The deeper I sank the less I died

the trees swayed, slow in the tide
outfit @faith

The Kolna buildings were absolute shit, and so was the courtyard. A small square area overgrown with grass, weeds poking through between the slabs of concrete that laid crumbling in its center. It was a shit hole, but it was home. Hell, his life was a shit hole, but it was his, and he was going to make the most out of them both tonight. The courtyard was peaceful and becoming dimmer as the sun began to set. There was a fire burning in a rusting burn barrel, scraps from where the roof had caved in again. A pile of rubble sat just a ways away from the barrel to be put in. Jesse sat at one of the wobbly folding lawn chairs that surrounded it, he pulled a beer bottle from inside his coat.

Growing up, living on the streets, he had learned how to steal- not that he did it often. He never pick pocketed, but would take an opportunity, if he saw it, to take whatever he could that wasn't money. Something felt dirty about stealing money, he never liked it. Today he had seized an opportunity. On his way back from the mines he noticed a truck unloading alcohol at a local pub and when the driver had his back turned he had grabbed a crate and took off running. The chump hadn't even noticed it was missing and Jesse had a big shit eating grin all the way home.

He had stashed the crate away in the corner of the courtyard behind the overgrown bushes and weeds so that no one would take his loot, and so he could enjoy his spoils with his friend, Faith. The bottle felt good in his hand, he popped the top and took a long drink. It was like sweet honey being poured down his throat, man did he need it! He had left a note on Faith's bed to meet him down in the yard, when or if she would get the note he had no idea. He figured he would enjoy his drink, and the fire, and wait for her to make her appearance. 

There was something about this place that was slowly starting to feel like home. Maybe it was because she had been there so long, or maybe it was that she was always looking for some kind of companionship. She still hated most people in general. Sure she had great roommates (if one liked people enough to call them that) but people seem to be coming and going as of late, so who was she to be able to say that she liked people enough to even get to know them. She stayed away from Kolna as much as she could and would often sleep on a pallet of blankets or something in George’s shop if she could. She hated the beds so much, she hated feeling like she always being watched. She didn’t like that feeling, she had lived that life in the ward and she never wanted to go that way again.

She was tired and had actually been thinking about sleeping in her bed for a change when she found the note from Jesse. He was a sweet kid. She was a few years older than he, and he had still been in school, lse she would have put a very big smile on his face one evening. Going out to the courtyard she tucked some of her red locks behind one of her ears and wrapped her arms about her waist as she stepped outside into the shitty courtyard.

”Young buck. How’s it hanging?” She asked him with a wink before sitting down beside him. She almost sat in his lap but decided not to. She was lonely, but no need to push that onto anyone else and ruining friendships. ”That just for you, or you gonna share?” She asked him cheekily.

Outfit

and all of the songs were about you

all Of the songs were about you

The red-haired woman made her way to the courtyard and Jesse pursed his lips trying to keep his big goofy smile to himself. He would never admit it, but friends like Faith were all that kept him going in this screwed up world. Well, that and the hope that he would one day get his wand back and be able to practice magic like anyone else. Hope and Faith kept him going. She was older than him by a few years, but Jesse was an old soul. Many of the men in the mines were baffled to find out that he was still a student. Would be student that is. He chalked it up to the fact that his life experiences had aged his soul, but really it was because he was used to dealing with the shit storm that was his life. And wisdom is the heir of experience. 

"Long, loose and full of juice." Jesse chuckled as he flipped his ball cap backwards. The sun had passed the building now, it was no longer shining in his blue and tired eyes. Working the mines was tough, and his hands bared the scars from his efforts. Permanently stained brown from the soot and dirt, calloused and rough. Working man's hands. Faith sat by him and he reached one of his hands into his coat to pull out another bottle for his friend.

Jesse winked at her, returning a smile. He raised his brow with the piercing, "You think I'd forget about you, darlin'?" He extended his long arm holding the bottle out for her to take. Jesse found his eyes wandering the girls body briefly, but he made it brief enough that she wouldn't notice. Faith was a pretty girl, but she was also a friend. He didn't want to ruin that, not when friends were so hard to find in the Kolna complex. Friends worth trusting, that is. 

"So when are we gonna make our escape?" He cast a sly eye at her, the beginnings of a smile starting in the corners of his lips. "The mines are sooo boring. " Jesse pressed the bottle to his half-smiling lips and took another sip.

There were a long more younger muggleborns than there were older. Most of the older had gone on the run, or never registered. Most of the younger ones had been forced into Kolna because of school, like Jesse. She felt bad for them, because they were all in this together and if the kid was a little older she would have taken him into her bed to make him smile. Hell if she was truthful, she probably still would. Romance in Kolna wasn’t really a thing. It was more often than not just seeking comfort and a way to make it through the day. She would really hate to see what would happen to someone who lived in Kolna and got pregnant. It would probably be bad. ”Sounds about right for you, though you know you can come see me anytime you need to.” She teased with a smirk.

