This was all stupid to think about. Thinking about it was only going to aggravate him nore than he had already been the past several months. He didn’t need the damn reminder that his family was gone and that he had pretty much told one of his closest friends to fuck off indirectly. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. Granted he still needed to figure out how he was going to keep this to himself during summer break. It wasn’t like she had really spent a whole lot of time at his house during holidays so it shouldn’t be too difficult. It seemed like all they did was shag anyway so he doubted she would notice at all. He felt like a bit of an ass as he had been using it as an excuse not to talk to her. He guessed it was working to both of their advantages for the time being, though he wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle it.

”I guess she’s okay.” He said with a slight shrug trying to enjoy the banter between them as he felt his mood start to go downhill. It seemed like he couldn’t maintain a decent mood to save his life. The once happy carefree guy that everyone enjoyed being around was gone. It was a lonely existence even if his girlfriend was still around, though he had a bad feeling at some point she would figure it all out and go her own way.

Roman tried to shake off the unhappy thoughts when he heard Cecilia speak again. There was no point in ruining her good mood because he couldn’t seem to keep his emotions in check. He couldn’t stand all the hate he felt but he really had no choice at this point. ”Can you get me an autograph while you’re there?” He teased lightly before starting to move his arm from around her. ”Well then you better get going. I heard he is very impatient.” He added with a smirk. His head snapped to the side to look at her when she said ‘bluggers’. He sincerely hoped she was joking about not knowing what a bludger was called. She had been with him long enough to know some quidditch terms, unless she wasn’t paying attention to anything he did out on the pitch. She knew how he felt about playing ‘stupid’ so he just took it as a joke. ”There are other ways to burn off pent-up aggression?” He asked with a chuckle knowing what she meant but just wanting to have a bit of fun with her.

He rolled his eyes as the girls passed though they hadn’t even bothered trying to speak to him. It was still odd to him that they would even care at this point, though he was sure the whispers probably weren’t the ones he was used to getting before the beginning of term. ”I guess it is good you are back…” He began trailing off for a moment to yawn. The sleep deprivation was definitely going to kill him at some point. It seemed like he hadn’t slept properly in months.

Cecilia had been dating Roman long enough to know the moment that his thoughts started to get the better of him. She really had to stop herself from asking him what the hell was going on, knowing that he would tell her in his own time. As she had never been one to pry, she was irritated at herself for not being able to drop the topic, even just in her mind. Something bad had clearly happened, which worried her, but as she had secrets of her own, she understood that he needed to have his as well. It just didn’t stop her from noticing when it affected his mood, though she obviously would do the best to try to help distract him. If it was one thing she thought they both excelled in, it was providing distractions. After all, he distracted her from the wandering thoughts of her own life often, whether he even realized it or not, “Damn, only okay? I certainly hope he’s better, or I might just have to stick with what I’ve got,” she replied, offhandedly, inconspicuously casting a glance in his direction. Yes, she could clearly tell that his mood was beginning to be impacted by whatever it was that was on his mind, though she wished there was something she could actually do about it.

“I plan on being a bit too busy for autographs,” Cecilia told him, raising an eyebrow at him as though that was the most ridiculous question she’d ever been asked. The amusingness of this conversation was at least putting her in a good mood, thoughts of her father and the letters waiting for her in her room still present but at least at the back of her mind now. Cecilia groaned dramatically as he started to move, far too comfortable to even jokingly pretend she was leaving. Her lips quirked up in amusement at his comment, “I’ve heard he’s impatient too, but everyone knows I’m worth waiting for,” she joked. Immediately, she did realize that the bluggers comment had been a bit over the top, even for her. Cecilia knew that it was rare in the Wizarding world to dislike flying and Quidditch, but just the thought of it made her ill. But she supposed she really would know what the ball was actually called at this point, “Oh, I know what a bludger is, Roman, don’t give me that look,” she added, dryly, though her eyes showed her amusement. She had clearly been to enough of the Slytherin games to know the basics, and the rest she’d learned from her stepfather and stepbrother, unfortunately. Though, she could calculate that it had been nearly four years since she’d been on a broom last. “There are plenty of other ways, yes,” Cecilia said, in a solemn tone.

