Teenage daydream

Just another dressed up heartbreak

God save the prom queen

Devin was in a mood. Not the near comatose type of mindset that he had slipped into for months after the Lestrange incident... He was not shutting down. He wasn't shutting off. He was stuck feeling what he was feeling--and to put that experience simply: Devin Douglas Wright was jealous. He was jealous, as fuck...and it was all his doing. He had lashed out. He had told Sasha to go back to her old life. But since she had. He bloody hated it.

More than once, he had seen her talking to her ex... The rich prat who actually was not really a prat: Emanuel Delaney. Devin wanted to hate the boy, but they were teammates. Emanuel had even offered to help Devin with revision to get caught up in lessons. He was definitely one of the people in the castle that seemed genuinely happy and supportive of the muggleborn students being back. That made him hard to hate--But the thought of him getting back together with Sasha made is really bloody easy.

But what could Devin do about it? Apologizing to Sasha was not something he was eager to do. He was too proud for that. Miserable or not, the wizard was not going to just waltz up and admit he had been stupid. Not when he could be a smartarse instead, maybe piss her off a bit more...because obviously, that was the way to win her back. The little devil on his shoulder urged him on, though, as he approached her, while the angel on the other side just rolled his eyes and looked both annoyed and disappointed with the course of action.  

"Princess Augustine," Devin greeted, making an exaggerated bow to the witch. His face wore a devil-may-care smirk, but his eyes betrayed the myriad of feelings he had at the sight of her. They told the story of how he missed her...of how he wanted to kiss her...of how he wanted to claim her as his and put a fist through anyone who gave a thought to challenging that. But his tongue would not confess those things. Instead it offered sarcasm: "Gracing us lowly peons with your present. We are not worthy." His tone dropped dry at the end. He had not really spoken to her since they came back to Hogwarts. They were a year apart in classes, so it was easy enough to avoid talking without it seeming awkward or intentional. So, why was he talking to her now? Other than she was actually alone for once---no other boys, no Marisol. He had not really thought about it. He just saw the opening and went for it. He was not going to let the chance to see if he could pull her into a fight pass by...because a fight wasn't better than a shag, obviously, but it was surely better than nothing. And it wasn't as if she didn't know that he still noticed her--he'd been caught checking her out a few times. He had just smirked every time that happened though. Those moments felt almost like back before the badness at Kolna. 

Sasha Violet Augustine  • 521 • uniform, loose tie

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

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[attr="class","clyrics"]And your boyfriend pretends not to see her[break]
'Cause she's got that fire, doesn't even try

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[attr="class","cbody"]There’d been a time in her life when coming into the common room had been fun. There were always boys that wanted her attention, girls that wanted to be her friend, and there had been no shortage of entertainment. Since she had gotten back to Hogwarts, that was what she had tried to get back to. It hadn’t taken too much for the girls in her new year to be falling all over themselves trying to impress her. Too easy, in fact. Probably because they were younger than her, but whatever. She wasn’t going to complain about being able to regain popularity amongst her house. That was always what she had been good at.
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And boys… well, there were always boys. It was all nearly too easy. Had it always been this easy? Or had it just been more satisfying before? Sasha couldn’t honestly remember. She just knew that regaining social status among Gryffindor House had been far simpler than she had expected. She had never been popular among Slytherin—the purists anyway, but she was sure that the rest of the school apart from them would be just as easy to sway.
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It wasn’t even a challenge.
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Sasha had told herself that eventually everything was going to go back to normal. She just had to give it time. Her old life had been ripped away from her and replaced with a new reality. Getting back to normal wasn’t going to happen overnight. It just wasn’t. If she put on a good face, no one would be able to tell the difference. No one knew her enough to even realize it. Maybe once upon a time, Emanuel would have, but time had changed a lot. He had no idea what had happened while she had been gone. No idea what she had seen and experienced. If she was acting okay, he had no reason to look any deeper, right?
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Sure. She was just going to go with that. Merlin knew that he was too busy to give it much extra thought anyway. He had been nothing but nice to her since her return, and she didn’t take the busyness personally—it was just… frustrating. She supposed that was the word. Everyone else was hurrying along toward their big, grand plans after graduation. They were worried about their marks, dealing with their internships, and she had no idea what would happen when she was done school. Not the slightest clue.
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When she had been here last, Emanuel had been a flirt. A Quidditch player—and a player in the other connotation of the word. She had gotten back, and he was focused. More serious. Still likely a player and still a flirt, but time had changed him too. Properly. He had grown up. But what had she grown into? She barely knew who she was anymore. And coming back here, to people whose lives had never gotten thrown off course, didn’t help matters.
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Still, she went about the motions. She went to her classes, she hung around with the girls still trying to impress her. She smiled when boys flirted, laughed at the right times, and generally tried to be the person in the common room that everybody was orbiting around. Because she mattered. Right?
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For once, she was alone in the common room. It was almost a relief. She figured that it wouldn’t last all that long. Someone would come along eventually, and she’d put on a good face for them too. Smile and laugh and have them hanging on her every word. What she had not expected was Devin.
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He had made his opinions on her very clear, and she hadn’t even bothered to give him a second look since their return to Hogwarts. They were back where they belonged. People like her did not end up with people like him. The times of feeling like she wasn’t good enough for him were over. A moment of weakness. It was over. And she knew exactly what he was after from the moment that he spoke. She didn’t even bother to look at him more than just a second, before her gaze returned to the magazine on her lip. How to get Your Summer Body by Spring. Boring. She already had her summer body now.
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“That’s right, you’re not,” she replied, her disinterest clear in her tone as she flipped to the next page of the magazine. So far this issue had done little to hold her attention but anything was better than actually looking at Devin. That was just not going to happen.
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[attr="class","cnotes"]764 ● @ go away ● uniform, her skirt is shorter than dress code because we bend the rules here and that's apparently worth noting

