Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2018 16:07:40 GMT -5
Even your emotions have an echo in so much space
She had the night off, and a part of the next day, so Malissa had gotten in her car after work, went home and changed and then drove. She put the top down and just didn’t think about where she was going, she just went. Not something that happened often, but she needed it. She needed to go, to get out and just leave. Her apartment had been fixed back up how she liked it. All traces of the one who got away were gone. She had cried the entire time, but now she was trying to get her shit together. They were only together for a few months, Mal had proposed and spooked her. Sure she was moving really fast, but she knew what she wanted and she had a plan to help her get to rights, to get out of the Leaky. Carrying a child for another family, even a pureblood family sounded like a good idea, they were going to let her live with them, they were going to pay for everything. Malissa still had no ideas what had gone wrong. She had no idea what the problem was, but she was moving on, trying to move past it.
Forgetting was harder than one wanted to think, it was so much harder than she wanted it to be. It was hard to let go, and just be, but that was what made life so beautiful. The scars that they bore made them who they were and it helped form everything about a person. Malissa had her fair share of them and she would have so much more than she would have any other way, but she had large decisions before her. She had been discussing with her sister the possibility of just marrying some lower run pureblood, or a halfblood bastard of a nice family. She was still pure, but was a squib and most likely her children would be magical. Xiomara even offered to help her find a husband. She… wasn’t sure about it. She had a lot to think about. Having someone’s kid for them and being clinical was one thing, but marrying a man when she wasn’t interested in them was a kind of self punishment that wasn’t really her thing.
Did she want a family eventually, yes, but that was her own deal. She had to decide what she wanted, and what would be best for her. Each thing had pros, each had cons, but nothing was settled better, than over a bottle of whiskey. She sat in a dark corner of the place, a room nearby had been reserved and she would drive home before work the following day. She was in a constant war with herself, of being okay and falling apart and she needed this to get her shit together. YJ had hired her for a reason. Disappointing him was not something that she wanted to do. After all, she was disappointing everyone else, herself included. Taking the ‘classy’ route as she finished her glass she poured more, rather than drink from the bottle. Alcoholics did that, she was just… hurt.
Someone came to stand near by and She took a drink from the glass, the ice rattling in the cup as she set it down. ”You gonna stand there all day, or did you want to sit?” Putting her foot on the chair in front of her she pushed it out and leaned back into her own a little more.
Forgetting was harder than one wanted to think, it was so much harder than she wanted it to be. It was hard to let go, and just be, but that was what made life so beautiful. The scars that they bore made them who they were and it helped form everything about a person. Malissa had her fair share of them and she would have so much more than she would have any other way, but she had large decisions before her. She had been discussing with her sister the possibility of just marrying some lower run pureblood, or a halfblood bastard of a nice family. She was still pure, but was a squib and most likely her children would be magical. Xiomara even offered to help her find a husband. She… wasn’t sure about it. She had a lot to think about. Having someone’s kid for them and being clinical was one thing, but marrying a man when she wasn’t interested in them was a kind of self punishment that wasn’t really her thing.
Did she want a family eventually, yes, but that was her own deal. She had to decide what she wanted, and what would be best for her. Each thing had pros, each had cons, but nothing was settled better, than over a bottle of whiskey. She sat in a dark corner of the place, a room nearby had been reserved and she would drive home before work the following day. She was in a constant war with herself, of being okay and falling apart and she needed this to get her shit together. YJ had hired her for a reason. Disappointing him was not something that she wanted to do. After all, she was disappointing everyone else, herself included. Taking the ‘classy’ route as she finished her glass she poured more, rather than drink from the bottle. Alcoholics did that, she was just… hurt.
Someone came to stand near by and She took a drink from the glass, the ice rattling in the cup as she set it down. ”You gonna stand there all day, or did you want to sit?” Putting her foot on the chair in front of her she pushed it out and leaned back into her own a little more.