It seemed as though the group of bints were leaving the courtyard, or at least making a round. They always seemed to come in increments of three, she’d realized, coming back ten minutes later each time. But they never spoke to them, though Cecilia did wonder if they would attempt conversation with Roman if she weren’t there. If she really wanted to amuse herself, she would leave sometime and find out, “That crying keeping you up at night?” Cecilia asked, lightly, noticing his yawn. He seemed to always been bloody tired recently, something else that she was realizing.

Roman had to force himself out of this funk. It wasn’t fair to Cecilia to have to deal with his ridiculous moping. There was nothing that could be done at present. Well, there were things he could do, but they would be a bit more extreme than what he currently felt was necessary. The Ministry might have the right idea by putting the Death Eater scum in a work camp, and taking absolutely everything from purebloods. Though he did feel like purebloods still got off far too easily. They were still permitted to hold jobs within the ministry, and even in the damn school now. He wondered if the Headmistress had finally lost her fucking mind. What kind of fucking sense did it make to make a pureblood a Defense against the Dark Arts professor, then again the bint was probably very familiar with the dark arts.

”Well compared to you I guess you guys tie. I don’t know though, there was this one thing she did… “ He smirked. Cecilia was certainly different than any other girl in that respect. He had always felt like he had to be so careful with other girls, almost as if he would be scared to break them. They definitely didn’t have that problem. She never stopped surprising him in just about every little aspect of their relationship. ”Well damn if I don’t even get an autograph out of it, then I forbid it. How selfish of you.” He said returning her raised eyebrow. He refused to think about all the crazy going on around him for a moment as other thoughts slowly started creeping into his head. ”I think we need to have a talk if everyone knows your worth it.” He chuckled before shooting her a playful glare.

He had been worried slightly for a moment when she had said ‘blugger’. He knew she wasn’t stupid or that unobservant. If that were the case they wouldn’t have lasted as long as they had. Any girl who would resort to dumbing themselves down to impress a guy just wasn’t worth his time. ”I’ll look at you however I feel like it and you’ll deal.” He said with a shake of his head in amusement as he moved to tighten his grip on her. ”Mind sharing what those other ways are?” He asked in a smooth deep voice leaning in to kiss her gently before pulling away with a wink. They were out in the open, it really wasn’t the time to get amorous but he couldn’t really help it at that point. He needed the distraction. Roman looked at his girlfriend with a crooked smile. ”Well you aren’t around to help me sleep. So it is all your fault regardless.” He teased though he was sure shagging would solve the problem momentarily. As long as he continued shagging her he knew she would leave things alone. It would be hard to focus on anything else.

She did know that she couldn’t keep from him forever who her real father was. Even if it ended their relationship, Cecilia knew that it was something that she’d have to tell him eventually. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know that Klaus was her stepfather, and hell, he had probably noticed that she absolutely never talked about her real father. Eventually, the truth would certainly come out, no matter how much she stalled it from happening. Part of her wanted to think that he would take the news better than she was figuring he would, but Cecilia also wasn’t that damn naïve. Having a Death Eater for a father wasn’t exactly something that she could see many blokes being all right with as far as their girlfriend was concerned. There was only so long that she could put off the inevitable, she supposed, and she was thinking that it was coming up rather swiftly. She allowed a smile to grow across her face, though she’d only just caught his statement. Apparently now she was the one that was distracted, “You said she was just okay and now we’re tied—and here I thought I was better than okay,” she said, teasingly, hating that her thoughts of their almost inevitable break-up were getting the better of her. Now clearly wasn’t the time to dwell on that.

Sighing dramatically, Cecilia shot her boyfriend a glare, her amusement barely concealed, “You’re going to forbid it and ruin all my fun—typical,” she grumbled, though really it was a laughable thought indeed that she would ever need to look for ‘fun’ elsewhere. But the amusing conversation was helping as a distraction, at least, though she could really hardly recall a time that Roman wasn’t able to distract her from her thoughts, whether he knew he was doing it or not, “Everyone just must have good taste,” she replied, innocently, though really, she didn’t suppose she talked to anyone enough for more than a handful of people to have any kind of positive opinion about her.