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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Teenage daydream

Just another dressed up heartbreak

God save the prom queen

There was nothing that made sense about him and Sasha anymore. He had a purpose in her life a Kolna. But back here at Hogwarts, it was different. They were different. They were on different levels of the social spectrum. He had been the first one to point that, even before they came back. So, why was he having such a hard time with it? Why did he want something that he had no right to go after? Because he was glutton for punishment clearly. And because he did not feel like any of the other girls around Hogwarts could get him. Not even the ones that had been at Kolna. They were not her. They didn't know what he had been through. They had not been the one to sleep tucked into his side night after night. She was set apart.

And he wanted her back.

Whether he ever really had her, he wanted her back. And he was not going to just let her hide behind that magazine and ignore him. Sure, he had told her to go back to her old life. But that was a dumb thing to do. He needed to get her back interested in slumming it a bit. It didn't have to be serious. It didn't have to mean anything. Because obviously there were no feelings. Definitely none at all. Zero feelings.

He just wanted to get on her nerves and between her thighs. So, being the mature bloke that he was, he plucked the magazine out of her hands--making a grand display of turning the page, the wizard read aloud:  "OH, GURL--Say Bye to those basic ponytails! These THIR-TEEN braided styles are taking over." He was incredibly dramatic in tone and gesture as he broadcast the headline before flipping a few more pages, rolling his eyes trying to find something interesting in the glossy pages. Seven tampons for swimming, pass. Blah-blah-blah helps you win at life again, boring, pass. Everything you need to know about the cli--OH, now that might be worth a read, but he got distracted by the Witch Weekly Stamp of Sexcellence on the next page.

"Introducing the Witch Weekly Stamp of Sexcellence--so, this is what you witches are reading behind your textbooks." He arched a brow up at Sasha, keeping the magazine out of her reach as he continued to read: "If you think working at Witch Weekly is all fun, games, and dildo deliveries...then you are correct. As the OG sexual empowerment magazine, we field hundreds of pitches about new sex toys, products, services, and change makers that are enhancing pleasure for women--" he shifted his eyes from the page to Sasha as he grinned and offered: "Now, pretty thing, if that is what you need, I am sure I have just what you would need covered." The glint in his eye and smirk on his lips said that he was sure that she knew that as well--from the ample experience that had gotten in the months after Pyxis before he made an arse of himself and pushed her away.

Sasha Violet Augustine   • 521 • uniform, loose tie

article excerpts and titles are from legitimate cosmo

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

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[attr="class","clyrics"]And your boyfriend pretends not to see her[break]
'Cause she's got that fire, doesn't even try