Taking the bottle she opened it and took a long pull from it before she smiled at him. ”You’d best not forget, who else is going to keep you from hanging yourself.” She joked with a smirked and bumped him with her shoulder. He was a good kid. He wasn’t like some of the others. They were sheltered and soft. They led lives that made everything fall apart when the smallest of things happened, but the hardened ones who had been through some shit were the only ones with their head on their shoulders.

”Being a street sweeper isn’t exactly rave. At least you don’t get spit on.”

THE DEEPER I SANK THE LESS I DIED

THE TREES SWAYED SLOW IN THE TIDE
CW: suicidal thoughts

Kolna was definitely not the greatest place on Earth, and Jesse wished he could shrug and say that he had seen worse. Truth was he hadn't, but there had been many close seconds. Some kids in foster care were lucky to find homes in the suburbs with sweet little families of understanding mothers and stern fathers. Not Jesse. Not with his record. He was a 'troubled' youth, according to the paperwork. He had, after all, come into this world an addict- a shaking little baby already fiending for the drugs he became accustomed to in his mother's womb. No one knew what sort of issues he could have as a result, and no one had wanted to deal with his troubles. So for as long as he could recall he had been stuck with families that didn't care whether he was good or bad, so long as they got that pay check at the end of the month. He had been in homes with six or seven children who ran wild through the streets. Homes filled with filth that stank of dirty diapers and rotting food still stuck to plates littered around the house.

Those were the worst ones as far as Jesse was concerned. If there was one thing he couldn't stand it was filth, and unfortunately that was what was worst about Kolna. Roaches and rats skittered down the halls seemingly unafraid of those who lived there. Jesse wondered if the pests saw the muggleborns as one of their own, just another group of filthy animals. Just as the Death Eaters saw them... Just as a pack of animals, the people of Kolna somehow found solace in one another. Those who were once enemies became friends, those who were once loners became family. They needed one another, not just for kinship, but for everything. They used one another in many ways. For heat and warmth in the coldest nights, for someone to lie with when they needed picking up, for someone to cry to when it had become too much.

Faith was one of his people. A person he would likely have never known had this whole ordeal never happened, and someone who he leaned on during this time- mostly for a laugh, a little cheering up now and again. She teased him about being able to come to her and he looked slyly at her with the bottle nearly pressed to his lips. "Is that an invitation?" Jesse raised his brows playfully. Faith was a beautiful girl, older than him but not terribly. Outside of these walls she wasn't exactly his type, but in Kolna that didn't really matter...

The woman pulled from her bottle and joked about being his savior. Jesse nearly spat out his own drink with a laugh. The humor was dark, but so was their lives- and it was nearly true enough to be a fact. There had been more times than he was willing to count that he had considered just ending it. At least before some pompous death eater ended it for him. He had held on though, for what he couldn't say exactly. Chalk it up to the fact that he wasn't a quitter, and that the alcohol was enough to dull the pain he felt. "To friends that keep us from ending it all," he chuckled, holding out his bottle in a toast. 

Jesse eyed the crackling barrel flames before him thoughtfully. "Nah," he shifted forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees as he spoke. "If I go out I'm taking at least one death eater with me. Hopefully more..." His blue eyes were intent on the fire, he felt it burning in his soul. The rage he kept inside was greater than he ever let on, but he wanted nothing more than to kill them all. Every. Single. One. If he had his wand he would likely give them a hell of a fight but without it he knew he was as good as dead in a fight. It was a fact that was hard to swallow. Jesse had always been a great fighter and an excellent dueler, but the feeling of helplessness was something new to him. He wasn't sure how to process it. The only thing he could do was imagine what he might do if it ever came down to it.

Faith spoke of her job and inferred that she had been spit on a time or two. Jesse's lip curled in an angry disgust. The fire burned deeper in his chest sending black smoke and coals through his veins. "They fucking spit on you?" he growled in question. Jesse shook his head, an irritated look on his face. "That is so fucked up... Probably a good thing no one spits on me, I'd have lost it. Probably get my ass kicked by a bunch of purebloods for going off." Or get his ass killed. Jesse knew that the job he was given, though brutal and hard, was not a bad one. He rarely dealt with purebloods, aside from the foreman. And he had proven to be kind enough so long as Jesse did his work without complaint. The only issues with the mines were the staggering number of injuries. Just that week a friend of his had been hit by falling rubble and sent to Saint Mungo's unconscious and bleeding. He still hadn't returned, and Jesse had a sinking feeling that he likely wouldn't...