Between Roman, Isabella, and Evan, she was surprised she’d never been forcibly tossed on a broom. Nor did anyone really ever pry into why she hated flying so much, though she wouldn’t tell them even if they did. But, of course, she couldn’t be around those three all the time and not know enough about Quidditch to get by, “However you feel like,” she repeated, raising an eyebrow, knowing that there were some ways that he looked at her that she certainly enjoyed more than others—though now probably wasn’t the time for her mind to go there, “Maybe I’ll show you later if you’re lucky, but for now you’ll just have to use your imagination,” she replied, smiling slightly before moving to kiss him back, having to remind herself that they were in public. Shagging was another distraction that worked quite well, she mused, “Once again proving how good it is that I’m back,” she said, solemnly, trying to ignore the part of her that once again wanted to ask what was going on, deciding to move in and kiss him again.

Roman could tell that Cecilia was now getting distracted by her own thoughts. He couldn’t help but think that she was hiding something from him those days. He didn’t like that thought not one bit. It was aggravating to think that she had something on her mind and couldn’t tell him. He was aware that made him seem like something of a hypocrite, but she hadn’t bothered asking him what was wrong so it didn’t count. If he thought for one moment that his girlfriend would actually tell him what was on her mind he would ask her, but that wasn’t the case. It felt like their relationship was being built on secrets, or maybe it was just shagging. He wasn’t sure these days. ”I guess you are better than okay, though I may need some reminding.” He added the last bit wiggling his eyebrows before letting out a light chuckle.

This was certainly helping his mood. He would much rather just avoid his thoughts and what was happening at ‘home’ and spend some quality time with his girlfriend. ”Yes, I live to ruin your life. Didn’t we have this conversation already? I forbid fun of any kind that doesn’t involve me, and you—getting acquainted.” He said with a smirk his mind going drifting off to more inappropriate places that would be most definitely frowned upon in public. He snorted in amusement wondering if she had caught on that the joke he had made about others knowing her worth was insinuating that she was a woman of loose morals, or she might be and they would need to discuss it further. It really didn’t matter anyway. He knew what she wanted. It was apparent as always. They typically never spoke at length, usually preferring just to take care of things in a more physical manner.

”I have a terrible imagination. Are you really going to make me wait? Don’t make me have to go look for the beater’s girlfriend.” He joked. He was starting to feel like they had talked enough for his taste. They had barely gotten to see each other as of late, and who knew what the hell summer would have in store for them. He pulled her closer when she kissed him, gently rolling more onto his side as he deepened the kiss. A hand moved down along the side of her body before stopping at her hip to urge her even closer. ”Want to get out of here?” He breathed barely pulling his lips from hers.

Cecilia knew that eventually they would just have to talk about this—about all of it. She couldn’t hide the truth from him about her real father forever; perhaps she could have if he never tried to get in contact with her, but he had. She loved Roman enough that she knew he deserved the truth, even if it ended badly. Her stalling, unfortunately, couldn’t last much longer. It wasn’t like she was all that great at hiding when something was on her mind; she wasn’t necessarily bad at it, but she wasn’t fantastic at it by any means. He had to know that something was going on, and she could only assume that it would get to the point that he’d straight up ask her about it. And she knew that he couldn’t hide whatever was bothering him forever. She might not have asked about it, not wanting to press the subject, but it was certainly getting to the point that she might have to. Cecilia wanted to know what was going on with him, hell, she needed to know really. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she laughed under her breath, “I do give excellent reminders,” she told him, knowing that shagging certainly was their way of reconnecting at this point. It was an aspect of their relationship that absolutely always made sense, even when everything around them was going to shit.

“Well luckily for you, that is my favorite type of fun,” Cecilia said, her smile widening. Whatever was happening her life, being around Roman helped her to forget it, even if it was still annoyingly at the back of her mind. More than ever, she needed that, and she hoped that she was able to provide the same distraction for him. Even just talking and hanging out certainly helped, though she found their minds did seem to wander before too long, “Oh, don’t worry—no one at Hogwarts knows how worth it I am apart from you,” she stated, winking. Cecilia could tell that Roman was already thinking about something that had absolutely nothing to do with talking, and thoughts that would be incredibly inappropriate to act on in the middle of a courtyard.