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[attr="class","cbody"]She had not expected to see Devin back at Hogwarts. When word had come about them being allowed back, obviously she had known that she was going to go. It wasn’t necessarily that she wanted to or that she thought it would be anything like it had been before. Sasha had known that it was going to be different. She had known that going back to school like nothing had changed was going to be impossible. So much had changed. In all honesty, more was different now than it was the same. From the beginning, she had known that it would be.
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But coming back had been the only choice that she had. Her parents didn’t want her at home. They hadn’t said that exactly, not explicitly anyway, but she had seen it in the looks in their eyes when they happened to be around and had known it in their absence as well. Had heard it behind closed doors when they had been trying to decide what boarding school to send her to. They had even set up a brunch to talk to her about those options. Of course, they’d never actually showed up to that brunch, but she had still known what the plan had been. Sending her away. Maybe they even hoped that a boarding school would even be able to make her normal again. She knew that was what they always hoped for—for their daughter to be pretty, charming, thin, perfect… normal. She had always fallen short of all of that, though she tried. But the one thing that she could not change was being normal. To them, being a witch would never be normal.
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She could have tried, she supposed. Could have decided not to come back to Hogwarts at all, and instead go to whatever Muggle boarding school they wanted to send her to. She could have decided to leave it all behind. What had the magical world done for her? What had being at Hogwarts done for her? The magical world and the whims of its political figures had turned their backs on Muggleborns. They had put them in ghettos, had tortured them and had treated them like they were nothing. There was no telling when something like this would happen again. Maybe it would have been better to just leave and never look back.
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Yet here she was. As much as she had thought about it, she couldn’t imagine leaving it all behind. She had decided to go back to school, because she hadn’t felt normal at home. Being there hadn’t been right. Too much had happened for her to just go right back to the parties and that normalcy. Yes, she’d enjoyed her fair share of spa days and shopping trips since she’d returned. She’d still enjoyed that—she likely always would. But the rest of it? Settling back into her old life had been hard. She had thought maybe Hogwarts would be easier.
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The fact that Devin was here as well meant that it decidedly wasn’t. It was bad enough trying to get back to normal here. He was the one that knew everything that she had been through, that had helped her and cooked for her, and had been with her on that night. He knew better than anybody how absurd it was to just come back here and go back to classes, and she didn’t want him to understand her at all. He couldn’t. Whatever they’d had… it was over. So, she didn’t know why he kept trying to make it worse. Why he kept trying to prod at her until she snapped at him.
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A sigh was her only reaction as he snatched the magazine from her grasp, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Why couldn’t he leave well enough alone? Didn’t he know that he’d done enough damage? “Devin—” she protested, trying in vain to grab the magazine back from him the moment the word ‘sexcellence’ left his lips. But with it firmly out of her grasp, he was able to continue. Of course, this was the article that had caught his attention. Now she had to ignore his smirk and try not to think about what he was surely thinking about. Though they had only shagged once while they were in Kolna, running into him after that fight had changed all that. The last thing she needed to think about were all of the shags after fights, or how many times she’d been with him in her bed. That was in the past. “I think I’ll stick to the toys,” she said instead, blue eyes narrowing in his direction. “Less of a chance for disappointment.” The words could be taken in different ways—she knew that. He could take it in the context of this conversation and that article, or how he’d disappointed her by tossing her away like she was nothing.
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[attr="class","cnotes"]821 ● @ not funny ● uniform

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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Teenage daydream

Just another dressed up heartbreak

God save the prom queen

Even though he knew he had mucked it all up--even though he knew with them back here and back with their families outside of here (or her with hers, anyway)--even though she was back to being a princess, and he was undeniably the pauper. He still wanted her. He wanted to be around. He wanted to cook for her. He wanted to snog her, to shag her, to sleep beside her. He wanted all the things that they'd never even had. 

At Kolna, even after he'd shagged her that once, even after the Lestrange incident, they hadn't been a couple. Not in the official sense... and he'd fallen inside the darkness inside himself while they had been at Pyxis. But then, she had come to his fight, he'd kissed in front of that whole crowd, and they'd been something then. They'd been public in a way they had never been before. Not that they really knew anyone in that room...but it didn't matter. He had staked a claim on her and she'd embraced it. She'd embraced being his. And they'd been something. She'd come to his fights. They'd shagged. They'd talk, though admittedly not about too much. 

And then he'd acted like a blasted fool. He'd let his fear get the better of him. He saw how he felt about her--and how fast he was falling...and so he pushed her away. He drove her away. It had been a stupid mistake. He regretted it every day. Every time he saw her, he knew it was written on his face. He cared. He longed. It was not cool. But he barely even tried to hide it. He had no right to show that he wanted her. He had been the one stupid enough to tell to go, to go back to her old life, to her old self. But he didn't want her to be her old self. He didn't want to be his old self. He wanted them to be something new and more, maybe better. He could ground her and she could lift him up. He'd try for her...to rise above the slums he'd come from. 

But he had to get her back for them to be the thing that he pictured in his mind for them. An apology would surely go along way towards making that happen. It wasn't I'm sorry that was falling off his tongue when he saw her though. His damned pride was choking those words back. Fear had them in its clutches, too. Because what if he apologized, what if he said sorry, what if her came out and said he wanted to be with her and she said no. His defense mechanisms were protecting him from that rejection--they were, also, leaving him lonely. 

So, he did stupid shit, like steal her magazine and make a show of reading it. Sasha had a way with words, though, much more than he ever had. Her silver tongue sliced a sharp reply and it struck deep. She hadn't come out and said it blatantly. She hadn't called him on disappointing her. But he knew that was what she meant. He had disappointed himself.

