Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2019 17:38:37 GMT -5
Just look and you will see, that I will be your rememdy
But when the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
June 6th 2019
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see
June 6th 2019
Okay, so a small part of her was freaking out. It had been a year since she had been here the last time and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do this time. She was stressed, she was panicking a little and she didn't need this on top of everything else. When she had gone through her first pregnancy, she had been alone she had been scared and she had been hurt, the second one she ha wanted anything more than anything else in the world, but she had been given the worst kind of motivation to end it. Her mind had wondered for so long what might have been if JR Parker had never given her that money. Would she be happy, would she end up alone again. She had no way of knowing now, but she had ended it. She had called Jaxon and asked him to help. That was when she went to the hospital.
They had noted it on her chart what she had done, a blemish on it no doubt marking her a horrible person but it was better that way, it was better not having brought that child into the world. After all, the father had literally just finished Hogwarts, she didn't need to be a mother to the father of her child, she already had Renny to look after. Running a hand through her hair she went up to the back stairs and back into the apartment. Renny was playing in his room and she sent the waitress, who had agreed to watch him, back downstairs before going to the bathroom. The box felt heavy in her hand and she looked up at the mirror.
She had rings around her eyes from where worry had kept her from sleeping, she looked pale because she was struggling to keep things down at times, and she was struggling to keep herself from crying. Why hadn't they been more careful? Would Jaxon even want the baby? Would he accuse her of it belonging to someone else? Would it damage his relationship with their son? It all scared her. She had been worried since Tess had come over, well she had been worried before then as well but she had not allowed her worries to bother her as much. Her shaking hands opened the package and took out both tests and then the instruction booklet.
Renny came in and needed to use his potty so she helped him and then sighed as he went back out to get his own sippy from the fridge and she watched as she passed by again to go into the living room. She took both tests and put them both on the counter before putting a timer on her phone and started to pace. Three minutes. Three long ass agonizing minutes. Would this hurt whatever it was that she and Jaxon had now? It had been two months barely, and she was sure that she was letting herself do something stupid like feel things, which was dangerous. He was dangerous if anyone else knew what he was they would think so at least, but she knew him, and she knew that he would never hurt anyone on purpose. He was a kind, a great man and an even better father. so she had no idea why she was freaking out really, but most of it was in the fear that he would not want it, would not want her.
She paced and saw her phone light up and replied to his text, telling her she would meet him where he suggested just as the timer went off. Her nerves felt like they were going to explode from under her skin. Oh, fuck. Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!!! She moves over to the privy and threw up, rather ungracefully, for a few moments before getting a small rag, and wetting it she dabbed at her face and then her neck. She would need to redo her eye make up, but the tests were ready, it would have to wait.
Standing she leaned against the counter and picked up both tests before flipping them over at the same time. "Fuck!"
They had noted it on her chart what she had done, a blemish on it no doubt marking her a horrible person but it was better that way, it was better not having brought that child into the world. After all, the father had literally just finished Hogwarts, she didn't need to be a mother to the father of her child, she already had Renny to look after. Running a hand through her hair she went up to the back stairs and back into the apartment. Renny was playing in his room and she sent the waitress, who had agreed to watch him, back downstairs before going to the bathroom. The box felt heavy in her hand and she looked up at the mirror.
She had rings around her eyes from where worry had kept her from sleeping, she looked pale because she was struggling to keep things down at times, and she was struggling to keep herself from crying. Why hadn't they been more careful? Would Jaxon even want the baby? Would he accuse her of it belonging to someone else? Would it damage his relationship with their son? It all scared her. She had been worried since Tess had come over, well she had been worried before then as well but she had not allowed her worries to bother her as much. Her shaking hands opened the package and took out both tests and then the instruction booklet.
Renny came in and needed to use his potty so she helped him and then sighed as he went back out to get his own sippy from the fridge and she watched as she passed by again to go into the living room. She took both tests and put them both on the counter before putting a timer on her phone and started to pace. Three minutes. Three long ass agonizing minutes. Would this hurt whatever it was that she and Jaxon had now? It had been two months barely, and she was sure that she was letting herself do something stupid like feel things, which was dangerous. He was dangerous if anyone else knew what he was they would think so at least, but she knew him, and she knew that he would never hurt anyone on purpose. He was a kind, a great man and an even better father. so she had no idea why she was freaking out really, but most of it was in the fear that he would not want it, would not want her.
She paced and saw her phone light up and replied to his text, telling her she would meet him where he suggested just as the timer went off. Her nerves felt like they were going to explode from under her skin. Oh, fuck. Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!!! She moves over to the privy and threw up, rather ungracefully, for a few moments before getting a small rag, and wetting it she dabbed at her face and then her neck. She would need to redo her eye make up, but the tests were ready, it would have to wait.
Standing she leaned against the counter and picked up both tests before flipping them over at the same time. "Fuck!"
