Broken up deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

@jesse Outfit

She was slowly becoming okay, she didn't cry herself to sleep at night. She didn't long for his arms, didn't hear his laugh around corners. She was fine. Working in the hospital and school gave her something to focus on besides the emptiness that she had been feeling. How it had happened she still couldn't recall. She remembered the fight after her father had thrown her out. She remembered the talk about the Ministry and the coming home to get a pair of shoes or something stupid and seeing it. Them on the couch, and she had just turned around and left. He had followed her, but she ignored him. He had sent flowers and come to the hospital and then she had gone back. The weeks had been horrible and tough for her, but she was making it.

She had a lot to be thankful for and it had taken her time but she was going to be okay. That thought had gone through her mind all day, and she had had a smile on her face. Something that was rare. The girl was cold and closed off most of the time, so seeing her smile was something that was rare as hell. She was working on some of the cases the the healers wouldn't do. Mainly the muggleborns, it made her miss people and made her think about people. It made her wish Walker was still around.

Opening the curtain to the area she didn't look at the person, her eyes were on the chart before her. "Hello, I'm an intern, my name is....." She stopped and looked up before giving the person in the room a small smile. "Jesse? She said with a small laugh before looking at him, and remembering the reality of their lives.

I'd love to say I can hold myself together

But I can't help but come unglued
Every time I see you
outfit

Working in the mines was tough and in the short time Jesse had been employed there he had seen his fair share of injuries. Just last week a friend of his was smashed in the head by falling rock, the week before that two lads were burned by explosives. He had been lucky to not have been burned then, but it seemed that his karma clock was ticking and today he received his first on the job injury. Luckily for him it wasn't so bad, but his arm was bleeding quite a bit at first. Now it had slowed and he cursed the fact that if he had his wand handy he could have fixed it himself. Of course, being muggleborn, that wasn't a possibility- so off to Saint Mungo's for him.

Jesse felt almost embarrassed being there for, what he would consider, a minor injury. It was a scrape really....OK maybe a puncture? He hadn't looked at it. The bloke mining behind him went to swing and the top of his pick flew off, jabbing into Jesse's arm and when he looked down and saw the blood he immediately covered it with his hand. He hadn't looked at it since. He had actually begged the foreman to just let him bandage it himself, but boss man seemed pretty sure that it required more than a simple bandage.

So, still in his work uniform, he sat in the room waiting to be seen. His white long sleeve shirt had a bit of blood on it, his sleeves were rolled up and his blue uniform jacket was draped across his lap he anxiously tapped his foot, still holding his arm. His hat was on backwards, half of his cigarette tucked behind his ear, he figured he looked like a prisoner. Well, he kind of was, wasn't he?

Jesse had been gazing down at his arm, biting his lip in anticipation- he just wanted out of this damn place. When the intern came in he looked up to see a beautiful and familiar face. In that moment his arm was completely forgotten and he felt a smile creep across his lips. Jesse? she had laughed. God, how he missed hearing that laugh. "In the flesh," he said playfully. "How are you, girl? You look gorgeous, as usual. "

Truly had pretended for a long time that she was okay. That she didn’t need people, and that the things that her family had said to her over the years. She tried to pretend that the one thing that was holding her together was the fact that her name was all that she had now. She wanted things to be okay again, she wanted them to not hurt so badly any more, but it seemed like this was never going to be a reality. She wanted so many things to change, but there had been someone who told her a long time ago that she needed to be the change that she wanted to see. So she was trying. Her father was a Death Eater, and she had been raised to follow their beliefs, but these were the same people who told a girl who was their blood that she was worthless because she wasn’t a legitimate child.

She couldn’t help but smile as boy spoke. Putting down her clipboard she stepped further in and shut the curtain behind her before pulling him up into a tight hug. She was breaking all sorts of protocol, but she was an intern and they could bite her ass if they thought she wouldn’t be happy to see one of her oldest and dearest friends. She kissed his cheek softly like she used to and then stood back to take him in. Seeing the arm she pulled the stool over and looked at his arm. Using hr wand she cleansed it and then used gause to dab at it as she got a better look.

”Looks like you might need stitches…” Merlin did this feel familiar. This was how she mrt Luke, but that had been so long ago, and Jesse definitely wasn’t Luke. ”How are you holding up?” She asked him, unaware that her finger tips were lingering on his arm still.