She made a face as if she was considering if she really should make him wait. Merlin knew that neither of them were great at waiting, and she knew that unless she was planning on telling him what was going on with her, there was little use talking anymore at the current time. They could catch up later, she supposed, but she figured they had talked more than enough, “You know I hate waiting,” she said. Her hand drifted up his chest to his neck as she kissed him back, and any thoughts that had been on her mind were already gone as he pressed her closer. They needed a location change, she thought, a fact he verbalized only moments later. She nodded almost imperceptibly to his statement about leaving, deciding that their conversation could officially be over for the time being.

He really just wanted to get away for a bit, to just forget everything. They really needed to talk soon. He cared so very much for Ceci, hell he even felt like he might just love her but there was just something going on in her head that he couldn’t figure out and it worried him. He would always worry about her and her well being. Something was quite obviously wrong and the urge to find a way to protect had started to kick in. It was so very important to talk to her about this all, but it was difficult to think of anything else when she was so bloody close to him.

He chuckled at her quick wit, finding it to be one of the most attractive things about her. She was obviously beautiful, but he always felt there was more to a woman than met the eye. Though for the time being he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes from wandering over her, making a very obvious stop at her chest with a smirk. He was fairly certain it would be frowned upon to remove her top for a better look in the middle of public. They really needed to get out of there soon. His hand drifted farther down to her arse, kissing her deeply before laying a full smack on her bottom with a smirk. ”I think we better go now before I take you in front of an audience.” He rumbled moving back to place a gentle kiss on the side of her neck before beginning to get to his feet.

It seemed more often than not, Cecilia would realize that they really needed to talk things through, only for them both to decide that shagging was a far better use of their time. Of course, it wasn’t as though that was all they did; she highly doubted their relationship still be lasting if they didn’t talk, but it seemed more often that not recently they both would find themselves in need of a distraction. Shagging certainly provided them with that, though she supposed it might also be a bit of a stalling tactic as well to avoid the inevitable conversation that she really didn’t want to have. Obviously, there was also the bit where she was dating a fit bloke and had trouble keeping her hands to herself. He had the same problem, which didn’t help at all, especially on the occasion that she was trying to focus on a conversation. Now was not an example of that, as she would much rather focus on other activities. Luckily, they were clearly on the same page about that, though now she had to contemplate just where they were going, as she didn’t have the patience to go all the way up to her dormitory, or all the way down to his, really.

She raised an eyebrow as his eyes moved over her, though it really wasn’t helping much with her quickly dwindling level of patience, and it did make her wonder why they would come here when it was so irritatingly out of the way. Cecilia jumped slightly as his hand made contact with her arse before laughing against his lips as she kissed him back. Annoyingly, she could hear the tittering of the group of girls still present in the courtyard, further proving that they did need to leave before things actually got out of hand, “And what would your fan club think of that?” She said, solemnly, though she was starting to think that that was certainly one way to prove a point. She pulled herself to her feet before glancing over at Roman, “Where to?” Cecilia asked, her patience wearing thin.

His father and mother abandoning him had been the last straw, throwing him into this person that he truly never was and he didn’t really want to be anymore. He wanted to be able to smile and act like life was just peachy, but that wasn’t going to happen. He missed the large group of friends he had had for years, and the way it felt to have those friends stop him in the hall to tell a joke or just bullshit about things happening about the school. Gods he despised who he had become. He wasn’t hateful or mean person, and if he thought anyone still cared about him he may have tried to stop it but it was too late now. He felt that maybe he’d be stuck as this person for the rest of his life.

No, he needed to stop thinking about all of that ridiculous mess and focus on the attractive young witch before him. At least a shag would get whatever it was on her mind to leave her for a bit. Unfortunately he knew that the distraction wouldn’t last long for him. Shortly after he would feel that anger and emptiness inside as he always did. He rolled his eyes at his girlfriend. ”I don’t have a bloody fan club and I assure you no one is looking at me like that anymore. I’m all yours.” He smirked in response before standing and brushing his pants off. He pulled her close giving her a long lingering kiss before gripping her hand and all but dragging her back into the castle, essentially answering her question. They had been talking far too long.

--END OF THREAD--