Shag: @donna - ....I'm not going to say it, but I know you know what I know haha
Marry: @sierra - Потому что она понимает, как работают русские
Kill: Kallisto Ophelia Parkinson - Kill or be killed

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OGs of Quidditch
@wood  - @flint  - @krum

shag: @krum - ... mmm jego piękne włosy
marry: @wood - To jest absurd. on jest stary.
kill: @flint -- nie jest słodki

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i cant think of anything so random weaselys

@ginny @percy Victoire Molly Weasley

shag: @ginny
marry: Victoire Molly Weasley
kill: @percy

Luiz is really struggling with which one to shag and marry--Victoire is so young, but Ginny is already married and also not super about men... This made him uncomfortable overall.

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ICW Ladies:
@elizabeth, Samira Avani Chaudhari, Sonia J. Lazare

Bonus Trio of ICW Men:
@davis, @murphy, Luiz Almeida

"We're going to go with the men, thank you."

Shag: @davis - "Still a little too young to marry."
Marry: Luiz Almeida - "Handsome, smart, age appropriate."
Kill: @murphy - "Much too young, sorry."

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@flint, @walker, @dorian

Shag: @walker "He's cute he's young... why waste...?"
Marry: @dorian "Got a good head on his shoulders, but still broken...."
Kill: @flint "Not my type. I don't do the broody thing..."

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@donna Michael Holden Parkinson Kallisto Ophelia Parkinson

the single Parkinson's edition

for Medea Giovana Stone:
Shag: Kallisto Ophelia Parkinson (“and hopefully live through it”)
Marry: @donna (“less likely to kill me, probably some interesting ways to discuss Pyxis...”)
Kill: Michael Holden Parkinson (“Nothing personal, I’m a lesbian”)

Petronilla Abigail Laveau, however says the better order is:
Shag: Michael Holden Parkinson (“he’s a playwright, and it’ll be fun to be with him after. Seems a good person to be friends with, even if I’d hide some habits”)
Marry: Kallisto Ophelia Parkinson (“it’ll be fun, at least, no matter how short-lived”)
kill: @donna (“what a pity. but there’s nothing stopping me from booking up with her before, right? Best way to do it.”)

Rookwood/Blackwood kids
Jarred Linden Rookwood, @saffron, @sorrel

Shag: Jarred Linden Rookwood
Marry: @saffron
Kill: @sorrel

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Blondes: @lyra, @sabine, @afro

Michael wouldn't play, so we had to switch.

SHAG: @lyra - you can only shag a werewolf once, just to see what it's like.
MARRY: @sabine - closest thing to a pureblood on here.
KILL: @afro - oldest, most unavailable, but definitely hypothetical, we're not killing a pregnant woman.

@remington, Oralie Slughorn, Zoe Genevieve Shafiq

"All of them are younger than me, but anyway..."

Shag:Oralie Slughorn - have to do a snake once ~not that I havent before~
Marry: @remington - she's pretty
Kill: Zoe Genevieve Shafiq - Deep down, I have a soft spot for Lions

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@walker Jaxon Jameson Cole @dorian

"Well this is about to get awkward isn't it?

Going to have to Shag Jaxon Jameson Cole. That seems best.

Marrying my uncle is weird. But he's the only pureblood on the list. So Marry @dorian.

Which leaves @walker to Kill, sorry, you're the youngest, and I don't know you."

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Death Eater Witches that Are Not My Máma:

Dani Kopitar-Higgs, Sloane Cressida Rosier, Roma Avery Warrington