I'D LOVE TO SAY I CAN HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER

BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT COME UNGLUED
EVERY TIME I SEE YOU

As the girl wrapped him in a hug he wanted so badly to hug her back, hold her against himself and not let go. With his arm bleeding like it was, Jesse didn't want to ruin her dress. He had missed her though. He had missed her a whole lot, and one thing that brought him the greatest sadness when he was told he would not return to Hogwarts was knowing he wasn't going to see her everyday. Hell, he had though he might never see her again. Her arms around him made him feel lighter and for a moment he forgot about the mines, and the trashy apartment they housed the muggleborns in, and the fact that he was registered. It felt so much like old times. He kissed her cheek softly as she kissed his, just as he always had. He drew the smell of her in as he did so, she smelled just as sweet as she looked.

He watched her work on his arm quietly not knowing what to say and in a weird way he didn't want to say anything at all. Jesse was more than happy just to sit by her in silence, watching her as she worked. He had spent more time that he would like to admit watching her. Watching her as she scribbled notes to him in class, or read a book across from him in the common room, or as she laughed with him enjoying the sun on the lawns of Hogwarts. Somehow the castle wasn't as grand as she was.

"I'm doing as good as a guy who got hit with an ax could be," he joked with a sigh. Reality struck him, like a brick to the forehead, and he knew that this wasn't like the old times no matter how much he wanted it to be. She had a boyfriend, last he knew, and she wasn't a lower-class citizen like himself. Things were...different now. That, however, wouldn't stop him from being his old self. "So you're still doing the intern thing? If I knew that I'd get hurt a lot more." He shot her a flirty smirk.

There was an old feeling creeping through her bones, one that she missed. It felt like her bones were tingling and she could feel a little bit of heat on her face. She was fully aware that he was watching her, and that floating feeling that she had always felt was back. She knew she had always liked him, and knowing that he was as Muggleborn had never done anything to deter her. She wouldn’t change her opinions of the work for anyone, she knew what she thought and she knew that a lot of what other people thought shaped the world. Small decisions were leading to big ones. The break up with Luke, the house being in her name, staying at Lila’s during Easter. It was all going to be great, but knowing that people like Jesse who had done nothing wrong was hurting her heart.

He had kissed her cheek and she had leaned on him, and she couldn’t believe she had done that, but then she hadn’t really realized how much that she had missed him. He had been her best friend for a long time, she had leaned on him since their first. She was still angry with herself for putting him aside for being a muggleborn, but she was blaming Dora and her father for that. She had put so much of herself at risk for the man who was her biological father, but then again, he had fathered a child with her ‘friend’. It was maddening.

He joked and she stopped and looked up at him with tears shining in her hazel eyes. Usually she would give the stitches, or use a salve, because they usually helped to prevent scars, but there were spells.He flirted and she felt her heart jump. Oh, Merlin she had missed him. He had been hit with an ax, and a part of her was worried sensless but there was something more that she wanted to do. She was sitting on the stool but she just stood and pointed her wand at his wound to cleanse it again and then it bandaged it self for the time being before she sat on his knee and leaned in, her soft lips pressing against his. It was meant to be a quick one, but it lingered (because she had no self control). Breaking the kiss after a moment she looked at him, knowing that she should move, that only a curtain stood between them and trouble, but this… she leaned back in and kissed him again, wishing that she had done so the year before, chosen him instead of Luke.

I'D LOVE TO SAY I CAN HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER

BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT COME UNGLUED

EVERY TIME I SEE YOU

The silence was killing him, he wanted her to say something- anything. He felt like his old self, but was she still the same? A lot had changed over the last year, with him becoming registered, his wand taken away, being dumped in the slums that was now his home. Had it changed for her too? Jesse knew that her parents wouldn't like him, had they known him, and he hoped that with everything that had happened they hadn't turned her to their side. He couldn't see her being that way, hating him for who he was, but a lot had changed- maybe she did too... But when she leaned against him as he kissed her cheek it didn't feel very different at all. It felt like old times, old feelings stirring up. He had never stopped having feelings for her, even after she told him about Luke. As a friend, he had respected the boundary, but his heart never stopped skipping beats when she smiled at him.

Jesse joked about his injury and as he saw her eyes well with tears he felt his heart hurt worse than his arm. He couldn't stand to see her hurting for him. Jesse was strong willed, proud, even when he had nothing to be proud of. He never let his situation bring him down..piss him off, maybe? Absolutely. But he never let the purebloods take his pride, never let his situation hinder him. Seeing her hazel eyes gleaming like that, it hurt. It brought the reality of his life front and center and exposed it for what it was. Unjust. She wasn't upset for his arm, she was upset for his situation. At least that's what he thought in that split second before she began cleansing and bandaging his arm. He felt his eyes burn with the threat of tears, but he pushed it away. He'd be damned if he cried for himself now. 

