would. All sorts of love had been mixed up in there-- Simon was her cousin, and she'd spent two days a week living with him, the same amount she'd spent living with her parents and Melisandè. His parents were two of her godparents, and her parents were two of his. Their third godparent was her sister Melisandè, who had carried Melina for her parents. He had been her best friend; she'd almost been closer to him than her own twin. Simon had broken that for their cheerful cousin.
She forgave him, though, or had had to seem like she did. Three heads could not be fighting with each other, and for all that she lived away, she must be seen to get along with Simon, with Julianna for the sake of--
A card cut a line against her finger, and she let out a low hiss, sucking the blood from the papercut.