Instead of some form of an apology coming off his tongue, he flashed a grin at the pretty. A shake of his head and an exaggerated click of his tongue were paired with the rolling of those bright baby blues:  "Sash--now, we both know that I never, not even one time, left you disappointed. There are things that girls might be able to fake, but you weren't faking." There was no one nearby to hear them talking about the fact that they had shagged, but he wouldn't have avoided the topic if there had been. He wanted other guys to know that she was off limits. Talk of his fights had reached Hogwarts, blokes knew he could do a number to them if they crossed him. So, Sasha Augustine was his, even if he hadn't completely won her back over yet.

@ you know you love me • 668 • uniform, loose tie

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

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[attr="class","ctopline"]Everybody's looking up when she

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[attr="class","clyrics"]And your boyfriend pretends not to see her[break]
'Cause she's got that fire, doesn't even try

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[attr="class","cbody"]Coming back to Hogwarts was always going to be hard. She had known that from the moment that she’d heard they had been allowed to come back. But she had come here anyway. It was the only choice that she had, really. Sasha knew that her parents weren’t sure what to do with her now that she was home. They had barely known what to do with her when they had first found out that she was a witch, but they had adapted to that… sort of. They were around far less, expected far more when they were, but it had worked out for her all right. She got the credit cards, the shopping trips and spa days, and they got her dressing nice and coming to the right parties and impressing their friends. And then she was gone the other half of the year, and it had worked out just fine for all involved.
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But they didn’t know what to do with a damaged daughter. They didn’t know how to deal with a daughter that was a witch and that had gone through God knew what while she had been away. It wasn’t like she had gone into detail and explained it. The only time that they had even paid a bit of attention to how she was doing was the first time that she’d woken them up after having a nightmare. She didn’t know how loud she had to be screaming to wake them up in their room, but that had been when her mother had first started trying to feed her pills to try to balance her and mellow her out.
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She needed away from that. She tried to fit back at home. Shopping helped, spa days helped. Those were the things that she had always enjoyed and even after everything that had happened, she wasn’t going to suddenly dislike clothes. Fashion had always been something of a passion of hers. She liked buying new clothes, pairing together outfits, looking nice. But even all of that was not enough for her to feel like she fit back at home. When the option came to go back to Hogwarts, she knew it was the only one that she had.
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But maybe she should have known better. Coming back here… everyone knew what she was and where she had been. Everyone looked at every Muggleborn with either contempt or pity, depending on the house, blood status, or belief of the person doing the staring. She didn’t mind contempt—she could deal with and sass back against contempt. But she was not going to be looked at like she was something to pity. It had meant doubling down on her old antics. It meant reminding them what being on the bad side of Sasha Augustine looked like.
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That used to be fun. But now it was just something that she did to get people to stop looking at her like they felt bad for her. It had worked. That was one blessing that had come out of going back to her old behavior. Being awful to people was a good way to get them to stop pitying her. It meant that girls were back to either hating her or wanting to be her friend, or both. Boys were back to wanting to shag her or being terrified of her.
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And then there was Devin. He had been pestering her, and prodding at her, and she didn’t know what he wanted. He had been the one that had wanted her to go back to her old life. She had done that. Now that she had, it was like he wanted her attention again. It was such a typical boy move. He didn’t want her when she wanted him, but now that she was a challenge again, he was interested. Now that he couldn’t have her, he wanted her. He had probably seen her talking to Emanuel or other boys in the common room and didn’t want anyone playing with his toys even if he had tossed her away like she was nothing.
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Sasha didn’t know what kind of reaction that he wanted from her. She didn’t know what he wanted from her at all. But she could do nothing as he grabbed her Witch Weekly and read it out loud. She just had to think he’d go away if she cut him deep enough. Words had been her weapon long enough to know that she could make it hurt. Her eyes narrowed as he spoke, though a glance around the common room revealed that there was no one close enough to hear what he’d said. The last thing that she needed getting around was the fact that they’d been shagging. For more reasons than one, that was better off locked down and kept a secret. Her gaze moved back to him, her glare sharper than before. “Maybe you should go ask Emanuel how I actually sound. Then you might question just how much I can fake.”
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Emanuel was most certainly not interested in her that any way and would also likely not react well to Devin actually asking him that, but he wouldn’t. It was a comment just meant to further Devin’s clear jealousy and hopefully piss him off enough for him to leave her alone.
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[attr="class","cnotes"]885 ● @ not funny ● uniform

[attr="class","cred"]MADE BY VEL OF WW + ADOX 2.0

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