Just as he was thinking of something witty to say, to cheer her up, he was caught by the surprise of her sitting on his knee. His blue eyes met hers and he felt a change behind her eyes, no longer filled with grief but something else. His eyes were locked on hers as she had slipped onto his lap. The connection was still there, he could feel it as he wrapped his arm around her without hesitation. His body and hers were pulling toward one another, neither of them able to stop it. Truly had leaned in and kissed him just as swiftly as she had sat upon his lap, but her lips did not care to leave his as quickly as they arrived. The two lingered in the kiss for a moment, his lips tenderly greeting hers for the first time. It was amazing the feeling of her soft lips against his and his mind reeled with confusion and glee. What about Luke? What was this?

The two had been able to pull apart as the confusion swept over him. He found himself searching her eyes for answers, but his eyes wanted only to look achingly at her lips. Jesse wanted them back, his lips tingled wishing to meet hers again. Before he could make sense enough of his feelings, she had kissed him again. This time he kissed her back, pulling her close against his body with his arm still wrapped around her waist. His finger tips brushed against her soft cheek before pulling her deeper into his fervent kiss. Jesse wasn't sure what this was, but he hadn't cared, all that he knew was that he wanted to kiss her, like he always had, and like it could be the very last time. He wanted her to know, to feel, what he was feeling. This wasn't just an 'I miss you' kiss, it hinted much more than he was willing to say. As their kiss broke he smiled softly, he breathed a small chuckle. "You do this with all your patients?"

It was a simple thing that they had had once upon a time. A friendship that should have been something more, feelings that never changed; there were words that had gone unsaid because they had waited too long. She had waited too long to accept that what she felt was more than it should have been, what they could have been. It was something that haunted her for years. It was something that made her want to know what could have happened if things were different. Her heart ached for the things that he was having to go through, for what they were having to face. They were still so young, still so haunted. She could see it in his eyes, even when he tried to act like everything was okay. Even when things were supposed to have changed.

She had heard it say that you can’t help the people that you care about, the people that you love isn’t something that your heart can control. She wasn’t sure if she had ever loved him, but she knew that the put in her stomach said that there was something inside her that felt something. She would do anything, give anything to take him from this all, to change his world. She wished that she could change things for him. Her small hand came up to touch his face and she felt her eyes water a little, blinking them away just before he pressed his lips to hers.

She kissed him back, her arms about his neck she whimpered into the kiss and buried her face in his neck when he broke the connection. She sniffed a little and kissed his temple his forehead and then the tip of his nose. ”If I did, it would be very bad bedside manner indeed, but then I always made exceptions when it comes to you, now don’t I?” As a prefect she had tried to turn a blind eye to some of his antics, and had tried to find ways to help him get away with things. ”I get off in less than a half hour, do you have to be right back?”

I'D LOVE TO SAY I CAN HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER

BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT COME UNGLUED

EVERY TIME I SEE YOU

It was killing him to have her sitting on his lap, his lips having just parted from hers, to know that this feeling was temporary at best. Once she left the room he would go back to his new, shitty life and she would return to work, and eventually to Hogwarts. He couldn't help but think about how things would have been if he would have told her how he felt earlier, before she got with Luke. If he had been just a few weeks earlier, drawn that courage up just a little bit sooner, things could have been different. He could have felt her lips against his a thousand times by now, and not just twice in this waiting room, where he sat in his miner's clothes, and she in that lovely dress.

Everything became quite clear. The beeping of machines in the background, echoing from somewhere in the hospital wing in which he sat. The pale, sterile looking white walls, they came to focus as she kissed his temple, and then his nose. The confusion had ceased as he and she had shared their second kiss, but it returned again begging him for answers. Where was Luke in all of this? Was she still his? He felt that the answer was likely no, Truly wasn't the type to go behind someone's back in that manor. But, again, he questioned how much she might have changed since he saw her last. The Truly he knew never kissed him like that, never kissed him at all! Jesse could feel more questions being asked than answered, but still he found himself smiling at her.

"Never know-" he shrugged, shooting her a playful look, "-could be a new form of practice. Kissing away boo-boo's." His lips cocked into a handsome half-smile. As the beauty before him spoke of making exceptions he found himself nodding, his lips twisted into an expression that expressed that she was right. She was always looking out for him, making sure he didn't get into nearly as much trouble as he aught to have been in. In even being his friend at all she made an exception to her bloodline, choosing not to be hateful. And he respected that, given her background, that couldn't be an easy choice. In short, he didn't deserve her- which is what he had been telling him self all along. Ever since she chose Luke over him. "No," he replied when asked if he needed to go back, he found his eyes wandering around the features of her face. Jesse had missed her beautiful face, he didn't want to forget how she looked just then. He wanted to remember every detail, her smell, the brightness of her eyes, her smile, the taste of her still lingering on his lips. "I'll be here if you want me to be."

She was crazy for doing this. She knew that he was a Muggleborn, that she could get into a lot of trouble doing this, and being the daughter of a Death Eater, but he had disowned her. He had cut her off, legally disowned her, maded he into a nothing. She stood alone now with nothing but her name, and the home that Luke and she had bought. He let her have it, sending in paperwork that showed that she had bought him out, even if she hadn’t. She could stand on her feet now, and she now had a way to live once she finished school. She was not so alone as she thought, and it made things harder for her to think that her life would be so much in shambles.

Her world hd come crashing down so many times in the last year, and it seemed like everything and everyone had abandoned her, but then just when she had been at her lowest, Jesse came back into her life like a breath of fresh air that she needed and she couldn’t help but feel, for the first time in the longest time, happy. He did this to her, he always knew how to make her happy.

She couldn’t help but laugh a little before putting her head on his shoulder, a wistful sigh came from her lips and she an a finger along his jaw. ”I was actually thinking about going to my house when I get off. Yeah, that’s right. Truly Delaney. Home owner. We can go talk there and I can give you some potions to make sure you’re not infected or anything. “ The only allowed her to do the minimum on the muggleborn patients. It was just the rules and she refused to do that to him. She had a whole stock of potions at her house, from when Luke lived there. She wanted to kiss him more, to never move from that spot. She wanted the things that her body told her she wanted, and the things that her heart said as well. However, life wasn’t that easy or simple. This was already complicated enough, but it just felt right. ’You want to come with me?”

I'D LOVE TO SAY I CAN HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER

BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT COME UNGLUED
EVERY TIME I SEE YOU

Memories of Hogwarts flooded Jesse's mind, all the times he and Truly had over the course of the years. They were friends, best friends really, and it seemed like everyone saw that they should have been something more except for them. Walking arm-in-arm through the halls, hello and goodbye pecks on the cheek, there was even a running joke about how they always seemed to be touching one another. Brushing hair out of her face, her touching his arm when they spoke. It was no wonder everyone saw something, but to them it was the norm. Jesse could recall getting mocked about not trying to further their relationship, get out of the friend-zone, but he had shrugged them off. He and Truly were friends, and that's how they stayed... for a long time. When he finally started to see that maybe everyone had all been right it was too late. 

When he had found out about Luke it hurt a little, but he had acted as though it didn't. Jesse had a way of doing that, making a joke out of things to mask any sort of emotion he had. It was hard to watch her with him. Hard not to imagine himself in that position. Still, he made damn sure that she didn't know that. He may have lost his chance, but he'd be damned to lose her too. That is until the registration happened. After that he lost everyone, and everything. Trivial matters of the heart had faded away under the crushing weight of the heartbreak he felt from losing his wand. But that too faded in time, Jesse had become utterly numb to the whole ordeal now. This was his life, and he had no other choice but to move forward.

And move forward he had. This new life felt familiar and he had gotten used to the idea of being stuck in this hell for the rest of eternity. The numbness spread, heightened by his drinking, and he fell complacent in his roll. That is until today. Seeing Truly broke the shell from around him, broke the numbness into a crumbling heap underneath him. He felt happy again, for the first time in a long time, and it felt amazing to feel anything. Even if that feeling was a strange combination of yearning, confusion, and giddiness. Truly spoke of having her own place, which had been a little surprising. Damn, a lot really had changed. It didn't matter where she invited him, she could have invited him to the bottom of a swampy moat and he would have been more than happy to follow.

"Infections?" he questioned jokingly, "I've probably got the black lung, I'll be dead within the week." Jesse's head leaned against hers against his shoulder. He hadn't even noticed the fact that his arm was still around her waist, it felt so natural there. He moved it, turning it to look at the bandage she had placed on it. Couldn't hurt to get it fixed up properly. He knew that she wasn't allowed to help him as much as she could, not here anyway. Jesse draped both arms around her, holding his hands together at her hip, and smiled boyishly at her. "Home Owner? Since When? Hell Yeah I want to come, I gotta see this house," Jesse laughed slightly. "Obviously we've got some catching up to do..." His deep voice echoed his enthusiasm. A smirk rose on his lips and his thoughts merely spilled out loud, "I missed you, you know?"